Disclaimer: I do not own The Twilight Saga, The Vampire Diaries or any of its characters.
A/N: After a really looooong break, I'm back. Let me know what you think about this chapter! I love it when you review cause then I get to know what you guys think! :)

CHAPTER 8: MATT DONOVAN

The others were at the Grill when Matt and I arrived. An unusually big crowd had gathered tonight, the advertising for tonight's performance seemed to have paid off. It was as expected. Both adults and teenagers had come to see the band perform. I felt my stomach turn a little. They needed all hands on deck tonight. I just wished that my first time waiting tables on my own would've been any other night.

It was crowded and very hard to get around. Luckily this seemed to be a night when everyone had decided to only have drinks. It made it a whole lot easier when I didn't have to balance overloaded plates. Pretty soon I felt like a pro, zigzagging through the crowd to get around.

"To bad that you can't join us, it's a great band," Caroline said to me as I handed her her drink.

"Yeah, I'll just have to enjoy it while working," I said and tried to meet her gaze. She wasn't listening to me, her eyes had fluttered away and were locked by the bar. I saw Matt clearing away a table so that a couple of newcomers could sit down. He looked up and for a moment I saw their eyes meet. It was over after half a second but I could feel the tension in the air between them, it made me feel uneasy. When I looked at Caroline again I saw the sadness reflect in her eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked her despite the awkwardness. I wasn't the only one who had noticed Caroline's sudden drop of spirit. Elena put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

"I'm fine", Caroline reassured us both. "I need to visit the ladies room." She left us there, Elena looking worried and me just feeling confused.

A redheaded woman came from the direction Caroline was headed and turned after her as they passed each other. "What happened?" she asked Elena when she reached us.

"Matt drama," Elena explained. "She and Matt are going through a rough patch."

So they are a thing, I thought to myself and I wondered why I hadn't realized that earlier. Caroline always seemed to keep her spirits up in school though and I hadn't had much time to hang out with anyone outside school and work. I had never actually seen them together.

"Is she gonna be okay?" I asked as I looked in the direction of the bathrooms before my attention turned to the woman standing next to Elena.

"Yeah, I'll go check on her in a moment," Elena said and even though she gave me a reassuring smile the worry lines didn't leave her features.

"This is my aunt, Jenna," Elena introduced us and I smiled, although a little surprised, she looked way to young to be an aunt. "Jenna, this is Bella."

"Oh, so you're Bella," Jenna said and shook my hand. "Elena told me about your project," she explained. "Not that I'm some weird psycho who keeps track of the teenagers in town or anything like that."

I laughed. "Oh, good. What a relief," I said, Jenna laughed in response.

"So how is Mystic Falls treating you?"

"It's a bit of a change, but I like it," I answered honestly and then I threw a stressful glance around me. I needed to get back to work.

"Bella, do you wanna come over and study tomorrow after school, like we talked about?" Elena asked and I turned towards her again.

"Yes, that sounds great."

"Not that that doesn't sound like so much fun, but you should definitely stay for dinner too," Jenna interjected. "And of course you need to tell us more about the difference between Mystic Falls and your hometown."

"Yeah, you really should," Elena said with a smile. "We're all curious to know more."

"Yeah, okay," I said, even though some things sounded more tempting than others. "Thank you."

Elena searched with her gaze towards the bathroom. "I should go and make sure Caroline is okay. See you later."

I nodded in reply and as she walked away I turned towards Jenna. "It was nice meeting you."

"You too." She smiled and I left her as I searched the room, trying to notice any orders. Matt waved to me from a corner.

"The people over there want some drinks."
"Thanks."

"No problem." Matt walked away without as much as a second glance at me. It was obvious that this thing between him and Caroline, whatever it was, was affecting him more than he wanted anyone to notice.

I served drinks the rest of the night and helped Matt whenever too many tables needed to be cleared. I saw Caroline return from the bathroom with Elena, she still looked upset but it seemed like Elena had managed to calm her down a bit. It was hard not to notice the exchange of looks going on between Caroline and Matt the entire night.

The band finished their last song and people clapped their hands and then they started to leave the Grill. I saw Elena, Bonnie and Jenna move towards the door, all of them turning around to wave at me. I waved back with the washcloth in my hand. I didn't see Caroline then I noticed her walking up to Matt who was standing to the side of the bar. Caroline spoke first. Matt shook his head and tried to walk away but was stopped by Caroline putting her hand on his arm. He was angry. Caroline looked like she was trying to explain something. Suddenly she fell quiet and Matt spoke instead. He shook his head again. Caroline nodded at whatever he was saying and her hand fell from his arm. She made a gesture that clearly stated that she didn't know what to do. She looked down at her shoes. Her lips formed the words "I'm sorry."

I suddenly came out of my trance and hurried away from where I was standing. I felt embarrassed for looking at something that clearly was not meant for me. I moved as far away from them as I could and pretended to dry off tables that I had already dried off. Caroline left the Grill a moment later. I watched her until she disappeared through the door.

I hesitated for a second before I started to walk towards the bar and Matt, who was still standing there, running his hand trough his hair. When he saw me he looked down, like he was trying to hide something.

"Are you okay?" I asked but I already knew the answer. Instead of answering the question he asked one of his own.

"You heard us?" His voice was strained and I wasn't even sure if he cared about the answer.

I shook my head slightly. "No." It was technically true. "But I saw you," I said truthfully. I didn't want to step over the line, I didn't want to get lost in any ramblings so I just spoke flat out without over-thinking. "You looked upset. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Matt said quietly. "Yeah, I'm fine."

I nodded and then I lifted one of the tubs next to him. He gave me a nod and lifted the other one. I led the way to the kitchen. I could hear the roughness of his movements as the dishes clinked together behind me but I didn't say anything more and neither did he. We just worked side by side, til the end of our shift.

When we sat in his truck and he drove me home I wished there was something I could say or do to make him feel better.

"It's a nice night." It was terribly obvious that I was trying to start a conversation, but I couldn't handle this silence any longer, I couldn't handle him being so... sad. He had lost his usual glow. Matt seemed to understand what I was doing.

"I'm sorry if I seemed grumpy before," he said. I could hear the tension in his voice that he was trying to conceal.

"Grumpy isn't the word I would use, but sure," I said, shrugging.

"Then what word would you use?" he asked me and I felt delighted, and surprised, to have made him talk. I thought about my answer for a moment before giving it to him.

"Hurt. You looked hurt." I turned to him and I saw the sadness in his eyes. It tugged at my heart to see him like that. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked.

"Talk about what?" He didn't take his eyes off the road and I noticed how his entire body slumped in the seat., but his knuckles whitened as he clenched the wheel. I looked out the window too and the two of us sat in silence.

"It's over between us," he finally said.

"I'm sorry." I looked at Matt and I could see all the emotions on his face. Despite the hurt and sadness there was an eerie calmness over him.

"I've felt it happen for a while. Now it's just confirmed. These last few weeks there's been something different about her." Matt shook his head and sighed. "I just wish that she would tell me what's wrong, you know? She's always been blunt. The kind of person who just says whatever is on her mind. Even when you don't want to hear it." The small smile that formed on his lips was barely visible. "I just want honesty." Realization crossed Matt's face and I don't know if he was even aware of my presence when he continued. "If she can't give me that then we shouldn't be together." He didn't sound sad when he said it. It was like he spoke the clearest of truths. The eerie calm was there again. It made me nervous, I felt like I didn't know what he was hiding under his shell.

"I'm sorry," I said.

I don't know why I did it. I didn't even think about it. It just felt right. So I put my hand on his arm. It felt right for about a second and then I started to wonder how long it was appropriate to keep touching him. I sat there and felt uncomfortable, trying to come up with something more to say, to make the transition more natural, but as I was thinking about all of this I was still touching him and suddenly I realized that I had already passed the appropriate amount of time. The moment was officially awkward. Matt through a glance at me and I jerked my hand away like I had burned myself. Smooth.

"I'm sorry to unload all of this on you."

"It's okay, " I said.

"Please don't let any of the things I told you cloud what you think of Caroline. She really is one of my best friends."

"Yeah, you all seem very close," I stated.

"We are."

I continued to look out the window. The darkness made it hard to see anything but outlines. A sense of similarity washed over me. This night, this car ride, suddenly reminded me of other car rides that I had had, but with another boy. The realization made me open my mouth and speak. "I came here to get away from the person I was. I need to try to find out who I am without the influence of everybody else. Do you think that's even possible?"

Matt was quiet. Poor guy, he probably hadn't expected this kind of confession. But I desperately needed to talk to someone. To be the solitary hero didn't seem as courageous anymore. After a few moments of silence I couldn't stand it anymore, I turned in my seat to look at him. Matt looked like he was seriously contemplating my question. It took a moment before he spoke.

"Everyone has an image of who they would like to be. And who we want to be and who we are aren't always the same person. But I think that without knowing who we want to be we can't become who we are. So who do you want to be Bella?"

I looked at him and as I saw the profile of his face, smelled his familiar sent and saw that serious expression on his face, I couldn't say anything. It was like all the words fell off of my tongue and my mind went blank. Matt laughed and I felt my whole body warm up. The first smile I had seen from him all night.

"Don't look so surprised, Bella," he said. "I am more than a brainless jock."

I laughed. "I didn't think you were a jock."

Matt laughed loudly. "Oh, but you though I was brainless?

"I'm still deciding," I teased him. He let out another laugh.

"That was really deep, Matt," I said, turning towards him in my seat.

"I try," for a moment he looked shy and I couldn't do anything else but smile at him.

"You know that you can talk to me, right? Just because I have all that stuff going on right now doesn't mean that..." He stopped himself and frowned, like he was trying to figure out what to say. "You can talk to me," he finished and when he looked at me I felt like I really wanted to. I just didn't know how to.

"The real reason I came here isn't as deep as I made it sound. I needed something new. Actually I just needed to get away from... someone."

"A guy?" Matt asked, and suddenly I knew that he wouldn't judge me, he was going through something though too. He knew what it was like to leave the person you truly care about because it was the only right thing to do.

"Yes." It was hard for me to go on. "I fell in love and the rest of the world just stopped. I saw everything through him and I wanted to spend every minute that I was awake with him. And I basically did." I didn't look at Matt when I spoke, it would distract me and I needed to get this out. "I depended on one person, who I thought would never let me down. And when he did, I just... broke. I loved him. More than I should've. I don't know why I came here of all places, I just wanted to be somewhere else. Anywhere that wasn't Forks."

Matt had been listening to me silently the whole time. His expression was unreadable to me.

"Bella, I didn't know..." He turned his face to me and frowned, at a loss of words again.

"How could you have know? I didn't tell anyone." I just shrugged. He kept looking at me and after a moment he steered the car to the side of the road.

"I'm sorry," he said and I could see in his eyes that he truly meant it.

"Thank you." I smiled sadly at him.

We had arrived at the B&B.

"Thanks for the ride." I said as Matt turned of the engine.

"I'll walk you to the door."

"Okay."

We walked up the graveled path in silence for a moment. The night air was cool but not chilly, it was nice.

"Would you thank Mrs. Flowers for me again?"

"I will."

We reached the door and I unlocked it with my key. I put my hand on the handle and turned towards him.

"Thanks for the talk," Matt said, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Anytime." I smiled as I opened the door. "Good night, Matt."

"Good night, Bella."

It was lunchtime and I was sitting at one of the tables in the cafeteria, waiting for Chad to show up. I ran my fork through the mashed potatoes, thinking of a million more appetizing things I would like to eat. Half of the lunch hour had already passed and still no sign of him. Was this his way of blowing me off? Maybe he had taken my unwillingness to eat lunch with him yesterday for me trying to get rid of him. That wasn't the case. Chad was nice. I definitely didn't mind being friends with him. He was probably just running late. I kept pondering it and decided that the next time I saw him I would be extra cheerful and nice.

"Hey."

"Hey," I said, looking up to give Chad a huge smile. But it wasn't Chad.

"You look happy," Matt said as he put his tray next to mine and sat down at the table.

"I guess I am. I got a lot of things off my chest yesterday." Once again I searched the cafeteria for Chad, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"About that, I thought about it yesterday, I'm sorry if you thought it got weird."

I frowned and shook my head. "I didn't." All thoughts of Chad went out the window. "Did you?" Suddenly I felt a little uncomfortable. Maybe I had shared to much with him yesterday. He probably thought that I was some kind of psycho.

"Actually, I didn't. I think I really needed to share it with someone. And I'm glad it was you."

I blushed and looked at my mashed potatoes again. "Yeah, well, I think I needed it just as much as you. So thank you for listening."

We headed out of the cafeteria a while later and Matt was kind enough to walk me to my locker. We talked about the Grill, school, the teachers and people that he knew in my different classes. It was nice to have a normal talk. It was very easy to talk to Matt.

I grabbed my books with one arm and as I used the other one to shut the locker I accidentally dropped them all on the floor. I bent down with a rush to pick them up but so did Matt and our heads smacked together.

"Ouch", I lifted my hand to my forehead with a groan. At the exact same moment Matt did the same think. We looked at each other and suddenly be both burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry," I said with a grimace after we finished laughing.

"No worries," Matt said. "I'm a football player, I'm used to being tackled." He smiled.

We picked up the books and got to our feet again.

"I should go in there before class", I said, turning towards the ladies room.

"Okay, see you in History."

I nodded and couldn't help but return the smile he gave me. I pushed open the door to the bathroom and walked over to the sinks. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a slight blush linger on my cheeks. The smile on my face wouldn't go away. I shook my head.

"Okay Bella, pull yourself together," I reprimanded myself with a laugh as I let cold water pour over my hands. The sound of a toilet flushing made my whole body stiffen. Crap. The door to one of the toilet stalls opened and Caroline stepped out. My smile faded.

"Hi Bella, what's up?"
"Not much," I said before I had time to think.

"Really? Just talking to yourself in the bathroom?"

I closed my eyes in embarrassment. "Yeah, I guess I am", I answered her and forced out a laugh.

"I do that all the time too," she said as she walked up to the sink next to mine.

I smiled gratefully at her and hoped that that would be the end of this conversation. I turned the faucet off and reached for a paper towel.

Caroline leaned close to the mirror and rubbed her finger in the corner of her left eye, getting rid of an invisible smudge of make-up. "Besides," she said. "I already know what's going on anyway."

I felt my whole body get cold and then the guilt crept up on me and I opened my mouth. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was just hanging out with my friend. Who happened to be the ex-boyfriend of my other friend. This was getting way too complicated.

"It's Chad, isn't it?" Caroline said before I had the chance to start stammering. Her voice was excited and I could almost swear that I heard a squeal in there. "I've seen the way he looks at you. He really likes you!"

I forced out a smile and suddenly all the tension disappeared. "Yeah. Yeah, it's Chad," I said nodding. I forced out a smile and this time I knew exactly what I felt guilty about.

"I knew it! Only a guy can make a girl blush like that." She winked at me. "I wanna know every little detail later!" She smiled and left the bathroom, clearly clueless about all the thoughts circling around in my head.

It was walking distance to the Gilbert house from the B&B, so I dropped my car off at home before I went to Elena's house to study. It took me twenty-five minutes to reach her house. I felt a little excited, and I was nervous. Not about studying, but about seeing Elena's house. She was the first friend I visited here in Mystic Falls. It felt strangely exhilarating and like a new step in my new life. I needed this. I needed normal. I walked up the steps and took a moment to admire the hammock on the front porch before I knocked on the door. What could possibly go wrong?