A/N: This is a bunch of scenes that I'd like to see before Minekura-sama gets to the end of Saiyuki. Well, I can hope, can't I? - YoukaiNemisis

The woman staggered from the tree line and Jeep stopped with a squeal of tires and a cloud of dust. The female's hand lifted, pleadingly, before she collapsed to lie still in the dirt of the road. Goyjo rose to his feet, concern on his face.

"No," Sanzo said flatly. "Just no." He leaned over, grabbed the wheel with one hand and stomped his foot over Hakkai's onto the accelerator. Hakuryuu leaped forwards, fishtailing around the woman in the road.

"Sanzo-!" Hakkai gulped, trying to maintain control over the car.

"What gives?" Goyjo yelped, trying not to fall out. "We can't just leave her!"

"Yes, we can. Every time I let you idiots talk me into helping some random woman it ends up being a trap. Every damn time." Silence reigned for a while, and looking back Goku noticed the woman rise to her knees and shake a fist after them.

::

Kougaiji looked up at his mother and clenched his hands into fists so tight his nails sliced into his palms. "That's it!" he snarled. "Yaone, Dokugakuji, get me a jack hammer and a chisel!"

::

"Oh. My. So that's where you've been." Hakkai said in a breathless tone.

"Kyu?" Hakuryuu answered. He was sitting perched on the windowsill of Hakkai's room, and had his neck and wings entwined with those of another, smaller dragon, a smug expression on his tiny face.

::

"I'm sorry," Goku whimpered. "I'm so sorry. I just wanted to help."

"Don't be sorry, monkey, I haven't laughed so hard in ages!" Goyjo chuckled. "This is priceless, just priceless."

"Perhaps you should leave all the washing to me in the future, Goku. I appreciate the effort, but..." Hakkai finally gave in and dissolved into howls of laughter.

"I hate you all," Sanzo growled, bunching his hands in his skin-tight rose-petal pink robes.

::

"Right, so item number four on our agenda is no more stupid, suicidal attacks on the Sanzo party," said the foreman of the newly incorporated Youkai Minion Alliance. "All in favour say aye."

"Aye!"

::

Purple eyes met blue as Genjyo Sanzo stared down Hazel Gross. "Fine," he eventually snarled. "But don't expect me to cuddle after."

::

"Oh, crap."

"What is it, Sanzo?"

"I'm out of bullets."

"Then you can't shoot at us any more? Yay! No more Sanzo attacks!"

THWAP! "Dumb-ass."

::

Alarm bells rang, deafeningly loud, through the halls of Houtou Castle. Booted feet rang on stone as warriors gathered. "Ni!" screamed Gyokumen Koshu. The lab coated man materialised upon the platform and Lady Koshu glared at him from her throne-like chair. "What's going on?"

"The Sanzo party has finally arrived." Ni Jianyi stepped towards her, his smile growing wider. "They're here to kill you."

"What?" the female youkai screeched. "Gather the guard-!" Ni lunged gracefully, his fist smashing into Lady Koshu's jaw. Both woman and chair tipped over, and Koshu spilled to the dais in a tangle of hair and robes. Lady Koshu spat out a few broken teeth. "What-?" she said again, dazed. Ni approached and loomed over her, studying her swollen face and split lips, grinning fit to split his own face. He lashed out again, kicking her in the stomach, hearing ribs snap. She coughed out a mouthful of blood and looked up. "Ni," she managed.

"My name, you stupid, arrogant bitch, is Ukoku Sanzo." He let that sink in, and gave a little laugh as her eyes went wide. The bunny slippered foot lifted once more and stamped down on the centre of Koshu's face, and he sighed like a satisfied lover as her nose exploded, her cheekbones caved in and her eyes rolled back in her head. Leaning down, he noted that she was still breathing. So he stamped down on her chest, enjoying the crackle of bone as her sternum cracked. Then the foot was drawn back one final time and he kicked her off the platform to land in a broken heap below. "Thank you for your hospitality, my lady," he cheerfully called down to her, not caring that she was beyond hearing. "But I'll be going now."

::

"Pay up, Jiroshen!" the Merciful Goddess crowed. "I win!"

"But, my lady, it was only with the help of the demon prince and his followers that they stopped the resurrection," Jiroshen complained.

"So?" Kanzeon Bosatsu drawled. "You never said that they had to do it alone." Jiroshen muttered, then stalked off, coming back a few moments later with a small pouch.

"Here," he said grumpily. "Er, my lady," he added hastily. Kanzeon tossed the pouch from hand to hand, grinning.

"Now, what shall we bet on the outcome of their journey back East?"