AN: Until I can type up some more skits for the second season, have this little intermission skit! It's totally unrelated to the storyline, but whatever! Apologies for not posting anything sooner, but I just got back from my first trip to Disneyland! Space Mountain is the best roller coaster ever! I'm also having some trouble writing the second half of ch4 of UCSH2; I have to confer with my co-writer on that one.

Since this skit revolves around Resident Evil: Retribution, I tried to keep the spoilers to a minimum. Although, even I don't know all the spoilers to Retribution, so some liberties were taken. If you don't want to risk spoilers, don't read! I won't be mad!

If you do read this skit, this skit has guest characters from my other story, UnConventional Survival Horror. Until you read that, you probably won't know who Stevie, Mattie, and Kate are. So go read some of that fic and get an idea of their personalities! Otherwise you're in trouble!

Also! I did not write this skit (but made a few edits to get people in character), so I disclaim most of this skit! You can thank Jedispartan217 for this one! She asked me to put it with the rest of the skits for the sake of continuity. So yeah, enjoy!

This skit is dedicated to the talented Milla Jovovich! AKA Alice! XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil, its characters, or anything else made by Capcom! Non-canon characters own themselves.

(Set of RE: Retribution, currently on location in Russia)

Jill: **off set, with Ada** Wow! What a day! We did a great job last scene!

Ada: **nods** Yeah, but I think you were a little too rough with my capture.

Jill: **sheepish** Sorry! It's been a while since Apocalypse. I wanted action!

Ada: Can't blame you.

Claire: **walks up with Alice** Hey ladies!

Jill & Ada: Hey there Claire, Alice.

Alice: You guys enjoying the set?

Ada: It's cold, but I prefer being on location as opposed to a studio with green-screens.

Jill: It's awesome to be able to work together again, Alice. You've changed.

Alice: Same. I can't wait for our big fight sequence.

Claire: **surprise** What? You guys get your own fight sequence? All Chris and I got was our butts kicked by Wesker! Did I mention that we lost BADLY?

Ada: **shrugs** Well, most of it is now based on RE4 and RE5 elements. The story has to move along somehow. I'm pretty sure that's what the fans requested.

Alice: They did. **holds up phone**

Ada, Claire & Jill: **look at phone** Wow.

Alice: So Ada, you having fun?

Ada: My first movie appearance? Absolutely.

Claire: I just wish I were in this one. I'm not even sure why I was called here.

Jill: You're supposed to be here; you're in this movie too.

Claire: Really?

Alice: Yeaaah, but you only get mentioned and briefly shown in the intro, remember?

Claire: Oh yeah . . . Arcadia. Stupid Umbrella coming in and kidnapping people. But hey! I can hang out here with all of you!

Jill: What about Chris? Isn't he in the intro too?

Claire: I think he's having lunch with Barry.

Ada: Ah, right. He's here too, and so is-

Leon: **in distance** Ada!

Ada: **sigh** Leon . . .

Leon: **walks up to group** I was looking for you. Ready to go Ada?

Jill: For what?

Alice: They have to do a scene together.

Ada: Now? **Leon nods** Fine. I'll see you girls later. **leaves with Leon**

Alice:**to Jill & Claire** You want to go get some lunch from the catering truck? They have tacos today.

Jill & Claire: Sure!

(By Alice's trailer, one hour later)

Jill: … And that is how I learned not to say "sandwich" around Barry.

Alice: Interesting. **looks around** Where's Claire?

Jill: I think she said she was going to take the long way by Wesker's trailer . . .

Claire: **runs past them a short ways before falling into snow pile**

Jill: **surprised** Ah!

Claire: … Ow… **pulls herself up** My eye hurts . . .

Alice: **looks at Claire's eye** Looks like you're gonna have a nice black eye later, Claire.

Jill: Mother of-! What did you do…?

Claire: Well. . . .

(5 minutes earlier, in front of Wesker's trailer)

Claire: **knocks on door, hides behind snowbank**

Wesker: **opens door** Hello? **snowball hits him in the face, Wesker takes off sunglasses**. . . Redfield . . .

Claire: **scared** Mommy…. O_O

(present)

Claire: And that's how I got this jewel of a shiner!

Alice: And WHY in the world would you do that to Wesker?

Jill: Because she's Claire.

Claire:**sheepish** Heehee.

Alice: Oh! I almost forgot! The director hired some girls to be your personal assistants. They should be showing up soon.

Claire: Really? Who?

Alice: You'll see.

Jill: Oh come on Ali-

Mattie: JIIILL! **rushes in and tackles her to the ground**

Jill: WHOA! **lands facedown in snow**

Claire: **looks down, blinks** Mattie?

Mattie: Yep!

Kate: **walks over** Looks like we found you guys.

Claire: Kate?

Kate: Yep. **looks down at Jill & Mattie** Again with the tackle-hugs? You know what happened last time.

Mattie: Hey. We're in snow; it's softer.

Jill: **in snow, muffled**GET-OFF-ME-PLEASE.

Mattie: **gets off**

Jill: **stands up, brushes snow off**

Claire: **to Alice** Are these-?

Alice: Yep. Although I'm pretty sure Stevie should be around here as well.

Kate: I think we lost her around one of the sets.

Stevie: **in distance** It's freezing out here!

Alice: Sounds like she's over by the snowmobiles. So, anyway. You now have assistants.

Kate: Stevie's supposed to be working with Ada. I'm working with Claire.

Mattie: **excited** I'm with Jill!

Claire: Great! Although, I've got a small role, so I hope you don't mind being loaned out to Alice every once in a while.

Kate: No problem.

Jill: Yeah, yeah. That's cool. **to Mattie** Hey Mattie, can you go find an ice pack for Claire's eye?

Mattie: **excited** Sure thing Jill! **starts running off, trips and lands in snow pile** I'm okay!

Kate: **sigh** I'm gonna go make sure she doesn't hurt herself, or anyone else. **starts running off** Mattie! Wait up!

Jill: Hey, speaking of Ada. I wonder what scene she's doing with Leon right about now.

(On a different area of set)

Director: Action!

Ada: **shivering** It's so cold…

Leon: **takes off his jacket and puts it on her** Here, take this. I don't need it. **rubs her shoulders**

Ada: **glares at him, whispers** Don't think you're getting a date out of this, Kennedy.

Leon: **smiles** C'mon. I know you're enjoying this.

Ada: **annoyed, whispers** You know what? That does it. **slaps him**

Leon:: **falls backwards, dazed**

Director: **annoyed** Cut! Ada!

Ada: What is it?

Director: You're supposed to take the jacket and thank him! Not slap him!

Ada: Sir, it's just his chance to flirt with me. I don't care what the script says.

Director: Hey! The fans asked for it! You have to! Now we have to do it all over again. And somebody help Leon!

Ada: **looks down at him** . . . what am I going to do with you?

Leon: … **dazed**

Stevie: **driving snowmobile** INCOMING! **drives past Leon, buries him in snow, stops** Oh, hi there Ada! Hey… uhh… where did the director say he wanted this thing?

Ada: **facepalm, sighs** . . . Why me?

~END INTERMISSION~

AN: You know what? I'll stick in a short bio for each guest character.

Kate: The calmest of the three. Fave character: Claire.

Mattie: Very excitable. Likes hugging people. Fave characters: Chris & Jill.

Stevie: Hyperactive and easy to distract. Fave characters: Ada & Leon.