Eva's Christmas (oneshot)

"I'm going into hiding," Eva told her faithful robotic servant Chachamaru. "And avoiding this Christmas nonsense."

"You forgot 'Bah Humbug', Mistress," Chachamaru replied, making full use of her new sarcasm software. "I am confused. You do not wish to spend Christmas with Negi-sensei?"

"Ugh," cringed Eva as if tasting bitter blood. "Trust me, Chachamaru-san, if I had a Christmas date, it wouldn't be the boya."

"His father, then?" Chachamaru replied with the virtual ghost of a smirk.

Damn Hakase! Thought Eva. Why'd she have to make Chachamaru so freaking perceptive?

"Don't make it sound so creepy," she snapped. "Nagi-sama isn't a shota like my apprentice."

"Nevertheless," said Chachamaru, "you are centuries his senior, Mistress."

"If I thought like that about every idiot I met," Eva smirked. "I would never have any fun at all."

"Also, Nagi-sama is married to Negi-sensei's mother," Chachamaru retorted.

"Yes, I know, Chachamaru-san," Eva said sadly. "As such, there's nobody in the world who could be my Christmas date. So stuff it."

"What are you stuffing, Eva-chan?" said an annoyingly energetic voice, and Kagurazaka Asuna dashed through the unlocked door of Eva's cottage.

"What are you doing here, Kagurazaka-san?" asked Eva, annoyed at Chachamaru for forgetting to lock the door…or maybe purposely not locking it so that her classmates could wish her 'Merry Christmas'. If that's the case, Eva thought with an evil smirk, I'll punish her later!

"Shouldn't you be buying presents for Konoe-san and your stupid sensei?" Eva asked Asuna.

"Oh, yeah, I did that weeks ago," Asuna smiled. "I was just on my way back from my newspaper route and from buying gift wrap when I realized you didn't have anybody to spend the holidays with."

"Neither does Takahata-sensei," Eva countered. "Shouldn't you be more worried about making him merry?"

Asuna blushed, and her smile vanished. "S-shut up, Eva-chan! I was just trying to wish you a Merry Christmas. I don't have to, you know, so don't get mad at me for trying to be nice!"

"You're right," Eva snapped. "You don't have to. So run along home to our stupid sensei and stop pestering me. Besides, you're trespassing."

"The door was open, Mistress," Chachamaru reminded.

Yeah, I know, you little brat, Eva thought to herself with cross veins beginning to pop on her forehead. As you freaking planned it, right? Grrr, stop meddling in my affairs. I'm your mistress, not the other way around!

"Yeah, it was," Asuna cried. "And I'm not 'pestering' you!"

"Yes, you are," Eva smirked, shoving Asuna out the door. "Leave."

As Eva watched Asuna trudge back down the snowy lane, she sighed. "Chachamaru, go lock the door."

"Yes, Mistress," Chachamaru replied, bowing. "Why don't you go take a nap in your resort?"

"I think I will," Eva agreed. "Before any other cheer-spreading pests show up."

Eva fell asleep in her resort and didn't wake up until an hour later, when she heard screaming.

"He's here!" cried a voice that could only be Asuna's.

Damn Chachamaru, Eva thought. I thought I told you not to let her back in.

"Yes, he is," agreed Chachamaru's voice. "It is a Christmas miracle. The Thousand Master has returned."

W-what? Eva thought. Impossible. Chachamaru, that's cruel, pranking me like that. Honestly, I'm surprised. Normally, you're such a little goody-goody.

As Eva stood to scold Chachamaru for teasing her about Nagi again-and this time, dragging Asuna into it!- she became surrounded by light.

When she was able to see again, Eva realized she was sitting at a tea table in front of a well-decorated and brightly-lit Christmas tree.

Phantasmogoria, she realized. This isn't real.

But who would lock me in a Christmas-y illusion? Eva wondered.

"Stop daydreaming, Eva-chan," said a well-humored, masculine voice with a hint of an English accent.

No, Eva thought, but it was true: Nagi Springfield stood right in front of her…in a Santa suit.

"W-what the Hell?" cried Eva. "Nagi? But-"

"But what, Eva-chan?" laughed Nagi. "Are you going to wish me Merry Christmas or not?"

Eva stared up, disbelievingly, into Nagi's smiling face. He looked so…cute.

I know this isn't real, Eva thought. The real Nagi-sama is somewhere else. But this is such a very realistic dream. And, overall, she thought with a smirk, it's so much better than spending Christmas with those airheads who brought me this illusion.

I suppose I should thank them….I haven't seen Nagi-sama in years. Come to think of it….

…..this dream may be my only chance to be with him. Even if that brat Negi ever finds him, he'll refuse me. This may be a dream, but I've lived long enough to know that sweet dreams can hold me over for centuries.

"M-Merry Christmas, Nagi-san," said Eva.

"Not so formal, Eva!" laughed the phantom Nagi. "I've told you…. "Nagi" is fine. Now come have Christmas dinner with me!"

"S-shut up, Nagi," sighed Eva with a luminescent blush…..and ran into his arms.

Outside of the illusory space, Negi closed his Third Eye and looked away. "How did you know Master would accept this Christmas present from me, Asuna-san?" he asked, keeping up the spell that had allowed Eva into her dream world with Nagi.

"Because, Negi-bozu," Asuna smiled. "Even if she's a centuries-old vampire, Eva is a girl. And every girl dreams of love on Christmas."