Hey readers! This is a two-shot on what I think would happen if Kisame was ever to be randomly dropped into Seireitei. I find him a really underrated character and I wish there was more stories about him. I'd like to make it known that this is based on the assumption that Samehada will eat Reiatsu since I like to think that since chakra is half spiritual energy (reiatsu) it would work. Also, I like both Naruto and Bleach so I'm not very biased in the power levels. This is my honest opinion so if you don't like it please don't comment.

Timeline: Just before Itachi and Kisame debut in Naruto and pre-canon for Bleach.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach.

Never in his entire life had Kisame wished more that Itachi was by his side. The stoic Uchiha would probably know exactly how to handle such a situation and that would mean that Kisame would know how to handle it as well, by doing whatever Itachi tells him to.

But unfortunately for the shark like swordsman, Itachi was not with him and he was indeed alone in this new situation. The situation? Well, one moment he had been enjoying some dango with his partner at a small shop on their way to Konoha and the next moment he was 50ft in the air rapidly dropping towards an unfamiliar maze like village.

Damn thought Kisame as he stood in the middle of the road surrounded by unknown, possible hostiles wearing black hamakas, something he had never seen before. The strangest thing though was their strange chakra. It didn't even really feel much like chakra but whatever it was, it came in differing levels from every person and seemed to surround the area as well. The group all had swords already drawn and were shouting at him. Whatever they were saying was garbled together by their combined voices and Kisame couldn't make it out.

Standing there in his full Akatsuki cloak with his hand resting on Samehada's hilt, which was just over his shoulder due to the swords placement on his back, he didn't understand what the weaklings surrounding him were thinking.

His best bet was that they were a village of samurai and all samurais knew to be cautious of ninja, especially ninja who wore obviously cut headbands. Not any snow so Snow country is out but where else is there samurai running about in such numbers.

While Kisame loved to fight, he did not want to fight an unknown number of strange enemies alone in an unknown village. His decision on whether to attack or not was made easier by the fact none of the enemies had attempted to attack him.

Before Kisame could reflect anymore, the shouting around him quieted and a path was cleared for a small woman wearing a white haori over the same black hamaka the others wore. The woman had a long braid hanging down her front and a serene expression. If not for the level at which she was emitting that strange energy (ten times the amount of the others), Kisame would have assumed she was not a threat judging from her small stature and lack of obvious muscle definition that the best kunoichi always had.

The woman inspected him for a second then spoke in a quiet soothing voice, "Greetings ryoka, I am Unohana Retsu, captain of the Fourth division. May I ask who you are and what your business is in Seireitei?"

The woman, Unohana, reminded Kisame strongly of Konan with her calm politeness and hidden power. He hesitated for a moment before deciding to test the woman's knowledge.

"I am Hoshigaki Kisame, a missing-nin from Kirigakure and current member of Akatsuki. I have no business here since I have no clue where the hell I am or how I got here," said Kisame, finishing with a shark-like grin.

At his introduction, whispering broke out from the assemble crowd and one of the females, a tall woman with short gray hair and a fierce expression, turned towards Unohana and said, "Nothing he says makes any sense taicho! Please allow me to dispose of him for blatantly lying to you!"

The girl made a move towards him but immediately stopped herself at a spike of the Unohana women's energy.

"I sure that this ryoka is just lost, Isane," assured Unohana before directing herself to Kisame, "Please accompany me to the Sotaicho peacefully so we can sort out this confusion without any unnecessary violence."

Kisame regarded the calm woman before nodding slowly. He did not think it would be a good idea to get into it with the woman since she seemed so confident that he was no threat despite his very frightening appearance. In his experience, it was best to leave the all-out combat until he had sufficient information on his opponent or if it was necessary for the mission.

The fourth division captain (though he didn't know what the fourth division was) led him through many different streets and it seemed that she was the only one around who was so accepting of his shark like appearance. Every person they encountered seemed to be either instantly horrified or entranced by his face.

While Kisame was long used to it, it didn't mean he didn't like to see the fear in the eyes of the weaklings when he looked at them and gave them a grin that exposed his sharp pointed teeth. One man even fell on his backside with a girlish screech.

Unohana had just informed him that they were almost there when Kisame heard a horrified scream. He turned curiously to the source of the piercing sound and saw a young, girlish looking man with longish hair and two feathers attached somehow to his one eye.

"My eyes burn! ~so unattractive! How did such an ugly man come into being! Ohh my poor, poor beautiful eyes," wailed the man.

Kisame was planning to decapitate the kid but he was beaten to it when Unohana began emitting a dangerously dark aura and even did it with that kind smile plastered to her face. Just as she opened her mouth, probably to tell him to leave, the feathered man was dragged away by a bald man. The bald man sputtered some apologies to the captain, none directed at him, and bowed a few times before bolting away with the still wailing feathered kid.

Kisame decided quickly that he didn't like this place.

Kisame did not quiver in the slightest as he stood before the old man Unohana had insisted was her Sotaicho. In his world, making it to that age could mean one of two things: He was extremely powerful or, he was a huge coward. Either way, the Sotaicho was not his superior and he felt no need to kneel before him.

On either side of him there were a row of six captains, Unohana being one of them. A few that stood out to him were a white haired kid that couldn't be more than 12 but had eyes of a hardened shinobi, a man with a similar height and build to himself with his hair in spikes with bells in them who was emitting some serious bloodlust, and finally a man with a painted face and a strange head thing who was looking at him like Orochimaru used to look at Itachi when he thought no one was looking.

All this information was gathered in the seconds that he had walked through the door with Unohana and was introduced to Sotaicho of the Gotei 13, Yamamoto Genryūsai Shigekuni. Now he stood waiting for what the old man would say.

"Hoshigaki Kisame, I have been told all you have told my captain so please proceed in telling me your intentions here." The old man's voice was stern and unwavering and that put Kisame on edge. He never did like authority figures.

"As I told the woman, I have been dumped here against my will and my only intention is to find my partner and continue my mission."

The old man's eyes narrowed and he said, "Do you not realize your situation Hoshigaki Kisame? You have broken the law and intruded upon Seireitei, and if you cannot come up with a truthful explanation here and now, you will be arrested, or eliminated should you resist."

The old man's speech was accompanied by a spike in the old man's strange energy then a crushing weight. The weight felt similar to the killing intent higher level shinobi could employ to paralyze their victim and Kisame had little trouble using his own vast chakra to wave off the feeling.

The old man didn't show his surprise but said "You have very strange reiatsu and a large amount of it. I am impressed that you are still standing but do not be so arrogant to think you will leave here without granting us information on this Kirigakure you claim to come from and this Akatsuki you seem to be a part of."

This immediately set Kisame off. If there was one thing in this world that was absolutely taboo to Kisame, it was releasing confidential information. Trying not to let his agitation show, Kisame spoke evenly, "How 'bout we make a deal Sotaicho? If I can defeat one of your captains, you'll let me continue on my way. If the captain of your choosing wins then I will tell you everything you wish to know."

That was a lie of course. If he was defeated, Kisame planned to commit suicide to prevent information from be released. It only took one mind reader for Akatsuki's secrets to spill out.

Kisame heard several snorts and one outright crazed laugh but the Sotaicho seemed to be considering it. Finally the old man stamped his cane once to silence the room, and then spoke in a tone that accepted no arguments, "I agree to this proposition. If you can defeat the Eleventh Division Captain, Zaraki Kenpachi, in battle then you may go your own way without interference from Seireitei."

Kisame nodded then turned toward the man he could only assume was Zaraki Kenpachi due to his insane laughter and strengthening bloodlust.

"You look strong! I'll accept this challenge!"

Ya so this is the end of the first part of my two-shot I'm such a meanie! Well anyways the next and final chapter will be the fight of course so I hope everyone's excited! I saw a YouTube video about Kisame vs. Kenpachi and decided to try my hand at writing the fight! Remember that this is based on my assumption that Samehada will eat reiatsu so please don't think it'll be a one shot win fight. Please REVIEW! I want to hear suggestions for the upcoming fight!