"And then I bought the horse a prostitute!"

The guards stared for a moment, their mouths hanging open and then simultaneously burst into gales laughter, leaning on each other and pounding one another on the back as they struggled for breath. Sinbad straightened his robes and did his best to pretend to be a drunk pretending not to be drunk. It alternately involved standing very still and then somehow managing to lean very far in one direction without falling over.

The moment the guards had spotted him they had raised their swords and warned him away, since this was clearly highly volatile material they were looking after. A sheep had chosen that moment to lean through the wooden fence and start chewing on one of their tunics. But of course, being a sober person pretending to be drunk pretending to be sober, Sinbad had simply wobbled his way over and proceeded to break into a raunchy song about a man with three legs and his very happy wife. Officially labeled 'harmless', the guards had put away their weapons and proceeded to act as though the most notorious pirate in the seven seas was the village idiot.

At least they liked his jokes.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kale drop a goat on his cabin boy and turned his smirk into a hiccup.

Everything was going according to plan.

Back in the pen, Dimitri was struggling to walk while a live animal wriggled over his shoulders and bleating his disapproval.

"Shut up," he hissed at the goat.

"I don't think that's going to work," Kale said to him. "Let's just get them out of here quickly!"

He and the rest of the thieves clambered over the pen, using one hand to hold their charges steady and the other to climb.

"Great," Dimitri muttered. He slowly let go of his softly bleating goat with one hand and climbed over the pen. His balance was wavering dangerously as he neared the top, and he ended up using both hands to make it over to the other side, shrugging his shoulders in an attempt to keep a tighter grip on the goat. The damn thing did not appreciate being squeezed however, and kicked up a fuss violent enough to cause Dimitri to lose his footing.

"Dammit!" he cursed louder than he should have, seconds before he tumbled to the ground. He shut his eyes, waiting for the impact, but was stopped from meeting cold, hard stone by a pair of strong hands against his back.

"That was close! Hold on to your goat now," Kale whispered as he set him back on his feet. He had set the cow down just in time to catch the wobbling cabin boy.

"Yeah, yeah…" Dimitri's fingers closed over his goat's legs once more and he followed after the scurrying thieves who ran deeper into the shadows. "Hey, d'you think I could train Spike to herd these things?" he asked to Kale's retreating back.

"I think you'd have better luck teaching your pup to sing. Come on." A hoof from Kale's cow almost clipped him in the head as the first mate turned around and jogged after the rest of the smugglers. Somehow Sinbad was perched very smartly on the back of the cow and gave Dimitri a mock salute as Kale ran down the street carrying both of them.

"What are you doing up there?" Proteus grumbled from the other side.

The group hurried as quickly as they could on light feet. Save for the inevitable stray bleating (and a particularly loud moo from the cow which had them all freeze into place for a second), they passed through the streets unnoticed. Dimitri had to give these guys credit for their natural ability to blend with the shadows. It was an underappreciated art, he thought. Becoming invisible was what had helped him survive for so many years.

Their good luck ran out however, as the men ahead of the group sharply rounded the corner. Dimitri heard a few thumps and a surprised growl before someone shouted: "THIEVES!"

He strained his neck and saw a group of armed guards brandishing their weapons in the men's faces, while the goats stared off in the distance.

"Scatter!" Roared Nassor. This was no betrayal, this was simply a poorly timed guard change. Sinbad leapt down from Kale's cow with an elaborate backflip and ran, bouncing across the helmets of three of the guards before landing in an alley. He knew that Nassor had done his research, checking and rechecking the patrol schedules. But something had apparently gone wrong because they were here early and now they had a battle on their hands. The pirate cursed, wishing that he'd brought his swords rather than just a knife. A simple blade wouldn't do much against a dozen heavily armored guards like this.

So it seemed that in this case, fleet feet were more preferable than a sword.

"Come on!" He seized Dimitri by his collar and off they ran, pursued by the three guards he'd stepped on while the rest of the smuggler gang quickly broke into pieces and vanished with their own problems right on their heels. Proteus could be seen being dragged off with Nassor and one of his men.

Dimitri could have easily kept up with Sinbad if he didn't have a flailing goat currently kicking up a storm and bleating for all it was worth draped across his shoulders.

"Ow! Stop it!" He yelled uselessly. The goat's incessant cries muffled the chasing guards' footsteps, and Dimitri hadn't realized how close they were until he felt an arm roughly grab him from behind.

"I caught him!" the guard yelled, pulling a struggling Dimitri away.

The goat had visibly had enough of all of these manhandling humans and delivered a swift kick to the guard's eye. He released Dimitri with a howl, clutching at his face and leaving a bewildered cabin boy enough time to make his escape.

"Guess you've got your good moments!" He called to his new companion. The goat snorted in response.

He glanced behind him to see that the other guards were closing in and forced his legs to move faster so he could catch up to Sinbad.

"Hey! Do you have a Plan B or anything? Because I don't think we can lose them at this rate!" he said.

"Yeah, don't die! I like that plan!" Sinbad grabbed a brick edge and used the momentum to swing himself around the corner. He was presented with a dead end and a high wall with a haystack in the base. Before he could backpedal, the guards rounded the corner as well, brandishing their swords in a manner that said they weren't averse to killing them right then and there.

"This might be more interesting than I thought. Put down that goat. Or better yet, throw it at them!" And then Sinbad leapt at the closest guard, brandishing his knife as he tackled the man to the ground.

"And here I thought you'd berate me for losing the goods," Dimitri muttered.

But when one of the guards lunged for him, he reacted instantly and hoisted the goat off his shoulders. He tossed it to the guard, who in his surprise, dropped his sword to catch it. Dimitri took the opportunity to deliver a good punch, his hands moving to catch the goat as his opponent fell over with a grunt.

"Not bad, little guy!" he said before a sharp burning pain sliced across his left thigh. Dimitri cried out and dropped to his knees and pressed a flat palm to the blossoming red stain on his pant leg.

The goat had scampered off in fright, nowhere to be seen. Dimitri looked up with blurry eyes to see another guard leering over him. His sword was stained with blood running along the blade. He tried to leap away, but the agony in his leg made him tumble onto his backside, clutching at the wound so hard that his fingers were digging into his nails. The guard chuckled and raised his sword high to deliver a mortal blow.

"Excuse me." A tap on the shoulder distracted the guard and he turned around in confusion. His two companions lay behind him, either dead or unconscious. It was hard to tell in the low light. "I do believe that's my cabin boy you were about to behead." And then Sinbad hit him in the temple with the handle of his dagger and the guard dropped like a stone.

Dimitri wished he didn't have to owe Sinbad more than once for saving his life. This feeling of gratitude towards the pirate was frankly embarrassing.

"Just in time," he croaked, rather than actually saying "thanks". He'd reserve those for whenever Sinbad saved him from really great peril.

"I can hear the goat. He couldn't have gotten far." Dimitri grit his teeth against the pain, propping himself up on his good leg. The blood from his wound was dripping steadily on the ground; he needed to bind it and fast. "Grab it and go," he said to Sinbad. "Now, before any of the guards still alive wake up!"

"They aren't going anywhere and neither is the goat. Quit worrying so much – it just makes you bleed faster." It was the work of a moment for Sinbad to drag the three guards into the haystack at the end of the alley and dump them into it. A moment of artful arrangement later and it was impossible to tell what sort of grizzly contents the innocent pile was concealing.

While Sinbad took care of the pleasant job of evidence disposal, Dimitri limped his way to the nearest building to slump against the wall. He stretched out his injured leg to assess the damage. His hands were smeared in his own blood, and trembling too if he looked at them long enough. His breathing was labored and unsteady, but Dimitri knew he'd live. Hopefully they didn't have to chop his leg off or anything. Now that he thought about it, how high were his chances of infection?

Another bolt of pain snapped him away from his spiraling thoughts and Dimitri forced himself to concentrate on the here and now. He fumbled with his vest and managed to slip it off before tying it around his wound as tightly as he could, though his shaking hands were making it difficult.

"Really?" Sinbad was back again, standing over him with an expression that managed to be half amused and half condescending.

Dimitri slid his palms flat on the ground to steady himself and narrowed his eyes at Sinbad.

"Could you not right now?" he hissed.

He could hear the light clopping of a small animal making its way over, until something furry was tickling his neck. The goat had apparently come back to check up on him.

"Cut it out," Dimitri said softly, but he had no energy to rebuke the goat.

"Yes, go look after our friends in the hay stack. Beat it!" A quick kick from Sinbad to its fluffy rear had the goat bleating and trotting over to the hay, which it happily started chewing on, apparently unfazed by the brief tussle.

"Now, could I not what?" Asked Sinbad, who looked very pleased with himself as he undid the vest tourniquet and started tugging at the laced tops of Dimitri's now blood-stained pants.

Dimitri let his head droop, his mind too scrambled to give Sinbad the biting retort he so richly deserved. He was vaguely aware of Sinbad's hands fiddling with his hastily tied vest.

"Do you have some hidden medical talents I am unaware of?" he asked in between shallow gasps.

His eyes strayed to where Sinbad was busy fiddling, his mind suddenly clicking on to something.

"Wait a minute…" He hurriedly slid his hands back and forth on the ground to wipe away the worst of the blood and suddenly grabbed on to Sinbad's shoulders. "You do have magical talents," he breathed, "Could I wish to be healed?"

The glare Sinbad gave him would have made a lesser man soil himself. Luckily Dimitri's pants were already ruined so there was no need to worry about that. "Don't even think about it. I'm just going to wrap this up properly so you don't bleed to death on the way back."

"And I'm not going to risk dying from infection and subpar medical attention because you people haven't discovered what bacteria are yet!" Dimitri shot back. He squeezed Sinbad's shoulders, looking at the irate captain in the eyes, said as clearly as he could: "I wish that my wound was completely healed."

"No you don't, I order you - !" It happened like magic. Which, strictly speaking, it was. One moment Dimitri was bleeding out onto the rough cobblestones beneath him and the next the slice in his leg had vanished. In fact, it felt like every single ache, bruise, or twinge he'd gained since conception had vanished along with it. Sinbad sat back on his heels, looking a little bit gray in the low light and oddly silent.

Dimitri breathed a huge sigh of relief, his whole body sagging against the wall. He hadn't felt this good in a long while. His muscles filled with new energy and he ran a hand along his leg. The skin was smooth to the touch, albeit covered in blood.

"Sinbad…?" he said quietly, looking up. The silence from his companion was unnerving. He may have crossed a line, he thought, now that he was out of the throes of pain. The Persian rose to his feet and took a couple wobbly steps away before sagging, his hip propped against the opposite wall.

"Don't talk to me."

Dimitri stood up and walked up behind him. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he fumbled over what to say. "Look, I'm sorry," he said lamely, "I wasn't really thinking, it just happened. Hey," he tapped lightly on the wall. "At least you won't have to carry me back to the hiding place."

"Oh yeah, that makes me feel so much better!" Snapped Sinbad, rounding on him, fury etched in his face. "First you trap me in the fucking statue and then you start using me like a toy because you can't handle a paper cut! I'm the captain here, not you. I talk, you listen. That's how things are and if you don't like it – "

He cut himself off. It wasn't like he could banish Dimitri from his ship after all. The next time he was sucked back into that golden prison they'd be right back at square one. Instead he spun around and slammed his fist into the side of the building, instantly skinning all of his knuckles.

Dimitri flinched but otherwise didn't move. He tried his best to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach and foolishly approached Sinbad, close enough that he was within throttling reach. "I didn't mean to—" He stopped, sighed and tried again. "I told you I would find a way to get you out of that statue and I will. Look Sinbad, I'm sorry, alright? I don't what else I can do right now." He swallowed. Gently, his hand moved to rest on Sinbad's shoulder. "If you want, I can apologize some other way." He chuckled nervously, certain that this was not a good idea. But his body was in full form and, coupled with the adrenaline of the chase, Dimitri couldn't deny that he was feeling rather… energetic.

"Like what?" Sinbad asked, still facing the wall while picking bits of plaster out of the open cuts on his hand. He studiously avoided looking at Dimitri, but that was probably so that he wouldn't be tempted to punch his face instead of the wall again.

"Well…" Dimitri licked his lips, letting his hand drift from Sinbad's shoulder down to his chest. "There are things that can't be said in polite company. We wouldn't want the goat to get any ideas."

He gave Sinbad a tentative grin as his hand flitted from one of Sinbad's pecs to the other. If he could just get Sinbad to work off all of that anger, he might get a lighter chore sentence once they were back on the ship.

"Quit feeling me up like a back alley floozy, I'm mad at you." But he didn't push Dimitri's wandering hands away either. He was shaking in reaction to the fight and the wish, and yet he somehow felt cold on the inside, like a little piece of him was missing and he didn't know how to fill in the hole it had left. He told himself that it was the betrayal he felt when Dimitri had disobeyed him, but since he did that almost constantly, Sinbad was pretty sure that wasn't actually it.

"You're always mad at me," Dimitri murmured before his lips pressed down gently onto Sinbad's neck. He let his hands run down Sinbad's stomach before moving to stroke his hips. All the while, he left a trail of small kisses until he reached Sinbad's ear.

"I'll be surprised the day you actually stop complaining about anything I do," he whispered before giving said ear a small bite.

"I'll stop complaining the day you stop giving me things to complain about," the pirate snapped, refusing to lean back against his taller companion. Desire had begun to pool low in his gut, despite the fact that he knew that this was hardly the time or the place for such things. They could be found out any minute or the guards in the haystack could come to. But perhaps he could tolerate Dimitri's affections for just one more minute before he went back to being furious at him…

"I don't know if I can," Dimitri replied earnestly.

He stepped around so that he was now face to face with Sinbad and continued his ministrations. His hands now slid easily around the pirate's back and he ran his short nails along Sinbad's spine. His mouth meanwhile, was grazing against the other man's beard and his tongue darted out for a little lick every once in a while. Dimitri pressed his body closer, savoring the warmth that Sinbad always seemed to radiate (and he would never admit to enjoying every time they slept close together). It was the sort of warmth that enveloped him and burrowed deep into his bones until all he wanted to do was curl up against it. A warmth that had been lacking throughout most of his life.

As he kissed the corner of Sinbad's mouth, Dimitri's eyes caught sight of the goat trotting closer to them, its round eyes staring back, unblinking. He couldn't help but laugh against Sinbad's cheek.

"Not in front of the children," snorted Sinbad, giving the goat a hard glare. But the moment had been lost and he ducked out of Dimitri's embrace to snatch up their stolen goods. It bleated loudly and then settled back into chewing on the piece of strew that was sticking out of its mouth.

"Come on, we have a rendezvous to get to."