"No," the Doctor told her, surprising himself a little. He hadn't intended to stand in her way but he now knew that he would. He was the king of self imposed punishment but she didn't deserve that and he wouldn't let her do it to herself.

"What?" She asked wiping at her face, and it took on a look of defiance that she could have only gotten from her mother. He fought the smile that was trying to rise to the surface but not the thank you that he sent out to the cosmos.

"No, love," he repeated, pulling her gently to the bed and making her sit down. "You are going to tell me whatever it is that is going on in that beautiful brain of yours and then we are going to work through this, do you understand?"

"Of course I understand," she replied, not without sarcasm, but he felt relief that she was fighting back. "I'm a genius, remember."

He allowed a small smile, "I remember. So go on, talk."

"I said I understood, not that I was going to obey," she told him firmly.

He shook his head, forcing himself to push her. This was the only way, even if it made her angry, at least it would be at him and not herself.

"Yes, you will. Because I am your father and you have to do as I say." He was mostly bluffing; though it was true, she was nineteen and rarely listened to him in the first place. Something else she had gotten from her mother.

She raised her eyebrows at him and glared. As long as there was fight in her, he could bring her back to them.

"Now, Grace," he prodded, holding his breath, as he waited. This had to work, because he wasn't going to lose her, and he was going to show her all those people that she saved as soon as he could get her back to her normal self.

She sighed, "Please don't do this, Daddy."

She had to break out the daddy, and he fought back the urge to sweep her into his arms. She could play him like a great big time lord instrument and they both knew it but right now she needed him to be tough.

"Now," he repeated allowing only a trace of softness into his words. "Now, love."

There was a pause in which the TARDIS was offering suggestions to both him and he was certain Grace. And some of them aimed at him weren't very nice, but he knew how fiercely Grace was defended inside these walls.

"I killed them, Dad," she started softly and he looked at her, so thankful that she was trying. "I know I had to, I understand that completely but I did it. I walked by their bodies, and I did that to them."

He didn't try to tell her that it was okay, because it wasn't but he did have to tell her the truth, "It wasn't your fault though. I know…I know…you had the vial but that event was fixed. In two hundred years, they are going to rebuild and they will have a new government, and they will get a second chance."

She knew all this of course, could see it as clearly as he could, but that didn't matter. Sometimes it's the things that we can see that we are most blind to.

"I don't want this, though."

"Don't want what?" He asked but didn't pause for her to answer because he knew. "Don't want to be a killer, because I know that is what you think, but you have never been more wrong Grace."

She glared again, but nodded for him to continue. "Sometimes these awful things have to happen, but they HAVE to happen, and if it wasn't you it still would have happened. I would have walked into that room and done that for you, Grace, you know that. Would you have called me a killer?"

"No," she admitted softly, and the look she gave him melted everything in him once again.

He didn't deserve her love, so pure and unconditional that it made him weak. It was why he worked so hard to be the best man he could be, because for her he wanted to be nothing less.

"No," he agreed. "You wouldn't and you have forgiven me for things that happened before you were born. Things that were worse than this thing you had to do, and Grace I forgive you, even if there is nothing to forgive."

"I know," she nodded and moved closer to him for the first time since he entered the room she was seeking him.

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her cautiously to his chest. Scared of breaking progress.

"So why do you want to leave?"

"I don't forgive me," she told his chest as she buried her head in it.

He moved his head to stroke her beautiful hair and rubbed her back. She was his child through and through and he wanted to tell her how silly that was, but he knew all about it.

"Grace, look at me, please," he asked of her, moving his arms so that she could move and she looked up at him, her eyes so green.

"It hurts," he told her, raising his hand to cup her face. "So bad," he swallowed, knowing he was going to be more honest with her than he probably had ever been before. "And you can't think, or breath and you wonder how you can go on, right?"

"Yes."

"I know," he told her, "I know that pain, and I know what it's like to want to quit. To just walk away and act like this was all just a bad dream, but you know what?"

She shook her head.

"If I would have, then I wouldn't have your mother, and I wouldn't have you. I would have given up the best things that have ever happened to me before they even had a chance to happen."

"I don't want to go, Dad," she told him, dropping her eyes.

"I know," he told her, pulling her back into his embrace. "You are just scared, but Grace you don't run when you are scared. You stand there, and you face it, right?"

She nodded into his chest. She was so brave but this was a different kind of fear and she just needed a little help to learn to be strong for this kind too.

"And you aren't alone in this, no matter how it feels. Now will you come with me, I want to show you something?"

She pulled back again, "I can stay?"

"Forever," he told her and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Come with me?"

She nodded again, and he took her hand. They passed Donna and Jack in the console room but they seemed to understand that this was a moment that needed to just be between a girl and her father.

He opened the door, and hand in hand they stepped out on the closest planet that would have been wiped out if she hadn't dropped the vial.

He had landed them just outside a playground and they didn't speak for a while watching the families walking by and the children playing.

"Grace," he spoke to her softly.

She looked at him and he knew that she would be okay. She just needed the love of the people in her life and she had it.

"These are the ones you need to think about, because you saved them. You can't live your life, not our kind of life, counting the losses. You remember them in their honor but you live your life for the ones you save."

He pulled her to his chest, her head resting between his hearts and he smiled down into her hair. She had saved him, and he had saved her and he was glad to have someone to live for, after all those years.

And every heartache makes you stronger

But it won't be much longer

You'll find love, you'll find peace

And the you you're meant to be

I know right now that's not the way you feel

But one day you will.