I don't think anyone else noticed. To the average eye, they hid it well. They were the closest two in our group, everyone knows that. I mean, they'd lived three houses away from each other their whole lives. Of course they were closer than the rest of us. But I knew there was more to it than just friendship.
Obviously, there was the kiss. They pulled that one off well. Fooling everyone into thinking they hated it. Please, I know when the both of them are lying, and trust me, they were far from being truthful. Even Galileo could see that. Then there was that whole Parent's Night ordeal, when Mrs. Spinelli outed her daughter's crush on "BJ". She covered that one up well too, as everyone saw how psychotic her parents were, they figured she was just crazy and had no idea what she was talking about. TJ's reaction was priceless. Inside, he was dancing. His eye lit up when he heard Spinelli's mom spill the beans.
But besides these obvious things, there are the subtle things. TJ had to come up with a plan to save Spinelli from Finster's, and then it was his idea to never mention it again; for her. He cheered the loudest when she won that beauty pageant, and I'd never seen such a gleam in his eyes quite like when he watched Spinelli dance so elegantly with Mikey on stage. Then there were actions. Always next to each other in our huddles, always high-fiving each other, but no one else. Spinelli was the first to help TJ after he couldn't tie his shoes from being with the kindergarteners for so long. Then there was that time Randall told his father Spinelli was his girlfriend. TJ was so heated. After everything was resolved, he took Randall behind the dodge ball wall.
"Randall!" TJ pinned him up against the wall.
"What'd I do now, Detweiler?"
"Don't you ever, ever," he pushed harder, "tell your parents or anyone else that Spinelli's your girlfriend. She'd never be interested in you."
"Relax, Detweiler, my dad knows I lied."
"I don't care. I don't even wanna hear Spinelli's name come out of your mouth. Got that?"
"Or what?"
"Or I'll tell Miss Finster you're the one who put hot sauce in her soda."
"But that was an accident! I didn't mean it to be for her!" They glared at each other for a while until Randall finally agreed. "Fine."
Vince told me about that one. He said he saw the whole thing. He was really confused because he was upset too, but he didn't think it was necessary to threaten Randall, and about only Spinelli. I told him to shrug it off, but I could see that he became more aware of the growing relationship between the two.
Then there's how TJ is always the first to hold Spinelli back when she tries to fight. And Spinelli has done the same for TJ when he gets the urge to lash out (rarely, but it does happen). And let's not forget when Prickly was leaving us for the middle school job. Everyone else was too preoccupied while we were on the steps of the school, awaiting the new principal to arrive. But I was right behind them; I saw.
"This is it, our last few moments of freedom," Gus said.
"Oh, woe is me!" Mikey shouted.
Spinelli didn't say anything. TJ, also silent, took her hand in his without even glancing at her, lacing their fingers. She took a small step closer to him, neither of them taking their eyes off of the road. He gave her hand a squeeze to let her know that everything would work out, even if he didn't believe it himself. She sighed in response. Vince, standing next to me, had to do a double take. "Gretch," he nudged me, nodding toward their hands.
"They're just scared," I defended them, not wanting Vince to embarrass them.
"Well so are we but I'm not grabbing your hand," he whispered. I just shrugged. Recess was where everything happened between TJ and Spinelli, and it was about to be ruined. If you thought about it, it was actually understandable.
Then there's the times when Spinelli is later than usual. TJ won't relax until Spinelli arrives, even if he's late himself.
"Come on, Teej, I'm sure she'll be here. We gotta get to class before Miss Grotke gives us tardies," Vince would say.
"I hope she's Ok," TJ would reply, still looking around for her.
"She probably stayed up too late watching wrestling and woke up late," Gus would suggest. Finally, we would see Spinelli sprinting down the sidewalk, out of breath, and you could see a wave of relief pass over TJ.
"She's here, can we go inside now?" Vince would ask, and we'd all follow him into the school.
"You know you guys don't have to wait for me, I can find my way to the classroom," Spinelli joked, jabbing TJ in the side.
"TJ won't let us go in without you," Vince would mutter. TJ would blush and Spinelli would chuckle.
"Thanks, Teej," she would smile genuinely, and the two would lock eyes. And that's how it went, every time.
"Gretch, could I talk to you?" Vince came up to me one day when I had stayed after school to finish some work.
"Of course, Vince, what's up?"
"You know how you're a genius and everything?"
"I would hardly call myself a genius, but thank you."
"You know what I mean, Gretch," Vince sighed. "What do you know about love?"
"Not much. I mean I've researched it and everything, but I've never experienced it. And it's quite hard to learn about something so simple yet so complex without experiencing it yourself."
"Yeah, I guess…"
"What's wrong? Do you find yourself experiencing feelings similar to that of love?"
"What? Uh, no…It's not me. I don't think."
"I'm sorry, I don't follow."
"Do you think TJ and Spinelli are in love?" he blurted out.
"Vince, I would hardly call any kind of fourth grade relationship love."
Vince rolled his eyes. "Come on, Gretch. We already know Spinelli's a boy liker. I think she has a crush on TJ, and I think he feels the same."
I sighed. "Honestly, I do think they feel something toward each other more than what normal friends feel, such as the way you would toward Spinelli, or how I feel toward Mikey or Gus, you know? But then again, they've always been the closest…"
"But they never used to hold hands," he muttered, bitterly.
"Vince…Do you…"
"Do I what?"
"Do you like Spinelli?"
"What? No! I'm only in fourth grade, Gretch!"
"Vince…" I urged. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I don't know. She's just so cool, ya know for a girl. I don't know. But I mean, TJ said it himself, she's first string on his team."
"I suppose he did say that…"
"Being a fourth grader isn't all it's cracked up to be," he sighed. "All because of that stinkin' feeling."
"Yes," I sighed too. "That stinkin' feeling indeed."
"Have you ever felt it?" Vince suddenly asked.
"I believe I did once."
"What did you do about it?"
"Nothing. I knew the other person did not feel the same."
"That womps, Gretch. Do you think there's a chance Spin could like me? I mean, we're gonna be in fifth grade soon. Things can change, right?"
"I don't know, Vince. I guess it's possible."
Vince sighed. "Well, I don't know. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for talking to me."
"Anytime, Vince," I replied as he walked out of the room.
"Oh and Gretch?" he popped his head back in the doorway.
"Yeah?"
"That guy you had feelings for? He's an idiot if he doesn't feel the same. See ya." Yes, Vince, an idiot indeed.
"And then my mom said she'd stick me at Finster's again if I couldn't find a friend's house to stay over," Spinelli looked up hopefully. "Gretch?"
"I'm sorry, Spinelli, I got in trouble for exploding one of my experiments and I'm not allowed to have friends over for a week."
"Any other takers?"
"You can stay at my house, Spin," TJ offered. Vince immediately locked eyes with me.
"Really?" she jumped up.
"Yeah, my mom loves you."
"Thanks, Teej, you're the best!" Spinelli hugged TJ, who almost lifted her off her feet. He'd always be there for her. This was only the beginning.
Let's skip ahead to high school. Summer right after senior year. Spinelli and TJ still hadn't admitted their feelings toward one another and had actually gone out with other people from time to time. Vince was on and off with Ashley Q., though he still kind of liked Spinelli, he just knew he couldn't do anything about it. I still hadn't had a boyfriend, obviously. Anyway, one weekend I was hanging out with everyone at Kelso's, minus Spinelli, who was on a date, when TJ got a call.
"Teej," Spinelli sobbed into the phone, and TJ immediately stood up and walked to where we couldn't hear him. Galileo could though, that's how I know the conversation.
"What's wrong, Spin?" he asked, more concerned than ever.
"Can you come pick me up?" she choked back another sob.
"Of course, where are you?"
"Ashley A's party."
"I'll be right there."
"Thanks, Teej," she cried and hung up. TJ came back to the table and grabbed his keys.
"Was that Spinelli?"
"Uh yeah, she uh thinks she left the stove on at home and wants me to go turn it off. I'll see you guys tomorrow." With that, he was out the door.
"Was she crying?" Gus asked the rest of us.
"Maybe she just has a cold," Mikey suggested.
"Yeah," Vince scoffed. "A cold."
TJ sped to Ashley A's mansion and got out of the car. Calling Spinelli's cell phone, he walked into the party.
"I'm here, Babe, where are you?"
"I'm in the bathroom on the first floor. You go left and go all the way down the hall." He followed her instructions and knocked on the door. Spinelli came out and TJ immediately hugged her.
"Let's go," TJ intertwined their fingers and led her to the car. She didn't say anything, and TJ knew she couldn't sneak past her parents this drunk, so he drove to the park and they sat in the car.
"Thanks," Spinelli sniffed, leaning her head against the window.
"What happened?" TJ asked.
"I'm an idiot."
"No you're not, Spin."
"No, I am. I really thought he liked me."
"What did Gordie do to you?" TJ turned fully so he was facing his best friend. She turned to him.
"He said he liked me, bla bla bla, brought me to the party, and this is like the fifth time we've been out, and we were kissing, and I went to get another beer, and the next thing I know I see him making out with Upside-down Girl before they stumbled into a bedroom."
"I've always hated that kid."
"You only hated him 'cause he didn't like you."
"Which is the first sign that you know someone's not right in the head," TJ joked, making Spinelli laugh. "What was that? Was that a laugh?" TJ asked.
"Maybe," Spinelli smiled, before frowning again. "Then Lawson, who was drunk out of his mind, starting hitting on me," Spinelli explained, as TJ's fists balled. "And-and I was so mad at Gordie that I…" she trailed off.
"What did you do with Lawson?"
"We didn't have sex. He wanted to. We did everything but that…Then he got mad when I wouldn't have sex with him and he said I was 'Spin-ugly' anyway and I always would be. That's when I called you."
"I can't believe this." TJ turned his head to look out the window.
"I'm sorry."
"Out of all people, you got with Gordie, who I've never gotten along with, and fucking Lawson, my worst enemy?"
"Teej, I'm sorry," Spinelli's tears started again and she put her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off. "Teej, come on. How many times have you hooked up with Ashley A? You know I hate her."
"Twice, I hooked up with her twice. All we did was make out, sober might I add, and we decided it wouldn't work out." He had never been so angry. There was a long silence after that.
"Do you hate me?" Spinelli asked.
"No, Spin."
"Yes you do. I'm sorry I made you pick me up. Spin-ugly will never do it again," she said as she opened the door to get out.
"Spin, stop-" TJ said, but it was unnecessary because as soon as she got out of the car she threw up all over the parking lot. TJ winced and got out of the car to help her on the other side. "You Ok?" he patted her back once she was finished. She nodded. "Can you hold it 'til we make it back to my house?" She nodded again and they got back in the car.
"I'm sorry," Spinelli whispered when they were almost to TJ's.
"No, I'm sorry for yelling at you. You called me to help you and I've just been an asshole."
"I deserve a lot worse."
"No you don't. Come on, we're here." He led her into his house and to the upstairs bathroom just in time for her to puke again.
"You can go to bed, you don't have to watch me puke."
"I'm not going to bed until you go to bed."
"Teej, seriously, I know you're tired."
"Spin, just let me take care of you, Ok? This is never gonna happen again. Let me do it just this once," he pleaded, offering her a glass of water.
"Thanks. You really are the best." Spinelli sat with her head near the toilet for a little while longer before she figured she was done.
"You done?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Come on," he led the stumbling girl to his bedroom. He went to his closet to grab sweatpants and a t-shirt, and she immediately fell on the bed. "Spin, you Ok?" he asked when he turned around.
"So tired," she mumbled into his sheets.
"Here, sit up," he helped her. "You gotta change out of those jeans and your shirt has beer all over it."
"You don't like my clothes, Teej?" Spinelli drunkenly joked, barely awake.
TJ laughed. "They're sexy, but you can't sleep in them."
"Mmkay," Spinelli let TJ stand her up.
"Should…should I do it?" he asked facing her.
"Just like a bikini, Teej," she said sleepily. TJ pulled Spinelli's shirt over her head, revealing a blue bra with a tiny bow by the cleavage. Trying not to stare, he put one of his shirts over her head and she laid back on his bed. "Spin, we still gotta change your jeans." Spinelli unbuttoned them in response, leaving TJ to pull them off. He helped her into his sweatpants and put her under the covers.
"The garbage is right next to you if you need to throw up, Ok?" TJ informed her, getting into the other side of the bed.
"Love ya, Teej."
"Love you too, Spin."
"Fuck," Spinelli said when the sun streamed through the windows, making her headache worse. TJ was still passed out, his hair a mess and him only in his boxers. She took a moment to collect her thoughts and remembered the events of the night before. TJ was such a good friend. There was no way she could ever make it up to him.
She looked over at her friend. He still had his freckles and boyish charm. He was still good old TJ. And she loved that. No matter how much she changed, she knew he would always be the same. She turned on her side and cuddled up to her best friend, putting her arm around his stomach and resting her head on his chest.
"Spin?" TJ woke up. "How are you feelin'?"
"You're the best, Teej," she responded, ignoring his question.
"I know," he grinned and put his arm around her.
"I'm really sorry, Teej."
"Spin, don't be sorry. You know I'd do anything for you."
"I know." Spin sighed and looked into TJ's eyes, searching.
"You Ok?" He stroked her hair.
"I just…"
"Teej, I been callin' you all night, what-" Vince threw open the door to TJ's room and stopped at what he saw. "The fuck."
"Oh, hey, Vince, heh heh," TJ laughed nervously. Spinelli got off TJ and rolled back to her side of the bed.
"Did you guys have-"
"No!" they yelled together.
"It kind of looks like you guys had-"
"No, we didn't, I promise!" TJ said.
"You guys totally did!"
"Vince, look at my face. Do I look like I just had sex?" TJ asked seriously.
"No, I guess not. But you might wanna put some clothes on, the guys are downstairs."
"Is he up yet?" Gus called up from the bottom of the stairs.
"And it sounds like they're on their way up," Vince crossed his arms.
"Well, tell them I'll be down once I get changed."
Vince looked at his two best friends in bed with each other. "I thought you said she forgot to turn off the stove?"
"Vince, could you please just go keep them occupied so they don't see us and think something happened when really nothing did?" Spinelli begged.
"Are you gonna tell me what happened?" Vince stood his ground. Footsteps were heard coming up the stairs.
"Vince just do it Ok she doesn't need to tell you anything," TJ demanded.
"What's taking so long?" Gus was in the hallway.
"Yes, now go!" Spinelli whispered harshly and Vince went out of the room and shut the door behind him just in time.
"He'll be down soon he's just gonna get changed," they heard Vince tell Gus and lead him downstairs.