A/N: Here is the requested Chapter. Sorry I have been really busy and this challenge has helped me a lot. Keep them coming.
~ Rachel POV ~
Dear Sweet Journal,
Entry # 1:
What a fucked up past few months I've had. At first, I lost my wife and my best friend is dying. This shit just isn't fair. What am I going to tell my kids? Summer break is almost over which they will be coming home soon. I shipped them off my best friend Aaron and his husband Michaels house. They have twins a boy and a girl and my kids love spending time with them. And to be honest when Aaron asked if I needed anything, I jumped at the chance. I love my kids to death, but I needed a break. They left knowing their passed way. I held them as they cried at her funeral. How the hell do I explain that now when they come back, their favorite auntie Brittany is dying? Fuck, Fuck, Fuck My Life!
Santana is another story. I barely saw her, but I understood though. Everything on Brittany's list she made sure came true. I know it was killing her inside. But at least she can prepare herself as best she could. She can say goodbye. What about me? I felt like my legs were cut out from under me. I was robbed of my saying goodbye. I was robbed of my closure.
Now Brittany is saying she want me to be with her wife and have raise our children together. She want to me the other mother to their child. Lord only knows that I would do anything for them. If she wants to be the other mother to their child. Then I'm all game for it. But actually being with Santana romantically? That's a bit of a stretch. I love Santana that is nothing new, but I don't know if I could cross that line.
Quinn please help me out here! You know what no...I'm still mad at you. I get it okay, you wanted to save those kids lives and I am so grateful that you did. I mean yeah at first I was bitter, but those kids didn't ask to be born. They shouldn't have their lives taken from them over a jack ass with no balls and spineless mother ... Okay, so maybe I'm still a little raw about it.. But it just hurts when I look at our old video's and realize that your never coming back. A part of my soul died when you were taken from me.
How am I suppose to be with Santana when my heart still hurts for you Quinn. I want to honor Brittany's wishes, but I feel like I'm betraying you. I know it's weird. But you were my soulmate since day one. Yeah I dated Finn, Jesse and Puck briefly but no one has ever captured my heart like you did. Quinn if only you knew how much I cried, every time I look at a the calendar and realized Dec 17th is coming up soon and I will be spending our wedding anniversary alone for the first time.
If being with Santana is what you Quinn, please give me a sign of some sorts.. Even if I do get a sign, nothing will happen for a very long time. We have to get to know each other on another level. It might not even work. We might just be better off as friends. I guess only time will tell huh?
My therapist was right, writing down my feelings really helped me. I feel so much better, now that I got that all out.
See you later,
-Rachel Fabray
~ End of Journal Entry ~
~ Quinn's POV - In Heaven ~
Louis just got off of work and I down with classes at the moment. While I was waiting for him, so we could get something to eat and catch up, because I've been so busy with school and Louis with work that we had Zero time to for best friend time. So while waiting for him, I decided to check on Rachel in the Rec Room which is open for anyone to view their love ones. It has 20 TV's with headphones attached. So, I slipped them on and checked in on Rachel. It honestly broke my heart. I know I don't have one because I'm dead and all, but it really hurt me to see her in so much pain.
I asked JC the eta on Brittany and he said 8 weeks, 5 days, 7 hours, 24 minutes and 12 seconds. I was excited see Brittany again, but I also felt sad for Rachel, Brttany and my kids. You ever got the chance to meet Brittany, you are lucky. She makes everything better.
I feel a touch on my shoulder and it's Louis. I log out and put the headphones back and stood up and gave Louis a hug.
"Hey Q, sorry it took so long, I had to..." He cut himself off and just stared at me.
"What's wrong?"
"Rachel."
"What about her? Oh My God she isn't the new arrival in 8 weeks is she?"
"No, remember that's Brittany?"
"Oh yeah, I feel really bad for forgetting."
"It's cool, no worries."
"You say no worries and all I see in your eyes is worry. What's going on Q? You know you can tell me anything."
"I know."
"So..."
"It's Rachel... She's having a hard time with my passing and she can't connect with Santana if she feels guilty about betraying me."
"How would she betray you?"
"That's what I'm saying ... or at least I thought I was saying...God help me, I don't know anymore." Then a voice appeared...
"Well Quinn it seems like Rachel is conflicted. She wants to honor Brittany's wishes and but she doesn't want to disrespect your memory. She loves you with her whole heart and hard to gave another the same time, energy and love. Plus she feels guilty, because she had a crush on Santana back in Freshmen year of high school. Even at a party thrown by Kyle Myers the Quarterback at the time. Rachel arrived late. The party was in full swing. You were talking to Noah Puckerman. Santana and Brittany were dancing and until she seen Rachel and offered to get her a drink."
"Are you saying that Santana and Rachel were supposed to be together?"
"Actually yes. It was supposed to be Santana and Rachel and you and Brittany.. But fate has it way of showing someone heart. Rachel and you fell in love and Brittany and Santana fell in love."
"Didn't you create "fate"?"
"Actually I didn't. Fate has always been around. It was brings hope and faith together? Was fate that you Brittany are going to end up in heaven together, leaving Santana and Rachel on earth together? No, fate doesn't work that way people seem to think that when things go right it's Fate or when things go wrong it's Karma. Sometimes things just happens because that's how I wrote it."
"Am supposed to end up with Brittany?"
"I can't answer that. You must work that out for yourself."
"But you know ALL."
"Indeed I do, but what fun would it be to tell you everything that's going to happen? I am not going to do that and don't ask my son either. I will know and I might have delay Brittany's arrival."
"You mean she can live longer?"
"No I meant maybe spending a few hours in Hell or the in between."
"I promise I won't ask."
"I'm only joking Quinn. I would never seen an innocent person to Hell for no reason. Now you on the other hand, I wouldn't mind sending if you broke the rules. But seriously I designed this place to mirror earth. Live and love if it's with Brittany then great, but it's with some other Angel then that's okay too. Just live and explore and have fun. Trust me knowing everything really does suck at times, because it ruins the element of surprise."
"When is your birthday?"
"I don't have one. I created everything."
"Pick a day and we will celebrate it every single year. It will be your day."
"But..."
"Please?"
"August 15, 0000."
"Okay, that's in 1 month, so when that day comes we are going to celebrate it."
"I know."
"We'll pretend that you don't know. And we will have fun."
"Okay, let's give it a shot."
"Great."
"I got to go." God disappears.
"Hey JC." Jesus appears.
"What's up Q."
"Q?"
"Yeah were friends so I will call you Q."
"Okay, so your dad's birthday is coming up and we are going to though him a party."
"He doesn't have a birthday."
"Well we created him one. It's about time that God has a day just for him and I don't mean Sunday. Each year on August 15th we will celebrate your days birthday. Your birthday is December 25th Christmas Day. And we will celebrate that day as well. You dad could feel a little underappreciated and to honest does he reason to feel that way?"
"I never really thought about it like that. It only makes sense. How do we surprise the man that knows everything? Even things before they happen?"
"He said he would pretend to not know anything about what we are planning on that day."
"Sounds like a plan, but you seem a tad upset. I can read your energy. I appreciate what you did for my father. Q you have a way of making people feel special. What's going on?"
"I was waiting for Louis to get off work, since I was done with my classes and I thought we could have lunch. As I was waiting, I wanted to check up on Rachel. Just to see how she was doing and I overheard her writing in her journal. It helps her to deal with my death. We can't move on with the plan to get Santana and Rachel together, because Rachel feels guilty and she wants me to send her a sign."
"Why do you want them together so badly. I know you told me why before, but I'm have a feeling that there is much more to it. Then you are letting on."
"I don't want them to be alone and if they like each other, then they should be together."
"What are you not telling me?"
"Okay, even though I love Rachel and my kids with everything in me, I can't shake what your father told me."
"What did my dad say?"
"I thought you knew everything."
"I know what every person is thinking or talking about. My father is off limits. I have no clue what he be thinking or talking about."
"He told me that I wasn't suppose to be with Rachel. I was supposed to be with Brittany and Rachel with Santana. I just feel like I derailed her life. I know God was saying that we were meant to be together and we were happy together and I do love her…"
"But? Come on you're doing so good."
"But what if Santana was her soulmate."
"Santana and Rachel were written to be together, but she fell in love with you. She had your kids. She married you. She made her choice and she has never been happier. Yes, she had a crush on Santana and secretly wanted to be with her. But when you showed interest in her and she saw Brittany and Santana fall in love, she moved on. She knew she could never be with her. So, she moved on and found her true soulmate. That's you Q."
"So, what you're saying is that she settled for me? That she realized that she couldn't have the person she wanted, so she just went to the next best thing?" I said with tears in my eyes.
"No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that she loves you."
"You know everything JC. You don't make mistakes. That's how she felt and now I know that I should get her to her true love. The woman she was written for." Louis walks up and says,
"Hey, Q I'm so sorry that I'm late. I had more work than I anticipated...What did I miss?"
"I'm going home. I'm not hungry anymore. I'll see you later." I walked off before anyone could say anything. Now I have questions. Was I a mistake? Was everything we had a mistake?
"Quinn, my son may have worded it wrong, and trust me I know all. Rachel loves you. Just because, the 14-year-old version had feelings for Santana, doesn't you was meant for her. They could have dated and then broke up when they met you and Santana. It's funny how things work out. You and Rachel were fighting for Finn, when actuality you both had secret feelings for one another."
"You're right. I was being stupid. I don't know why I was feeling like maybe what we had was a mistake or something."
"Did you love her?"
"Yes."
"Did you love you kids."
"Yes of course."
"Those years you spent with Rachel was not a waste. Now it's time for Rachel to be happy with the next best thing. She will be with someone that will make her as happy as you did. They will forever be grateful to Brittany for setting them up. Brittany will be happy up hear with you."
"Brittany and I will be together?"
"I didn't say that. I said she will be happy up here with you."
"I see."
"Yeah and you need to go into Rachel's dreams. Let her know it's okay to feel what she's feeling for Santana."
"I'll do that anything else?"
"Yes, you need to speak to Brittany again…She has a month left."
"Okay, I'll get on it. Thanks for explaining that to me."
"No, problem." God disappeared and I back to the rec room and found Louis sitting chatting some girl.
"Hey man can we talk for a second?"
"Yeah, I catch you later okay?" The girl nodded and walked away.
"So, I hear that flying lessons are next week. Are you excited?"
"Yes I am. But I need your help on how to jump into dreams."
"Okay, it's really simple. Here follow me." We walked into the dreamer room.
"Now say I wish to fly inside the dreams of …Then you would say the person's name and off you go."
"Okay, I wish to fly inside the dreams of Rachel Fabray." Suddenly, I am picked up and sucked through a tv screen.
~ Rachel's POV Dream Land ~
Quinn is getting dressed in her EMT uniform. Looking good as usual. I'm getting ready for tonight. It's the Tony Awards.
"Damn baby you look so good right now." Quinn said to me licking her lips.
"Thanks. I love you in your EMT uniform."
"I know!" I flex my muscles for her.
"I want you so bad right now!"
"Baby I got to go to work soon, I can't have my energy drained."
"Can I give you head instead then?"
"I really need to be 100% focus on this job."
"I need you inside me somehow."
"Okay, but it has to be quick." Quinn loosen her belt and drop her pants and boxers. She sit down on the bed and raises my dress up after removing my panties. I lower myself down onto her dick and begins to ride her.
"Wow you feel so good baby."
"You do too." Quinn said as I start riding her faster and faster.
"Oh baby, yes ... Holy don't stop baby."
"I won't." Quinn thrust upwards into me hard.
"Yes, just like that baby." Quinn move at jack hammer speed, just pounding into me from the bottom. I stop riding her and lets her just pound into me. I throw my head back and then I pushed Quinn back on the bed and ride her so fucking fast. I'm sure she can feel my tightening around her dick. in my stomach.
"Are you there baby?"
"Yes...Oh my God yes." Seconds later Quinn burst so hard into me. I close my eyes and bite down on my lip to keep me from screaming out her name as I all over her dick.
"Wow that was amazing."
"Yeah it was. What time is it?
"3:37 pm."
"I have to hurry and take another shower and get redressed."
"Okay, when do you get off work?"
"2:00am" With that said Quinn jumped back in the shower and washed up. She jumped out and got redressed. After I did the same, now I was doing my hair and makeup.
"Okay, I wish you were coming to tonight."
"As do I, but I have to save lives. It's my job and I love doing it."
"I know baby now go on and get something to eat before you go."
"I will and baby rock that red carpet and bring home those awards."
"I'll try my best. I just hope I did this role justice."
"You did baby." I give her a kiss on the lips.
"Where are the kids?" I asked.
"They are with Santana at the park."
"Oh well kiss my babies for me and I'll see you tonight."
"Bye baby I love you and have a good day."
"I love you too and you are made for these awards. You got this baby, I know it. I have to go now okay." The door opens back up and Quinn comes back through it.
"I don't know what I was thinking about, I can go to work tomorrow. Tonight, is about you."
"Really, thank you so much." I ran over and gave her a hug.
"Rachel, I want you to know that I am fine. Okay, I know you feel guilty about moving on with Santana, but it's okay, I know you love me and I will never forget you or the love we shared. It time to open that big heart and let someone else in, so they could discover what I always knew. You are so special and it's time to share that with someone else. It may take time, but do understand that I love you and I want you to be happy. If that's with Santana then go for it. I know you had a crush on her in freshmen of high school and that's okay, because you guys are going to need each other." Suddenly, my dream changes to Quinn laying in a casket. She looks up at me and says,
"I'm okay Rachel, everything is going to be fine. I sent someone to help you move on."
"I don't know what to move on." I said through my tears.
"I know baby and trust me I would be there if I could. I had to save those kids."
"It's not fair! What about your kids? Why do they get to be heartbroken?"
"I know its not fair, but letting two kids die for nothing isn't something I could love with. You have known me for far too long to know I couldn't let that happen. I am sorry you're hurting, but everything is going to be okay. Promise me when the time comes and you meet someone or realize that you see Santana as more than a friend, that you will open your heart to love and let her in…100%. Tell my kids I love and will miss them forever." Quinn closes her eyes and lays back in the casket.
Everything is dark now, I guess it's time for me to wake up. Ugh, another day with Quinn.
~ End of Dream ~
I wake up in my bed just as Brittany walks in.
"Oh, you're up? I was hoping that I didn't wake you. I just wanted to borrow your camra. Santana and I are going to Paris next week for a few days, because I always wanted to check out the Eiffel Tower."
"I have no problem with that. But can I talk to you about something?" I said sitting up.
"Sure."
"I had my normal where I am getting dress for the Tony Awards and Quinn is getting dressed for work. We have sex, she leaves and comes back and go to the Tony Awards together. This time when she comes back, she said something that she never said before and trust me I have been having the same dream since Quinn died. This was different."
"What happened?"
"She said, "Rachel, I want you to know that I am fine. Okay, I know you feel guilty about moving on with Santana, but it's okay, I know you love me and I will never forget you or the love we shared. It time to open that big heart and let someone else in, so they could discover what I always knew. You are so special and it's time to share that with someone else. It may take time, but do understand that I love you and I want you to be happy. If that's with Santana then go for it. I know you had a crush on her in freshmen of high school and that's okay, because you guys are going to need each other." Then suddenly, my dream changed to Quinn laying in a casket. She woke up and looked at me and said,
"I'm okay Rachel, everything is going to be fine. I sent someone to help you move on."
"I don't know what to move on." I told her through my tears.
"I know baby and trust me I would be there if I could. I had to save those kids."
"It's not fair! What about your kids? Why do they get to be heartbroken?"
"I know it's not fair, but letting two kids die for nothing isn't something I could love with. You have known me for far too long to know I couldn't let that happen. I am sorry you're hurting, but everything is going to be okay. Promise me when the time comes and you meet someone or realize that you see Santana as more than a friend, that you will open your heart to love and let her in…100%. Tell my kids I love and will miss them forever." Quinn closes her eyes and lays back in the casket. Then I woke up and that's all that happened."
"Maybe Quinn was so worried about you, that she sent you a message or a sign that she is okay."
"What about the stuff about Santana? You can't be okay with this?"
"I would choose not to die, if I could. But Santana is going to have a very hard with my death. She hides her emotions through anger. She will lash out and say things…Hurtful things that she doesn't mean. You must stay with her and keep telling her that you're not leaving her side. You both are so special and you will need each other."
"I'll try is I can say."
"And that's all I ask. I just want you guys to happy and I really believe that you would be happy together."
"You think it was Quinn sending me a message in my dream?"
"Yeah I really do. Quinn wouldn't want you to waste that big heart of yours. You have so much to give. Let her in when the time comes and I promise you won't regret it."
"Quinn said the same. Have you spoke to Santana about this?"
"Yes, and she said she would try after hours of talking about it. You two are so stubborn."
"We just don't want to disrespect your relationship or Quinn's memory. Do I love Santana? Yes she's been my best friend for years. What if after all that work you put into us and we don't work as a couple?" Santana walks in.
"Guess what I don't need you anyways. You were right we won't fit as a couple, because you are to got damn annoying."
"Santana, she never said anything like that. She was voice some concerns she had. If I'm not mistaken it was the same concerns you had. What if we don't work as a couple? What is she doesn't like me?"
"You don't need to be begging someone to be with me. I am fine on my own. I am pregnant, my wife is dying and she wants to set me up with the hobbit."
"As if I don't have it hard too, I am a single mother of two kids, my wife died 3 months ago, I keep having this dream, that makes not want to wake up. I have kids to take care of. I getting more contracts that requires me to work long hours. My best friend is dying and she is trying to set me up with her wife, so she and I won't have to be alone. I said I would try and try I will. But if you aren't going to meet me half way then fuck it and fuck you Santana. This isn't high school anymore, where you can just call me out my name and I let it go."
"Fuck me? No, fuck you! I can't believe Brittany want to set me up with you."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU ARE BOTH SELFISH! I AM THE THAT'S DYING…ME! DO YOU THINK I WANT TO SET UP MY WIFE WITH MY BEST FRIEND?"
"B…"
"DON'T YOU B ME SANTANA! HOW DARE YOU TREAT HER LIKE THAT. SHE IS SCARED JUST LIKE YOU ARE. YOU ARE BOTH GOING TO BE SINGLE PARENTS."
"Stop yelling please."
"It seems like it's the only way you would listen to me. I just want you to be happy and taken care of. Don't burn the bridge you to have left…each other. Okay, so if you try the couple thing and it doesn't work and you realize you are better off as friends. Do you really want to not be in each other's lives? Go for months or years without talking?"
"No." We said in union.
"Then stop fighting. I'm saying you have to get together right or even after I die. All I'm saying is don't rule it out… I'm going to lay down." Brittany said as she left the room.
"I'm sorry Santana, but you can't keep snapping at me. I'm under enough stress as is."
"I know I just feel like I'm drowning and no matter how hard I try…I can't reach the surface."
"That's why I'm here Santana. I will help you reach the surface. All you have to do is let me help you. I won't allow you to drown Santana. I care enough about you to try and save you from yourself."
"I'm a bitch Rachel. I was only decent for all those years because of Brittany. I am about to lose my lifeline. I can't destroy our friendship, by trying to be a coupe."
"I don't want that either, but we owe it to Brittany and ourselves to at least see if there's anything between us."
"When the time comes, I guess we should we must agree to talk to each other."
"I agree."
"I'll see you later."
"For sure."
~ Quinn POV ~
"Well you did it. How do you feel?"
"Relieved. I don't want her to get hurt, so setting her up our best friend is the best solution."
"If you say so."
"Louis what is it?"
"Nothing…" He laughs as he leaves the room. I run after him demanding to know what was so funny.
"What was so funny?"
"Well Quinn you see…"
A/N: Here is the chapter update requested. Thanks for the subscribe Isaiah Framez. What do you want to see happen next? What do you think will happen? Please read and review.
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