A/N I'll try and keep things brief here, so you can get to the story. I'll have some more notes afterwards.

First, thanks to Eddy13 for beta checking this chapter, and all the ones that follow; I tried to keep him busy.

Despite all the stories surrounding Zorpox, as a villain, he wasn't any more success than anyone else; in fact, Drakken probably came closer to taking over the world in 'So the Drama'. Despite all this, I still have a fascination with him, and it probably all goes back to the quote below. This quote is basically the theme of the story.

Hego: What happened to him?

Shego: I think he's evil now.

Hego: Oh. How bad could that be?

Shego: You'd be...surprised.

(Stop Team Go)

Chapter 1: Chef Boy

(Tuesday Evening)

In a huge fortress, on some forgotten island in the Caribbean, a blue man was mumbling to himself. That man was Dr. Drakken, the evil mastermind behind countless plots to take over the world. With the help of his henchmen, he'd just finished cleaning his lair from his last plan-the destruction of his newest super weapon had cause a catastrophic feedback loop that had destroyed most of the lab. Now he was trying to devise another brilliant plan-hopefully a plan without one of his normally tiny flaws that escalate into a terrible disaster.

"Mind control...no I just got a bunch of old people. And...Shego is that the mail?"

Shego had just walked in carrying a bunch of letters and a couple of magazines. She tossed the letters to Dr. Drakken and started flipping through the magazines looking for anything interesting. Oooh, Villain Digest; let's see, any good articles? Shego sat down and started reading, tossing the rest of the magazines near Drakken.

Dr Drakken started grabbing letters from the pile. "Bills, bills, bills, Shego these are all bills; isn't there anything else here?"

Shego grabbed one letter and looked at it tiredly, then tossed it away. "Some are much worse than bills, Dr D; that one's from your mom."

"Mother?" Dr Drakken asked. He reached out and grabbed the letter, opened it, and read it. After he finished, he agreed with Shego. He crumpled the letter and tossed it toward the fireplace. Shego reacted quickly and grabbed it before it fell in. She opened the letter and started to read out loud before Drakken could try to get it back.

"'Dear Drewbie,'" Shego snickered and kept reading, "'I just wanted to ask how your radio station was doing, are you helping lots of people?'" Shego couldn't believe that this woman could be so dense sometimes. Of course, that's probably where Drakken got his obliviousness from.

"Shego, give it back."

"And what about that nice lady wearing the green clothes, have you been doing any dating?" The villainess almost felt like gagging. Date? Him? I'd rather be fed to sharks...on second thought, I'd rather feed him to sharks.

"Shego, this isn't funny."

Shego continued. "'It's because you're so thin, you haven't been eating right since you started living on your own. I told you that you weren't ready.'" She eyes the doctor critically, wondering just how long he had been living without his mother. A slow smile spread on her face.

Drakken turned away, embarrassed.

"I think that you need to get in another line of work, because I never hear of anything you do, you don't seem to be getting any recognition." Shego grinned to herself-Drakken's mom must not watch the news much.

Her employer just glared angrily at her.

"Call me sometime, you always seem to be so busy." The letter finished with 'Love, Mom.'

During the entire reading of the letter, Drakken had been trying to snatch it from Shego. Now she let him have it, and smirked as he quickly threw it into the fire.

"So, Drewbie" Shego said sarcastically, "What's your next big plan?"

Drakken pouted. "After that, I'm not going to tell you."

"You don't have a plan, do you." It wasn't a question.

"Grrr, Shego, I'm the evil genius, you're the sidekick. You let me come up with the plans." Drakken tried to look like he had a brilliant plan. Shego just looked unconvinced.

"Fine, I don't have a plan, alright!" Drakken threw his hands in the air. "Do you have a plan?"

"Hey, I'm 'just the sidekick.' You don't pay me enough to come up with plans." Shego went back to reading.

Dr Drakken knew she wasn't going to say anything more on the subject, so he went back to the mail. He picked up a magazine on Super Weapons and Evil Inventions and started to flip through it. Maybe he could use some of the ideas in the magazine to get his mind working on another evil plan. He started calling out things to see what Shego thought.

"Cloning?"

"Never, ever."

"Doomsday Decimator?"

"Kimmie blew up your space station before you could use it."

"Drakk Force One?"

"That one was so bad, the buffoon beat you."

"Laser Drill?"

"The cheese in the building clogged up the cannon."

"Hmmm, Mega Weather Generator-I never did one of those, but it sounds familiar." Drakken tried to remember; so many of his plans had backfired that all of these inventions were starting to blend together.

"That was the one that 'Zorpox' made, remember? Kimmie stopped it just like everything else."

"Wait, Shego, wait. Maybe instead of an invention, I need some outside help." Drakken grinned, realizing he had an idea.

"Outside help? Yeah, last time that happened you ended up owing Duff Killigan a private island." Shego smirked at that memory.

Drakken tried to defend himself. "Killigan put that part of the contract in under my nose and worded it strangely."

"It said 'I, Drakken, will give Killigan an island for services rendered, whether or not I take over the world.'"

"There was a smudge on the paper-I thought it said 'will not give.' At least it didn't specify how big the island had to be." Now Drakken smiled. Killigan had been less than pleased with his island in a snow globe.

"No, Shego, not Killigan. I think I need someone smarter, someone who has come much closer to winning against Kim Possible; I need...Zorpox." Drakken waited for Shego's sarcastic comment.

Instead, she paled. "Drakken, no. Not Zorpox, he's insane-there's no way you can control him."

"You just let me figure that out, Shego."

X X X X

Kim and Ron walked into Bueno Nacho later that evening, tired and hungry after stopping Drakken's latest plan. They walked to the counter, surprised to see Ned so late at night. Ron frowned. "Ned, what are you doing here? Didn't your shift end almost three hours ago?"

The assistant manager shook his head. "No, I'm on the night shift now. Management thought it would be a good idea for me to be familiar with the night crowd as well."

"Right..." Ron nodded, his memories of working at the restaurant coming back. "Okay, I'll have five Caseritos, and Kim'll have..."

"A salad." She cut him off, smirking.

Ron turned to her, incredulous. "A salad? What makes you think they even sell salads this late at night?"

"Um, actually Ron, we do...but we're out of Caseritos." Ned spoke hesitantly.

"What! No Caseritos? KP," he whined, "I was all ready for Caseritos." He turned back to Ned. The assistant manager held his hands up.

"I'm sorry Ron, I haven't got the supplies in from Smarty Mart yet-" Unknown to most people, Bueno Nacho actually got its supplies from the giant market chain. Since Smarty Marts were located all over the world, and shipped their supplies constantly, the management at Bueno Nacho had struck a deal with them to supply the restaurants, for a small fee. "I do have some Nacos, though."

Ron frowned. He only had four dollars on him, and with the price of Kim's salad, he'd only have enough for two Nacos. It was his turn to buy the food, and he'd spent half of his money this morning stocking up on edible food at the vending machine-the lunch lady had been serving some sort of mystery glop from the great beyond. He looked at Ned sadly.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you-I was talking with management, and mentioned that we get more people coming in on Tuesdays, and they liked my idea to move Naco Night-from now on, Tuesday nights are Naco Nights-all Nacos are half off."

Ron's eyes got wide. "Ha-half off?" He nearly choked as he started drooling. Four! He could get four Nacos! "Ned, you are the man! Four Nacos, and one salad." He turned. "What kind of salad, KP?"

She frowned. "The Tortata's fine."

They waited as Ned got their food, then went and sat at their booth. Ron ate his first Naco quickly, then slowly started on the second one. He looked at Kim. "I can't believe you got a salad-there's a Naco here for you, if you want it."

She shook her head. "I'll pass." The red head watched as he ate the cheesy mess. "I still don't see why you like those so much."

"C'mon, KP, how can you say no to all this cheesy goodness?" Ron held it up to her. "The Naco is the pinnacle of fast food eatery-cheese and sauce, spice and crunchiness, it all blends together to create the perfect food."

Kim put her hands up. "I'm not saying I don't like the Naco, but when was the last time you had something other than a Naco or Caserito to eat?"

He frowned. "Does Christmas count?"

She just sighed.

X X X X

(Wednesday Morning)

Of course, by the next morning, Ron hadn't dropped the subject. After meeting Kim outside her house, he started right where he left off. "Come on, KP, salads are for rabbit things-not people. I mean, it's not like people even associate with salads; no one ever named a salad after someone famous."

Kim stared at him. "I don't suppose you've heard of the Caesar Salad before."

Ron frowned. "Caesar Salad? Who's Caesar, is he that guy in Latin class?"

She rolled her eyes. "Never mind. Look, you like to cook, what's wrong with salads?"

"KP," he explained, "You don't 'cook' a salad-they just kinda grow in the bowl. Besides, what kinda name is 'Tortata' anyway?"

Now she was curious. "It is sort of strange. I mean, what does 'tortata' mean?"

"'Leafy lunch.'" Ron said absentmindedly-then his eyes got really wide. "No-no, I didn't just say that." He closed his eyes and hit himself in the head. "I knew I shouldn't have let mom make me take those cooking classes."

"When did you take cooking lessons?"

Ron shrugged. "Last summer, after taking home Ec. She always knew I was a good cook, but after that she thought I should take some formal classes." He said the last part in disgust. "KP, they wouldn't let me work with cheese!"

Kim stifled a laugh. "They wouldn't let you work with cheese at all?"

Now Ron looked at his feet. "Well, no, they just didn't want me to use cheese on everything." He made eye contact. "Kim, you don't know how awful it is to have something as simple as a potato with no cheese."

"Okay..." By this point they had reached the school. They entered the building. "I just-"

"Stoppable, we need to talk." Steve Barkin walked up behind the startled teens. Ron spun and hid behind Kim.

"Come on, Mr B, I told you I was sorry about the look-" Ron peeked over Kim's shoulder.

"No, Stoppable, I just got a letter in the mail for you." He held up an official looking letter. "You've been invited to the annual Cooking and Creation Expo."

Kim frowned. "What's that?"

Barkin held the letter up and read off of it. "'This letter is asking for a single student of high-caliber cooking skills to join in a week of learning about the new culinary advances of the last year. ' Stoppable, you're the best cook this school has seen, so you're going." He gave Ron the letter. "Pack up, soldier."

"But the letter says I don't leave until tomorrow night!" Ron's eyes had gone wide.

"Roger that, Stoppable, but you need your homework. Come with me." He placed his hands on the teen's shoulders and led him off. Ron managed to shoot Kim a look of fear and pleading. She stepped in.

"Um, Mr Barkin?" The Vice Principle half turned. "Can't Ron get his work later-I mean school starts in five minutes-you don't want him to miss first period English, right?"

"All right, Possible, good point." He looked back down at the teen in his grasp. "I'll see you seventh period study hall, Stoppable-my office-don't be late." With that, he released Ron and walked off.

The blond went over to Kim and grabbed her hand. "Thank you-you just saved my life."

She rolled her eyes. "Exaggerate much?"

"You have no idea what it's like. Remember when I went to Yamunuchi? One week of homework, not too bad. The accompanying week of classes compressed into a Barkin super lecture-" He shuddered. "Indescribable." Now he shook his head. "I'd have a better time with Shego. I'm not going KP."

"Just because Barkin's giving you homework?"

"Yes." She gave him a look. "No." He amended. "KP, I don't know, I don't like going on these things-I mean, it messes with my essential Ronness-Yamanuchi...Ninjas. Wannaweep...mutant fish things. You know, Kim, I used to like the woods, trees, nature...that was before the dark times...before Gill. And the Ninjas-don't get me started-how do you think I felt knowing that Rufus makes a better Ninja than I do? It vexes me so."

"Come on, Ron, this is cooking, you like cooking, remember? Creating pastries, pies, the naco-using long fork thingies and..." She coughed "...the blender. Look, no ninjas, mutant fish, monkeys or any other evil thing in sight. It'll be good for you."

"I-I don't know, KP, I'll think about it." Ron handed the pamphlet over to her, then followed her to their English class.

Kim spent the next few periods coming up with all sorts of arguments in favor of going, but couldn't convince Ron. Lunch came, and Kim sat staring at the letter. She just couldn't get him to understand that this would be good for him. She was gazing off into space when Monique came and sat next to her.

"You know, girl, you let your mind wander too far, and it won't come back."

Kim jerked up straight, then looked over at her friend. "Sorry, Monique, I'm just trying to figure out how to get Ron to go on this trip." She passed the letter over, hoping her friend might have some ideas. Monique picked it up and looked it over.

"Sounds pretty good, why doesn't he want to go?"

Kim rolled her eyes. "Something about Ninjas and mutant fish."

Monique decided to let that one pass. "So, where is chef boy, anyway?"

The red head waved her hand toward the front of the cafeteria. "Where else, arguing with the cafeteria lady again. He's really got to let it go, I know he's hundred of times better than her, but I swear that every time he does this, the food gets worse." She poked the food on her plate. "It's too bad Ron doesn't still have his home ec restaurant."

"That's it-that's it!" Monique laughed gleefully. Kim looked over, wondering if she'd lost it. About this time, Ron came back over.

"What's it?" Ron looked at both of them. "And why do I get the feeling this is about me?"

Monique held up the brochure. "Ron, you have got to take these classes."

He frowned. "Not you, too. Aww, man, can't a guy get a break?" He poked a finger at Monique. "See if I bake you anymore pies."

She glared back. "Don't threaten me, boy, or I'll never take you to another GWA match again." His eyes widened in horror. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Listen, did either of you read the fine print at the bottom?" They both shook their heads. "It says here that someone who visits these classes will be instantly certified to be a cafeteria cook, among other things."

"No way!" Kim snatched the letter out her hands, only to have Ron steal it from her. He glanced at it, then looked up, his eyes wide.

"This means I could cook for the school again! I can finally make food that actually has taste!"

Monique nodded. "Ron, think about all of these poor people forced to eat this disgusting glop. You can change that Ron Stoppable, it is your duty!"

"Yeah...yeah! I'll do it-I'll go to this cooking thing and save the school. I'll be a hero." He got up, then went over to the cafeteria lady to give her a piece of his mind-again.

Kim looked at her friend, eyebrows raised. Monique just looked back smugly. "You can do anything-me? I can convince anyone to do anything."

X X X X

With Ron finally convinced, the rest of the day want surprisingly well.

That was good-because the events after school were going to be...interesting.

X X X X

Dr Samuel Ian, or Sim as he was called by his friends, was not happy. He'd been happy earlier in the day, because he had just gotten a grant from the Middleton Museum for his newest expedition. He'd gone in front of the group of chairmen, laid out his case, and they'd seemed really excited. Dr Ian had found some references to an ape temple in the middle of a desert, a strange location for simian artifacts, and he wanted to check it out. Now with his funding, he'd be able to explore and hopefully find it.

That is, if he got out of his current situation.

After he had finished the presentation, the chairmen had indicated their support. Dr Ian had stood up to shake their hands, but was surprised when there was an explosion behind him. He turned, seeing a funny looking, bent over figure surrounded by a number of small monkeys dressed in black. As the smoke cleared, he recognized who was standing there. "Lord Monty Fiske? I heard you had disappeared. What happened to you, man?"

The monkey man walked forward, until he stood in front of the doctor. "It's Monkey Fist now, Dr Ian, and I'm here for my revenge."

Sim frowned. "Revenge? What did I ever do you?"

Monkey Fist stood right in front of him. "I am the premier archaeologist of monkey artifacts, not you. I should have been told about this simian temple first-but you got the call. You were always second best, doctor, and now you'll be dead, last, unless you tell me where to find this temple."

Sim shook his head. "I won't tell you where the temple is, but I would be willing to share the credit with yo-" He abruptly cut off as the monkey man grabbed him and lifted him off his feet.

"I'm not amused, doctor."

"Hey! Set him down, Monkey boy!" Ron stood slightly behind Kim, glaring at Monkey Fist.

"Wonderful, the buffoon and cheerleader." The monkey man turned, but didn't release the archaeologist. "Monkey Ninjas-attack!"

Five monkey ninjas immediately rushed toward Kim, ready to take her down. She waited until they were close, then flipped forward over them, moving toward Monkey Fist. A sixth ninja tried to get Ron, but he ran off, screaming. Kim managed to get near her target, and after a quick strike, caused him to loose his grip on Dr Ian. The archaeologist moved off, leaving Kim facing Monkey Fist.

He tried to attack her, but she back flipped away, then moved forward and kicked out, knocking him off his feet. Kim got ready to attack again, but realized the monkey ninjas were ready to attack. She spun and dropped to one knee, and punched out, then rolled and grabbed a tail. She stood and spun the monkey into its friend, and they quickly got tangled up. She turned, ready to attack Monkey Fist, but realized that problem had already been taken care of.

After the ninja had tried to attack Ron, he'd gone running off, waving his arms and screaming. Somehow, he'd knocked over a vase, which had set off the security system. Monkey Fist just happened to be standing near one of the exhibits, and when a steel cage fell from the ceiling, he was caught inside. He ran to edge, grabbed the bars, and tried to rock the cage. It wouldn't budge. He glared at Ron. The sidekick just grinned back.

"Monkey want a banana?" He made a peeling motion at the villain, and Monkey Fist tried to grab him through the bars. Ron jumped back and turned to Kim. "You know, KP, I think we need a sign that says not to feed the animals; they might bite."

"Ron..." Kim started, then broke off as the archaeologist walked forward.

"Are you Kim Possible?" She nodded. "Pleased to meet you, I'm Sim Ian-um, Doctor Samuel Ian at your service. And...this is?" He looked over at her sidekick.

"Ron Stoppable." He introduced himself. "Good to meet you, too." Ron shook the man's hand, then, keeping a tight grip, pulled his arm back and rolled up the archaeologist's sleeve, looking for fur. Dr Ian yanked his arm away and gave Kim a questioning look.

She leaned in closely. "He's afraid of monkeys."

"Ah." The archaeologist nodded. "I once had a guide that way...sadly, he is no longer with us."

Ron's eyes widened. "The monkeys killed him?"

"No, he ran off in a panic when a monkey jumped on him...I haven't seen him since." Sim shrugged. "Anyway, thank you for your help, Ms Possible..." he looked over at Ron. "...and you too, Mr...Stoppable. If you ever have need of my services, as an archaeologist, or even as a guide, don't hesitate to ask."

"It was no big, Mr Ian, just glad to help." She turned. "C'mon, Ron, lets get home. You may not have any homework due for a week, but I've still got some." She waved, and they turned and left.

X X X X

After they left, they went back to Kim's house, and ate a quick supper. From there, Kim went upstairs to work on her schoolwork, while Ron sat on the couch, one eye on the TV, the other watching the tweebs carefully. Just because it looked like they were watching TV didn't mean they were-he'd learned that the hard way-the twins had been testing a new back light for their TV, and accidentally cranked it up to full. Ron had seen nothing but white for almost an hour.

As it was, he didn't really feel completely safe until Kim had come downstairs nearly forty minutes later. She'd shooed the tweebs off, then sat next to Ron, while they waited for their show to start. As soon as Agony County began, Kim finally relaxed, and leaned up against Ron. He shifted, to get comfortable-he really didn't mind if she leaned against him, but sometimes his arm went to sleep before the show ended and Kim had made it quite clear how she felt when he fidgeted.

After the show, Ron decided to head home, since he still had to pack for his trip the next day. When he got there, he was surprised to see all the lights out. He thought his parents would have been home. Then he remembered that they were at a banquet, something about his father's friend being given an award-actuary of the year or something. He shrugged, and used his key to open the door. He edged across the black room, feeling for the lamp before he finally found it.

With the room finally lit up, he looked around, then wandered into the kitchen. There, he found a note just saying that his parents would be back at around ten-thirty. Ron considered playing a game, but after being chased around by those monkeys, decided he'd rather just go to bed. He went up to his room, then got out some of his clothes and things he needed for his trip. He packed them away, and figure he could finish up tomorrow after school; from there, he got ready for bed, and ten minutes later was blissfully asleep.

A/N Ha, if you were expecting the villains to be waiting for Ron, you were wrong. Anyway, on to the notes.

As I've said in my profile, I like mysteries, and the way 'So the Drama' was written so that you could figure out the plot if you really thought about it. I'm going for the same thing here, with this story, so feel free to speculate and guess what you think is going to happen. We'll see if you're right or not. And there might already be one key fact in this chapter.

When it's finished, this story will be the longest that I've posted; over three times the length of my next longest story. I've been working on it for a few years, to get all the plot details and things that I wanted in it. Most people describe Zorpox as a brilliant villain, but I really wanted to expand on that, with a complex plot, and a number of little twists and turns. Like I said at the beginning, on TV, we never really saw anything that made Zorpox seem that smart or dangerous. This story will fill in the blanks.

And for those looking for the appearance of Zorpox, you won't have to wait too long.