Loki had gone crazy. It was the only explanation for what he was doing. What exactly was he doing?

He was writhing. Stretching his toes and flicking his tail. Rubbing his cheeks on the carpet. Making plaintive little yowling noises. If Master Odin were home, he would have come running to see what was the matter, but Master Odin wasn't home.

Thor stepped forward to sniff him, then jumped away, then did it again. He had no idea what to make of Loki in such a state. He smelled... oh that smell. Loki smelled absolutely delicious. Like a piece of bacon on a plate up on the kitchen table, with Master Odin out of the room. Thor somehow knew that he couldn't possibly be allowed to have something that smelled so good.

Loki's turned his green eyes towards him. "I know what you want." He stretched out and bared his throat - a brazen invitation.

Thor wanted a lot of things. He wanted to dig really big holes in the back yard. He wanted to jump in the fridge and root around, smelling everything inside. He wanted to chew the legs off of all the tables and chairs in the house. But he didn't do those things because he was a good boy. He knew that he couldn't always get what he wanted.

"Come on. Do it. I promise I won't scratch you this time." Loki reached out to Thor, planted his claws in the carpet, and dragged himself towards him in the most obscene display of want he'd ever seen.

Thor jumped back - he didn't understand. This is how it usually went: Thor would be the one to pursue Loki. Pursue him, sniff him, lick him, and then just before getting close enough for a nice snuggle, he'd get a scratch for his troubles. That was Thor's understanding of how the world worked. Seeing Loki splayed out like this before him, inviting him, wanting him, threw his world upside down. He didn't know what to think.

But oh that smell was heady and drew him slowly closer. At the same it reminded him that this surely must be wrong.

"Master Odin wouldn't want us to." Thor told him, trying to steel his resolve.

"Master Odin's a mangy old one-eyed neuter."

Thor yipped in astonishment. He couldn't believe Loki would even think such a thing about their beloved Master.

"You take that back!" He barked.

"Try and make me, big boy." Loki rolled onto his stomach, crouching low to the ground, his tail whipping back and forth.

"You're... you're a bad dog!" It was the worst thing Thor could think to call him.

Loki's green eyes laughed mercilessly at him. "Oh, I am such a bad dog. You would even not believe. Come on over and let me show you."

Thor desperately wished Master Odin were home. He didn't trust himself to do the right thing. All he wanted was to... to...

Thor pounced on Loki. He couldn't help himself. A deep purr vibrated through Loki's body while Thor laved his neck. Then Loki started wriggling beneath him and Thor was so startled he jumped away again.

"Oh come on!" Loki threw himself to the ground in protest. He flipped over and arched his back, then began to knead the carpet with his needle-sharp nails. "You pester me for this every single day, and now that I'm in heat you change your mind?"

Thor trotted in a circle around him, trying desperately not to give in to his baser instincts again. "Wait... you're in heat?" Thor stopped and sniffed at him. "Doesn't that mean you're a girl cat?"

The mirth in Loki's eyes returned. "Right on the money, Bingo. We're called queens, by the way. You can call me Your Majesty."

Oh. Oh. Thor hadn't realized. It was a little hard to tell with cats. Loki would probably always be a he in Thor's mind, even if Thor could process the fact that he was a girl. He snuffled through the fur at the base of Loki's back, causing Loki to arch towards him.

"Wait, wait... if you're a girl cat, doesn't that mean... you'd have kittens?"

"That's the beauty of it, Thor. If I mate with you, I won't have kittens."

Thor cocked his head. "You're right! You'd have Corgi-kittens!" Thor's tail wagged at the thought.

Loki's bright green eyes narrowed wickedly. "Suuuuure," he replied. "You just have to decide how many you want in the litter."

"You can decide that?"

"Of course. The more times you do it, the more you have."

"Oh." It made sense to Thor. "Well then..." But there really wasn't anything else to say. Thor couldn't think of anything more wonderful, and he was sure Master Odin would be so pleased with them.

Thor jumped onto Loki. The wriggling was quite delicious, he finally decided.

It was dark out when Thor finally heard the front door open to admit Master Odin. He stood up to go greet him, but his wobbly hind legs buckled, leaving him seated on the floor beside Loki.

"Corgi-kittens!" He barked excitedly to Master Odin when he came into the room. "There's going to be sooo many corgi-kittens!"

Thor started licking Loki's ears and neck fondly.

"Go on - that's enough of that, dogbreath," Loki purred sleepily, his voice raw with from yowling. He rolled over but was apparently too tired to get up and move away.

Thor shuffled closer and licked his head one more time, knowing this would probably make Loki want to clean himself when he first got up, even though he'd already given himself a bath just before going to sleep. Thor had decided he loved watching Loki bathe. Which was perfect, since Loki did it all the time. Clearly they were made for each other.

Master Odin knelt to scratch Thor's head.

"It's nice to see you two finally getting along," he told Thor, who snuffed in agreement.

Tired but so happy, he put his head down on his paws to go back to sleep beside his mate.