A/N: I haven't really decided what I'm going to do with this chapter quite yet. Hopefully it comes out alright. Anyway, thank you everyone for the amazing reviews! One in particular meant a lot to me. Ghinzity said that this story was just as good as "The Buzzing of a Bee" (my absolute FAVOURITE Homestuck fan fiction ever written. Ever). That meant/means a lot to me because I'm actually very self-conscious about my writing and such. Thank you very much! This chapter is dedicated to you, Ghinzity! :) Anyway, please let me know what you guys think!
The song that Karkat is listening to is Lina Magic by 3D Friends. I really love that song, thanks to US Skins.
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"Karkat, get up."
"No."
"I swear to God, Karkat, I'll throw my spider on you."
"Don't do that, you bitch!"
I don't really know why Vriska is here. It's not her job to check on me when I miss school. Just because I've missed three days doesn't mean I need to be checked up on anyway. It's not like Vriska and I are super close. We hardly talk anymore, not since high school started. Apparently she still has that weird obsession with spiders.
"I won't throw her on you if you get up." Vriska said, towering over me. I wrapped my blankets around me even tighter, trying to squish my body into my bed. I don't want to get up. I want to stay here in my warm cocoon and never move again. I heard Vriska sigh in annoyance before I felt my blankets being ripped from me.
"Vriska, what the hell?" I yelled at her. She just rolled her eyes at me as she grabbed my shirt, dragging me across the bed. I squirmed around, trying to escape her.
"Just stop being an asshole, ok? Tavros is downstairs with Gamzee and Sollux right now, trying his best to not be awkward. So get up, get dressed, and come downstairs. Now." Vriska commanded. I don't normally listen to anything anyone has to say – unless it's John, of course – but the way she said it made me shiver. The stupid spider bitch sure has a way with intimidation.
"Fine." I grumbled. That seemed to satisfy her. Vriska let go of me, smiling to herself as she turned around. I sighed, looking away from her and trying to figure out how to get out of this mess. I turned just in time to see her throw a T-shirt at me. I caught it before it hit me.
"Get dressed. You better be down in five minutes." Vriska commanded. I shot her another dirty look before she stalked out of my room, slamming the door behind her. I leaned over my bed, picking up a stray shirt from the pile on the floor. I groaned as I realized it'd take energy to put it on.
She better have something good planned or I'm going to be pissed.
000
"Vriska, I'm really pissed off right now."
"Shut up, Karkat. Enjoy yourself for once." She snapped. I growled at her.
These assholes thought it'd be super fun to go to the public park. There's nothing fun to do here. It's mainly just a bunch of loud kids running around and old people. Two things I really hate in the world mashed into one place. I heard Sollux let out a snort. I gazed off into the distance, watching Gamzee push Tavros around in his wheelchair. I'm just going to assume that Gamzee didn't tell Tav about… whatever. Otherwise, Tavros would be pretty upset. It's not that I care or anything.
"Karkat, we brought you here so you could get out of the house." Sollux mumbled. Vriska nodded her head in agreement. I refused to look at them.
"Well, I quiet enjoyed being a loser and staying at home." I grumbled. Vriska turned her head towards me.
"That's not the only reason, Karkat. We wanted to get you out of this stupid rut."
"I'm not in a rut…" I mumbled, glaring at Vriska. Who the hell does she think she is?
"Yes you are! You're depressed because you don't think John loves you back." Vriska snapped. I balled my hands into fists, trying my best to not punch her in the face. She really knows how to get on my nerves.
"Does everyone know?" I grumbled. It was more to myself than them. Sollux just shrugged as Vriska nodded her head. Sollux let out a sigh as he leaned forward just a bit.
"Remember when I liked Aradia?" Sollux asked. I shot him a look. Vriska gave him a confused look, too.
"No."
"That's because I never told anyone. I liked her a lot. I even told her that. The thing is, I knew that she didn't like me back, but I told her anyway." Sollux mumbled. He had this far away look. I just glared at him.
"Is there a point to this?" I snapped.
"I think what numb-nuts is trying to say if that it's obvious that John likes you." Vriska replied for Sollux. I just stared at the two of them.
"I'm pretty fucking sure John doesn't like me back."
"Of course you're sure. You don't see it." Sollux snapped. I stared at him, my eyes slightly wide and mouth open just a tad.
"What?"
"It's painfully obvious to everyone else that he likes you. He might not realize it, but he does." Vriska replied before Sollux could. I rolled my eyes as I looked away from them.
"Since when did you become so observant, Vriska?" I sarcastically asked. I looked back at her. I wish I hadn't of said that now.
She had this look on her face that made me want to cry a little. She was staring off into space. I followed her gaze, my own landing on Gamzee and Tavros a little ways away from us. Gamz was pushing him around in a circle, trying to catch what looked like a butterfly. My eyes snapped back towards Vriska. A small smile had formed on her face, but she looked far from happy. I wanted to say something, anything, to make her feel better. Nothing came to mind.
"You know, it's good that you told him. It would have been miserable otherwise." Vriska mumbled. I stared at her for another moment, my brain going dumb apparently.
"How do you know?" I quietly asked her. I followed her gaze again, realizing that her eyes weren't set on Gamzee and Tavros. They were only on Tavros. Suddenly everything she said earlier clicked together.
"Trust me, Karkat, I know."
000
I could feel my music pulsing through my body. It's times like this I'm glad my parents are gone almost all the time.
After going to the park with everyone, I was sent back into a deep depression. I know they were trying to make me feel better in their own ways, but it somehow made me feel worse. Sollux's story depressed the hell out of me. Vriska made me want to cry. Gamzee and Tavros being oblivious to everything made me want to punch things. It's a horrendous cycle.
So now I'm just lying on my bed, my music as loud as it can go before it gives me a headache. I know I could have it louder, but I want to hear when my parents come home. I don't really want anyone to hear the girly music I listen to.
The bass was up so loud it made my floor vibrate. It made my ribs rattle. It made me feel so much better and worse about myself. It made me think about how much I wanted John to be here to experience this with me. It made me wish I had never told John anything in the first place.
Just as I was thinking those things, I heard a knock at my door. I growled as I rolled over, thinking it was just my parents. I turned the dial on my stereo done just a bit, hoping that would please them. It didn't. I heard another knock, this time louder.
"Go away! I turned it down!" I screamed over the music. There was another loud bang. With another growl, I pushed myself up off of my bed, storming over to the door. A song started to play that reminded me of John. This day has been awful.
"What do you want?" I screamed as I opened the door, expected my mom or dad to be standing on the other side. Instead, I came almost face-to-face with none other than John Egbert.
I couldn't breathe. John just stood there with this weird look on his face. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his lips all chewed up and swollen looking. It looked like he hadn't slept well in a few days. I wanted to reach out and touch him, hug him, something him, but I couldn't. It was almost like I had been frozen in time.
"Karkat…" John trailed. Just hearing his voice made my heart pound painfully in my chest. My heart was pounding along with the music. I couldn't take my eyes away from John's. Everything in me screamed to reach out and touch him.
Almost in time with the musk, just as the song reached its climax, John reached across the threshold of my door and grabbed me. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. John pulled me forward, crashing into me. Without him having to say anything, I tilted my head up as he leaned down to kiss me. Our lips collided in a cliché-perfect way.
Everything was kind of a blur after that. I pulled John into my room, the door slamming behind us. Our mouths eventually opened, tongues touching and all that shit. It wasn't really a fight for who was in control. It was just us sloppily making out. Somehow we collided into my bed, John falling on top of me. He gently pushed his body against mine, running his hands ever so carefully across my chest and sides.
It was then I chose the worst moment to remember what happened with Gamzee.
The last person to kiss me like this was Gamzee. The last person to touch me like this was Gamzee. The last person to anything me was Gamzee. It made me want to throw up. It made me feel like a whore, although I'm not sure why. I stopped my movements and pulled away from John. I could feel the bile building up. John pulled away from me, giving me a confused look. I tried my best to fight the rising puke, but I couldn't.
I pushed John off of me, running out of my room. I almost ran into the door, forgetting that it was closed. I ran down the hall, skidding into the bathroom. I heard movement behind me.
"Karkat?" I heard John call. I threw the toilet lid open, barely enough time to throw up in it. I really hate throwing up. The majority of it ends up coming out of my nose. I coughed several times before letting out another stomach full. I was aware that John was at the door, watching me as I threw up.
"It's not you!" I shouted when I was done. I was trying really hard to catch my breath. Tears were starting to fall from the burning sensation in my throat and nose.
What a great way to start a relationship.
000
"I think… I'm ok with it." John trailed. I stared at him with wide eyes. He can't be serious, can he?
I told him about Gamzee. I told him right after I threw up. I just sat there next to the toilet, crying from the pain of throwing up and the embarrassment it caused. I couldn't stop running the goddamn mouth. Eventually, John helped me off of the floor. He helped me brush my teeth, got me back to my room. He sat me down on my bed, gently rubbing my back. After I calmed down, there was an awkward silence for a really long time.
"Really?" I quietly asked with a sniffle. John slowly nodded his head. A faint smile appeared on his face.
"Yeah. I've been doing a lot of thinking the past few days. You know, I wasn't sure at first how I felt. For a long time, I've always thought you were handsome and nice in your own way and attractive on some odd level."
"Thanks, John, that makes me feel awesome." I interrupted with a snort. John just let out a dry laugh.
"Let me finish! I thought for a really long time. It's all I've been thinking about the past few days. And then, driving home one day, it just hit me. I knew that I liked you, too. It might even be love, but I don't know quite yet." John sheepishly said. I stared at him. I could see the faint outline of my reflection in his glasses.
"That sounds familiar…" I mumbled. John looked up at me.
"What?"
"Never mind." I said with a laugh. John just rolled his eyes at me.
"You're so weird sometimes. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, Karkat. I just… I thought I had waited too long to tell you. I thought that maybe you hated me for not telling you the second I realized it…" John trailed. I had to look away from him at this point.
"If it makes you feel better, I waited years to tell you."
"No! That makes me sad." John said, not missing a beat. I looked back at him. His eyes were all sad and crap. His mouth was pulled into a tight frown, his eyebrows turned upwards slightly. Even though he looked so sad, I couldn't help but find this situation hilarious. I tried my best to hold back my laughter, but I couldn't help it.
I laughed. I laughed right in John's face. It felt so good to laugh. John stared at me in confusion for a moment. Eventually, he broke down, too, and started to laugh along with me. It felt good to do this together. It felt good to have things back to normal, even though things will never be quite the same. I'm ok with that this time around.
As my laughter started to subside, John leaned towards me. Before I could react, his lips connected with mine. This kiss wasn't as heated or needy as it was earlier. It was just a simple kiss, almost like it was sealing the deal. I inwardly smiled and kissed John back.
I've never been this happy in my life.
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Wow, this is finally done! Thank you everyone for the encouraging reviews! Every single one of them motivated me to write this chapter! :) Please let me know what you think!