A/N: I've been trying to write a She Will be Loved/Puckurt fic for months but I was stuck on the first part. A few days ago I went back, deleted everything and started again and this is what came out. I hope you will like it!


1.

Beauty king of only eighteen
He had some trouble with himself

Kurt squints his eyes a little and then opens them wide before running his fingers around them and across his forehead. He turns his head to the right and then to the left tilting his chin up to look at his neck. Lowering his head a little he examines his hair trying to see if his father's baldness is starting to show up. Once he's sure his hair is still white-free and there are no bald spots, he gets up and starts to examine the rest of his body.

There's a knock and Kurt quickly pulls down his shirt. He clears his throat. "What?"

"Kurt," comes Carole's voice from the other side, "breakfast's ready."

"I'll be down in a minute," he calls back. He listens in silence until her footsteps grow faint and then he glances at his reflection once again. He probes at his stomach and then twists around to look behind him. He sighs heavily and gets downstairs.

2.

He was always there to help him
he always belonged to someone else

Kurt stares down at his thumb stroking slowly across Blaine's knuckles. He can't help but notice how even though it's nice to be sitting in front of a coffee talking about simple things with his boyfriend, somewhere in the back of his mind, he keeps wondering why this never feels like it's enough.

"Kurt?"

He looks up and finds worried brown eyes watching him. He puts up a smile and asks, "Yes?"

"I asked you if everything's okay at school."

"Of course it's fine. We are just busy because it's our last year." Even as the words come out of his mouth, his mind wanders back to the boy who's always sitting on his couch every Friday night. He thinks of hands that don't touch him as if he's made of glass and of hazel eyes that sometimes have sparkles of gold in them. He never calls what he has with that boy cheating because whenever they're together, Kurt can't think about anyone else. And as much as that's wrong, he can't stop.

Blaine tightens his hold around Kurt's hand but Kurt doesn't seem to notice and Blaine is back at counting the minutes they have left.

3.

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

The first time they kiss Puck is half drunk because after a fight with his mother that's how he copes. He gets in his truck and drives without thinking of a destination, without thinking about how he could crush into a tree or that they could send him to jail now that he's eighteen. When he finally stops and finds himself parked outside the Hudmel's house he's not surprised. He reasons that it's his best friend's house, of course he'd go there, never mind that Finn has the tryouts for the Ohio States and he knows it all too well because that's all Finn has been talking about for weeks.

He knows that Finn isn't there just as well as he knows that Burt and Carole are off somewhere for Burt's campaign. That doesn't stop him from getting out of his truck and walk up to the front door. He knocks once, twice and then finally Kurt pulls open the door, the annoyed expression at being disturbed melting away to a familiar smile.

"Hey Puck, Finn's not home."

"I know." He reaches out and steadies himself against the door sparing a moment to think that he's more drunk than he thought. His eyes lock with Kurt's and he finds himself thinking about how nice it would be to make out with someone that wasn't shorter than him. As soon as that thought enters his mind, his eyes fall down to Kurt's lips.

"Puck? Are you okay?" Kurt hesitates and then adds, "Do you want to come in?"

"Not a good idea," he whispers.

"Are you drunk?" And now Kurt sounds annoyed and Puck doesn't like that.

"Maybe." He swallows and takes a step forward. Kurt puts his hands up against his chest to keep him from smashing his face on the floor, and now they're standing close, so close that Puck can make out the faint freckles scattered across Kurt's cheekbones.

When he finally closes the small distance between their mouths, he's only half-aware of what he's doing. In some part of his mind not yet clouded by alcohol, he's praying not to get hit. But Kurt uses the hands he still has twisted into Puck's shirt to bring him closer and Puck's mind finally shuts up.

A moment later he pulls away and bends over a bush to throw up. He hears Kurt laughing behind him and he's just happy that they aren't going to slip into some awkward moment.

The first time they have sex Puck is stone cold sober and he still remembers every moment even months later: Kurt's fingers clutching at his arms while he looked at Puck as if he was the only thing that was keeping him safe; breathy moans that were lost in the quiet of the house; the nervousness and wonder in Kurt's eyes because it was his first time and he had never thought that anything could feel that good.

And now, a thousand times later, they are still in the same room, Kurt's back pressed against Puck's chest. Puck's fingers holding Kurt's hips tightly while he pushes up and down, in and out, Kurt's thighs flush against his. Puck frees one hand and takes Kurt's, entwining them and sliding them up until Kurt's heart is beating under them.

It's in these moments that Puck is sure he will never let go and that maybe, just maybe, one day Kurt will really be his.

4.

I want to make you feel beautiful

Kurt is back in front of the mirror staring at his reflection and willing it to change into something that he will actually like. The door behinds him opens and Puck slides inside without saying anything. He makes sure that everyone is still sleeping and then closes the door and turns his attention to Kurt who's staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

Puck mirrors his expression and asks, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Why are you sneaking into my room?"

Puck smirks and steps closer, his hands finding their way to Kurt's hips, his fingers squeezing. "Were you looking at your ass?" He ignores Kurt's blush and uses the silence to steal a brief kiss before letting his hands slide down to slip into the pockets of Kurt's jeans. "Can't say I blame you."

Kurt rolls his eyes because flirting it's like a second nature to Puck. He slips out of Puck's arms and sits down at his vanity. "You didn't answer me. What are you doing here?"

Puck shrugs and goes to sit down next to Kurt. "Everyone's sleeping so I figured we could talk."

"Talk?" Kurt scoffs and looks at Puck challenging.

"I..." Puck runs a hand through his mohawk and ends up scowling down at the floor. "Last week when I came over and I kissed you..."

"That was the most romantic thing ever," Kurt says and his lips curve into a smile because he has spent the last week smiling whenever he thinks about it. "The whole kissing me and then throwing up was so sweet."

"I had a fight with my mom," Puck retorts seriously and finally looks up at Kurt. "I drank and ended up here."

"So you would have kissed Finn if he was home?"

Puck frowns. "No way. He's my bro." He hesitates once more and then adds, "I wanted to kiss you. I want to kiss you again."

Kurt blushes. "You just did."

"Kurt..."

"I get it," Kurt cuts him off. He supposes he should think about what he's doing but he can't stop himself from leaning in and pressing his lips against Puck's. He cups a cheek with his hand and strokes his thumb across a defined cheekbone and the feeling of stubble under his fingertips and against his lips makes him shiver. He takes Puck's lower lip between his and nips gently at it before letting his tongue slips inside Puck's mouth. Kurt hears Puck moaning and it's such a primal and needy sound that he slides his arms around Puck's neck and ends up straddling him.

When Puck pulls back for just a moment before diving back in as if he can't help himself, Kurt thinks it's funny that for the first time he actually feels beautiful.

5.

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the boy with the broken smile
Ask him if he wants to stay awhile
And he will be loved

It's raining so heavily that from his bedroom window Puck can't even see his truck parked at the end of the driveway. He hates winter. No business, no playing outside and when they have practice he always ends up freezing. When his phone vibrates in the pocket of his worn-out jeans he ignores it because he's not in the mood to talk to anyone. Well, there's someone he'd very much like to talk to and see, but that person is ignoring him so no need to check who's calling.

He throws himself down on his bed and retrieves an old issue of Spiderman and starts reading, willing himself to stop thinking about Kurt telling him, 'he's safe. He's not going to hurt me,' and how that had felt worse than a punch in the stomach. He can still hear himself yelling that it was just stupid excuses and fuck him if Kurt thought Puck was going to wait around for him to make up his mind. That they had been together-on-the-side for the last five months was carefully ignored by them both.

His phone vibrates again and again and Puck scowls at the pages of his comic book trying to concentrate harder even though he has spent the last twenty minutes on the same part. The phone goes off again and he finally pulls it out of his pocket. When his eyes fall on the caller ID he sighs and doesn't answer, he simply throws away his comic and pulls on his running shoes. He's out the door and jogging down the driveway before he can think about what the hell he's doing.

When he reaches Kurt's house and knocks it's Finn who opens the door.

"Dude, why are you soaked?"

"Rains too much to drive in that old thing," Puck replies, pushing past Finn and running upstairs. He throws open the door at the end of the hall and quickly shuts it behind him, his chest heaving and the cold soaking through his clothes. "What's wrong?"

Kurt looks at him surprised for a moment before a small smile curves his lips without reaching his eyes. "You ran all the way here?"

Puck shrugs wondering if maybe he has overreacted. Maybe he should have just answered the phone but that didn't even cross his mind. "Can't drive in this shitty weather," he offers up walking closer to the bed and sitting down next to Kurt.

There was a time when he would have been pushed off because he was getting Kurt's expensive duvet wet but that hasn't happened in months. They just learned to live with each other's little quirks, even love them not that they were ever going to actually admit it.

"What happened?" Puck asks quietly.

Kurt shifts closer on the bed until their thighs are pressed together. His eyes stare at Puck's hands and before he can remind himself that no matter how many times Finn pretends not to see them sneaking around and they shouldn't be alone with him downstairs, he reaches out and slides his fingers through Puck's. "NYADA's application just came in today."

"Oh." Puck looks up at Kurt then trying to hide his excitement at the news because no matter how sure he was that Kurt was getting in, Kurt doesn't look happy. "What did they say?"

"I still have to open the letter. I... I was waiting for you," Kurt mumbles the last part staring down at their hands. "I know we had a fight but I thought maybe you'd like to be here for... in case... you know."

"Sure. C'mon, let's do it."

Kurt gets the letter from his desk and hands it to Puck. "Do it."

Puck doesn't wait before tearing it open. He doesn't read though, handing the sheet of paper to Kurt. He watches his boyfriend-friend-lover scanning it quickly.

Kurt gulps and bites his lower lip and Puck knows what that means.

"I didn't get in." He pauses and tries to smile when he looks back at Puck. "It's not the only place where I sent my application but it was my first choice and I mean it's okay but..." He breaks off into a sob and for a moment Puck doesn't know what to do, but then he slides his arm around Kurt's shoulders and he lies down pulling Kurt with him.

He hugs him tight and lets him cry and doesn't say anything and hopes it's enough.

"Stay?" Kurt asks him after almost an hour and Puck doesn't even think about refusing or how maybe it's someone else's place he's in.

He waits until Kurt is asleep before leaving a kiss behind his ear and whispering "I love you."

6.

Tap on my window knock on my door
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

Puck turns on his side and slides his head under the pillow. The insistent tapping doesn't stop and Puck curses and sits up in bed. The tapping stops for a moment and then starts again and it finally register in Puck's sleep clouded mind that someone is throwing something against his window.

He pushes away his covers and gets up. Kurt is standing on his driveway, a thick colorful scarf wrapped around his neck and that ridiculous hat of his on his head. Puck has to stop himself from thinking about making out in smelly closets with his hands tagging playfully at Kurt's earmuffs.

When he opens his window he yells, "What the hell are you doing?"

"You didn't answer your phone so I came over but you didn't answer the door." Kurt stops from a moment and Puck can see him scrunching up his nose. "What are you doing asleep at nine o'clock?"

"Just... get your ass upstairs. You know where's the key." He shuts the window and shakes his head. A moment later he hears the front door opening and closing and then quick steps up the stairs. When his door flies open he barely has a moment to see Kurt's face before he's being kissed with so much force he ends up sprawled on his bed.

He pulls away breathing heavily. "What..."

"Be my boyfriend?" Kurt asks breathless. His eyes are bright from the cold and the excitement and his cheeks are almost as red as his lips. The only thing that Puck likes about winter it's how it looks on Kurt. "Noah?"

"I... What..."

"Be my boyfriend," Kurt repeats and this time it's more a demand than a question.

He could ask what happened to Blaine or why Kurt has finally decided and what in the hell was he thinking by choosing him over someone else (because when did that ever happen?), but what he actually does is kiss Kurt and smile and say yes.

7.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah

There are times when things go so great that Santana murmurs about missing the days when Finn and Rachel were the most sickening thing in glee club and there are days when they can get into a fight and yell at each other until they both walk away screaming, "it's over!"

Every time someone sees them fighting they wonder why they don't just break up but if there's something that both Kurt and Puck know, is that they can't ever say enough. They fight and yell and walk away but then they go back to each other and talk about what was wrong and they reach a point when it seemed stupid to be fighting. It's not perfect, people call them crazy, but for them it works and really, nothing else matters.

8.

My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

When Kurt knocks it's Puck's mother who opens the door. She smiles at Kurt and invites him in and after a few minutes of small talk she tells him to go ahead upstairs. When Kurt reaches Puck's bedroom he finds his boyfriend still sleeping. He closes the door behind him and toes his shoes off before sliding in the bed and leaning his head on Puck's shoulder. He sighs and closes his eyes smiling.

When people ask Kurt how long they've been together he answers eight months even though the first five were spent sneaking around together. But it was never just about sex and Kurt has started falling in love long before they slept together for the first time, so he will answer eight months and don't care about the rest.

Puck shifts a little and blinks his eyes a few times before being finally able to focus on Kurt's face. "What are you doing?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out."

Puck stretches and slides his arm around Kurt pulling him closer. "In a little while, huh?"

Kurt smiles and nods even though he knows that they will probably not be getting out. Puck closes his eyes again and a few minutes later he's asleep once again and Kurt really loves moments like these.

9.

I know where you hide alone in your car.

Know all of the things that make you who you are.

When the passenger door is suddenly opened and Puck gets inside in a rush of icy wind and dripping rain, Kurt knows he shouldn't be surprised; Puck is always finding him after all.

"Hiding place number three," Puck comments reaching out to turn on the car so he can use the heating.

"What are you doing here, Puckerman?"

Puck scoffs and rolls his eyes turning around in his seat so he can look at Kurt who's currently frowning at him. "Puckerman, huh? What did I do?"

"Nothing." Kurt gets back at staring out of the windshield hoping Puck will just leave. But Puck is not Finn, he's not Blaine, he's not someone who just leaves when asked to. He stays and fights and pushes forward when Kurt pulls back; just one of the many ways in which they balance each other.

"Do you really think I'm just going to leave?" Puck scoffs again as if insulted. "What happened?"

They stay in silence for long moments and then Kurt finally confesses. "I had a fight with Rachel."

"What did she say this time?"

Kurt looks at him then and sighs. "It was about you. She told me I shouldn't just presume that by this time next year we will still be together."

"Why? Because you're leaving?"

"Yes."

Puck feels anger rising inside him, has to fight the urge to get up and go looking for Rachel to tell her to mind her own business. "Since when do you care about what she says about you? I've lost count of how many times you've insulted and fought each other."

Kurt shakes his head and feels his lips turning into a smile. "You have such a way with words."

Puck gives him his dopey smirk and shrugs. "I just know how to get you to listen. Always works."

Kurt stretches his arm between them and closes his fingers around Puck's soaked t-shirt and pulls him forward.

"And I always manages to turn you on," Puck whispers.

"Shut up."

There are times when Kurt really thinks there's no one who knows him better than Puck.

10.

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

The fact that this moment was coming doesn't mean they're ready. They're standing outside Mr. Schuester's apartment, the graduation party of New Directions still in full swing but neither one of them is really in the mood to celebrate. Twenty-four hour and Kurt will be in New York and Puck still stuck in Lima until Fall when he'll leave for Chicago.

Puck wonders if Kurt thought he wouldn't notice it when he started pulling away. He stands between Kurt and his car ready to do everything to get Kurt to understand that he doesn't have to listen to Rachel or anyone else, that they know what they have and that's enough.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You and Beth, that's all I have." He thinks about having someone telling him 'I love you' for the first time; about finally being someone's first choice; about babysitting Beth together. "I'm not letting you break us up."

"What does that even mean? You can't stop me..."

"Of course I can."

"Noah..."

"No, Kurt." Puck swallows around the lump in his throat. He remembers a time when if someone broke up with him, he would just have said 'fuck it!' and be done with it and he's so damn glad to have changed. He can feel the fear that Kurt won't listen spreading inside him, twisting his guts.

"What if while we're apart we loose each other?"

"We won't let that happen." Puck smiles and takes a step forward. He cups Kurt's face and Kurt closes his hands around Puck's wrists. "Stop trying so damn hard to say goodbye."

He can be strong when Kurt can't and he knows that Kurt would do the same for him, it's why they work. They have long since learned that they both need, want and love each other.

11.

I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and makes me catch him every time he falls

"When's your boy getting here?"

Puck glances up from his textbook long enough to see Megan buttoning up her coat. "In a couple of hours."

"And how long will I be visiting my sister?" She asks with a grin while grabbing her bag.

Puck smirks and closes his book. "For the whole week."

"Of course." She rolls her eyes and opens the door. "Just remember that I'm back on Monday and Dylan gets back Sunday night."

He nods and gets back to his book while Megan gathers up her things and leaves.

He and Kurt have been together for two years, they're both sophomores and they've worked out a schedule where the one who currently has the money goes to visit the other. At first the distance was their greatest fear but now it's just an excuse to have crazy sex for a week, except for when they both get back to Lima for the summer.

Puck lives with Megan, a girl that shares his music classes and Dylan, a guy that goes to their same college. He works at a restaurant, a coffee shop and wherever he finds anything. Kurt lives with Rachel and between her fathers and Burt they could not work but Kurt still insisted on finding a job in a small restaurant. The older they get, the more equals they become and that's one of Puck's favorites parts of being with Kurt.

If people asked him at seventeen if he ever thought he'd be in a steady relationship by the time he turned twenty-one, he would have laughed in their faces. However the truth is that he has a boyfriend, has had one for a while and now that he's Noah Puckerman college student and got his brand new start, he doesn't care a lot about what his past self would think of anything.

When he hears the doorbell ringing, he gets up from the couch sighing because Megan is always forgetting her keys. But when he opens the door he doesn't find Megan standing on the doormat.

"Hey." Kurt is smiling brightly and his voice is excited. He's wearing his old ridiculous hat and he's fidgeting nervously. "I caught an early flight and here I am."

Puck blinks a few times and then closes his hands around the lapels of Kurt's blue coat and pulls him in a welcoming kiss. He feels Kurt laughing against his mouth and being with Kurt still feels like the best thing ever.