Hello, it is I, Luigified! And... I'm back? Sorry, no excuses, I just had a bad case of the block, and everything I wrote sucked. That's not an excuse, though...

ANYway, I think I'm going to get to 10 chapters with my 2 humor stories, then make a part 2, also with 10 chapters, etc.

But, thanks for your continued support! I appreciate it!

Thanks go especially to BlueSeven123, Dimentio's Epic Girlfriend, and Old Rival Shipper, for reviewing, favoriting, and/or following any of my stories.

Thanks to bekbekah92,BlueSeven123, Dimentio's Epic Girlfriend, Spirit of Chaos, and crazy cyborg 225 for favoriting and/or following me. :D

P.S. Thank you all! We have more that 1,500 views!

NOW, TO STORY!

Epic Mario Fails, Chapter 6

Here's a hint: The guy-

Assuming you still want to read this, it was a beautiful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Clouds with happy faces were... happy, the sun wasn't angry, the sky was a beautiful blue, and plumbers were trying to find a kidnapped princess. An average day in the Mushroom Kingdom indeed...

Of course, in the Darklands, everyone was preparing for the imminent invasion. It's kind of sad, actually, how two humans with occasional superpowers can beat an army of monsters... But, that wasn't in the mind of the loyal servants of Bowser. Nope, they were thinking about how if they could beat Mario, or heck, even Luigi, Bowser would give them a grand feast.

Contrary to what some may believe, all of Bowser's minions who don't live in the castle live in Neo Bowser City. It's actually very close to Bowser's Castle, but the camera always pans too far to the right. If you've ever seen something bright, off to the left of the Castle, it would be Neo Bowser City. No? You haven't seen it? It's there...

Anyway, we go to Perry, an average parakoopa. When he wasn't working to stop Mario from rescuing the princess, he was a fry cook at the Koopa Krown Diner. Quite frankly, he didn't really care about the frequent kidnappings of the princess of the neighboring kingdom. He actually wished she wouldn't be kidnapped, he got paid way more at the diner. Plus, it was more enjoyable... Cooking, not bouncing and/or flying aimlessly. But, if he's forced to do it, he might as well try his hardest, so he can get that feast! (He's heard it's enormous!)

Buuuuut... Whatevs. Y'know, chill bro. Just go with the flow. Unless you're Bowser or Mario. Like, for real, all over one girl? Why don't they just share her or something? Two weeks at the Mushroom Kingdom, one at Bowser's Castle. I mean, is it really that difficult? I think not.

That's aside from the point though. See, it all started the day before the day before the day before the day before the day after the day before tomorrow. If that confuses you, it was !*#&)(#*&^^. Basically, Thursday. On the 4th week of the 7th month of the 6189309939th year... Of Peach's reign in the Mushroom Kingdom. See, they used MK dates because Bowser's infatuation with her was so strong, he aligned the Koopa calendar and the Toadstool calendar

Did you get all that? Well, if you didn't... Then... I can't help you. But it all-

(…...Y U INTERRUPT ME!?...How's your day been?)

Anyway... Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was trying to begin our tale of... Not terror, woe, or any of that crap, but one of mischief and comedy.

It was a warm, sunny, Sunday in the Koopa Kingdom. The Diner was at its busiest in weeks, and, did I mention, there were no jerks there! Shocking! Did I say Sunday? I meant Thursday. But that doesn't really matter, though, anyway. It's not like it would matter anyway. Oh wait, it would, since wars can't be declared on Sunday. Or Saturday. You'd have to either do it on Friday or wait until Monday.

What was I getting at? I don't know... This story is pretty much a bunch of sugar-laced crack anyway, so any flaw in storytelling won't matter, will it? OH YEAH!

See, Perry had just been promoted to Castle status, which meant that he got to be one of those annoying Koopatrol things. God, I hate them. He didn't expect to have to go to the Castle right after he got off of work. He didn't even get to spend all that money he accumulated over the day. Heck, he didn't even get to play CoD: Modern Warfare 27 or New New Ultra Super New Super Mario Bros. 5. See, those little Americans and Japanese guys got their games LATE. Peach had the entire world copyrighted. See, the MK was actually quite poor before- yeah... That's another story for another time. REMEMBER THIS.

Anyway, our protagonist (but everyone else's antagonist) was walking home from work, when Bowser made an announcement over all of the wonderful TVs, which just so happened to be in places where you just couldn't ignore them. Like, they move right in front of your face, and the volume is cranked up they know they got the point across.

A smirking Bowser appeared on the screen. He tapped the mic, asking if it was on. "Ahhhh, ahem. Today we are invading the Mushroom Kingdom once and for all... NO! I DID NOT SAY THOSE EXACT WORDS BEFORE SUPER MARIO GALAXY 5! ...THAT'S IT. OFF TO THE DUNGEON WITH YOU. Ah, yes. We are preparing to invade them. In one second you better be at battle position, or you will be sent off to the dungeon, as well."

(This probably took you a bit longer than a second... Well, the dungeon is over there →)

Either A.) you are a very fast reader B.) you are in the dungeon... But then you wouldn't be reading this... Unless you have something reading to you... Or C.) You are a dirty, filthy liar who deserves to be in the dungeon. I believe the vast majority of you are under C. But, you know, I fall under that category, too, so I'll let you guys off. Just this once.

(I know reading all that crap took longer than a second. You could be getting into your position now... Or going into my dungeon. Your choice.)

Perry actually used his amazing powers of superb teleportation, otherwise known as walking, to get to his position. Flying takes a bit to prepare. When he made it to the castle, he abruptly learned that the idiot that was arguing with (King) Bowser was actually Kamek.

(I CAN MAKE CHARACTERS OOC IF I WANT! As you will see later XD)

(Disregard that.)

(Shutup.)

(No.)

(OH MY JEZEEPERS, JUST GO ON.)

Anyway, aside from that retardness, Kamek, the caretaker of the Koopalings, had just argued with Bowser. On national television. Needless to say, not only did he get sent to the dungeon, but, some pretty nasty things happened. As this story is rated K... Or is it K+? It's sad I don't remember the rating for my story...

Anyway, as this story is basically E for everyone, I cannot explicitly mention all the gruesome, horrible details involved. It was... Absolutely terrible, to say the least. But, I can say, it involved gummy bears, Frosty the Snowman, rainbows, unicorns, and, most deadly of all, Pillow Pets. They truly are secretly evil.

Perry was the first person Bowser saw when he came back from the horrid dungeon, which coincidentally served as Princess Peach's room. For some reason, she actually liked those dreadful things. Maybe she likes what we don't and vice versa?

Eh, I get paid to work, not think, he thought. What a glaring contradiction. God, Perry's such a hypocrit. Stupid Perry.

Anyway, when Bowser spotted Perry standing at attention, resolute in his defense of that gray wall between the two lava pits, he immediately called him over.

"Hey, you!" He called, pointing to Perry. When Perry pointed to himself, Bowser responded with an ever so kind, "Yes you, ugly!"

Perry was as scared as could be. But, if he shook or trembled, Bowser would see. Wouldn't that be embarrassing? I mean, armor just a-clanking. It would be sooo terrible. So, even though he was about to soil himself, he responded with a clear and confident, "Yes, King Bowser? Your Dreadfulness requested my presence?"

"Yes, minion. Watch my children. NOW!"

"Yes, your Terribleness." he replied, walking off, into the room.

After about 25 minutes of watching the children be idiots, trying to stand up to Mario alone, Mario appeared in the room. It was him and Mario... Just the 2 of them.

"Heyyyy Mario. Do you want to-"

And then he was kicked in his armored stomach, sending him onto his back. The armor was ripped off, and he was burnt. But, to add insult to injury, he was, wait for this... robbed! His whole life savings, two gold coins, were stolen, in one fell swoop! Then, his clothes were stolen, and kicked at the others! In fact, it apparently helped defeat Bowser himself!. It was not a pretty day.

(Today)

Perry was reclining on a, well recliner. What else would he be reclining on? A sofa? LOL, NO.

His psychiatrist was of the chair, trying to comfort the crying Perry.

"Go on-"

"And then he, and then he-"

THE END

(By the way, the end was 'left me.'

THE ACTUAL END

Welp, bye!