Chapter One

Author's Note: I don't own any part of TBBT. Sadly, I just obsess about it. This story will be mainly from Amy's perspective as I feel I can more easily understand how she feels. What Sheldon's thinking, who knows? Please forgive any mistakes, I am self-editing.

Amy was lonely, like really lonely. Granted she wasn't actually alone. She was for the most part surrounded by people on a regular basis. But within her group of friends she felt alone. It was stupid really. Why now? Why after so many years of truly being alone, by her self alone, did she feel this way? She had a wonderful group of friends, and the biggest stunner of them all, she had a boyfriend. Amy Farrah Fowler had a boyfriend!

Dr. Sheldon Copper was her boyfriend, had been for over a year now. She was absolutely mad over him too. He was tall and handsome and smart. Smarter than her and that never happened. Thankfully she had more "street smarts" so it pretty much evened them out. They spent a ton of time together, a lot of which was just the two of them. They had their monthly date nights and several shared interests. Trips to the zoo, games or experiments they invented and of course youtube was a much better place thanks to their hundreds of fun and informational podcasts.

But it was the times that they were together with their group of friends that Amy felt lonely. Like right now. Everyone was hanging out after dinner in Sheldon and Leonard's apartment. Sheldon was of course in his spot and Amy was in her's. Though not official everyone always let her have the seat on the couch beside him. Penny was sitting in the beige armchair with Leonard sitting right next to her in his desk chair, which he had wheeled as close as physically possible to Penny. All night he had been teasing and flirting with her. Touching her whenever the opportunity arose, nothing overly passionate, just little touches to her knee or arm. A few stolen kisses as well.

Howard and Bernadette sitting to Amy's right were the same. Married just 4 months now and they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. They "played it cool" after a stern lecture from Sheldon about their over the top PDA's. But they still shared their little looks and affections. Amy was sure that was what made her lonely.

After a year of officially dating Sheldon still didn't feel the need to share physical affections with Amy. He never scooted closer to her on the couch. If he did ever accidentally touch her, he would pull away like he had been burned and apologize profusely. Even after Amy had hinted, implied and outright stated that she was not bothered by his touch. In fact she had requested it from time to time.

She would wager a kiss or cuddle session in a negotiation. Or if she was feeling sad about something she would implore Sheldon to hug her. Occasionally he relented but more often than not he would refuse. These were the times when she felt her heat rip a little more. What was the point of having a boyfriend who was little more than a friend? Not even a friend with benefits.

As she sat in the living room of 4A that night Amy was certain of one thing. She couldn't continue like this. Jealous of her two best friends and their relationships. Envious that she was never showered with hugs and kisses. I mean come on! How is it even possible that she was jealous over Bernadette when she was married to Howard, a lowly engineer with only a master's degree?

She was going to have to confront Sheldon. Just not tonight, it would be best to settle these things without an audience. Besides she wasn't ready yet. She needed to fully prepare herself for the worst case scenario; if she told Sheldon how she truly felt and he remained unwilling to change she would have to break up with him. Even as she thought about the possibility, she was sad. She felt her eyes prick and looked over at her boyfriend. He was debating something with Leonard at the moment and unaware of her gaze. She longed to feel closer to him, to feel his warm touch. But now she settled for the little she could get away with, she slyly scooted a tiny bit closer to him allowing their legs to just barely touch. It was nothing really, but it was all she had.

Amy's sad expressions and subtle touching of Sheldon may have gone completely unnoticed by him. But it was never missed by Penny and Bernadette. They had watched Amy vie for Sheldon's attentions for many years now and it broke their hearts to see her hurt.