A/N: This just popped into my head one day. And I HAD TO write it. This is my first attempt at slash so my cheeks are still red and I'm fighting the urge to not upload… ;)

This is drabble-ish, but after long consideration I'm going to upload it as a one-shot.

I hope you enjoy!

I can feel you watching me from across the room. Your eyes are burning into me, making me self-conscious and unfocused. I'm fighting the urge to look back at you. I know it's you looking. I noticed you the second you came into the club.

I try to ignore you. Like I've done with all the rest. But I almost want to let go and just give into you. Visions of us being naked together flash before my eyes.

I close them and swallow down the wetness that's forming in my eyes.

I am drunk. But not drunk enough for this. I just want to forget everything. Why can't they just leave me alone long enough to do that?

And I got that feeling again; the feeling like I am never going to survive this heartache.

I am nursing the drink in front of me, leaning into the bar and wondering if it is clever of me to keep drinking. I had been reluctant to come here in the first place. But Emmett had been very insistent.

So here I am. Surrounded by men trying to score. And all I want to do is crawl back to bed. I just don't want to be reminded about him.

But before I can follow through on that thought I can feel someone stepping up close to me. You are standing so close to me that I can feel the heat radiating off of you, seeping into me. I keep my eyes on my drink. I don't want to acknowledge you. Can't stand having to play this game.

Not yet anyway.

But then you start speaking to me.

"What's your name?" You say in a rich baritone voice.

I close my eyes and shake my head. I ignore the way my body is reacting to you and I almost feel ashamed of how my body is betraying my heart.

"It's very clear you don't want to talk to me. But I want to talk to you." You continue.

You stick your hand out in front of me, too visible to be ignored.

"My name is Jake. What's your name?"

Reluctantly I take your hand. And immediately feel my entire body heat up by this touch alone.

"Jasper." And as I finally let my eyes meet yours I can feel myself drowning in your deep brown eyes.

I am in trouble.

But I ain't going down without a fight.

You don't let go of my hand. Your eyes are roaming my face, taking in my features. Your thumb is stroking the soft flesh between my thumb and index-finger. The subtle touch is filled with promises; how it could be between us.

Sending chills down my body.

You are tall and have a body that I can't help but notice. You clearly take care of yourself. Your skin is tanned, your hair is closed cropped and dark. Your features are clearly Native American.

You are beautiful. And you obviously know it.

Which make me tear my hand away from you.

This only makes you smirk and I can see you thinking I'm a welcome distraction. A challenge as I'm not giving in to you easily like you are used to.

I am not ready for this. Not by a long shot.

But clearly my body hasn't received that message.

Your breath is on my neck. All warm and moist. Your body is pressed into me from behind. I can feel every inch of you. Hard and hot and writhing and man. You are manipulating me into giving into you. Into giving you what you want from me.

I don't even remember how you talked me into dancing with you in the first place. But even if all the alarms are ringing inside of me, telling me to just walk away, I can't help but give into you. Maybe this will offer some welcome distraction. Maybe your hand on my dick will make me forget.

I'm hard for you. I am past the point of caring whether you can feel it. I know this is what you want from me. My hard dick and my hard body. My blue eyes and my blond hair. Not the hurt in my eyes or the broken pieces of what used to be me.

I close my eyes and try to focus on how you feel. You turn me around and I try to lose myself in the smell of you and the taste of your sweat on your neck. Your hands are on me, roaming and claiming.

You whisper "You feel so good Jasper!" into my ear and I can feel your words chipping away my willpower.

Before I know it we are at your apartment. You have your arm around my waist, keeping me close to you as you unlock the door.

I can't even remember agreeing to this. But I know what to do now that I am here.

As soon as we are inside I push you back against the door. I am suddenly aggressive and in a hurry. I kiss you roughly all tongue and teeth and I realize I actually enjoy kissing you. I like the way you taste. I fist your shirt and try to pull it off. I just want you naked already. You help me out, breaking our kiss for just a nano-second so you can pull your shirt off. I'm attacking your neck with my lips while my hands are working on unbuttoning your pants.

You gasp and writhe under my touch. I know I am good at giving. I am good at making other people feel good. As soon as your dick is out I drop to my knees and start swallowing you down.

I try to lose myself in the way you hit my throat. The taste and feel of you is overwhelming. You are big. Very big. But I give it my best. But it is not enough. He keeps slipping into my thoughts. How you taste compared to him. How you are bigger.

I release you with a loud obscene POP and sit back on my knees. I wipe the precum and saliva off my lips with the back of my hand and look up at you. You don't even realize that I am too overwhelmed by the thoughts of him to keep you in my mouth. Instead you think I released you so I can have my turn.

Before I can tell you no you have pulled me up by my shoulders and are crushing me to the door. You expertly pull down my pants and briefs and have a finger pushed into my mouth.

"I've been looking at that ass all night. Wondering how it would feel to be buried in it." You whisper in my ear as you push your now saliva-wet digit into my crack. I clench my eyes together and you swallow my cry with your kiss.

I try to push off the door but you think I am play fighting and you push me back chuckling. I finally find my voice and say "Stop!" loud. You freeze immediately. I push against the door and away from you and scramble to right my clothes.

I can't even look at you. I'm fighting tears and don't want you to see them. I don't want to be weak in front of you. But you seem to know. You catch my chin with your hand, forcing me to look at you.

"Hey…" You say, "I'm sorry. I don't want to force you to do anything you're not comfortable with." You sound so calm and unfazed, the complete opposite of me. It feels like I'm the one who's naked, instead of you. You don't even seem to notice your nakedness. Your focus is on me and only me. You look worried. And your empathy is what breaks me.

I can feel the tears starting to run down my cheeks. I want to tell you that it's not you, it's me. But I can't talk so I just shake my head and back away from you. Out of your apartment, out of your life.

I ignore the way you call after me as I leave and speed up to a run as I hit the street. I'm cursing myself on the inside.

I don't want to be broken anymore.

I try not to think about you. My head is already full of him so there's really no more room in it for you. But I do feel bad about the way I treated you. And ashamed that I let you see me at my worst.

It's been a week. And then suddenly you walk into my shop. I don't even notice you at first. But I look up when I can feel my skin tingle. And there you stand.

You almost take my breath away. You smile at me, not the least surprised at finding me there. Your smile is impossible not to return. And I fight the sudden urge to kiss it off you.

You want to take me out on a date you say. But I refuse.

"You know I will keep asking until you say yes…" You say and smile that smile at me. And without waiting for my response you leave my shop. You stop outside the window and wait until you are sure I am watching. That you have my full attention. Then you wink at me. I can't help but smile at you.

It feels uncomfortable. I can't even remember when I smiled last. And now I've done it twice in five minutes.

You are the first person in a long time that has made me smile.

You keep your promise. You are in my shop almost every day now. You drop in, buy something, act all casual and so goddamn cute that I'm finding it harder and harder to refuse you. You don't seem bothered by my rejections. You just keep on smiling and winking at me.

Every day you talk to me like you are on a mission to get to know me. And every day I want to tell you to leave me alone. That I'm not really worth all of this attention. But it feels nice. Too nice for me to cut it off. After all the time I spend with him longing for this kind of attention it's almost addicting to me.

And then one day as I am closing up I realize I haven't seen you all day. I don't want to be bothered by this but I am.

The next day I can't help but look for you whenever the door opens to the shop. But you don't show up that day either.

I'm growing impatient as the days pass. And angry. I hate that I miss you, miss seeing you and your smile and your goddamn wink, but I do. I think about why you haven't been here and I can't help but worry. And that makes me even more angry. I don't want to worry about you. But did something happen to you? Is this why you don't come by anymore?

Four days pass before you show up. I was beginning to think you had given up on me. That you finally decided that I wasn't worth it. But then you are here. And your smile lights up the entire universe and makes my heart beat faster but I don't smile back. I'm angry with you. Angry for making me care and for making me worry.

You make smalltalk as you hand me the money for whatever you are buying today. Like nothing has happened. Like you hadn't dropped off the face of the earth for the last four days. And as I hand you back your change you grab my hand and look me in the eyes.

"I want you to know I have good reasons for not coming…" You say and keep my hand in yours. I look away. I don't want to give in to you.

You continue, "Let me buy you dinner and I'll tell you all about it…" and then you smile at me.

"Don't wink at me…" I say with a low voice. I'm not sure you can even hear me but then my eyes find yours and you laugh. Which finally makes me smile even if I don't want to.

"Sure. No winking. Whatever you say… But can I please take you out?" you say. You look so eager and hopeful. I cannot say no this time. So I nod. Not trusting my voice.

Your reaction makes me want to dig a hole in the ground and hide in it. You fistpump the air and say "YES!" really loudly while laughing. I can see the other people in the shop laugh with you. Including my employees who I know has been betting on whether I would give in to you or not. I just turn my back on it all and pretend not to care about the fuss.

You have brought me to the beach for our date or whatever this is. You look so fucking adorable in shorts and a polo-shirt, very casual and so fitting for you. You are so laidback.

You almost take my breath away with the way you look at me. I try not to let it get to me, but the fight in me is disappearing. I know this is because of you. But I don't let myself dwell on this fact.

We are sitting on a bench eating ice cream, hidden from the rest of the beach by shrubs on each side. But we have an amazing view of the water. The sun is still up but it won't be long before it will be setting.

I am definitely not noticing your tongue licking up the cone whenever the ice is melting too fast for you. No - definitely not noticing that.

You have been chatting all evening. Telling me about yourself. Getting me to tell you things about myself. But you have expertly avoided asking me about him. He's like this big fucking elephant standing next to us that we don't talk about. I can't help but wonder why you don't ask. Aren't you curious?

After a while of chatting we stop talking. We have finished the ice creams and are sitting next to each other enjoying the view. The silence is comfortable and I try not to think too much.

You break the silence suddenly "I know I promised you an explanation for the last four days." You look at me briefly to see if you have my attention and then you go back to looking out over the water.

You look serious. I swallow the lump in my throat and brace myself for the worst kind of news.

"One of my buddies was killed in action in Afghanistan so I had to go home to be at his funeral…" I can hear the hurt in your voice. And have to look away in order to not be swept away by your grief. I know there are a lot of things I could say to you. But none of it will make it better for you.

So I scoot over a little closer to you and put my arm tentatively around your shoulders. "I'm sorry." I say and mean it. I briefly wonder what kind of buddy he was but quickly push that thought out of my head. Now is not the time for jealousy.

You lean into my touch. I can feel your body relaxing and I ignore the swell in my heart over the feeling of how I affect you.

And if I'm honest with myself; the feeling of how you affect me.

You don't buy me dinner that night. We just sit there together for a long time. Not really talking anymore. I give you time. Just as you give me time.

But the next day you are in my shop again asking me if I want to hang out again. There's this old movie showing outside in a park that night. You'll bring the grub and I can bring the blanket you say.

How can I possibly say no when you smile at me that way?

When I arrive at the park that evening you have already found a place for us to sit. It's a good spot. We are reasonably alone but still with a good view of the screen. I don't even know which movie is playing. To be honest I don't care. I'm not really here for the movie.

We eat the sandwiches you've made. I don't tell you how great they are because they are fucking sandwiches. But I can tell by the way you look at me that you know I enjoy them.

We lay back on the blanket next to each other to watch the movie. I can feel the heat of you radiating off of you. Your arm is so close to me it's driving me crazy. I want to reach out and touch you but I'm still holding back.

As if you can sense what I'm thinking about you reach over and grab my hand. You are holding on tightly. I can feel my cheeks heat up with shame. What the fuck is wrong with me that I can't even reach out to touch you?

But you just lean into me and whisper real quiet in my ear "Don't sweat it Jasper." You reach over and smooth my frown between my eyebrows with your thumb. "When you're ready just say you're ready. We'll just go slow. I've told you before that I'm not going to force you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

Then you lean back and refocus on the movie. And leave me fucking confused and happy and angry that I'm so transparent. I don't want to be a basket case. I really wish I could just be with you and not keep guarding my heart so.

But I'm afraid that's just not who I am anymore. I used to be. But not anymore.

We've been out every night since. You've been so patient with me. Only taking what I'm able to give. And you seem satisfied with that. No matter how little I have to give you. Not once have you pushed me. But I'm beginning to think that maybe I should be pushed. I'm not sure I will ever surrender to you on my own.

But I know something is changing in me. You are filling me up to the point where there is no longer room for him in me.

But it was never just about him. He was the last in the line of bad choices and bad boyfriends. I'm so used to being misused that I'm not even sure I know how to be treated well. To be treated like you treat me. Like I'm precious and important and that you need me.

I've never been needed like this before.

Every night we say goodbye to each other I curse myself for not showing you how much I want you. My body is aching to be touched by you. I know you won't do anything before I tell you I am ready. And as the days pass I'm praying I will be able to say it soon.

All you take from me is a kiss. It's slow and short. But filled with promises of how you want to kiss me. How you want to hold me. But you still hold back. You want to make sure that I am the one in control. I am the one who sets the pace.

I can't believe how well you are dealing with a heart that you didn't break. I want to ask you if you have experienced this before, if that is how you know?

We are lying on your couch watching tv. I don't know what we are watching, I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I'm not really watching. I can't figure out how to tell you that I'm ready.

Because I am.

I know with every fiber in my body. And how I am so aware of everything you do. The feel of your body against me. Your approach to me, always so patient.

I want to taste you, I want to lose myself in you. I want your hands on my body and I want your lips on mine.

My head is on your chest and I am halfway on top of you. You are stroking my back while you are focusing on the tv.

I look up at you. Take in your strong features, your long lashes, dark skin and dark eyes. Your mouth starts to smile when you realize that I am studying you but you keep looking at the tv. It's like you know I have something to say.

But I choke up. I can't get the words out, they are stuck in my throat.

You finally look at me. You stop smiling when you see the look on my face.

"Jasper…" You say breathlessly and cup my jaw with your hand. You hold my gaze. I try not to look away.

"Don't force it babe…" You say and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Have you ever had your heart broken?" I start not knowing what else to start with.

You smile a sad smile and slowly nod. "Sure. I've loved and I've lost."

I put my chin on your chest and rake my brain for something more to say. But before I can come up with something you say.

"Look Jasper. I know you've been hurt by someone else. I can tell by the way you carry yourself. But if you'll let me, here's what I'll do; I'll take care of you." You say, grab my chin and pull me towards you.

My mind is spinning but I let you kiss me. Nobody has ever wanted to take care of me before.

But instead of taking it any further you release my lips and rest my forehead against yours. And as I feel your breath wash over my face I let the thought sink in that maybe it's okay for me to be taken care of. For once.

You are sitting on your bed changing your socks. We were on our way to the movies when we were caught in the rain. So we decided to change first. At your place.

My shirt is removed and I'm standing there like a 16 year old teenager ogling you. You are bare-chested. Still so fucking comfortable with being naked. It's so sexy I can't even stand it.

You look like an Adonis sitting there. You are so unaware of how attractive you are to me. How sexy I find you. How I just want to lick you all over.

Just thinking about it makes my mouth water. I lick my lips as my eyes take in the planes of your sculptured shoulders. Of your abs that are begging to be touched. Of your muscled biceps that looks good enough to eat.

I don't even notice you have stopped moving. Not until you say "Jasper. You can't look at me like that and expect me to still go slow…" Your voice is husky. Your gaze is burning holes in me.

I gulp. But I don't stop staring at you.

You get up from the bed and walk slowly towards me. I can see your dick tenting your pants. And I remember how it felt to have it in my mouth. The taste of you. The size of you. And these things makes my own dick strain. I can tell by the look on your face that you have noticed that as well.

You keep coming closer, forcing me backwards towards the wall with your closeness. When I reach the wall you stop. Put your arms on it on each side of my face. Keep me locked in place with your body. But you aren't touching me. You are so close I can feel your heat and I want to reach out and touch you. And I know that that is why you're not touching me. I have to be the one to set the pace.

But you clearly want me. Your nose is just millimeters from the place where my shoulder and neck meets and you breathe me in. That action alone makes me twitch and close my eyes. I am surrounded by you. You are filling all my senses with you; your smell and your nearness.

And I finally give in. I tentatively reach out to you. I put my hand on your chest. You hiss and bite your lip. But your eyes are strained on mine. You look like you don't want to miss a thing. I keep my eyes on my hand. I revel in the feel of you under my hand. Stroking your abs and your chest, circling your nipple. You let me explore at my own speed.

It's not enough; one hand is not enough. I grab your pocket with my other hand and pull you towards me. We both gasp as our hips make contact and the feeling of our dicks against each other is messing with my head.

You lean into me, put your forehead against mine.

"Please Jasper! You are killing me here…" You say and I can feel your muscles trembling to hold back. "Please just… Tell me you're ready. I won't do anything before you say it." You say and your lips are right there, so close to me that I can almost taste you. If I pursed my lips I would touch yours.

And before I even realize what I'm doing I'm panting "I'm ready. I'm so ready for you…" and you walk into me with everything you have and catch my lips.

Your kiss is like fire. You burn through me leaving nothing but desire and love.

I want you. I want you so bad. I kiss you back with everything in me. My hands are holding on to you like I'm afraid you'll leave. But I know you won't. I understand now that I know you'll keep your promises.

You touch my body like you are worshipping me. You take your time touching and tasting. You engulf me in your mouth and then your tongue is on my balls. You make me sweat and writhe and fist the sheets.

You kiss me and your lips and arms are everywhere. I can't see straight. I am completely lost in how you make me feel.

You take your time preparing me. Your eyes keep wandering between my face and where your fingers are disappearing into me. I try not to shut my eyes but it's near impossible with how you make me feel. It's so intense. But I really want to look you in the eyes. I need you to see that I wasn't lying when I told you I was ready.

You are finally reaching for the condom. I can see your hands shaking from want but you're still taking your time. And I don't know if it is a good or a bad thing as it is giving me time to think. And suddenly I'm scared. I haven't been with anybody in a long time. And you are so big. I put my hand on our chest and you stop immediately. You look at me worried.

I roll out of the bed and I am freaking out. You follow me and put your arms around me from behind. "Calm down Jasper." you say and kiss me softly on the neck.

I close my eyes and feel so ashamed. I can't believe how difficult this is. I can feel your slick dick against my crack. You are still hard and I can't believe you still want me after this.

I turn around in your arms. The expression on your face makes me knees crumble. You catch me and grab hold of our dicks. You hold me up with one arm and the other is stroking us. I hadn't realized until now that I am still hard as well. I am panting against you.

"You still want this. Stop thinking so hard. Just feel…" You say and continue while you suck on my earlobe "It's just me. I want to make you feel good. I want to take care of you…" and the combination of your words in my ear and your touch is pushing me towards the edge. I grab hold of your neck and kiss you hard. It's all tongue and teeth and like the first time we kissed. I'm frantically pushing myself against you dying for some friction. I know I won't be able to tell you I'm ready again instead I'm showing it to you.

You let go of my dick and grab hold of my thighs. I hadn't realized how strong you are until you lift me easily and fold my legs around your waist. You are manipulating my body like I weigh nothing and I feel myself surrendering to you.

"This time I won't let you get away… " you say with a devious smirk and then you begin to lower me onto you.

The stretch and the burn are forgotten as I look into your eyes. I focus on you, the sounds you make and how good it feels to finally have you in me.

You walk us over to the bed and you set us down on the bed. You keep kissing me as you begin to move in me. Your moves are slow and calculating and so fucking right.

I'm right there. I'm arching my back, pushing down onto you. Using my feet on your ass to tell you to speed things up. I want to be devoured by you.

Your dick is touching that place in me with every move and I know I'm about to lose it. My arms are around you, keeping close and with one last push I'm there.

I come hard and I'm making this strange noise that I know I've never made before. I can feel the heat from my come on my chest and abdomen and I'm sure that I've painted you as well.

Your movements are growing frantic and I am just in time to see you fall apart as I open my eyes. You are spectacular. You hold me tight as you ride out your orgasm and say my name over and over. Until you are spend and collapse against me.

Our chests are both heaving and we're sticky and sweaty. But I can't help but grin. My limps feel like jelly and the feel of your weight on me is delicious.

I want to kiss you and do it again. But I am content with just lying here with you for now.

Our breaths slowly return to normal and you finally move. You ease your weight on your elbows and grin down at me. Your hand reverently brushes my hair away from my sweaty forehead and you kiss me sweetly.

You look at me like I am the only thing in the universe. And I know I have surrendered to you. I am giving it up to you completely.

I realize that I really am ready for you to take care of me.

A/N:

This Jasper just breaks my heart…

I realize this is an unusual pairing but it felt right to me.

So did you guys like it? Review and tell me so I won't be scared away from writing slash forever…

Oh and by the way, in case you guys hadn't noticed this is very much inspired by the song "Take Care" by Drake (feat. Rihanna). If you like this o/s you should look up the lyrics to that song… :)