Today started out like any other, I woke up feeling as though I was missing something. Without looking in a mirror I knew that my face was red and splotchy, I had been up all night crying over my Fiancé, sorry EX-Fiancé. He left me for my cousin, there was no reason given no kind of closure just a knock on my door and an "I can't be with you anymore, its over". I close my eyes as I feel the pain wash over me again. This is my life, I have closed myself off, I have become a shell of the person I used to be. I know this and yet I can't seem to even care enough to change or even try. I feel the familiar tingle of tears in my eyes as I hear a knock at my door, without looking over I know it is my father.

Dad stuck his head through the door and smiled softly "morning princess" When I didn't make a move he came in and closed the door behind him before perching himself on the edge of my bed. Placing his big warm hands on my arm he looked down at me, one look at me and he saw what I tried to hide, the pain. He sighed softly before he took my hand in his and bought it to his lips kissing my knuckle "bad night huh?" he said as he looked down at running his thumb across the back of my knuckles. I shook my head not trusting my own voice, I turned away as the first of the tears ran down my cheek I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath "da..daddy" I breathed "why wont it stop hurting?" It was the same question I asked every time he came in here early in the morning and right on que I got the same answer I always get "because Princess, fate has bigger and better plans for you, and you need to trust in that" I had no idea what he ment, I never did. I had tried asking him a few times but he always told me to be patient and when it was time I would know.

Before too long he had leant forward and kissed my cheek "il be down stairs princess, come down and have breakfast with us, I am finally teaching your brother to make my famous pancakes and I know he would want you to try them" I nodded slightly and turned to face him "I love you daddy" He smiled and gave my hand a squeeze before standing up and waking to the door "love you too.." he said as he walked out and closed the door behind him.

I laid there a little while longer and just listened to the sounds of the house, I could hear my father down stairs making coffee and the shuffle of feet as my mother went down stairs, and there was the unmistakable sound of my brother Seth laughing. That was the thing about him, he was always happy no matter what was going on around him he always had a smile for everyone even me at the lowest point. He never held anything against me and always took my side when others would talk about me. In truth he was not only my brother but he was my best friend.

With a sigh I threw the covers off me, placed my feet on the floor and stood up. Grabbing my robe I head towards the door opening it slowly. My feet are sluggish as is everything about me I close my door behind me and make my way to the bathroom, splashing my water on my face I feel a little more awake. I sigh once more as I look into the mirror, the face looking back at me I don't recognise. It has black shadows under her eyes, her fair is limp and lifeless hanging below her shoulders and her eyes there is nothing in them but fear. "this is me" I whisper as the image on the mirror repeats with me. I look away and walk down stairs, immediately assaulted by the smell of burnt pancakes.

I walk into the kitchen, as my brother looks up "morning sis" he says in his cheery voice, "morning" I mumble as I walk past him to get a mug of coffee. I take it to the counter and add sugar and milk, bring it to my lips I take a sip and sigh. Seth looked over at me and gave me a smile before putting his arms around my shoulders, he had grown so much if you didn't know he was only 15 you would think that he was my older brother. I look up at him and give him the best smile I could muster, but it came out more as a grimace, he leant down and kissed my forhead "it will get easier" he whispered before he let me go. I nodded slightly and walked over to the other side and sat on the stool that was there. I took another sip and looked over at him "so Dad finally gave in and let you in on the secret huh?" I asked as I took another sip of coffee. Seth nodded excitedly he looked like once of those doggies on the dashboard, you know that ones that nod and wiggle their heads as you drive along? Yeah those that's what he reminded me of, I laughed softly and shook my head as I heard him talk "you bet he did, I guess he was finally sick of me eating so many and always bugging him to teach me" he laughed. I nodded softly and looked up at him "well you do eat enough for 3 people" I grinned over at him "hey" he answered "that's not true, its more like 2 and a half" he grinned and laughed. I shook my head and just smiled. Trust Seth to be able to make me smile. "Seth!" Dad called "are you watching these or do you plan on eating charcoal?" I smiled a little drinking my coffee. "No im watching them" to prove his point he turned and went back to the pan and flipped them over "see nice and golden brown the way they should be" Dad laughed and shook his head letting him go.

Just as we were about to all sit down at the table to eat there was a knock on the door, it was Jacob Black. He was Seth's best friend and a family friend. "hey Jake!" Seth all but yelled as he looked up "come in bro, we're about to eat breakfast. You want some? There is heaps here" he grinned as he sat down across from me at the table. Jacob walked in and grinned "sure, I could eat" I rolled my eyes "what is it you with you boy's all you ever do is eat" I shook my head as I started to fill my plate with pancakes. Jake looked over at me as he sat down "says you who just put what 5 on her plate" I wiggled his eyebrows at me and laughed. I jabbed him with my elbow and shook my head "what? I havn't eaten since last night and plus Seth made these ones " I looked over at my brother who was grinning with pride. Jacob looked up at Seth and rose his eyebrow questioningly "you made these" he nodded towards the stacks of pancakes. Seth nodded "yep sure did, dad FINALLY taught me how to make them like he does" he laughed and filled his plate. Jacob took 4 and placed them on his plate "well in that case, if I don't make it through these without dying please let my dad know that I love him" he laughed and took a bite. I rolled my eyes, but my mother and Father and laughed, Seth just threw a pancake at him and laughed.

Breakfast was nice, I had forgotten what it was like to have family around. I had missed this, is my attempts to heal my heart and hide away from the world I had missed what was most important family. I looked around the table once I was done eating and smiled a soft but genuine smile. Seth looked over at me and winked before grinning. I shook my head and stood up clearing off the table. I took them all to the kitchen, mum came in behind me "leave them honey il do them" she said as she made her way around putting everything away "no its ok, Il do them you go and see if you can finally convince Dad into taking you to that craft thing you want to see" I looked over and smiled. Mum smiled back and kissed my forehead "you know that's not a bad idea" he chuckled and made her way out of the kitchen. I turned my attention back to the sink and began to fill it up with hot water and liquid soap. "Leah!" I heard my father called, I turned the water off and walked out to the table where he was still sitting "yes?" I asked looking over at him and then my mother, she winked at me and I had to contain the smile that was threating to take over my face. "What is this about you kicking your mother and I out of the house?" I bit my bottom lip and looked over at him trying not to laugh "not kicking you out just suggesting that you get out of the house" I laughed. Dad looked over at me and smiled "after that smile and laugh, I think I could walk on water" he laughed and shook his head pushing standing up and walking towards me "go and get ready Sue, looks like we are going out" he grinned and pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head "there's that daughter I missed, good to see she is making a come back" he teased lovingly. I looked up at him "love you too Daddy" I grinned as I buried my face back in his chest and took a breath before stepping back and smiling "now go have fun, and don't forget don't take your eyes off mum while you are there or you will never find her" I laughed shaking my head slightly. My father laughed "it's a deal" he smiled as I pulled away and walked back into the kitchen to do the dishes.

"hey sis. We're going to the beach do you want to come?" Seth called out as I walked out of the kitchen towards the living room. I looked over him sitting with Jacob playing one of his many video games. "I don't know Seth.." I said as I looked between them. Jacob looked up "come on Lee you need to get out of the house your starting to look like one of the pale faces in Forks" he winked and laughed. I rolled my eyes "sure, let me get changed" Seth grinned and went back to his game "well hurry up, we are meeting up with Quil and Embry" I rolled my eyes and started up to my room. Once I got changed I packed a bag, with a towel and a book. I went back down stairs and called out "ok let's go". Seth looked up and grinned before hitting pause and turning off the tv. Jacob stood up and walked out of the house "lets go" he grinned as he took his phone from his pocket and texted his friends. I closed the door behind me and started walking.

Getting to the beach I found a nice spot and knelt down before pulling my towel out of my bag and laying it in the sand. I pulled off my shirt putting it into my bag and getting out my book. Laying back I opened my book and began to read "SIS!" Seth called, I looked up a split second before his shirt hit me in the face. I looked over at him and frowned "gee thanks for the heads up" I rolled my eyes. Seth just grinned and took off towards the water where Jacob and his friends were. I folded Seth's shirt and put it under my head before lifted my book again to pick up where I left off.

"go away!" I heard Jacob yell. He must have been mad because it looked like he was shaking, I put my book down and got up "what in flying hell is going on?" I asked as I stormed down the beach towards Jacob, Seth and a few boys I knew as Sam's friends. They looked over at me "its don't concern you Clearwater" I narrowed my eyes at them and got between them "the hell it doesn't, that is my little brother you seem to be yelling at" I stated as I stood up a little straighter, I could feel the anger roll off me. I could handle just about anything thrown at me, but when it came to MY baby brother there was going to be blood shed. "well, what the hell do you have to say?" I asked as I looked between the boys, I knew their names but I couldn't think right at that moment. I looked over at the taller one "well..?" I asked again. He just stood there and stared at me "fuck!" he screamed before he closed his hands into fists and began shaking. I didn't know what was going on, but I put my arms out to either side and started walking back "I don't know what the hell your on but get the hell away from here!" Ahh that's right, it was Paul and Jared. Jared took one looked at Paul and just laughed. Whatever what going on he thought it was absolutely hilarious, I looked over my shoulder at Seth "we are going home. Now!" I looked back over at Paul as his shaking got less, he was looking at me, directly at me in a way that I could only describe as a blind man seeing for the first time. I tore my eyes away from him and started up the beach behind the boys.