Two Days of Hell

"AHH CHOO!" Merlin covered his mouth and nose as he sneezed; sitting at his desk Arthur looked up at his Manservant. Slightly runny nose, puffed eyes, and slightly sweating forehead.

"Sorry" Merlin said sniffing, as he turned back to the task of making Arthur's bed.

"If you've got snot on those blankets I'll wrap you in them for a week" Arthur replied, but in a tone that said he was joking.

"Arthur that's disgusting" Merlin replied, his nose starting to twitch again. Arthur prepared himself, but Merlin managed to get it under control.

"Look Merlin, I know your all about doing your duties through sickness and health, but once you've done the bed I want you to go to Gaius, see if he can give you something to help" Arthur said.

"I'm fine"

"Merlin, you've been in here an hour, you've sneezed on my breakfast, run out twice to be sick, and add to the fact you look like hell, I don't need to be a physician to realise you are emphatically not fine" Arthur replied.

"Then who's going to do the rest of your chores?" asked Merlin.

"God forgive me, but I can call George in, you're not the only servant in the castle Merlin" Arthur replied.

"I'm the only Kings servant in the castle" Merlin retorted.

"Yes, and at the moment your King is actually becoming concerned" Arthur said. Merlin blinked and smiled.

"That you might easily end up turning my bed covers into a breeding ground for Merlin's snot collections" Arthur finished.

"It'd add some colour to them, you have to admit" Merlin replied, looking down at the white sheets. Arthur grinned despite himself.

"Merlin, Go, I'm sure I can go one or two days without your services" Arthur said. Merlin sighed and finished tucking in the last of the bed sheets.

"I'll try to get back later" Merlin said. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"You can come back when Gaius says you can alright" Arthur replied.

"Alright, alright" Merlin grumbled, then with a bow turned to walk out.

"And Merlin" Arthur called. Merlin turned back to him.

"Get well soon" he said. Merlin smiled again then turned and left the room.

Merlin made his way back to Gaius's chambers, slowly opening the door, and walking in, Gaius looking up at him.

"Good lord, I told you to rest didn't I" Gaius said standing, guiding Merlin to the small stool he sat on when they had dinner.

"At least you had sense enough to come back here" he added as he placed a hand on Merlin's forehead.

"Yeah, I think I made it in time as well" Merlin agreed. It sounded better than I didn't want to but Arthur ordered me at any rate.

"Well you have a fever, have you been sick?"

"Twice" Merlin said.

"Headache?"

"Yes"

"How have your stools been?"

"Gaius!" Merlin protested.

"Merlin, at the moment I am not your guardian, I am your physician" Gaius told him. Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Arthur's using them for fertilizer" he replied.

"I see. Well there's really not a lot I can do, it seems you have the flu, so all I can prescribe is a lot of rest, plenty of water and chicken broth" Gaius said.

"I could use magic to get rid of this" Merlin suggested.

"Yes and then you could explain to Arthur how you miraculously recovered in a few short hours. Merlin let it be, it's a cold, there are no threats at the moment. Enjoy yourself, sleep in a little, you have earned it" Gaius said. Merlin was about to protest, but strangely, the idea didn't seem to be all that bad.

"A couple of days" Merlin replied. Gaius nodded.

"Good, now off to bed with you, I'll be in later with some broth" he said, Merlin got up off the stool and made his way up the small set of stairs into his room where he closed the shutters, opened the window slightly, undressed and climbed into bed.

"Of course sire, if your current manservant were here, I could properly teach him the art of polishing brass. For example, if you use the cloth thusly you will notice the slight sheen the brass develops, but if you do it this way, you see, the brass is both clean and the sheen is also less defined providing more of a professional quality to it" George said. Arthur was sat at his desk open mouthed.

"Really? That's… so interesting" Arthur managed to say, all he had asked at the start of the lecture was : "how long will it be before my armour is clean?"

"Indeed, but surprisingly, when it comes to weapons, swords for instance, if you watch-" George began, Arthur held up his hand.

"No.. no its quite alright, I believe you have made your point" Arthur said.

"As you wish sire" George said, and began to polish the sword in silence. Arthur slowly reached forwards, picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and bit into it. George looked up at him. Arthur chewed for several moments, then slowly paused. He gulped and blinked.

"Is something wrong?" Arthur asked.

"Sire, that apple, is it from the trees in the garden or from the market?" George asked.

"Does it matter?" asked Arthur, then mentally impaled himself on his sword.

"why of course it matters, You see those sold in the market are liable to have been there for at least several days before being sold to the public, while those on the trees will be quite fresh, therefore retaining a lot of their moisture, while those in the market may appear to be dry, almost tasteless in comparison" George told him. Arthur nodded slowly and put the apple down on the table.

"Sire!" George said, eyes wide. Arthur snatched the apple back up.

"What? What I do? What?"

"you should never eat food that has touched a bare table, no telling what you might pick up from it" George told him.

"What?" Arthur actually squeaked.

"Do you have any idea how many dangerous substances can cross the surface of a table, why any number of –"

"George"

"Sire"

"Polish the sword… please" Arthur said. George took a deep breath.

"Very well sire, but if you become ill from eating that apple, please remember I did warn you"

"Oh I'll remember.. I'll remember I promise" Arthur vowed. "I will take that knowledge to my grave" he added. George nodded and turned away, not seeing Arthur glaring at him hands open in a choke hold, however he quickly composed himself when George turned back briefly, he forced what he hoped was a genuine looking smile, as he picked up the quill and ink, quietly terrified George would have something to say on the merits of using a sharpened bird feather to write.

"Sire! Do you know the germs Birds carry on them?" he mentally heard George's voice in his head.

And it had only been one hour.

Merlin, despite the heaviness of his eyes found himself tossing and turning, unable to sleep. Slowly he looked at the door as Gaius walked in, carrying a pail of water.

"Can't sleep?" asked Gaius kindly.

"No, one minute I'm hot, then I'm freezing, then I'm alright but the bed is uncomfortable…" Merlin grumbled.

"Were you never sick as a child?" asked Gaius.

"Of course. One year I got it so bad I was in bed for a fortnight. Well on the floor. I never had a bed" he replied. Gaius nodded.

"And how did you sleep in those times?" asked Gaius.

"My mother would tell me stories" Merlin replied.

"Ahh" Gaius smiled. "Well, If you want I know a few stories, might not be up to the standards of your mothers, but perhaps it might help?" he offered. Merlin smiled, then nodded. Why not? Let me be taken care of for a change he thought.

"Lets see… ahh, yes. Have you heard of the great deer called Solace?" Gaius asked.

"No" Merlin admitted.

"Well, once, long ago, Camelot was just a small village, this was oh, two, three hundred years ago" Gaius said. "Anyways, the people were simple, much like you in a way-"

Merlin blinked, but Gaius completely missed his insult.

"A kind, generous people, helping their neighbours, until one day, a giant deer appeared in the nearby forest. Its antlers were huge, its eyes were like those of royalty. It was said that this was Solace, the king of all deer" Gaius said. "The villagers worshiped it, fed and watered it, and it was quite content to remain in the village, but it soon became apparent that it was becoming restless. Every so often, with increasing duration it would wonder into the forest, only to return a day or two later. The villagers wondered what was happening to their deer king, and one day two of them followed it" Gaius said.

"And?" asked Merlin.

"Well, it turned out the deer didn't like this, so it beat its hoofs and shook its antlers at them, causing them to flee, before it checked on its babies"

"Awwww" Merlin said with a smile. Gaius nodded in agreement.

"Yes. Anyways, when the deer returned to the village the following day, they shot it and ate it" Gaius finished proudly. Merlin blinked, a look of confusion on his face.

"They wha?" Merlin asked.

"well, when it had threatened the villagers they got it into their heads it was insane and might attack someone" Gaius explained. "Anyways, did that story help?" asked Gaius with a smile.

"No…" Merlin replied with a wail. "The Deer got eaten!" he added.

"Well, yes… I suppose I might have changed the ending" Gaius admitted. "But there is a moral to this story"

"Yeah, don't eat deer's with babies!" Merlin yelled.

"No: don't judge a book by its cover" Gaius replied gruffly as he stood, he huffed again and muttered as he walked out, and Merlin was more awake than ever.

"Arthur I need to talk to-" Gwen said as she knocked and entered his chambers. Arthur looked up at her, holding a breast plate, grinning like a mad man

"Look Gwen! Smudge!" he wiped it over "no smudge!"

"Are you alright?" she asked gently, stepping forwards, knocking one of the pieces of armour to the floor. Arthur snatched it up, twisting it around in his hands, examining it closely.

"Arthur?" Gwen asked again. Arthur looked up as George entered placing some food on the table. Gwen smiled at him.

"Thank you George, ermm might I be permitted to speak to our king alone?" she requested.

"Sire?" asked George.

"Thank you George, its fine" Arthur said. George did not look happy, but left the room closing the door.

"Gwen I want Merlin back" Arthur said.

"Arthur. Its been a day… not even that, and I'm here to inform you Gaius says Merlin will be out of action at least until Thursday" she said.

"But it's Tuesday" Arthur said.

"Yes" Gwen nodded as Arthur moved to the table and then picked up some of the food. He went to take a bite then stopped. Gwen becoming more concerned by the second.

"Arthur?" she prompted.

"Gwen you have to help me. He's killing me!" Arthur said.

"Who is?"

"George!"

"What?"

"I've tried. I've tried so damned hard to be nice to him, but he's so… damned… boring its killing me" he said. "yes sire, no sire, have you seen the proper way to properly clean brass sire? Let me show you sire, don't eat apples from the market Sire, don't eat food when it's fallen on the table sire"

"Arthur, I'm sure he's not that bad" Gwen said.

"He is. He is! he is!" Arthur replied stamping his feet. "Oh gods.. look at me Gwen. I feel like a nervous wreck"

"You look like one as well actually" she replied.

"This isn't funny Gwen. I can't say anything to him that would hurt his feelings, but at the moment I want to hand him an anvil and push him off a cliff!" Arthur said. Gwen however was doubled over. Arthur sighing as he waited. Finally she composed herself, looked at Arthur, then doubled over again.

"In your own time Gwen, I can wait" Arthur replied.

"I'm sorry Arthur, but… come on you have to admit, this is funny" she said. Arthur glared at her.

"This is Merlin's fault" he muttered.

"How'd you figure that out?" asked Gwen.

"He got sick just so he could slack off" Arthur said.

"Arthur, can you stop for one moment and listen to yourself?" she asked. "Merlin is ill, it happens, and you can't plan it" she said.

"I know. I just… I miss him Gwen, and you must not tell him I told you that" he added.

"not a word" she replied. "So anyways, as I was saying, Merlin is out at least until Thursday" she said.

"I can't do it Gwen. I can't spend another day here with him… and expect to keep my sanity" Arthur said.

"Arthur it's one day" Gwen said.

"I know!"

"What?" she asked.

"We'll go hunting" Arthur said. Gwen raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, but if George comes back with an arrow in his head I'll know what really happened" she replied.

Merlin ate his broth silently, he had asked Gaius for something to read if possible, just so he wouldn't get bored. Gaius had brought the broth and several volumes on the History of the Pendragons, the Rise of the five Kingdoms and other things. Merlin had thanked him, opened the first book and had a headache at the end of the first page of the first book. Yes, light reading material indeed. Slowly he had closed the book and put them on the floor next to the bed.

"I'm going to bed now Merlin, don't stay up reading too late!" Gaius called in.

"I won't!" Merlin called back. "Believe me" he muttered.

"what was that?" Gaius called back.

"I said I'll be going to sleep in a bit" Merlin said.

"good, goodnight" Gaius called.

"Goodnight!" Merlin called back. The room fell into silence. And Merlin sat the empty bowl down on the small nightstand then magically extinguished the candle. He settled down into bed and closed his eyes. He lay there for nearly twenty minuets before he got a familiar sensation in his stomach.

"Great" he muttered as he turned over. He ignored it as best he could, but after few more minuets it began to overwhelm him. Sighing he got up, went to the small bucket in the corner to pee, before turning. Unfortunately in the darkness and his sleepy state he had completely forgotten the books, which he promptly tripped over, sending them, the side table and himself crashing to the floor. He managed to catch the bowl with magic and set it down gently on the bed, even as Gaius ran in.

"What the devil happened? Did you collapse?" he asked concerned.

"No, I tripped" Merlin replied standing up, and picking the books up. He winced as he went to his bed.

"Are you sure you're alright?" asked Gaius.

"Gaius I'm fine, I just tripped" Merlin assured him. He smiled to Gaius, then sat on the bed, the smile fading as there was a loud crack.

"Ow….." he muttered.

"Merlin?" asked Gaius.

"I think I broke the bowl" Merlin said with a grimace. "OW!" he emphasized. Gaius rolled his eyes.

"You sat on it didn't you"

"Yes" he replied with a pained squeak.

"It smashed didn't it" Gaius asked.

"Yes" this time the pain was hitting him. Gaius began to laugh.

"I think Merlin you can use magic in this instance" Gaius assured him, before he walked out.

Forty minuets later, the bowl fragments successfully extracted Merlin lay in bed going over the day's events. Sent home by Arthur, a really not useful story from Gaius, two more bouts of sickness, tripping over spraining his ankle and getting a bowl break under his backside.

"And I thought protecting Arthur was dangerous" he muttered, but thankfully, sleep finally overtook him.