Main Pairing: Rochu (Ivan x Yao) | Genre: Romantica, Humour | Rating: R18

Synopsis: Ivan discovers a set of commemorative stamps for Yao's 60th anniversary from Pakistan that Yao has framed up in his bedroom. Feeling threatened by Yao's new 'best friend', Ivan comes up with drastic measures to ensure that his little sunflower will only grow in his garden.

Meant to be a continuation from "Priceless", but can be read as a standalone story.

Rating: R-18 for explicit description of male-on-male coupling.

Warning: MPreg (Yao), Crossdressing (Yao)

Yao gets pregnant in the story, but for those who are worried about having to read 'details' about the pregnancy, don't worry, there will be no mention at all about the 'giving birth process' or 'baby bump'. Writing this story is merely to satisfy my desire for a plotline involving Yao being made pregnant by Ivan XD

Disclaimer: The following story is a derivative work of APH and shares no relation to actual countries, political ideologies, history or events. Characters are copyright to Hidekaz Himaruya, but the storyline and writing are copyright to me. You may share the link to my blog or blog post, but you may not repost my writings without my permission.

Chapter 1: A Green-Eyed Monster

It was a swelteringly hot night, the heat made far worst for Wang Yao by the stifling smells of floral-scented perfume that hung heavily in the air, and the redness of the curtains that closed in around him. His silk crimson gown clung to his skin, its extensive embroideries of phoenixes and flowers, coupled with the heavy scarlet veil and gold head dress on his head, weighing down on him. He sighed as he wondered how much longer he would have to sit around waiting. There was a clock in the hotel room, but he could not see anything with the opaque veil covering his face. He did not want to remove it, knowing he would have a hard time putting it back without knocking his head gear over.

Yao wished to goodness that he had not agreed to hold a Chinese-style wedding. But between a frilly white princess gown and a modest but elegant Chinese bridal dress, he felt he would be more comfortable with the latter. Ivan Braginski did not mind either way, as long as he got to see Yao dressed as his bride on their wedding day. It was easy for him to make such demands, considering that he only had to wear a western suit.

Little flutters in his stomach told him that he was not alone with his annoyance. He caressed his abdomen gently and cooed, "Hush, baby, Mama's hungry too. Be patient aru. Papa will bring us dinner soon."

Oh heavens. Mama. He had called himself Mama, despite being a man through-and-through. Then again, he could not possibly call himself Papa, not when baby was in his stomach… uh… womb. He had a womb. Bizarre as it seemed, his gynaecologist had pronounced it true, and was right now, probably holed up in some obscure lab, trying to mate male mice with each other to research on this "miracle". He could not fathom how the doctor could possibly accept that it was possible for a human male to get pregnant or even to grow a womb, yet disagree with the existence of magic.

He felt a twinge of sympathy for the zealous doctor, who would no doubt be wasting much resources and effort on pointless research, when a simple wave of Opium's wand had been the reason for his bizarre journey to motherhood. Well, that, coupled with Ivan's contributions. Then again, if he had explained to his doctor the pedigree of this ludicrosity, the doctor might send him to an asylum instead. After all, the whole situation had been so surreal that even now, he could hardly believe that he had to tie the knot with Ivan Braginski in a shotgun marriage.

It all began one fine afternoon four months ago, when Yao had suddenly taken it into his head to re-decorate his room. He took down his old Chinese scrolls and paintings and replaced them with new ones. Then he hung up a set of stamps encased in glass, with intrinsic Islamic carvings on the wooden frame. It was a beautiful ornament on its own, but terribly out of place among the Chinese artworks. Ivan strolled over to it and stared at it suspiciously.

"What is this?" he asked.

Yao beamed proudly. "It's a set of souvenir stamps that Pakistan released in commemoration of my 60th anniversary. Exotic, isn't it?"

Ivan let out a derisive hiss. "I think my Matryoshka dolls are far more exotic da."

"Matryoshka dolls are very unique indeed," Yao nodded, "but I already have so many of them around my house aru. It would be nice to have something different. Besides, I can't possibly hang a Matryoshka doll on my wall." He laughed good-naturedly, pausing when he saw a cloud of purple haze around Ivan's head.

"Are you saying that you're sick of me? Kolkolkolkol~

"Aiya, of course not! You're not a Matryoshka doll, are you? I merely said that it would be nice to have something new in my house, and this is purely in the context of home decoration aru!"

Ivan was not pacified.

"Why did Pakistan give you an anniversary present?" he demanded. "Anniversary presents should only be given by me da."

"Well, I don't seem to recall you giving me anything grand for my 60th Anniversary, except a ring in a most unbecoming manner aru," Yao said huffily as he recalled the unpleasant memory of having a ring shoved down his privates.

"What? I gave you myself! There can't be a grander present than that," Ivan protested. "Besides, you were the one who prevented me from announcing our union."

"And a good thing I did. It would have been most embarrassing otherwise," Yao said impatiently.

Ivan's frown softened, and he adopted his "I'm a hurt teddy bear" look, much to Yao's apprehension.

"Does marrying me bring you much embarrassment da?" Ivan's voice wobbled. He took hold of Yao's sleeve and tugged it pitifully. The immediate effect was a sympathetic gaze and tender strokes on his cheek from a guilty Yao.

"Aiya, of course not. But I just don't see a necessity to make headlines out of it. Besides, nations theoretically don't marry, unless they merge. I don't want to cause any misunderstandings aru."

Ivan sulked. Indeed, he knew that no amount of whining, tears or yandere transformations would convince Yao that becoming one with Russia was a good thing.

"Don't look so upset aru," Yao reached up and ruffled his hair affectionately. "I'm taking Pakistan to tour the Forbidden City later. You can come with us," Yao said brightly.

Unfortunately, the treat did not go down well with Ivan, who practically jumped up and bellowed, "Pakistan again?" Yao drew his hand away in alarm.

"His boss is here to sign a treaty with my boss. It's only polite that I play host to him aru. What have you got against poor Pakistan anyway? He's a great friend of mine and I expect you to be nice to him too aru!" Yao huffed.

Ivan sulked and pouted. "It's hard enough to share you with India and Brazil without having to deal with this so-called good friend of yours da!"

"Share… share me?" Yao gasped, scandalized at the inappropriate usage of such a suggestive word. "If you're referring to BRIC, I don't recall you not protesting against it when you reaped all those economic benefits. It's a business partnership aru! Stop having filthy thoughts in your head!"

"What about Pakistan? Your relationship surely suggests more than a business partnership da!"

"Of course," Yao boldly admitted, to Ivan's despair. "We have been firm friends for decades. He stuck by my side even when you deserted me aru. He's my best friend; there is no doubt about it."

Ivan goggled at him speechlessly, torn between disbelief, fury and wretchedness.

"I'm running late aru," Yao collected his bag and slung it over his shoulders. "Are you coming along or not?"

Gruesome images surfaced in his head as Ivan seriously contemplated sneaking up on Pakistan when Yao was not looking, and breaking his neck with his water pipe. He had greatly disliked that boyfriend-stealer after he kept opposing him during his brief fall-out with Yao. It would be a great opportunity to rid a thorn in his flesh.

But his sensible side told him that the consequences would be dire. Yao knew him inside out, and would certainly recognize him as the culprit, no matter how much he tried to deny it. There would be no more days of peace thereafter if Yao decided to punish him, or worst, leave him. Furthermore, giving the self-proclaimed hero Alfred an excuse to wage war on him would be the pinnacle of all troubles. No, he could not let a moment of rashness destroy the loving relationship and blissful life that he had so carefully rebuilt with Yao. He had to devise a cleverer and more steadfast plan, a foolproof way to bind Yao to his side, forever and always.

"Ivan, are you listening to me?" Yao waved his hands in front of Ivan's face.

"I'll give it a miss," Ivan said.

Yao looked slightly disappointed. "If you get to know Pakistan better, I'm sure you'll like him too. He's a very loyal friend."

"It's all right, you go and enjoy yourself. I have important things to do. Kolkolkolkol~"

Yao arched an eyebrow in surprise, as Ivan quickly stifled his chuckle.

"All right, see you later," Yao marched off for the door. It would not be long before he regretted not taking the evil glint in Ivan's eyes seriously.

"Ivan, I'm home~" Yao called out as he entered his house, having dropped Pakistan off at his hotel. He cast a sweeping glance around his living room, and was most appalled to find a giant white cocoon suspended from the middle of his ceiling. Ivan was nowhere in sight.

He moved towards it cautiously, watchful eyes trying to detect movement. The rope that it was suspended from moved slightly, suggesting that whatever was inside the cocoon was alive and moving, for the windows were shut and there could not possibly be wind. He prodded it nervously. Then he touched it with a hand, finding it strangely warm. Suddenly, he drew his hand away as though he had been scalded. He heard a squeak from the bottom of the cocoon.

"Help!"

"There's someone inside?" Yao cried. With slick Kung-fu moves, he flew up to the ceiling and sent a powerful kick at the rope. It broke, and down went the cocoon, along with a scream. Having made a smooth descend, Yao unrolled the cocoon with as much haste as he could. Layers of perforated white cloth fell apart (at least the psycho who did this had the heart to not suffocate his victim), revealing a strange fellow clad in a white table cloth and gladiator sandals, with tousled blond hair and what looked like rumpled feathery wings attached to his shoulders.

He turned the wretched fellow's head towards him, and received another shock of his life. The man had immensely bushy eyebrows, the bushiest he had ever seen.

"Aiya! Arthur Kirkland! What are you doing here in this ridiculous outfit aru?" Yao grabbed his shoulders and made him sit up. The Englishman stared back blankly at him, still trying to make sense of his newly righted-up world. Realizing that he was not going to get a word out of him just yet, Yao leaned him carefully against the coffee table. Then he stood up and looked around for signs of burglary. Perhaps Arthur had been caught because he came to visit when the burglar struck.

Deciding that it would be safer to arm himself, he ran stealthily to the kitchen in search for his Chinese wok. For the third time in minutes, his poor heart nearly jumped out of his chest. Ivan stood beside his lit gas stove, with his water pipe poised over the flames, already scorched to red-hot. Even with a thick purple haze that enveloped his head, Yao could clearly see flames reflected in his violet eyes, casting a devilish aura. Yao stared at this frightening sight, entranced.

Ivan turned towards him. The water pipe dropped to the ground with a loud clatter, snapping Yao out of his reverie.

"Ivan!" Yao exclaimed, "What are you doing? Why was Arthur dangling from my ceiling aru?"

"Er… you met Arthur? Did he say anything?" Ivan asked apprehensively.

"No, he was too ill to say anything. You aren't responsible for hanging him up there, are you?" Yao narrowed his eyes.

Ivan laced his fingers together nervously. "Erm, actually, I am, but…"

Yao's eyes flew wide open. He raised both fists in the air and shook them at him. "Aiya! Whatever did you do that for! You could have killed him! And I hope you aren't thinking of scorching him too!" He glared at the water pipe on the floor, which glinted menacingly.

"Calm down, Yao!" Ivan cried imploringly. "Actually, we are performing a magic ritual. Arthur knows a spell that will give you riches. We meant to surprise you, but I didn't realize you would be back so soon."

Upon hearing the word "riches", Yao's eyes sparkled with anticipation, all misgivings forgotten.

"Do you mean that if he casts the spell on me, I'll have a lot more money than I already do aru?"

"Da, that's right!" Ivan nodded enthusiastically, relieved that Yao believed this cock and bull story.

"No, that's not right," Yao said abruptly. "If Arthur knows such a spell, he would use it on Alfred. Everyone knows that man is up to his eyes in debt aru!"

"Ah, but by making you richer, Arthur is actually helping Alfred to repay his debt to you. Looking at the economy now, it looks like you can forget about getting Alfred to repay his debt to you anytime soon."

"Oh, that makes sense aru," Yao looked enlightened. Ivan silently clapped himself on his back, pleased with himself for spinning such a believable tale.

"Let's go back to the living room so that Arthur can cast his spell on you da?"

"All right aru!"

When they entered the living room, Arthur had already regained consciousness. He perched himself on a chair, eyes pinched shut, one hand rubbing against his head to get rid of an apparent headache. He opened his eyes when Yao addressed him, and nearly slipped off the chair. Yao had never seen the Englishman look so frightened.

"Don't hurt me! I'll do what you ask of me! Please don't kill me!" he wailed as he ran behind the chair to hide.

Yao looked questioningly at Ivan.

"Side effects of the ritual," Ivan said. "Tell Arthur you're ready for him to cast the spell on you."

"Arthur," Yao called, "I'm ready. You can cast the spell on me now."

Arthur peered out from behind the chair, his eyes filled with astonishment.

"What! You're actually agreeable to it?"

"Of course!" Yao replied swiftly.

"But… but…"

"But what? Kolkolkolkol~" Ivan moved towards him ominously.

"N-n-n-nothing!" Arthur quaked. Standing up on shaky feet, he raised his wand at Yao.

"Ready?"

"Anytime you are aru."

The Brittania Angel waved his wand.

"Fecunditatemventris!"

The end of the wand that pointed at Yao glowed red. Then it subsided. To Yao's disappointment, no wondrous piles of gold appeared in his living room. He pulled out his wallet. It was neither fatter nor heavier.

"Is that it?" Yao asked.

Arthur nodded.

"So, how do I know if it worked aru?"

Ivan nodded grimly, expressing support for his lover's cynicism.

"Da, how do I know if you really planted the spell on Yao," Ivan challenged.

"You can go and get a body scan," Arthur suggested. "I'm not sure if it would be wise though. You might cause an uproar. After all, there hasn't ever been a man who's had a womb."

Spotting Yao's furrowed eyebrows, Ivan realized that it was time to send Arthur on his way.

"Thank you Arthur, off you go," he said firmly and pushed Arthur to the door. Arthur bustled out without a second look backwards.

When he returned to the living room, Yao was bent over his coffee table, poring over his Mac with a deeply perplexed expression. He looked up when he heard Ivan's footsteps.

"Say, Ivan, was that a bluff? I've checked my wallet, my safe, my bank account, my property value, the stock market… nothing's changed. In fact, some of my stocks have plunged because stupid Alfred's boss can't pass his new economic policy. And what on earth did Arthur mean by asking me to get a body scan aru?"

"Well," Ivan smiled down at Yao's adorably clueless face. "We'll find out, won't we? Kolkolkolkol~"

"What? No aru!" Yao cried as Ivan pounced on him.

To be continued...

The subsequent chapters are available in my Rochu doujinshi 'Our Secret History'. Please visit the official website: http : / / secret . kawaiiaru . net for more information. Those who are unable to access the official website may also view information about it on http : / / doujin . bangumi . tv/subject/3579 Please remove all spaces in the urls.

The story will also be available in a free pdf version of the doujinshi that will be downloadable from the same websites after the book has sold out.

Author's Notes

I've always wanted to write a fic where Yao gets pregnant by Ivan XD Somehow, I find that very sexy. Impregnating a lover is actually a real sex fantasy that many people have because it gives them a sense of possession and control, so I can imagine Ivan having such a fantasy. And with his personality, he's bound to turn it into reality XD.

I don't usually like crack, so I tried my best to include some realistic elements. Well, magicking a womb into Yao's body is not very realistic, but Arthur's magic is canon in Hetalia, so it still sort of makes sense in Hetalia world XD Many thanks to kolaru for giving me the idea to have Arthur plant a womb in Yao! For this fic, I also did a lot of research on pregnancy symptoms, behaviours of pregnant women and how safe it is to have sex during pregnancy lol Previously, it was never a subject that interested me, so it was an eye opener. Having sex during pregnancy is indeed very safe, even if the guy is rough, because the amniotic fluid layer is an excellent protective layer. Of course, BDSM is generally discouraged (watch out, Ludwig).

Pakistan and China enjoy excellent diplomatic relations and they have been good friends since the birth of new China in 1949. It is true that Pakistan released a set of special stamps to commemorate China's 60th anniversary. But although they are very close, I don't think they could be lovers personified, as their relationship is too smooth-sailing. Ivan and Yao's relationship on the other hand, has been passionate, angsty and tumultuous, beginning with hatred (Yao), that turned to love, that turned to hatred, that reverted back to love again, the perfect script for a romantic soap opera lol. The way they've eventually overcome hatred and distrust to forgive each other and fall in love all over again is also incredibly inspirational and precious.