Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. This is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

Sorry this took so long. I haven't updated since April 14th and it's July 4th now.

This was written about a month ago and I just realized I didn't post it.

You might need to re-read some of last chapter to refresh your memory.

Bella is about to show Edward the journals.

Enjoy!

Chapter 25

"Where did you find these?" Edward asked as he flipped through the journals Isabella had given him.

"They were in an old trunk in your childhood bedroom," she answered. She picked up the one she had been reading earlier and found the page with Elisabeth's revelation about Siobhan. "Here it is. This is what she wrote." She began to recite the passage out loud.

"Edward is cheating on me. I can't say I'm surprised; he's always been a selfish pig. He's not the man I married. I married a loving and caring man but now it's different. I didn't expect it to be with my dear Siobhan though. I feel like I should confront them. This doesn't seem like something Siobhan would do. Not to me."

"Wow," Edward gasped. "So, my grandfather was cheating on my grandmother with Siobhan?"

"I guess, and according to this Elisabeth was also mad at your mother for not taking proper care of you. So, that would explain why you barely saw Carlisle and Esme when you were growing up." She pointed out the other passage to him.

"This all seems so bizarre," he sighed. "My head hurts. I can't…I don't understand. My whole life feels like a big web of lies." He took the journal from her and quietly began to read the passages she pointed out.

"I just noticed something," he said suddenly.

"What?"

"Elisabeth never used Esme's name. She never refers to a daughter."

Isabella looked over his shoulder and realized he was right. "So you think…Esme and Carlisle…then who?"

"Siobhan," he whispered. "I'm starting to think she might be my mother."

"But, you look like Esme and Carlisle," Isabella argued. "You have Esme's green eyes and her reddish hair and you have Carlisle's…" she realized then that she wasn't even sure if he really looked like Carlisle. Sure, when she saw then together there was a similarity, but she couldn't pinpoint what it was. They were just…alike.

He flipped back through the book looking for more information. "Some of the pages are ripped out," he said. "They're all missing after that last one."

"No, there's one more." Isabella gently reached for the journal and flipped to the last entry. It was written two days before her death.

I am tired.

I should leave them be. If he wants her, he can have her as long as he gives me what I want.

"What the hell does that mean?" Edward asked, frantically flipping the page hoping to find more. "What did she want?" His voice broke as he said this.

"I don't know," she said, taking his hand. "It's pretty scary. It's almost as if everything they told you were lies."

"My whole life is a lie," he said, still staring at Elisabeth's last words. "Who are these people?"

"Why were you so afraid of your grandfather?" she asked remembering his strange behavior. "You said he was coming to get you."

Edward was quiet for a moment. "Sometimes the tall dark figure in my dreams turns into him. I remember what he looked like. I could never forget him."

He picked up another journal and began to skim through it. "There is so much information in here." He began to read aloud.

"Charles Darnell is the most despicable man on the face of the Earth. The way he treats his family is appalling and then he wonders why I don't want anyone to find out about us. I'll take it to the grave if I have to. Nobody can find out."

"What does that mean?" Isabella asked. "Was she having an affair too?"

"Siobhan Darnell is coming to live with us. I cannot wait until she gets here. Although it's not under the most ideal circumstances, I'm glad she's coming to help take care of little Edward. He needs all the love he can get. She is a fine girl and she would make a wonderful nanny."

"Nanny?" Isabella and Edward looked at each other in shock. "She was your nanny?"

"No," he said. "That doesn't make any sense. It can't be. Why would a Doctor's daughter be a nanny? The Darnel's come from money."

"Maybe he cut her off," Isabella offered. "She did say he treated his family badly."

Edward looked back down at the book and began to flip through the pages again. Isabella understood that he needed answers. "So, she couldn't have been my mother."

Isabella suddenly understood what his issue was. He was probably hoping to find the reason why he never felt any real connection to Carlisle and Esme. She reached for the bag that sat next to her on the bed and pulled out the Emerald box. She carefully lifted the soft cushion and slipped out the photograph of Siobhan. She looked at the woman that shared the same green eyes with the man across from her.

"I really wish I knew the answer to that," she said. "I wonder what happened to her. You said Edward Platt was dead, so where is she? Could she be alive somewhere? I bet she has all the answers."

"I bet Carlisle has some answers too," he growled angrily. "All this time, they've been lying to me and making me think I'm crazy. All of them. I remember when Jane…"

This caught Isabella's interest and her head snapped in his direction. "What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"Edward please," she begged. "You said you wanted us to change. You have to learn to trust me."

He continued to shake his head. "I can't. It was all my fault."

"What was your fault? You need to stop blaming yourself for things that were probably out of your control."

"I brought her into this mess," he whispered. "And it killed her. Something happened…something freaked her out and she was going to leave. I don't know what happened, but she called me insane and heartless and she packed her things. She said she needed to get away from me my crazy family."

"Do you think it had to do with Elisabeth?"

"I don't know, but it would make sense. Look at the crap they fed you," he said. "And there was the whole thing with Carlisle not liking her."

"He didn't like her?"

"No," he answered. "He said she was too nosy, too mouthy and too wild. He said her mouth would get her in trouble one day. When she died, he almost seemed…satisfied."

"Wow."

"And her parents and grandparents weren't any better. I'm glad I never met them face to face," he said. "I only met her sister Angela and she was a crazy bitch."

"You said she was from Colorado."

"Yeah," he sighed, and averted his gaze. He picked up another journal and began to idly flip pages. Isabella knew he wasn't really reading the pages. He was uncomfortable with the subject and wanted her to drop it.

"I wish I had told you about these before," Isabella said. "When we were in Washington. I bet there is plenty more to find in that house. Especially in that room Esme keeps locked up."

"I'm sorry for not being there for you enough. I'm trying to be more open, I really am."

She nodded silently. She really wanted to believe him but knowing his moods it was difficult to know what to expect.

"I'm getting a little hungry," Edward said, stretching his arms above his head. "You want to go eat?"

"Sure, I guess I can make us something."

"How about we go out instead? I'm sure we can find a nice restaurant. We've been cooped up to long." He put an arm around her waist and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Okay." She smiled. This seemed like a little progress.

~I~

"Esme left a suicide note." He didn't look up at her as he skillfully cut through his steak.

Isabella stopped mid-chew and just stared at Edward trying to comprehend what he was saying. "What do you mean?"

"I mean she left a suicide note. You know, a note someone writes before they –"

"I know what a suicide note is," she interrupted. "But how do you know? The detective never said anything about a note."

"Because he doesn't know about it," he said in a matter of fact tone.

"Then how do you…" realization dawned on Isabella.

"I obviously found it. I just didn't tell anybody."

"Why not?" She placed down her knife and fork.

He shrugged and began to pick at his food with his fork. "I really don't know, and its not like I can show them now. Nobody would believe me."

"You still have it?"

"Yeah," he reached into his pant pocket and retrieved the crumbled paper that had been unfolded and refolded many times. Isabella was surprised that he carried it around with him. "I can't seem to part with this."

Isabella reached forward and took the note from his hands.

I am sitting on the terrace and looking at the place where you grew up. Words cannot express how sorry I am. I've disappointed Em again but this is the way it should be. I want you to do me a favor. I know I don't deserve it but you need to do a few things for me. This isn't the end it's just the beginning. I want you to continue going to those sessions with Dr. Darnell. They will help you get through everything. You might even want to consider bringing Isabella along as well. It would be good for the both of you. I want you to be happy and I am sure that Isabella will bring you both happiness and peace of mind. You deserve it after everything that has happened. The next favor that I need to ask of you is to not be afraid. I want you to do everything in your power to not succumb to all the pressure that you will soon face. Our family has many secrets. Secrets that I am too ashamed to share but would want for you to find out about. You will find out and you might hate me for the things I've done and the mistakes I've made because of my selfishness and jealousy. Despite of my many lies and mistakes, I want you to remain strong and take care of your family. I'm sorry I won't be here to see my first grandchild.

Your Loving mother,

Esmeralda.

P.S. I would love for Isabella to wear Elisabeth necklace when it's time to lay me to rest.

"She disappointed Em?" Isabella asked. "Elisabeth?"

"I'm just getting more and more confused," he sighed pulling at her hair. "When will this all end?"

"Well she said she wants you to find out about all the family secrets," Isabella pointed out. "I think we're getting closer and closer. Esme wanted me to find those journals and that picture. I'm sure of it."

"I guess so."

"Wait a minute," she said. "Did you tell her I was pregnant?"

"No, I guess she already knew. I found that strange as well. It's so crazy. It's like my family belongs in some sort of mental institute. Myself included."

"You're not crazy," she said strongly.

He laughed humorlessly. "You don't know the half of it."

Isabella looked down at the suicide note again and tried to identify any significant clues. "Maybe we should go to the police."

"Why? What would that do? They'll just suspect both of us. We can't do that. Besides the letter was written to me not them. She wanted me to find her and she wanted me and only me to read this."

"Why does she want you going to Darnell then? Why should we trust her? She was probably lying to you all your life. You know they were plotting together to try to make you forget something you saw. You probably witnessed a murder Edward. We have to tell someone."

He looked around the half-empty restaurant. "Can you please keep your voice down," he hissed. "I don't want the whole fucking world to know. I should have never showed this to you. I knew you wouldn't understand." He snatched the note from the hand and quickly stuffed it into his pocket.

Isabella looked at him with a stunned expression. She couldn't understand why he was so mad all of a sudden. She was trying to help him. He had the strangest mood swings she ever witnessed.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I was just trying to –"

"Help?" he asked bitterly. "You can help by trusting me. I can't come out with this note now. I didn't show it when I had a chance so I will look suspicious now. How would day know that I didn't just write it myself? That I didn't just kill her overnight and took you to the doctor like nothing happened. I was the last person to see her alive, Isabella. Even you remember that. Carlisle wasn't home and I was with her the night before she died. I was the one who found her body. They could think that I did it then and there. They could think you were my accomplice."

Isabella was starting to realize where his fear laid. He was afraid of being blamed. This wouldn't look good. "I understand. I'm sorry for suggesting that. You're right. It wouldn't look right."

He took a calming breath and nodded. "Let's just finish our meal. We can discuss this more later."

Thanks for reading!

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For those reading Visually Challenged, I'm sorry about the lack of replies to reviews. I've read them all but I haven't had the time to reply.