Warnings: Male/male relationship, spoilers for just about the whole series, and sex.

Author's Notes: Written in response to a CLAMPkink prompt requesting hot and steamy sex between Kurogane's father and Fai. I sandwiched the Kuro-Papa/Fai between two slices of KuroFai because I can't leave well enough alone. Despite the double pairings, there is no adultery, and I managed to pull that off without killing Kurogane and his mother. I'm rather proud of myself for it. Please do read and let me know what you think~ ^_^ 3

Fai had learned the language and daily routine of his beloved's country and submerged himself in its culture as best as one so foreign-born and -raised as he was could hope to do, but there were still many things he was not well versed in. History was largely a blank to him, save for that which interested him personally; the rise of Shirasagi-jou, the establishment of the Suwa province, and the entire lineage of the guardian line that had so long ruled that province from its progenitors to its current generation. His knowledge of geography was equal to his mastery of history; he knew the province he lived in, was decently familiar with the most powerful territories, and understood everything else in a vague, foggy sort of way.

Religion was also a misty grey area with a bright little island in the middle. Tying a sacred knot of union to formally join his beloved's family had only been the first of many ceremonies he had learned, and by now the little moments of reverence and gestures of respect paid to the ten thousand gods of the land were soaked into his thoughts and bones, just as much a part of him as his foreign looks and the everlasting love that burned in his heart for this land and the family that had taken him in, and most of all the dark-haired, red-eyed man who had scorned him and saved him and then brought him - gave him a - home. But though the family he now belonged to was good-hearted and devout, they were not super-religious, and there were many intricacies of their belief system that he would have been glad to know more about.

For instance, Fai was curious as to what level of hell he might be earning himself a room in right now, for lusting after his father-in-law.

In his defense - his pitiful, pathetically whimpering defense - it had been four months since he'd last seen Kurogane and after three beautiful, sensual, robe-wrecking, pillow-biting, door-breaking years of non-stop sex, this sudden dry spell was absolutely intolerable just from a purely physical standpoint. The anguish of never knowing from one moment to the next whether Kurogane was still even alive made the torment nearly unbearable.

They had been called to war to defend their fair country, and when duty called, the members of the Kurogane family - of which Fai was now counted as one - always answered. Invaders from another continent far to the north had rushed upon their shores in staggering numbers and to make things worse, had summoners among their numbers who could raise up demons to swell the ranks of their foot soldiers. The entire country had risen up at the Mikado's call to arms, and the southern reach of Amaterasu's empire had been emptied of almost every priest and able-bodied man, only leaving enough reserves to hold off surprise attacks from another direction for long enough to re-deploy men and re-distribute supplies if necessary.

There had been no stalemates, not peace talks, no drawn-out cat and mouse games thus far. The enemy threw sheer numbers and dark horrors at them with little finesse, and the Mikado and the Tsukuyomi met them at every brutal thrust with an artful parry and deadly counterstrike. It had been an all-out, all-in fight that never ebbed in its ferocity, and while Nihon was slowly but surely winning the war, the enemy seemed determined to fight to the last man - or demon - and every day brought in new casualties. After four months, everyone was certain that victory would be theirs before the autumn rains, but while battles were being won, lives were still being lost. As if fearful that Fate was waiting for the choicest, cruelest moment to strike, Fai's fear of Kurogane dying grew at the same rate as everyone else's hope of the dual-fronted war ending.

Beside the main theater of war along the northeastern coastline where the Mikado was fighting for her empire, Princess Tomoyo was leading a fight against the summoners and demons that were concentrated near the capital, her small army consisting mostly of priests and priestesses who fought with magic instead of blades. Kurogane was of course by her side to provide more solid support along with the bulk of the ninja, who were better equipped and trained than common soldiers to deal with enemies possessed of such superhuman strength and speed. The Mikado's army, which was battling mostly common soldiers, was comprised largely of swordsmen and lancers and archers all determined to push the invading horde back into the sea to retreat or drown as they would, and it was to this larger army that the Lord of Suwa was attached.

The argument about which red-eyed, dark-haired warrior Fai would accompany had been painful but short and to-the-point. Quick and brutal. So Kurogane.

"What do you mean, 'no you're not'? Of course I'm going with you!" Fai blurted, so shocked at his spouse's words that he wondered if he'd misheard somehow.

"No, you are not," Kurogane ground out, and though the blonde could see in those angry eyes and that clenched jaw how unhappy the ninja was himself at the orders, it didn't help ease the terror that Fai felt at the idea of separation. He wasn't some hothouse flower clinging to his big strong warrior out of fear and weakness by any means. But coming to Nihon and beginning a new life with Kurogane had led naturally to thoughts of how that new life would unfold, and it had been necessary to face certain unpleasant facts.

They had discussed heirs - or more to the point, Fai's inability to produce one - and inheritances, court politics and country rumors, and his education as well as his work. But by far the most unpleasant fact he had to face was the probability that he would outlive Kurogane by at least three hundred years. It was a harsh reality for someone who'd already lost so much to have to face, and while Fai had eventually come to terms with it and learned not to let future tears flavor his current happiness with bitter salt, it was hard for the blonde not to be a little bit paranoid when it came to his beloved's health and welfare. If Kurogane was going off to war, Fai wanted to be at his side, watching his back.

"But I-"

"NO. Shut up and listen," Kurogane snapped, too frustrated to be patient and understanding, and Fai flinched and subsided, face twisted with fear and anger and a thwarted longing for reassurance. "This is not you and I and the kid out on our own, fighting our own fights. This is war, and everything is at stake, not just our own happiness. You're powerful and talented but you haven't been in fights like these, against our demons. Tomoyo-Hime is taking the most learned and experienced of our priests to give her the best chance at routing these things from the capital. If you go, that means someone else stays behind and that makes you a liability, not an asset."

Fai was pale and trembling now, feeling as if he were being scolded for being a selfish, narrow-minded brat. He knew even as he balked that Kurogane was right and hated it. All he could think of to say were things like "but I want to go" and they sounded so terribly childish that the situation would have been comical had his heart not been tearing open and bleeding out. Pale lips parted to speak but nothing would come out and Fai simply stood there, shaking his head helplessly in a mute plea.

Kurogane sighed and watched him struggle and eventually submit, though still hating the situation with passionate stubbornness and ready to continue to make weak protests, just to make sure Kurogane knew exactly how wrong Fai thought this was. Childish, yes. But understandable. When Fai was judged to be calm enough, Kurogane continued relaying the pertinent details of the orders he'd carried back from Shirasagi.

"My father will join with the Mikado's army at Inada-jou and continue north with her. You're to serve as his battalion's priest." Kurogane noted the surprised blink and slight hitch in his lover's posture and answered the unspoken question. "My mother will stay here and tend to the wards around Suwa. Her health won't allow her to travel...and I'd feel better if he had a priest he knew he could rely upon at his side."

Kurogane stepped closer and raised a hand to slowly smooth a few wayward strands of golden hair down, but both the praise and the gesture were lost on Fai. The ninja could successfully petition to have his lover accompany his father to battle but he wouldn't even discuss the possibility of keeping that lover by his own side? The blonde knew he was being unreasonable but the mind didn't always hold sway over the heart, and while they both knew Fai would do as the Mikado had ordered, it didn't mean he was going to go graciously.

"When?" Fai asked, his voice a bitter thing curling his lip, like the last swirl of muddy tea in a cup long gone cold.

"I leave after dinner. You'll ride out with my father tomorrow morning," came the reply, and the blonde gasped and then actually laughed, the sound no less despairing than the question that had led to it.

"I guess we should get packed," Fai said, dragging that old false cheer out in his distress, ill-fitting now and cracked. He knew - he knew- he was acting the idiot that Kurogane still called him sometimes but he just couldn't help it. Not yet. It was too big of a blow to be accepted all at once, and rushing in on him too quickly for him to adjust. He spun on one heel, needing to get away, needing for the conversation to be over so that he could try to grasp the sickening turn his fairy tale ending had taken.

He turned, only to be whipped right back around by a hand on his elbow. Kurogane pulled him close and stepped in at the same time so that Fai almost bounced off of that wall of muscles. He wanted nothing more than to cling until the last moment of separation and so of course his unruly self seized up and pushed at his beloved to escape. There was no getting away from those strong hands, however, and when had he truly ever been able to resist this man? He looked up to find Kurogane looming over him, so close he could feel his lover's breath on his face and see himself reflected in those burning red eyes.

"We're not parting like this," Kurogane growled at him, but the heat in his voice wasn't anger, and it sent a shiver down Fai's spine, arched now by a muscular arm about his waist drawing him yet closer.

"What, you want to have one last passionate moment together to carry out to the battlefield?" Fai asked mirthlessly, cringing at his own words and wanting terribly to be reassured - even with lies - that his fears were groundless. "Something to keep us warm in case one of us doesn't come back alive?"

Tell me I'm an idiot. Tell me everything will be fine, and that the war will be over in just a few weeks and that we'll be together again before I know it.

"Exactly," Kurogane said, and all the breath left Fai's lungs in one horrified, shattered sigh.

"How can you-"

"Because it might happen," the dark-haired man interrupted, giving the trembling form in his arms a little shake. "And I know you, mage, inside and out. You're going to be thinking of the last time you saw me - every day and especially every night - until this is over, so put your fears aside for now and show me how much you're going to miss me."

They missed dinner, but somehow managed to get Kurogane washed and dressed in time to ride out with the other ninja. Fai was not quite up to standards in neatness of dress, but all politely chose not to notice his disheveled state, and everyone except for the Lord and Lady of Suwa became interested in the sunset when it came time for the Lord's heir to take leave of his beloved. Kurogane kicked his horse over to the wooden deck where Fai was holding onto a post as if to keep himself from crumpling. Or flinging himself onto his lover to make one final plea to be taken along. He was rather proud of himself for getting through the traditional farewells without whimpering.

"I'm leaving," Kurogane said simply, looking every inch the proud warrior that he was, all red and black and backlit by a fiery sky. The wizard thought the man looked beautiful - no other word would do - in that moment, armed and dangerous and astride a great black horse that tossed its head and pawed impatiently at the dirt as if eager as its rider to join the battle raging to the north. It was a picture that Fai would carry into war along with the memory of the last hour, and he thought to himself that Kurogane had been right; this was the best way to part, if parting was necessary.

"Be well," Fai replied faintly.

"Keep my father safe, and let him take care of you," the ninja said with all his usual seriousness of demeanor, fixing his eyes intently on Fai's pale but calm features. The blonde head nodded slowly. Fai didn't feel like smiling, and didn't try, but Kurogane seemed satisfied and nodded as well, once, before wheeling his horse about and riding off. Fai didn't blink until he was out of sight. Kurogane never looked back.

The manor was busy with preparations to farewell their Lord the next morning, and Fai had plenty to keep his hands occupied and mind distracted for a few hours, at least. Much was in readiness, for everyone had expected nothing less than that the Lord and his men would be called upon to aid in the battle, but there were many tasks that could not be completed in advance.

Bridles and saddles had been inspected and repaired or replaced as necessary, and now that they knew how far they would have to ride before meeting up with the larger army, corn and grain needed to be measured out and waterskins filled. Everyone had a small pack in readiness at the foot of their sleeping place, and after finding out where they were to be deployed, the choice between fur-lined coats and oiled leather jackets could be made. The kitchen burst back into life, as chaotic and noisy as any battlefield, making preparations for breakfast as well as forming up rows of compact lunches in neat little bamboo-skin folding boxes, while dried travel rations were counted out and packed into leather pouches already lumpy with tinderboxes and metal containers that could serve as pot and bowl both.

Despite all the work to be done, much of it could and would be entrusted to the servants to attend to. Those who would depart the next morning soon turned into their sleeping quarters, rest being as necessary as the other more active tasks they had been engaged in after the evening meal. Fai drifted from room to room after all of his own preparations were complete, and after finding nothing further for his hands to do, sought to be useful in prayer. He could not sleep, not when Kurogane was going to be riding hard all night to return to his princess's side, and then off to war. He could not sleep, not when his bed was so cold and empty.

Fai quietly slid open the doors to the prayer room and smiled briefly to see a spare cushion next to the one upon which his mother-in-law knelt. Though obviously expected, the blonde suddenly felt as if his entrance was an intrusion, like a pebble thrown into a calm pond. He stepped inside and quietly slid shut the doors to block out the faint clamor from distant halls that seeped into the room and grated against his nerves. The room was dimly lit with only two candles, and the air seemed thick with incense and expectation. Everything seemed magnified somehow in this soft silence, and Fai barely dared to breathe too noisily. His feet and the trailing edges of his robes whispered loudly across the matting as he crossed the room and when he knelt, he almost felt as if he could count every rough fiber in the cushion by touch.

All his senses seemed not just alive, but overactive in the hushed, heavy moment. The world - reality - pressed in on him and oppressed him, just when he was seeking to try and be strong by eschewing the oblivion of sleep and praying for his husband's safety instead. The smile that had curved his lips when he'd first looked into the room was gone now, and he looked soberly at the woman seated next to him. She was still beautiful despite her years, and the candlelight gave a false warmth to her usually too-pale skin. Black hair flowed smooth from her temples and down over her shoulders, pooling behind her in great silky coils. Her face was serene, and when she slowly opened her eyes and turned to give him a gentle, understanding smile, Fai's own expression crumpled and he laid his head down in her lap like a child.

He had come to the room to pray for his beloved, and looked to his mother-in-law with concern that she might be suffering the same fears as he for the one she loved, but ended up begging comfort from her instead of offering it. She who had not just a husband to worry over, but a son as well, should have been the object of his compassion and support. He should not be burdening her with his anxieties. Fai knew all this, but despite it all, he remained curled up on the cushion like a long, lanky cat for a while, eyes burning with unshed tears and her hand cool on his forehead.

The quiet night he had passed - first being indulged in his weakness, then being soothed by his mother-in-law's quiet presence and finally finding comfort in prayer - had gently capped the day that had ended so stormily. The next morning had been so peaceful as to have been surreal considering what they were riding out for, and Fai had found himself more calm and collected than he could have imagined when he'd first found out how - and with whom - he was to be deployed. He'd bidden a formal farewell to the Priestess of Suwa and had received her blessing upon his brow after she had called down the protection of the ancient god of their land upon her husband's sword.

That short ceremonial leave-taking had been the last truly peaceful moment of the last four months, though there had been many, many hours when all they did was rest for the next day's journey or battle. There was always an underlying tension that kept everyone from truly relaxing. Even when the battalion under his father-in-law's command was encamped and protected from sudden attack by allies arrayed around their position, Fai still felt like the soldiers around him were in a constant state of motion or restlessness. And yet their spirits were high.

He at first attributed it to his father-in-law's cheerfulness of spirit and good management of the men under his command. The Lord of Suwa required everyone to commit to the fight, heart, body and mind, but he ensured that they did not overextend themselves, and he let them amuse themselves as they would when circumstances permitted it. Drills and sparring were only allowed for short periods of time. The war itself honed the soldiers' skills well enough, and the practice was only necessary for keeping certain maneuvers and tactics fresh. When each horse had been curried a second time and all the tack polished and inspected anew, the soldiers looked to their own supplies. When everything that could be cleaned or mended or polished had been, they played at dice or wrestling or riddles. When the soldiers had had enough of games, they ate and drank. And when their bellies were full, they broke away from the crowded firepits to sate their other hungers.

When a thousand men are formed into a single entity to live and breathe and fight together, and must stay close together as well to remain alive, there is no such thing as a truly private moment, of course. Time stolen away from the other men was never secret, and necessarily so. If a battle broke out, every leader needed to know where the members of his squad or platoon were so that he could give them orders, whether they'd snuck off to a tent or a supply wagon or some conveniently placed trees. Most "private moments" were in fact comprised largely of the polite inattention of fellow soldiers rather than actual privacy.

Fai at first wondered - a bit bitterly, a bit wistfully - that so many warriors should be so lucky as to be assigned to the same battalion as their lover, as he began to notice the same faces both staying together and sneaking off together. He had developed a protective, almost paternal instinct for these men as he served them as priest, and found himself watching and watching over them sometimes, when he had nothing else to do but fret over Kurogane. The roles of commander and priest for the battalion were similar to the roles of guardian and priest over the province of Suwa; Fai kept his father-in-law warded and shielded so that the man would be alive and able to focus all his attention on commanding and directing his men, and the priest also protected the men against what arrows and demonic attacks he could so that they could concentrate on the foes immediately before them on the ground.

Just as a woman cannot help but love a child she is given to nurture, a man cannot help but love the ones he is given to protect. The warm-hearted wizard who had already lost two families and two countries was no exception to this and began to think of the battalion he served as his; his to keep safe, his to watch over, his to protect with his magic as his father-in-law protected them with his skill and sword. And so he watched them, and while he had no unseemly interest in the private aspects of each man's life it was hard not to notice all the little signs of ongoing trysts.

Fai was also surprised at how great a percentage of Nihon's men preferred other men as a bedmate, and whimsically wondered how the nation kept their population growing. But then he began to notice familiar faces among the soldiers who were paired off, and was shocked to realize that many were ones whom he knew to be married or otherwise committed to another, and that other quite often a woman.

The blonde might have written these trysts off as stress-induced aberrations of behavior in men whom he knew - had thought, at least - to be faithful husbands and committed lovers, save that he saw that the men were pairing off and staying with one specific person as the days and weeks passed. It wasn't a sudden breaking of faith under the pressures of war and the adrenaline of battle; a quick rutting in the shadows with a convenient stranger to relieve the stress. The pairs protected each other in battle, had their meals together, slept near each other and of course slept with each other. They weren't just pairing off; the men were finding partners.

The closeness being found put the wizard to mind of how he and Kurogane had been in Yama toward the end of their half-year in that country, cut off from Syaoran and the others. Caring. Committed. A couple even without an exchange of whispered promises. The comparison disturbed him in those cases where he knew at least one of the men to be committed to another who was not present. There was a Celesian saying; "cold miles set hearts afire". In an ice-bound land, harsh weather often lengthened absences and made courting a person in even a neighboring village difficult, and it was said that these un-looked for separations made the longing one felt for one's beloved all the stronger.

But here in Nihon, did bonds break so easily over miles and months? Was it so easy to forget the wife or betrothed or sweetheart you'd left behind at home when you were on the other end of the continent? Did blood so easily wash away or obliterate memories and promises? During moments of self-examination, the blonde refused to entertain any notion that he was fearful of Kurogane being unfaithful. He was only offended on behalf of all the hearts left behind to worry and pray.

The mage had some easily understood issues with abandonment and betrayal.

These issues also made him uncomfortable in his own skin, when he found himself eyeing his father-in-law with more feelings than a son by marriage ought to properly have. While noticing the trysts of those around him it was impossible for his mind not to drift to times he'd engaged in such activities with his own beloved, nor for his body to refrain from yearning. He'd begun to desperately miss his husband even before they'd parted, knowing that separation was nigh, and now pure and plain physical longing had had time to build up as well. Add to that the fact that the Lord of Suwa was a near twin of his own son, and...well. Fai was often out of temper with himself more often than he might have been had he been assigned to a stranger's battalion.

Just as he refused to lend any credence to the idea that he feared his lover would give in to loneliness and longing, Fai steadfastly told himself over and over that he himself was not actually a-lust over his own father-in-law. The idea was ridiculous and offensive and idiotic and just plain wrong on all manner of levels. He was simply getting caught unawares sometimes by his long habit of admiring his husband's looks and the now-inconvenient fact that his husband had inherited all those looks directly from his sire. When a pair of red eyes set in a tanned, chiseled face fixed themselves on him and then narrowed slightly over a fond smile or crooked grin, his heart was simply conditioned to skip. It meant nothing but that he missed his husband, not that he wanted to actually jump on his father-in-law.

Said father-in-law was not helping Fai's torment, frustratingly enough. It was not out of mischief or malice, for gods be thanked, the man had no idea he was making his priest squirm so, but rather an unfortunate side effect of his affectionate nature. The mage came in for random eye contact and smiles, got a few casual pats on the shoulder or tugs of a blonde lock, and other such friendly, familiar, family gestures such as a good son-in-law merited. The nail in the coffin was that Fai's place both as priest and son was by the man's side. He shared his commander's place in battle, his Lord's confidence in all important matters, a private tent, and all his meals.

It was driving Fai not a little bit insane, and when the Lord of Suwa caught his eye one day during a long, drawn-out and rather boring review of some stale articles of news and winked at him, the blonde invented a little coughing fit for himself and promptly fled the scene. He wandered up a low embankment, there to let the breeze cool his flushed - from the coughing, not the wink - cheeks and his eyes wander over the masses of men and animals and baggage that surrounded him. And it was a great mass indeed; not just the thousand that the Lord of Suwa commanded and all the servants and animals that thousand required, but another two battalions beside.

Three commanders and all their forces had gathered at the joining of the Miki and Miyata rivers, there to await the arrival of two other battalions before forming a regiment that would then travel upriver to finally join with the Mikado's main army. For the past four months the Lord of Suwa's battalion had been deployed to various locations behind the front line, mostly engaged in small battles that it could handle on its own, essentially clearing its own path home of enemies and preventing the leftover enemy forces that had escaped the Mikado's field army from gathering together and attacking her from behind. They were running out of enemies to fight behind the main lines however, with the enemy gathering up all its scattered forces to converge on the capital against the Tsukuyomi, and orders had come for everyone to gather with the Mikado along the northern seaboard, there to grind the larger enemy force into the sand and surf in one final, decisive battle.

The Lord of Suwa had been the first to arrive at their assigned meeting place, and encamped on the peninsula formed between the two rivers to take advantage of the natural defenses thus provided. The arrival of two other battalions provided additional protection, and there had come a break such as they had not been blessed with since the beginning of the war as they waited for the remainder of their future regiment to arrive. Squads of men were sent out from each battalion with regularity to patrol the borders of the large camp, and the commanders allowed visiting between the battalions on a limited basis. Gifts were exchanged, stories were told, jokes taught and songs learned, but Fai noticed very few casual liaisons as he continued his new habit of watching and watching over the soldiers. The men who were paired off remained...faithful.

Fai frowned now as he stood upon the embankment and observed those he served as priest, and the battalion commander almost immediately pulled him aside for a talk, proving that Fai wasn't the only one who had been watching over the ones he cared for.

"Priest," called a familiar voice - sometimes too familiar in sound and timber - and Fai broke away from his contemplative watchfulness to nod respectfully to his father-in-law in a slow, deliberate movement that was nearly a bow. At home, the blonde could make Kurogane sputter and shout with the outrageous familiarity Fai showed with his in-laws, but whenever there were eyes and ears about them, Fai accorded his father-in-law the proper respect and honor that the man's age, position and relationship demanded. It would not do for the priest to undermine the commander's authority.

"Walk with me a while," said the Lord of Suwa, smiling as he almost always did, but serious all the same. "I have something to say to you."

Fai nodded and fell into step with the taller man, and they walked in silence to the grassy area right in the fork between the two rivers that their camp nestled in. It was too small and uneven a place for tents, inconvenient for the horses and too exposed for dalliance, and so it had remained open even when the area became crowded with soldiers. Though anyone standing there could be seen from all sides, the noise of the water kept voices from carrying, so it was ideal for private conversation. And this conversation was almost guaranteed to remain private.

Unless an unexpected enemy army suddenly crested the horizon, none would dare interrupt a conference between the commander and whomever he might choose to draw aside. The man was genial and approachable, but he had their respect and admiration as well as their affection and trust, and none of his officers or the soldiers presumed upon his friendliness. Even Fai, who was the man's adopted son and the chosen one of his blood heir, and could have been expected and allowed to be playful and presuming in private, refrained for the most part. He had not the spirits for it, and his few attempts at the usual lighthearted banter had depressed him by reminding him too much of the home and happy life there that he was trying to keep his mind off of.

"How is your health?" the dark-haired man asked, all formal politeness except in his merry eyes and the little quirk at one corner of his mouth that deepened the laugh line there. Fai raised his eyebrows a tiny bit and replied with equal politeness and a faint smile that he was well, and returned the inquiry. A theatrical sigh preceded the reply.

"I am so stooped under a heavy burden of worry that I fear I will soon be unable to lift my sword or even sit my horse," confessed the Lord of Suwa, shaking his head in mock sorrow and then grinning at Fai's snort. The man was hale and hearty yet, with only a few faint lines about his face and a dusting of grey at his temples to give away the fact that he was Kurogane's father instead of his twin. In a battle between the commander and all the men in his battalion, Fai would have placed his coin on his father-in-law, and he wasn't entirely certain even his own husband could best the man in a fight better than three times out of five.

"If there is anything a humble priest could do to ease the Lord's mind..." Fai suggested, still in that faintly playful formality of speech and manner. From a distance, the commander and his priest were at speech. Up close, it was father and son at play.

"There is," the older man said, suddenly dropping all his formal manner and fixing a fond but serious look upon his son by marriage. "Tell me now, truly, if you are well," came the unexpected urging, and the blonde blinked in surprise before answering.

"Yes. You know I've escaped injury so far and we'll have plenty of time to rest. I'll be fit for the coming battle." He left it at that, curious about why his physical state was under scrutiny but knowing that if he kept silent, he would eventually be enlightened.

"Hm. So it's not a headache or fever that creases your brow. Is it something here, or here?" his father-in-law asked next, and reached out to lightly tap the wizard's chest and forehead.

"You know I'm heart-sore," Fai answered, lips thinning for a moment as he glanced away from piercing red eyes. "I try not to dwell too much on it. As for what I'm thinking, it's nothing you need to worry over."

"I worry when my priest is walking about frowning in disapproval at my men," the commander chided lightly, and Fai gave him an apologetic look and a conceding nod.

"That was thoughtless of me, and I apologize. I won't do it anymore," Fai promised, and then raised his eyebrows again when the other man shook his head and laughed lightly.

"I also worry when my son-in-law is walking about fretting over something in secret."

The blonde's lips curved into a smile again and he sighed lightly, not especially desirous of detailing his feelings and thoughts on the matter that had been occupying him, but pleased nonetheless at the feeling that he was so well cared for. Kurogane was miles away - Guardian of Suwa, let him be alive, let him be safe- but Fai was not alone. The war had separated him from his beloved, but Kurogane had ensured that Fai would still have family, and not have to deal with the old trauma of feeling torn away from his loved ones and orphaned for a third time.

A rush of gratitude washed over the wizard at this proof of how he was treasured. Kurogane knew him through and through, and loved him well enough to go to the trouble of making arrangements to ensure that his beloved was provided with as much comfort as could be found as he rode out to war. Whether or not Kurogane had commended his spouse to his father's care just as he'd commended his father to his spouse's care upon taking leave was unknown to the blonde, but it hardly mattered. The wizard knew he had become the son of his adopted parents' hearts, just as much as Kurogane was the son of their blood. Even if his assignment to the Lord of Suwa's battalion had been accidental, Fai knew that the commander would have watched over him zealously, and it warmed his heart almost as much as the thought of how well his spouse cherished him.

If Fai's childhood had been a barren, icy wasteland, his married life was certainly the bountiful harvest that made the long winter worth enduring. The twice-orphaned double-expatriate had been given a new family and new home...a whole new world, in fact, to belong to.

A whole new world, with sometimes confusing ways.

Fai sighed again, the smile slipping a bit, and decided that he might as well answer openly. Though it was tacitly understood that the trysts being engaged in were less than secret, it was also considered unseemly to mention them or acknowledge them in any other way. The pretense of ignorance was part of the polite inattention paid to the pairs, and it was a breach of courtesy at best and a violation of honor at worst for Fai to talk of them so plainly. He knew, however, that his father-in-law's care of him was what was prompting this interview, and that he could not satisfy the concern in those keen red eyes with something polite and bland. Motivated by warmth of heart and not conformity to right and rules, the Lord of Suwa would not judge Fai's responses from a high seat, with offended dignity.

"I feel uneasy when I see some of the soldiers with another, when I know them to have lovers - families, even - at home," the blonde confessed, after a long enough pause and an averting of his eyes to the side to say clearly that what he said was not spoken willingly. Years ago, Kurogane had been surprised to see how easily the Valerian-born and Celesian-raised wizard had picked up all of the subtle mannerisms and body language "phrases" of Nihon. Fai had been born in line of a throne, however, had been raised at court and had grown up wearing more lies than clothes; saying something without saying anything was first nature, not second.

The taller nodded slowly, considering his son-in-law's words. When he spoke again, his voice and manner remained the same; easy and mild, curious and concerned. Though Fai had not been truly expecting a reprimand for his breach of courtesy, the knowledge that he was being less than polite had still put a bit of tension in his shoulders, and he only realized it when he was able to relax them upon hearing the dark-haired man speak again without any grave disapproval in his voice.

"And is this unease born of dignity, fear or envy?" the Lord of Suwa asked gently. "You see a married man in dalliance with one not his wife and are offended, are you? Or do you fear my son is also at play with another at the capital? Or perhaps you wish you could seek the same comfort in someone's arms?"

"The first. Only," Fai replied, adding the last word with a bit of emphasis and a twitch of a frown. His decisive manner of speaking gained him a curious look that spoke of wishing further explanation, so the wizard spoke again. "It's natural that I get upset when I see someone doing wrong. But that's all it is. I would never insult that one by suggesting he'd betray me, and if I were so weak as to actually wish to dishonor my marriage bed - which I am not, just to be clear - I'd never speak such a thing aloud."

"Wrong-doing, betrayal and dishonor. Those are heavy words," the Lord mused, giving the shorter man a long, contemplative look as he picked out a few of the phrases Fai had used. He then let out a short breath like a laugh and reached up to tug lightly at one of the blonde locks waving about in the breeze. "I don't know how it is, with your looks, but sometimes I forget that you aren't one of us born and bred."

It was a compliment to how well Fai had taken to himself all the ways and manners of his new home, as well as a mark of how well he was loved, and so the foreign-born princeling smiled even as he wondered what nuance of Nihon he had yet to be educated on. No matter how much he studied, it was simply impossible to be taught everything about a new country's culture. It would be foolish to try, in fact. There were scholars who devoted themselves to history, masters who knew all the ways in which behavior was regulated and restricted, and experts who understood the intricacies of politics, but all of that knowledge was only collected together in archives, not in every person in the general citizenry.

"One assumes you understand what it means to be someone's chosen one," his father-in-law said, and the blonde eyebrows went up again.

"One would hope," Fai responded, still smiling, "since I am your son's."

"And intended one?"

"Yes," the blonde answered. It was a little harder to define in words, but in essence, it was what he had been to Kurogane during the years they'd traveled with Syaoran and Mokona, while Sakura-chan had been waiting patiently in Clow. The ninja had made up his mind about what - and whom - he wanted while recuperating from the wounds he'd sustained during that final battle with Fei-Wang Reed, but in typical fashion, had not spoken his thoughts for some time, not having felt that he could honorably offer the one he loved a home when that home was still so uncertain and distant. Who knew how long it would be before Syaoran's quest was complete?

Fai, a little less willing to wait for "the right time", had changed the ninja's mind one night.

"And bonded one?" the Lord of Suwa then prompted, and the blonde head tipped slightly to one side and then shook slowly from side to side. Fai could make a guess, but he hadn't been taught, and while he hadn't connected all of the parts of this conversation together, he understood by instinct that all of this was important.

"It is no surprise that you haven't heard of that one," the taller man said. "The circumstances under which such relationships are formed are thankfully rare." There was another moment of silence as Fai waited patiently while his father-in-law ordered his thoughts.

"My son told me about your time together in Yama, and you yourself told me of one war you participated in during your years in Celes. Look about you now and tell me, do you not think these soldiers take better to war than the ones you've fought alongside in the past?"

Fai nodded, not needing to cast his gaze about as his father-in-law suggested. He'd been turning the matter over in his thoughts already, before this conversation.

"I had noticed, and attributed it to a happy combination of your good management and a natural taste among the men for battle," Fai replied, with another little nod-bow to bolster the compliment, which was accepted with a quick grin. This descendant of a dragon was not only honorable and respectable but good, and like his son, had little to nothing in the way of false modesty to make him deny such compliments.

"Some of their good spirits may be from those things, but I could not have hoped to carry a thousand men so far for so long and on such a journey without a single desertion or disciplinary action if it were not for the freedom each one had to find a bonded one for his own comfort." The dark head nodded at the encampment beyond Fai's shoulder. "Those you were frowning over - the ones you think are breaking faith with their chosen ones - they are bondmates."

The explanation continued, patient and calm, and Fai did his best to keep his mind open. If he wished to argue instead of accept, his father-in-law would listen to him, but for now the blonde simply listened.

"We go to war not just to win a contest of strength and wit and will, but to preserve and protect the homes and families and lives we leave behind. I would not risk even one life were it for nothing more than winning at something. But we fight so that we may return to the good lives we live, and a good life cannot be lived if a man does not return from the battlefield whole of mind and heart. A man is still a man so long as his spirit is intact, even if his body be broken, do you not agree?" Red eyes twinkled a bit at this question which could only have one answer.

"Of course," Fai replied, smiling softly as he thought of the months when his left eye had been an empty, ruined socket and of Kurogane, off at the Capital fighting demons with his biomechanical arm. During his first visit to Nihon, when he'd given up all of his remaining magic and had only one eye, he'd been more whole than in the years before when he'd had two blue eyes and a gaping hole where his heart should have been. And Kurogane...Kurogane had never been anything less than a whole and complete person at any time.

"War destroys more than the body," his father-in-law said then, voice growing more sober. "The longer the battle and the further from home, the harder it becomes to hold on to the good memories and hope of returning. Some men carry their strength with them wherever they go and can fight for a year without needing someone else to hold on to. But others draw their strength from having their loved ones about them, and like a plant without water, they wilt and weaken when torn away from all they hold dear. They need new sources of warmth to keep their heart-fires burning."

"...and so they warm themselves at a campfire instead of their hearth while they are away from home?" Fai asked, and received a nod. His smile had slipped away already, and now his brows knit together in a more decided frown than before. "And what is the difference, then, between finding a bonded one and taking a lover?"

"The difference between need and weakness, accepted and punishable, honor and betrayal," the taller man replied. "I said that the circumstances under which a bonded one was found were rare, and so they are. They are circumstances which truly break a man, not just circumstances under which a man is tempted to do wrong. War is one. The other is much the same but on a smaller scale; those quests on which a man is sent at the Mikado's orders, but she rarely sends one who cannot endure the journey."

Light eyes cut away from the speaker and gazed out across the water that was nearly as troubled, nearly as blue. Fai tried to see and understand the concept, but while his mind saw the logic and reasoning behind the practice, his heart had difficulty accepting such a thing. And his father-in-law had said it was accepted and honorable. Did the wives and lovers left behind understand this then, and know that their men were seeking comfort in another's embrace instead of in more destructive means such as a bottle or pipe, or unnecessary violence and risk?

It was accepted. It was considered socially acceptable. It was a common practice in an uncommon situation, part of life, part of the culture. Only strange and uncomfortable to one foreign to the land, such as Fai. Someone born and bred of the country would find it nothing out of the ordinary, normal even, not needing all this consideration and mental struggle. His father-in-law was standing here, patiently explaining something that, to him, was perfectly normal and acceptable.

Did the man's son also find it perfectly normal and acceptable?

The silence, backed by the bustle of the camp and music of the wind and water, stretched on for some time as Fai struggled with the new thoughts this cultural lesson was creating in his mind. Finally he chanced to glance more toward his father-in-law while his eyes cast back and forth aimlessly over the water and came back to himself. The blonde took in a breath in a manner that made it seem like he'd been holding his breath all this time, sighed it out and finally spoke again.

"Thank you for telling me these things," Fai said soberly, and while he was indeed grateful, it was gratitude for the edification, and not actual comfort. While he had been shown that his imported morals were the culprits behind his feeling offended, he was now troubled in a more personal manner than a general one, and it was hardly an improvement.

He was glad to be shown that he had no cause to be offended. It was something else besides to know that these bonds were creating no heartache in anyone but himself. Fai was perfectly happy to find out that he was just being silly, if the flip side of the embarrassment was to find out that no one was suffering what he'd thought they would be. But now that he knew these bonds being created were simply part of this culture he'd married into, he experienced a pang when wondering if his beloved, who was born of this world, had found himself a bondmate as well.

Kurogane would never betray him. But this was not considered betrayal. Fai had only traded one troubled thought for another, but still he was grateful even then, and so he said so.

The Lord of Suwa nodded, but just as Fai had not been comforted, neither was the commander satisfied. The sun had crept low while they talked, however, and it was time to return to their duties. Even during a peaceful spell in the middle of war there was plenty to be done by all, not just the men who shouldered most of the heavy work. The commander had met with his captains and some of the squad leaders, welcomed home and sent out more outriders and foot scouts, and made his morning tour of the camp. There were strategies yet to be discussed with the other battalion commanders and all manner of mental labor to be accomplished as the afternoon waned. The hour for their evening meal also approached, and it was his wont to spend that time not in eating a fine meal in the comfort of his tent, but in visiting about the entire camp.

The priest, who shared that tent, also shared his commander's schedule out of respect for the wisdom that prompted it and a desire to emulate that wisdom. Fai, knowing that his father-in-law enjoyed the small touch of home that eating a meal together provided, delayed his own dinner until it could be shared, out of pure affection.

"Duty calls," the lord said after nodding his acceptance of the wizard's gratitude, and then smiled at Fai's response of, "and we always answer". The dark head nodded again, in better satisfaction. His son-in-law was strange but settled, not bred to their culture but steeped in it. The Lord of Suwa had full confidence in the blonde's goodness of heart and sharpness of mind. It was well. They had addressed the dignity. There was time enough to talk of the fear and envy later.

"I will see you for the evening meal, then," he said, and then stepped closer on his way to leaving their grassy conference area first, as was proper for their respective stations. Long legs brought him within one step to Fai's side and he stopped to speak again while nodding his head to the east, where lay the capital. "And I believe I can see where your thoughts turn now. Before you begin frowning again, think now not on the people and the ways that you have married into, but of the one man you married, and see if you truly need furrow your brow."

Fai received a quick grin then and a light-hearted admonishment not to let his thoughts sour his stomach for his dinner, and then was left alone on the little peninsula. The blonde head lifted into the faint breezes, those clear blue eyes far away and contemplative, and perhaps a bit wistful, for a moment. Soon enough, the battalion's priest shook his head and settled himself with a brief sigh, and turned again to his duties.