ZAFT of the radiance
A Christmahanukwanzakah message from GlaDOS
Greetings from the Aperture science computer aided enrichment center. Since the author is indisposed it lands to me to give you all this message. As you know Christmahanukwanzakah is upon us and in this
holy time of the year where Hindu Santa travels throughout the dimensional space with his reindeer pulled TARDIS. Assisted by his army of elf ninja enforcers. And feast on the traditional Christmahanukwanzakah roast dodo while getting drunk on 40 proof tequila. It is a season of merriment and goodwill. And thus all of us in ZAFT of the radiance wish you seasons greetings.
Joyous Christmahanukwanzakah!
And Jesus was Jewish deal with it, now back to my experiments.
Special 7: In the year 25XX
We stop the plot for a short while to find the author still being tossed around space time. "DAMMIIIIIITTTT!" Only to finally escape and land in a ditch. "Oh god finally! Now to get back and... What the hell?"
The author finds himself in a dystopic city full of broken buildings and garbage as well as many destitute people walking around. "Where the hell am I?"
(Music from the song In the year 2525 starts playing)
In the year 25XX
If man is still alive
If author still survive
They may find.
In the year 35XX
Dark money in politics took over
Now the rich live in space colonies
While the poor are preyed by giant zombie bunnies.
"WHAT?!" Then a giant pink zombie rabbit bursts in from a building killing several people and eating a woman while the rest of the people scatter and Author is warped away.
In the year 45XX
Carbons took over a sunken world
Though we may never know their end
Since Legends 3 was canceled.
"Well this blows." Author then gets warped again.
In the year 55XX
Jesus Christ has been revived
Obviously he is mightily pissed
So he smites everyone who has sinned.
"Whoa, Wait what the?" Author gets teleported again before Jesus decapitates him with a sword while riding a flying horse on fire.
In the year 65XX
A thousand year peace has arrived
But in a world with no want or conflict
Everyone is now fat and lazy.
Author looks on as several really fat people are rolling down the street before warping again.
In the year 75XX
Ostrich now lords over the Earth
Overtaking the land from the machines
And hamster governs behind the scenes.
Author finds a wrecked Statue of Liberty with a robotic face in a desert shrugging it off with a meh before warping again.
In the year 85XX
Things are actually normal here
How very anti-climactic.
We're running out of comedic bits
In the year 95XX
The masses have ascended to the stars
Now dolphin watches over things
And of a giant crystal guardian they sing
"We really should end this." Author is petting a dolphin happily before warping away again.
Now its been 10,000 years
And this random number of scenes
But now nothing is seen
Oh shit is the sun going supernova?!
"This is bad." Then the sun explodes destroying everything in a flash of light. Only for the author to land back safely just outside at Aperture sciences enrichment facility 2. "That was weird..."
To be continued
Next chapter
Radiant ZAFT explores the depths of Onigafuchi discovering the location of Ridley's hideout. But there they stumble into the Puella Magi once again. Combined with the interference of Heartless, as well as
the witch Bernkastel. Complicate things for our heroes. The countdown to the season finale is nearing its end. Next time on ZAFT of the radiance: Road trip
Chapter 22: Countdown to G I'm sure you want to read now don't you?
