I'm posting this story because...well, I don't really know why. Essentially it's a collaboration between 22 year old me and 32 year old me. The plot for this came to me in a dream ten years ago. If any parts of this story sound like they were written by a punk-ass 22 year old who basically woke up every morning and thought to herself "OMG I'm sooooooooo deep"...well, it pretty much was. Now 32 year old me has rediscovered the old story bit on an old hard drive and decided to un-crapify it (as much as is possible). It's cornball and totally ridiculous, but it's fluffy and a little angsty, and hopefully not without a redeeming quality or two.
It was the biggest party the crew had seen in a long time. They were celebrating Seven of Nine's birthday. Of course, it wasn't her actual birthday, but rather the anniversary of her being severed from the collective. The only things that were still Borg about her were her facial implants. The doctor had worked fastidiously to find ways to safely remove the reminders of Seven's time with the Collective. Her facial implants were due to be removed the morning following the party.
The holodeck was running the Sandrine's program and the majority of the crew were already enjoying themselves. The guest of honour had not yet arrived. B'Elanna had been sent to fetch her from her new quarters. Captain Janeway had decided that since Seven was making such rapid advances in humanity that she should have a good old fashioned surprise party. She hoped it wouldn't be too overwhelming for her.
"Seven, hurry up! We're wasting holodeck time!" B'Elanna shouted to Seven. She'd been sitting on the sofa for ten minutes while Seven came out every so often with a different dress on. In order to preserve the secret of the surprise party, B'Elanna had told Seven that she had reserved the holodeck so they could run a romantic dinner program and that they should be dressed for such an occasion.
Seven was in her bedroom standing in front of her wardrobe. Her biosuits were pushed to one side, as she no longer needed to wear them. The rest of her wardrobe consisted of tunics and slacks, several sets of lounge wear, a few pairs of pyjamas, and three simple but elegant dresses, one of which she was trying to select for the evening's activities. "I won't be much longer. I just don't know if I should wear the red or the silver."
"You'd look beautiful in either of them," B'Elanna she called back and smiled. Seven had come a long way from the "Ice Princess" she once was. She used contractions in her speech on a regular basis, and she wasn't so condescending, only retreating into her old habits when she felt threatened. She'd learned how to deal with her emotions and truly began to leave the Borg behind her.
The half-Klingon and the ex-Borg had formed quite a deep bond in the past few months. The shift from verbal sparring partners to girlfriends was unexpected, to say the least. It certainly surprised the captain, who usually had to separate the two like they were children, but no one was more surprised at the new relationship than B'Elanna herself.
One month ago...
Seven distanced herself from B'Elanna. The silence stretched between them. The ex-drone had been the last one to say anything. She'd asked B'Elanna if she was comfortable, to which B'Elanna had replied, 'Stuff it, Borg.' Seven kept her cool and said simply, 'Very well.' It had been a only been silent for a few minutes, but it had seemed like a lifetime.
B'Elanna was restless. She and Seven were stuck together in that cave until Voyager came to retrieve them. Thankfully, the ship was in communications range with an ETA of two hours and seventeen minutes. They still had two hours and fourteen minutes to go.
They'd been part of an away mission to gather data on mineral deposits. The mineral was useless to Voyager, mainly for the reason that it was too easily malleable. A shifting deposit caused a slide that had covered the entrance to the cave that B'Elanna and Seven just happened to be in.
B'Elanna blamed Seven for their predicament. It was Seven who'd summoned her to the cave to seek shelter from a wind storm when the slide happened. And now she just sat there, a metre away, working with her tricorder and padd. It was all Seven's fault that they were stuck there.
"It is not my fault that we are stuck here," Seven said, not looking up from her work.
B'Elanna realised she must have said the last part of her thoughts out loud. "Well, I think it is. And if my mouth had any sense, it wouldn't have said anything."
Seven merely sighed and continued to analyse the data they'd collected. At least she'd be prepared when they had to report to the captain.
Seven looked at B'Elanna when the Klingon had stood up and begun to pace back and forth. "It is illogical to waste one's energy on such a fruitless activity," she said as she looked back to her data.
"The only thing that's fruitless is talking to you, Seven."
B'Elanna's words stung. Seven knew the engineer was agitated with the current circumstances, but it was no reason to be outwardly hostile. "I am sorry, Lieutenant."
B'Elanna sat back down. She didn't like Seven, or at least she hadn't liked Seven. The astrometrics officer had been working in engineering more often lately and truth be told, B'Elanna was developing a sort of fondness for her. True, Seven once was a member of the Borg, but she wasn't responsible for her actions then. B'Elanna knew Seven's memories of being a drone already caused her a great deal of heartache, and B'Elanna had sought to exploit that guilt on behalf of the millions of people the Borg had assimilated over the years. B'Elanna never had any close female friends, so she wasn't sure how to go about befriending Seven. She had decided to carry on as usual until she figured out how to broach the friendship subject. That last remark was a little over the top, she thought. I'd better apologise.
"I'm sorry, Seven. It really isn't fruitless talking to you." B'Elanna didn't make eye contact.
"You hate me. You hate me for who I am," Seven said. A single tear rolled down her cheek, but she gave no indication of actually crying. The ex-Borg put her padd down next to her and looked down sadly as she folded her hands in her lap.
B'Elanna knew she should say something, but couldn't think of anything that would even begin to atone for the amount of abuse she'd hurled at the woman since Seven had joined the crew. She was afraid that Seven would look her in the eye with those eyes that were too blue and seemed to stare a hole right through her.
"Although I still cannot recall what offence I have committed against you, I apologise all the same." She picked up her padd and continued working, acting as if the tear didn't exist.
One of B'Elanna's hearts sank. How could I let her feel this way? She thinks she's responsible for me not liking her! Say something, B'Elanna! "You think you've offended me?"
Seven never looked up from her padd. "Why else would you be aggressive toward me?"
B'Elanna felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach. I can't believe she thinks she's done something wrong! I'm the biggest heel. B'Elanna moved closer to Seven and knelt beside her. Seven only stared down at the padd in her hands. She looked like she was about to cry, but she didn't make a sound. B'Elanna reached out a hand and turned Seven's head to face her, while using her other hand to take Seven's Borg enhanced one. Another tear fell from her eye onto B'Elanna's hand. I think it's time to explain. "I hate-hated...who you were. I blamed you for the sins of the Collective. I know you didn't ask to be assimilated."
"No. I didn't." A third tear made its way down her pale face.
"I know." B'Elanna stroked Seven's soft cheek with her thumb. "It took me a lot longer than it should have to realise that. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I am the one who is sorry. I am sorry I stayed on Voyager. I have caused too much tension. I do not fit in. I am disliked for who I am and I am disliked for who I was. I do not know how to change." Unable to keep her feelings compartmentalised any longer, a quiet sob escaped her lips.
B'Elanna pulled the crying woman into her arms. She stroked Seven's hair and just let her cry. She'd never seen Seven shed any tears before now, and she thought Seven had never looked more beautiful; not because she was enjoying the sight of the Seven breaking down, but rather because Seven outwardly displaying emotions was something that was rarely seen.
"Why?"
B'Elanna looked down at Seven. She wasn't sure if Seven had actually said anything because the her face was buried in the space where B'Elanna's neck met her shoulder.
"Why?" she said again as she pulled back to face B'Elanna.
"Why what?" B'Elanna asked softly, brushing away the soft blonde hair that stuck to Seven's tear stained face.
"Why were you so cruel to me?" Seven looked B'Elanna straight in the eye and gripped her arm tightly.
B'Elanna closed her eyes and tried to find the right words. Here was the most uncompromising, tenacious member of the crew crying on her shoulder. B'Elanna had never misjudged anyone the way she had misjudged Seven. "Because I'm jealous of you, Seven." Her eyes were still closed. She didn't want to see Seven's reaction.
She didn't see it, but she felt it. The half-Klingon's eyes opened wide when she felt a light pressure on her lips. She saw Seven's cybernetic implant over her left eye closer then she'd ever imagined she would. Then there was the matter of the hand wrapping itself around the back of B'Elanna's neck. It began to tousle her hair. B'Elanna closed her eyes and slowly leaned into Seven. A few moments went by, and a few more after them. When they broke apart Seven looked satisfied while B'Elanna just panted with a bewildered look on her face.
"Why are you jealous of me?" Seven asked. "I am imperfect."
"You stay calm when things are at their worst. You're more efficient than I am. I mean, you could be the chief engineer with all your technical knowledge. You-"
Seven stopped B'Elanna's mouth with a kiss. This one wasn't as long, but neither of them seemed to mind.
As they separated, B'Elanna closed her eyes and continued. "You know what it's like to be different." B'Elanna kept her hand in Seven's while her other hand tripped lightly up and down Seven's spine. "And nobody's perfect, Seven. You should never have to apologise for who you are."
"But people do not like me," Seven said as she rested her head on B'Elanna's shoulder.
"That's not true. The captain likes you. Neelix likes you. Tom likes you. Harry likes you," B'Elanna offered as she rubbed Seven's back.
"Ensign Kim likes to look at me. My legs in particular."
B'Elanna smiled. "I'll give you that one. But it's in an approving way!"
Seven let out a nervous chuckle. It wasn't a sound B'Elanna had ever heard from the former drone, but she liked the sound of it.
B'Elanna moved Seven's head so she was looking her straight in the eye; then she put her heart on the line. "And I like you."
"I like you as well." A faint smile touched Seven's lips.
"Even after all the mean things I've said and done to you?"
"I have always liked you. You are strong and persistent. You are respected by your staff."
B'Elanna smiled at the childlike woman in front of her. "I think it's because they're scared of me."
Seven let out another chuckle. "You say many things when you are experiencing stress or anger, but I believe most people know you are not being serious. If you followed through on your threats I would have been blown out an airlock several times. Also, people do not fear Klingons as they do the Borg."
"People are scared of what they don't understand. Klingons aren't such a mystery, but so much is unknown about the Borg. A Klingon's gonna have a short temper and seek to preserve honour, generally through violence. But no one knows much about what it's like to be a drone because rescuing them and rehabilitating them is pretty much unheard of."
As B'Elanna's words sunk in, Seven nodded slowly. "That is an accurate statement."
"Look, I've been horrible to you, Seven, and I'm sorry. The first time I saw you all I saw was a cold, calculating monster. I thought trying to restore your humanity was a waste of time and resources. It took me a long time to realise that you never asked to be assimilated and the blame for what happened lies with your parents. I can't imagine putting your child in danger because you need to study one of the most deadly species in existence up close and personally. None of what happened to you was your fault, but I was convinced it was. I know some people, including myself, were openly disrespectful to you, but I never thought it got to you. You always looked so impassive. I never realised that underneath that 12 percent of Borg implants there was a frightened little girl who had no idea how to interact with the people around her. There's no excuse for my behaviour, Seven, but I hope you can forgive me."
"Yes. I forgive you." There was more Seven wanted to say, but she didn't want to ruin the moment. She wanted to let B'Elanna know how she felt about her, but with her limited experience with expressing emotions, she was afraid; afraid that she would say the wrong thing, but mostly afraid that B'Elanna wouldn't feel the same way. I cannot hide it anymore, she thought. I have nothing to lose. "I love you, B'Elanna."
B'Elanna's other heart sank, but not out of shame, but rather disappointment that Seven had said those words first. "I love you, too, Seven." A moment passed. "Um, Seven? Can I ask you a question?"
"You may," Seven replied succinctly.
"Why did you kiss me earlier?" B'Elanna asked. "Not that I didn't like it, because I did," she added quickly. "I was just curious because I don't think I've ever seen you kiss anyone and I was...um..." she rambled.
"I kissed you because I love you, B'Elanna. My research indicates that is an acceptable display of affection between two people who care for each other. Is that not correct?"
Shaking her head, B'Elanna ran her thumb over the back of Seven's hand. "It's correct. I guess I didn't realise how much time and effort you were spending on researching human behaviours."
Seven nodded slowly. "Research is necessary for successful adaptation. I would like to be accepted as completely human in the future."
"It'll happen, Seven. The Doctor's working on ways to wean you off regeneration, and he's been looking into safe ways to remove your implants. Before you know it people won't even remember you used to be a Borg drone."
"That is unlikely, but thank you for trying to make me feel better."
B'Elanna smiled sweetly at Seven. "You'd be surprised how forgiving people are. Everyone's been 'the new guy' at some point in their life and has had to work to fit in. No one has the right to hold anything you've done during your adjustment period against you. Take us Maquis crew members for example. We were a bunch of ragtag outlaws with a common goal of handing the Cardassians asses to them. We were Starfleet dropouts and renegades who would do anything to eradicate anything even remotely Cardassian. We were used to doing whatever it took to get the job done. But when we merged with the Voyager crew, we had to conform to a standard of conduct, integrity, and responsibility. Most of us had attitude problems because we had chips on our shoulders, but over time we found common ground and now we all work together and appreciate each person's experience. It takes time, Seven. But I really believe you can show people you're not as unfeeling and rigid as they think you are."
"I will work on my interpersonal skills."
"I know the Doctor's been working with you with that, but if you ever want to practice with a real live breathing person, you could always ask me," B'Elanna offered.
Seven nodded slightly as a grin broke out on her face. "I would like that very much."
B'Elanna squeezed Seven's hand and returned the grin. "Me too."
B'Elanna shook herself out of her reverie and got up to go help Seven choose a dress. "We're going to be late! I only have the holodeck from 1900 to 2030, so if we don't leave now-" She stopped as she saw Seven emerge from the sleeping area. Her jaw dropped. The former drone was wearing an ankle length, strapless, shimmering silver sheath dress. Her hair was down, falling in soft waves around her shoulders. She glowed from head to toe.
"Do you like it?" Seven said as she indicated the dress.
B'Elanna blinked hard as she shook her head. "Amazing," was all she could get out. She'd never seen Seven look so beautiful. Seven turned and looked in the floor length mirror. B'Elanna came up behind her and put a hand on Seven's bare shoulder. "We should go," she whispered softly into Seven's ear.
Seven reached up and touched B'Elanna's cheek. "I'm ready."
The party was a success. Seven socialised with almost everyone at the party. B'Elanna and Captain Janeway were seated at a table in the corner. They'd been having an in-depth conversation about the guest of honour.
"Has Seven said anything about being called Annika?" Kathryn asked B'Elanna.
"She told me she's going to wait a while before she's known as Annika. She thinks it's too much, too soon. I don't know if I can call her Annika. She's been Seven for so long."
Kathryn smiled. "Somehow I think you'll manage." She placed a hand on B'Elanna's knee. "It's good to see you two've become friends. To be honest, I wondered what I was going to do about you two. I was just hoping you'd reach some sort of working relationship before you tried to throw each other in the warp core."
B'Elanna chuckled as Kathryn stood up. "I'm going to freshen my drink. Can I get you anything?"
"No, thanks," B'Elanna said, smiling.
Kathryn sauntered to the bar. B'Elanna's eyes sought out Seven, who was definitely enjoying herself. She was talking with Harry Kim. Seven threw her head back and laughed at something Harry had whispered in her ear. It was music to B'Elanna's ears. Suddenly a large body stepped right in front of her face. She looked up to see a drunken Tom Paris leering at her.
"So, Lanna," he slurred, "I'm glad you and Seven have become friends." He paused to wipe the drool off his lips. "Hey, now that you and I aren't together anymore, could you put in a good word to Seven for me? Ya know, so I can ask her out?"
B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "Tom, she's not looking for a relationship."
He crossed his arms. "How do you know?" He suddenly sounded worried. "You two aren't dating, are you?"
B'Elanna was getting impatient. "Tom, what do you want? And don't say a date with Seven."
He uncrossed his arms and got down on one knee to face her, nearly falling over in the process. His hand reached out and rested on her knee. She promptly removed it. "I want to kiss you, B'Elanna Torres." And he did.
B'Elanna tried to shove him away, but he put his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. She couldn't break free. He must have started exercising to blow off steam after we broke up, she thought. She closed her eyes and decided to let him finish. She knew him well enough to know that he'd eventually get bored and move on.
"B'Elanna?"
Her eyes shot open. The voice must have startled Tom because he broke the kiss and spun around. It was Seven's voice.
"What are you doing?" The voice belonged to Seven. The look on her face was one of shock and hurt. She spun on her heel and ran crying out of the holodeck.
B'Elanna pushed Tom away from her. "Thanks, Tom."
He looked around, confused. "You're welcome?"
B'Elanna sat alone in the mess hall. Her head was in her hands. Before her sat an untouched plate of banana pancakes. Anyone who knew the engineer knew that her banana pancakes didn't last long. It didn't take a genius to see she was hurting.
Captain Janeway entered the mess hall determined to finish reading the reports from the previous night. She got her requisite cup of coffee and made her way to an empty table. Just as she put the padds she was carrying down, she spotted B'Elanna. The captain's heart sank. She'd never seen her fiery engineer look like that. She left the padds and coffee on the table and walked over to B'Elanna.
"Wanna talk about it?" she asked softly, placing a reassuring hand on B'Elanna's shoulder.
B'Elanna looked up at the captain. Her eyes were red and swollen. She looked as if she'd been crying for quite a while. "Um...sure...ma'am." She brought a hand to her face to wipe away the tears that kept coming.
Janeway smiled compassionately as she sat down across from the other woman. "B'Elanna, you're not talking to Captain Janeway right now. This is Kathryn speaking. What's wrong?"
B'Elanna took a deep breath as she looked into the captain's storm cloud coloured eyes. "It's Seven. She won't talk to me. I know she's mad, but she won't talk to me!" More tears spilled over B'Elanna's lashes.
"Have you tried?"
B'Elanna nodded slowly. "She just walks away from me. She won't even hear me out. I feel awful about what happened."
Kathryn looked at her hands. Seven was a complicated issue. She was making great progress in becoming fully human, but she was unaccustomed to some of the more intense emotions that went with humanity. While most people had their whole lives to develop them, Seven had only had five years. "I'm sure she'll come to you when she's ready. She just needs time. She's hurting, B'Elanna."
"And I'm not?" B'Elanna snapped.
"B'Elanna, that's not what I meant. Just listen to me. There's only one person more stubborn on this ship than Seven, and that's you. Keep trying. You'll reach her."
B'Elanna had left the mess hall and returned to her quarters, rolling the captain's words over and over in her mind. She had to fix this. "Computer, locate Seven of Nine," B'Elanna asked with her arms crossed, staring out the window.
"Seven of Nine is in her quarters."
Great, B'Elanna thought. She'd planned exactly what she was going to say. Now she just had to say it. She left her quarters walking with a purposeful stride, but underneath that confident exterior were two hearts that threatened to beat their way out of her chest.
Seven's quarters weren't too far from B'Elanna's. She never asked but she was sure that Seven had requested quarters near her own. She was flattered.
As she made the last few feet to Seven's door, her stomach suddenly felt like it was full of Ktarian butterflies. You have to do this, she told herself.
She pressed the door chime.
Nothing.
She pressed it again. Still nothing. B'Elanna's mind raced with possibilities. She keyed Seven's override code into the door panel and the doors slid open. Not sure what she would find, B'Elanna carefully tiptoed around the other woman's quarters. She peeked into the sleeping area and saw Seven lying in bed. Her back was to the door; her shoulders were shaking, and the sounds of muffled crying punctuated the silence.
B'Elanna walked over to the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed; her left hand reaching out and coming to rest on Seven's hip. "I'm so sorry, Seven. I love you. I really do. I can't-"
Seven whimpered as she threw off the covers and ran out of her quarters. B'Elanna heard a sob, then she heard the doors shut. The engineer leaned forward and put her head in her hands, sighing as tears came to her eyes. Eventually Seven would have to stop running. Voyager wasn't an especially large ship. She couldn't hide forever. After taking several long, deep breaths to eliminate the threat of crying, B'Elanna stood up.
"Computer, locate Seven of Nine."
"Seven of Nine is in holodeck two."
B'Elanna entered the holodeck slowly. This apology wasn't going the way she had hoped it would but she was not about to give up. She heard Seven play a few bars of Pachelbel's Canon in D followed by silence as she hung her head to cry. B'Elanna took advantage of still being unnoticed to see what Seven considered "relevant" enough to put in her programme. She found herself in a ballroom. The floor was a dark hardwood; large windows stretched from ceiling to floor covered by thick scarlet velvet drapes. A fire burned in the ornate fireplace; above it was a large oil painting of a familiar blonde woman. B'Elanna stared at it, realising that it was Seven in period dress, minus her implants. It dawned on her that Seven must have created this place as a way to forget about what being Borg drone had entailed. This place was opulent, warm, inviting, and far from the cold, sterile, utilitarian Collective she used to be part of. B'Elanna wondered how many times Seven had run this specific programme after they'd fought. That thought tore a hole in B'Elanna's hearts because, once again, B'Elanna had hurt Seven, and worse, those times it was intentional. And now she stood there watching Seven at the grand piano in the middle of the room, feeling like a interloper in Seven's sanctuary.
The sound of Seven crying stabbed B'Elanna's heart. She wanted to run to Seven, gather her into her secure arms and just hold her until she understood just how much B'Elanna loved her. But that couldn't be done. B'Elanna had to take it slow and leave no room for doubt.
Seven kept playing a little bit at a time, never getting further than four or five bars at a time before she stopped to cry. B'Elanna couldn't take it anymore. She walked up to Seven and sat on the other half of the bench. Seven looked at B'Elanna, then turned her attention quickly to the keys.
The engineer took a deep breath. "Look, Seven. We need to talk."
Seven kept staring at the piano. "Talk," she said hoarsely.
B'Elanna reached out for Seven's hand. "Not here," she pleaded.
Seven groaned in frustration as she stood and walked to the window. She crossed her arms and looked out at the massive expanse of the estate.
B'Elanna never took her eyes off the former drone. "Come on, Seven. We both look like shit from crying." She instantly wished she hadn't said that. If she hadn't said it, Seven wouldn't have run from the holodeck. Her head dropped until her chin rested on her chest. Kathryn's right. She'll come to me when she's ready. B'Elanna stood up, ended the programme, and left the holodeck.
She walked back to her quarters slowly and without looking at anyone as she passed them in the corridor. She knew the majority of them had seen the kissing incident on the holodeck and she didn't feel like fielding questions. She just wanted the hurt to stop. And she couldn't get it to stop until Seven came to her. As she rounded the corner she saw Seven standing in front of her door; tears were spilling down her cheeks. B'Elanna met her gaze and immediately saw the pain in her eyes, the need to be comforted.
B'Elanna quickened her pace and came to embrace Seven. Seven hugged her friend tightly. B'Elanna pulled away and took Seven's arm and entwined it with her own. She brought Seven's hand to her lips and kissed it as she led Seven into her quarters. B'Elanna continued to kiss Seven's fingers as she led her to her bedroom.
Seven's tears kept falling as B'Elanna sat her on the edge of the bed. Seven drew her legs up and curled up in the foetal position. B'Elanna came around the other side of the bed and climbed in and lay so she was facing Seven. B'Elanna reached out a hand to Seven, who took it and held it.
"You have no idea what you mean to me, Seven. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. You mean everything to me. I never told anyone this, but in the beginning, every time after we fought I'd go to my office and cry. I knew I was out of line and you were an easy target. So many times I wanted to just say that I was sorry and we should start over and try to be friends because I know we're a lot alike. Neither of us asked to be different and we both know what it's like to be called a freak. I love you, Seven. I know you probably don't believe me right now, but I'm not going to stop trying to make you see how I feel about you. I don't love Tom. He was drunk and caught me by surprise when he kissed me. You're the one I want to be with. I want to show you the love and care you deserve. If you'll let me, that is."
Seven moved forward, gently rolling B'Elanna onto her back as she positioned herself so she could reach the half-Klingon's lips with her own.
"So does this mean you're not mad at me?" B'Elanna asked when Seven moved to kiss down the engineer's jaw line.
"I'm not mad at you," Seven said as she looked momentarily into B'Elanna's brown eyes before returning to kissing the engineer's neck.
"One more thing," B'Elanna husked as Seven nuzzled her ear.
An impatient growl came from Seven as she once again paused her ministrations to look deep into the other woman's brown eyes again.
"I was wondering if you'd like to make it official and we could maybe be in a romantic relationship."
"HIja', wIj parmqqay," Seven replied before taking B'Elanna's lips once more.
HIja', wIj parmqqay = 'yes, my beloved'