So I know I should be working on Scattered Piece but I came across this fantastic challenge (fic?) by NekoiKurona called Inspiration Ideas List. The original challenge ( #3) was : (Alternate Universe) Luffy is a new teacher at Grand Line Academy and he has to teach the notoriously bad class of trouble-makers. (Can be like GTO)

I obviously played around with it since the story does not take place at Grand Line Academy but Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, and the student's aren't deliquents (well, at least not all of the.) Nonetheless this challenge was what gave me the inspiration for this fic. So I am crediting it. (And you really should check it out, there are quite a few interesting plot bunnies there.)

Also I'm not sure if I will actually make this story into an actual fullblown one or just leave it as it is. Depends on my mood and time I guess, but no promises.

Now then, onto the actual fic I guess!

Draco Malfoy furrowed his brows in confusion. Professor Snape had come for dinner in the Malfoy Manor only yesterday and not once was the man's assistant mentioned. Yet standing behind the staff table in the Grand Hall and bearing an idiotic grin was a boy Dumbledore had introduced as the new Potion's Assistant Professor. This Monkey D. Luffy (what kind of name was that?) hardly looked old enough to be of legal age to apparate, let alone allowed to hold a teaching (assistant) position in Hogwarts. Nevertheless, Draco wasn't all too surprised; it was only obvious to assume that Dumbledore was finally going over the edge with his hiring a child and all that. Oh, how the pale Slytherin hoped that this would finally spell the end of Dumbledore's tyrannical regime. (And no, he was not being melodramatic there, thank you very much.)

The Slytherin scanned his gaze over the lengthy table inhabiting Hogwart's staff. Resting his eyes over Snape's furious face, Draco smirked. It seemed that the professor didn't quite agree with Dumbledore's latest idea. Draco's smirk grew into a gleeful smile as he imagined all the cruel and torturous acts of vengeance Snape would subject the unsuspecting boy to. How delightful.

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What in bloody hell is Dumbledore doing? Severus thought to himself heatedly. This was the first the Potion's professor was hearing of this assistant. Where could the boy (no way could this Monkey be considered a man) come from? He certainly wasn't there for the quick staff meeting held last night, where they made any last minute arrangements.

For the first time in his life Severus completely disregarded the more perilous threat (in this case a blob of pink) in favour of cursing both his barmy superior and (most probably) hormonal subordinate with words that would surely give him a one way ticket to Azkaban if ever uttered out loud. The last thing he needed was another moronic teenager in his classes, especially if this one was going to be in all his classes! And why is a staff member being sorted of all things? Severus internally exclaimed.

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The Sorting Hat sighed in discomfort as it was roughly pulled over the boys head. Most assumed that it enjoyed these few moments of company, but truthfully they were annoying at most. True, once in a decade you'd come across an interesting individual with a mind worth deciphering, like Potter and Riddle's, but most of the time it was just worthless rubbish. The Sorting Hat would much rather be sitting on its nice little shelf alternating its life between sleeping and reading Yeats. But no- it was subjected to the cruel boredom of the magical mind, and it seemed like this time would not be so different, regardless of the unusual circumstances.

Now, normally the Sorting Hat would expect that the mind of an adult to finally be complex enough to challenge its strengths. The Hat hoped that sorting this individual to be no easy feat. Alas, it was to be disappointed. Monkey D. Luffy was by no mean's a challenge. For Inisfree's sake he was thinking about meat of all things! Unfortunately the Sorting Hat would not be allowed to go back to its life of comfort and luxury until this last task was performed, so with a heavy sigh it said, "How interesting, how interesting." (It was hardly interesting.)

"Wooaah, you can talk!" Luffy exclaimed. The boy reached upwards to pull the hat of his head, but was interrupted by it.

"No need to pull me off boy, nor to speak aloud." The Sorting Hat would roll it's eyes now, if it had any, " I can hear your thoughts as you hear mine."

"That's so cool!" Luffy cried, then clamping his hands over his mouth thought quite loudly, "I mean- that's so cool! How do you do that?"

The Sorting Hat blinked it's startled eyes (not that it had any eyes to do so, yohohohoho sku-err, hat joke!). Not many asked that question...probably because they already knew the answer. "It's magic m'boy. The great energies of the world have gifted me with the ability to think and speak. It is thanks to them I am sentient and therefore I am indebted to them to perform the duties of these sortings."

"Aaahh," Luffy contemplated, "You're a mystery hat!"

Ravenclaw was obviously out of question. "Sure, let's just go with that." The Sorting Hat then proceeded to delve further into the boy's mind. It really did want to go home soon.

"Eeehh, what're you doing?" Luffy whined, "That tickles!"

This time the Sorting Hat was truly surprised, "You can feel that?"

"Yeah, it feels like someone tickling my brain with a feather!" Luffy giggled.

This was an odd turn of development for the Sorting Hat, not many were able to detect it's intrusion into the mind. Nonetheless it really didn't want to waste too much time with this sorting. "I'm merely travelling, so to speak, through your thoughts and memories. They are what I use to sort you into a house."

"Well, I don't know why you'd need to sort me into a house but okay. Just try to be less tickle-ish." Luffy said.

"I'll try." The Hat drawled, and ignoring the boy's continuous laughter it forced its way through all the scattered thoughts and emotions. Happiness and anticipation were the most frequent of emotions the Sorting Hat felt in its journey, while fear and sorrow were next to nonexistent. There were many images as well, a straw hat, various types of meat, the ocean, a ship with the queerest of figureheads, an oddly shaped fruit.

Peering closer at the ship the Hat could make out various faces. Finally, something to go on. They were an oddly assembled bunch: a sturdy man with green hair sparring with a suit clad opponent, a girl hugging a chest full of gold, a teddy bear like creature attending to an injured skeleton, a long nosed boy waving his arms in an exaggerated manner as a large man made mostly of metal watched on enthusiastically, and a young woman sitting off to the side with a book in two hands and a cup of tea in a third. Finally, to complete the image was Luffy. The boy himself was lazing about in the crow's nest of the ship watching the scene below him.

The Sorting Hat was ambushed with a rush of emotion. Love, there was so much love Luffy had felt at this time, and the loyalty to be felt was enormous. The Hat immediately understood that the boy would die for these people, these friends. Monkey D. Luffy would put aside the world, his dream, everything for the sake of his friends. Betrayal was nonexistent in the bond he had formed with them. They were his life, and he was willing to sacrifice anything for it.

The Sorting Hat was overwhelmed by the strong emotions. There was no doubt, no fear. Everything was as it was. The Hat just couldn't fathom how this was possible. Never in it's life had it come across one so ...simple. A person with no regard whatsoever of external distractions. A person who, once the choice was made, would not falter his decisions. There was no complexity to be found in the mind of Monkey D. Luffy. Everything was straightforward. Yet, the boy could not have been more intriguing. To be so sure, so confident, so assertive, what star could this boy have possibly been born under?

For once in its life the Sorting Hat was as sure as Luffy. The boy was not brave, he lacked the fear. Nor was he cunning, he was too simple. Neither was he smart, everything was a mystery to him. There was only one place that this boy belonged. Only one house which could possibly fit this enigma.

Taking in a deep breath the Sorting Hat released itself from the boy's mind. Now conscious of the surrounding world, it knew that barely a quarter minute had passed. The faces in the crowd did not yet look impatient, nothing was out of the ordinary. Yet, the Sorting Hat was surprised; it had felt as though an eternity had been passed...

"Why're you taking so long Mystery Hat?" Luffy inquired as he dragged his eyes upwards trying to see in that direction without lifting his head.

The Sorting Hat chuckled gravely, "Amazing...for once I actually don't feel like returning."

"What'd you say?"

The Hat ignored Luffy's last question in favour of finally bellowing the name of the House the boy had been sorted into. "Hufflepuff!"

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Hermione Granger was surprised. She was so sure that Assistant Professor Luffy would be sorted into Ravenclaw. Honestly, how else would one expect to gain a teaching position in Hogwarts at such a young age, even if it was as an assistant. Yet the man (well more like a boy really) had been put into Hufflepuff. Odd, the House was for "all the rest", it didn't quite add up. Nonetheless Hermione was sure that she'd be able to question the Assistant Professor on some later date, what really irked her was that horrendous beast of a ministry spy! How dare she...

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There was so much food. Luffy stared at it all with widened eyes. He really knew that he shouldn't be wasting his time here. His crew had probably noticed he was missing by now and was worried. It would be most logical of him to spend any possible minute trying to find a way back to the New World...but...there was so much food. Monkey D. Luffy began to drool.

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Albus was quite glad that he had the foresight to put a glamour charm over the new Assistant Professor. When he had fed Luffy in the afternoon the Headmaster had been more then surprised at the boys eating habits. Fortunately Albus knew that charming Luffy during dinner so that it looked as though he were eating his food at a normal, sane pace instead of being the epitome of a humanoid vacuum, would be most appreciated in the long run.