エピローグ

Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Fanfic

Pairing: 2786 (TsunaHaru)

Description: They rode the train every day, just him and her. She should've seen it coming. AU

Shout out to LadyDream3512: I totally wasn't thinking about writing an epilogue. BUT YOU IMPLANTED THE IDEA INTO MY MIND. Sorry it took such a long time. This apology is to you and the readers. The reason the epilogue exists is because of you!

note: LadyDream3512. Yup. A whole lot of awesome. You readers and reviewers. Are love. TsunaHaru. Forever. It exists. Now please proceed reading.

When Haru woke up in the morning, she felt dead exhausted. She rubbed at her tired, bleary eyes. What time was it? Her eyes automatically flicked towards the direction of the clock hanging on the wall. The reaction was immediate; the blanket was kicked off to the side, the light-switch was smacked on and she was running towards the bathroom as fast as she could. She was going to be late; she was going to be late, late, late for schoo-

The realization came over her and the impact hit her like the way she had fallen off the bus. It hurt and felt like she was being torn apart. The events of yesterday washed over her and she felt broken. Mentally. Physically. And then the emotions crashed into her mind, like the way chaotic waves reached the shore at the many beaches she had been to. Humiliation. Anger. Self-pity. Embarrassment. Heartbroken. So this was what a one-sided regret was like.

She had always heard from fellow female friends about their painful experiences, how they had given their all to a boy that charmed them profusely and it turned out…

That boy wouldn't return their feelings.

She'd been in love before. She had. But it hadn't been a one sided crush. It hadn't been a crush. It had been-Her mind grappled with the thought and forcefully buried it away.

She would always sympathize and reach out to those friends, but never quite understood them. She had always wondered why those girls made such a big deal when it was so obvious that there tons of other boys in the world. Much better males. She had assumed that the love they talked about was nothing but a crush, something trivial that would be forgotten about in due time.

Oh how wrong she had been.

She had always seen it in the movies, dramas, television shows. Most romantic novels or manga she picked up would mention it here and there. And she never quite understood it. Because she had never been in a one-sided love before. And then her mind was wandering to that time and she forcibly shut the memory away. Never again. She would never remember that horrible time again…Not when she had this to deal with.

How was she going to go to school? She'd see Tsuna for sure. She'd see his friends. And by now, Makoto had probably told a good amount of people already…How was she going to face the humiliation? How was she going to face him? How-How was she- She inhaled sharply and shook her head.

No, she had to get ready for school first. Then she could freak out and worry about how to deal with the situation.

When she entered the train station, Junko was waiting for her; sipping away at the tea she drank every morning. Haru tightened her fists. She would not cry, she would not cry. She would not look at Junko in the face. If she did, then she would surely cry. So she focused on the plastic bottle in Junko's grasp. It looked crinkled and squashed at the areas where Junko had applied more force with her hand.

It looked exactly the way she felt.

And she cried. She cried and cried till she was sure the taste of salt would never leave her taste buds again. "Oh Haru," Junko murmured as she pulled the bawling girl into a hug. "You stupid, loveable girl." Haru sniffled, trying to dim down the volume of her cries. People around the two were casting strange looks at Haru and the girl felt like she wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there for a long time. She hadn't even gotten to school yet. And already, people were staring.

It occurred to Haru that she was the type that really cried when she shed tears. There were the elegant girls that silently shed tears without a blotch or sign of swollen eyes to mar their pretty looks. There were the stoic ones that did not shed physical tears, but rather cried inside. There were the over-emotional ones that went into hysterics when they cried. And then there were people like her. The ungraceful ones with the red, blotchy faces and swollen eyes while using their voices as a source of release for their broken souls.

To Haru, her voice sounded like she was choking and hiccupping at the same time. And it did not sound appealing at all; it didn't sound like the way the beautiful actresses sounded whenever they cried when they were acting. Haru nearly laughed a bitter laugh. How could she think about something so trivial at a time like this?

Because my mind was made like this, she thought to herself. To never be normal. That's me.

"Come on, let's go," Junko urged. "We should go. The train's coming. C'mon. Wipe your tears away. There you go, that's a good girl-Haru!" The girl's face was mixed with exasperation and pity. "Don't you start crying again!"

Haru wiped at her tears again, smiling a little bit as she did so. "Heehee. Sorry." Junko shook her head reproachfully. "You really…You like Tsuna. That's impossible. Why do you always have to love people so easily? Don't you remember-"

Haru froze and stared at Junko with hollow eyes. "Don't talk about it," she hissed angrily. "It never happened. It never happened, alright?" Junko pursed her lips. "Alright, Haru. Calm down. C'mon, let's go already. People are staring, you know."

Let them stare, Haru thought to herself silently. People are always looking at you, what does it matter? Let them look. People do it all the time. That's how they judge others.

She remembered all the times she'd sent him texts.

And every time, he'd usually never answer. And on those rare occasions that he did, they'd be short. Brief. Rare.

She was really very sensitive about things like this, she realized. She was a person who texted as if she were talking. Every time she texted, there'd be an miniscule explosion of emoticon happiness. If she was very happy…there'd be a whole explosion of emoticons. Haru was the type of person who preferred long texts with emoticons.

It really was unfair.

Every single time he did reply, her heart would split in two. She'd be happy that he'd reply…But she'd want to scream at him.

Why won't you reply more? Why won't you say anything else besides that?

Every time he brought her a little piece of happiness…He was really in fact killing her too.

Haru bit her lip, frantic. He was sure to be inside the library with the others…She couldn't go into there! Well, she didn't really have a choice. She couldn't go down to the cafeteria. She couldn't. Not that place. She felt too lonely there. She swallowed and strode in, swiping her ID card as she did so. Before, she would practically skip into the library as if she were going to a meadow full of daisies and sunshine. Now she felt like she was in a morgue.

Haru squared her shoulders before entering the computer section of the library, heart pounding at the sight of her friends and…him. He didn't look nervous or tense. He looked fine. Absolutely fine. Why was that? Ah…

That was right. He didn't like her that way.

Mustering all the emotional strength that her mind contained, she walked into the room, trying to plaster on her usual smile. Makoto flashed his mischievous smile at her and inside her mind, Haru sighed. It was always like this. Why couldn't she ever stay mad at someone? Why did she always forgive those who hurt her? Why couldn't her anger hold just this once? Every single time, she'd forgive them.

Hajime.

And she blinked once, twice, was in front of her, regarding her with a little smile. Her mouth opened in surprise, her eyes giving him a smile of their own. Makoto regarded the two with a cocky smile before turning to talk to Junko. And then Haru frowned. Why was Tsuna smiling at her? He never smiled without a reason.

Could it be…?

Her fists tightened and the expression on her face soured before striding away. She planted herself in a chair and pulled out a notebook out of her bag. Studying the notebook for a brief moment, she opened a new document and typed away. Her fingers moved rapidly across the keyboard until she could only hear the keys moving vigorously.

"Calm down, Haru. It's like you're going to die any moment at the rate you're typing."

Makoto's voice entered her hearing and she regarded him with a roll of her eyes and a brief smile before turning back to her work. Focus, she told herself. Focus. Don't think about it.

To be honest, she was surprised. It wasn't the way…she had imagined. Tsuna had not shunned her; he had showed her a smile. It was as if nothing had happened. The only thing that had changed was the atmosphere. She felt shyer, she felt more timid than she had before. And he looked at her the same, but there was a sort of light that showed in his eyes.

She wasn't imagining it. She had looked into those eyes many times and not once had she ever seen that light. Not till now.

And then her hand curled into a fist and struck down the table. The other students shot indignant looks at her before going back to what they were doing. Haru could feel the gazes of her friends burning into her back.

"What the heck, Haru?" Makoto demanded. Junko regarded her friend's back with a guarded stare before sighing, shaking her head. Haru, who usually was very easy to read wasn't so easy to analyze this time. Haru was an emotional person; she wore her heart on her sleeve. Junko rolled back her sleeves and shook her head.

That idiot.

No one realized that a full-scale war was commencing in Haru's mind. No one realized that her mind had split in two; no one realized that she was fighting with herself. It was her own war.

Isn't this what you asked for? Didn't you say that you wanted him to smile at you? Aren't you happy? Aren't you glad? You're happy and you know it. He's smiling at you; his eyes are so gentle now, Haru! He might even-

Haru, get a hold of yourself! Why is he smiling? He's never smiled like that before! He never did that before, never showed you that tenderness before. Maybe it's because of Makoto…Maybe because Tsuna knows of your feelings now-Maybe he's started to like you back! And that's unacceptable.

"Unacceptable," she whispered to herself. "So unacceptable." If Tsuna was opening his heart just because he knew that she liked him…

Unforgiveable.

"Tsuna-san," she said with a hint of surprise in her voice. "When'd you get here?" He looked at her curiously and stared for a moment. "I just came now." Haru's eyes bulged. "You mean you were on that train that just came now?" She asked him. He nodded again, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at her. "Really? I did too! But I didn't see you on it," she told him. "But I see you now."

Liar.

Her mind hissed the word at her, her heart recoiled in disgust. Liar, it whispered. And liar she was. She had seen him. She had just pretended to not see him. She recalled doing this before, numerous times. She just really hadn't wanted to talk to him. It just hurt to look at him, it hurt to hear him, it hurt to even think of him.

Haru had always thought of herself as a strong person. She had thought that she could deal with any pain thrown at her and toss it back like it was nothing.

But she really wasn't.

Humans like to think that, Haru thought to herself while digging out her mp3 player. We like to think that we're strong. But we're not. We're just really weak, aren't we? But we try to hide that.

Liar.

The two boarded the train and Haru squirmed at the awkward silence. As soon as the train stopped at the next stop, she immediately got off. But not before she fed Tsuna with the excuse that she had to board another train to go to a different destination.

Liar.

Haru tried skipping a little bit to relieve her tired aching feet. It didn't help. And then her heart skipped a beat and her feet refused to move. Tsuna was at the end of the corridor near a vending machine while Makoto seemed to be enthusiastically egging him on about something. Haru's mind whirled. Why was he here? Why were Tsuna and Makoto on the third floor?

They didn't need to come to the third floor; they had never come here before. Because their lockers were located on the sixth and seventh floors. Haru sighed. Surely…surely they had come here for a reason. But what?

Was she just over thinking it?

No.

Her mind drifted to the most absurd of thoughts and she shook her head fiercely. There's no way that he came for me. No way.

It seemed like it was time to lie again. She grabbed her mp3 player and took it out, jamming the device into her palm while she carefully placed the headphones onto her ears. Looking around to make sure no teachers were around, she strode towards their direction, all the while looking down at the electronic device.

She went by unnoticed.

It hurt.

It hurt. It felt like someone was driving a knife into her heart. Why wouldn't they stop? Why wouldn't he just stop?

Why did he have to act so nice now?

Haru rested her chin on two laced hands, a brooding look on her face. It was so confusing. It was undeniable; that warmth he was showing all of a sudden.

Two weeks had passed since that awkward, embarrassing event.

"I'm not going to like anyone till I turn eighteen or nineteen. I'm not going to date till then."

Haru's head tilted, eyes fixed on the boy sitting next to her. "Why?" She asked, making sure her voice didn't sound too curious.

It was a wasted effort. She always sounded curious around him.

"Because," he said in an obvious tone. "My grades would get worse. And…dating in my opinion is really nothing."

She nodded, beaming when honestly inside she wondered why he had told her this again when she'd already known this two months ago.

Her eyes lit up in delight as she took a picture of the remnants of the drink she'd taken. Carrot juice. It had helped her a lot. The nutrition of the vegetable had flowed into her body. Her eyes felt stronger, they felt refreshed. She whispered a silent thank you to her father who'd taken the time to make it for her.

Without knowing it, her fingers tapped in Tsuna's number before sending the picture to him. Moments later, he replied.

'Haru, what the heck is that?'

A smile.

'Carrot juice. Doesn't it look interesting? :D'

'It looks like throw up. ._.'

'Puh-lease. I'll make it for you, you know xD It'll taste really good~ You should try it one day, you know? :]'

'No, I don't know. It looks disgusting.'

It did look disgusting.

'Your face is disgusting. Just kidding! Ahaha…Gotta go Tsuna-san. Talk to you later!'

When she picked up her phone again, she promptly dropped it in shock. Tsuna-san had texted her back. With more than one word. That was the most he'd ever texted her! He had even added a face emoticon! Sheer happiness.

It was running through her brain, her veins; her cells. Everywhere.

"It'd be nice." She said suddenly.

He looked at her. "What would be nice?" Haru smiled. It was a sincere smile. "Like…Tsuna-san…mmm..Say you could take the whole world's misery away. Say you could take away everyone's sadness and frustration and anger and place it into yourself. The rest of the world would be happy. It'd be only you suffering. Would you do it?"

He sighed. "What got this idea into your head, Haru?" Haru flushed and shrugged. "I don't know…It just came onto my mind like that," she said, snapping her fingers for emphasis. "But answer the question. Would you?"

He snorted and shook his head reproachfully at her. "Stop thinking about things like that, Haru. But I don't think you'd do it."

"Again you're not answering the question," she muttered under her breath. "Well, I would. I'd do it in a heartbeat. The only problem is that I'm too scared to do it."

"Scared? Of what?"

" I'm scared of suffering."

It seemed like everyone had forgotten about the fact that she liked him.

"Hey, Haru. Is it true that you like Tsuna?"

Haru froze. "What do you mean…?" She asked, forcing her voice to sound steady. Inside, her mind was thrown into chaos.

Not this again, please not again. Things are finally turning back to normal-don't ask me, don't ask me, don't ask me!

Daisuke was a close friend of Makoto. He only talked to Haru if he needed help with studying, if he needed to copy her HW…

"Is it true that you like Tsuna? Like…do you like him that way?"

Haru flushed in embarrassment and laughed. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I used to like him. Not anymore." Ah, the lie was slipping out of her mouth much easier now. Daisuke chuckled and strode away. Haru frowned. What had that been about? "DAISUKE, WAIT A MINUTE!"

He halted and looked at her as if to say, what gives? "Sorry to take up your time," she said quickly. "But who told you that I liked Tsuna-san?"

"Makoto did of course. Didn't you know? You know Jasmine, the foreign exchange student in your class, right?" Haru nodded. "She knows too, you know. And so does Aoi and Rika and Yamamoto and Gokudera…Sasagawa too. Both of 'em."

Haru nodded slowly. "Oh, I see. Thanks, Daisuke." He nodded, striding away at a faster pace. Haru closed her eyes and forced her mind to relax with all the might she had. There was no point getting upset about it. After all…

Apparently now she didn't like him anymore.

Frustration ran through every cell of her body.

Why was it always like this? Why couldn't she stop them? Why couldn't they stop? Why couldn't they stop using her? She wasn't a tool-she was human too! It hurt when they ignored her and it hurt when they only talked to her when they needed her for something.

It's always like this, she thought bitterly. Always like this.

Why couldn't she say no to the requests people asked of her? 'Haru, can I have your food?' 'Haru, can I copy your homework?' 'Hey Haru, tell the teacher I was absent today if they ask!'

She was sick of it and yet…she didn't have the nerve or the courage to tell them no. At this rate, she'd be nothing but a machine. A machine that could feel. But a machine that heeded the people that commanded her.

She was angry. She was upset. She was so hurt beyond words.

She tightened her hands into fists, trying to block out the sounds of her teacher screaming at her. I can't hear you, I can't hear you, her mind whispered.

So why could she still hear?

Disgrace. Inexcusable disgrace of a musician. It's so easy…Why can't you do it? Why can't you do it? It's so simple; it's not that hard.

Haru felt like crying. She knew was a miserable excuse of a musician. She couldn't sight read. It was so difficult for her and no one had ever properly taught her. And now she was getting yelled at because of it…

Just quit music! I don't know how you got into a school focused on the arts!

To be honest, Haru didn't really know either. Her school was considered one of the top-notched high schools, except it was well-known for the students' talents in the arts instead of education like the other schools. To quote her principal's words… 'Only the best, talented artists get in.'

Talented? Her? She could just laugh.

Oh no, the tears were coming…She had to think of something…Or else she'd cry in front of her teacher. She refused to cry in front of her piano teacher. That was a sign of weakness. She couldn't. She wouldn't.

So why was everything getting so blurry?

Immediately, a memory came to her. Tsuna-san's face. The first time he'd look at her with warmth. His voice. 'You're crying? At this age? Cheer up already.' The first time his voice sounded so light-hearted. She'd been crying because she had failed her test she had tried so hard for. And with those words, he'd comforted her.

Even now, those words were comforting her…Haru's eyes widened in realization. And then her mind sighed and her heart pounded reproachfully at her.

She liked him that much.

Haru frowned. Her mind was working overtime; the cogs in her head were revolving at a faster pace. What had happened? She sat down with a brooding look on her face. Before, she had joined a club just so she could see Tsuna-san. She'd hoped that she'd see him at the school. But she never had. But over time, she had resolved to go to club for a different reason.

She had wanted to go to club for the sake of hanging with her new friends. Spending time with them, laughing with them, dancing with them…It meant everything to her. And now a line of separation was between them. There were two factions in the group now. One led by Akane, the club leader and best dancer out of all them. The other…Haru pondered at this. Who was the leader? Riki-chan, who'd always been so close to her, had been snatched away by Akane. Haru's lip quivered. She hadn't noticed this.

No, that was a lie.

She knew. She had noticed. She'd seen. But she had just prayed for it to not happen. It all had started with Akane acting coldly to her. And gradually…Haru buried her head in her arms. She was tired. It hurt to think about it.

She wasn't on Akane's faction. That's all she knew.

Why were all her friends getting so far away? Haru's bottom lip worked itself into a pout. Everyone seemed to be so far away…so distant. It was always like this. She'd have tons of friends and over the year, she'd lose most of them.

Her fists balled.

It wasn't fair. She wanted to keep all of her friends. She wanted to keep them close to her. Because she wasn't any good alone.

Darn it, she was really no good when she was all by herself.

Through her tears, she could make out her friends looking at her. The text on her phone blurred until it seemed like all the words were jumbled together.

Why was he texting her? Why, why, why?

He hadn't talked to her for at least a year and a half. Why was he sending a text to her now? Haru bit her lip hard, until it seemed like it was going to bleed.

Stay away. You're creepy, you disgusting thing. I don't need you anymore.

"Um…Haru? Why are you crying?" Makoto asked hesitantly. She laughed bitterly, smiling as she did so. Makoto edged away. He'd never seen her like this before. "Why is he doing this now?" She muttered to herself. "Who is it?" He asked curiously. Wordlessly, Haru held the phone up to his face so he could read the screen. Immediately, Makoto's face creased and her other friends crowded around to read the message. "Who'd say such a thing?" Clatter clatter. Haru looked up and saw Junko striding down the stairs.

"Haru, what's wrong now? Did he do something again?"

Haru flinched when Junko flashed a glare at Tsuna who held up his hands defensively. "I didn't do anything!" He protested. "He really didn't," Haru said quietly. "But Hajime-he…"

Junko's eyes hardened. "I thought you said you weren't going to talk about him anymore…? Or…did something happen?" Haru swallowed and showed her the text. Junko's face grew livid with anger and a torrent of curses flowed from her mouth. "That little-what's he doing, talking to you?"

Haru shrugged, shaking her head in confusion. "I don't know. I-We haven't talked since-" Makoto stepped in between them. "Um…who's Hajime?" Haru froze up and tried to speak, but nothing came out. No words-only those horrible choking sounds. "He's Haru's first boyfriend. Her ex." Junko muttered.

Immediately, Haru's systems shut down. Block it all out, block it out. Junko's lips moved and Haru read them. Do you want me to tell them? Haru shrugged, looking away. "Do whatever you want." She mumbled.

"That son of a-Gah. Anyways, he pretty much used Haru here. And he ended it, that sick kid. After everything he made her do. Honestly, if I could turn back time, I'd make that sure that Haru would be the one to end it. She should've. You should've, Haru." Haru sniffled. Why could she still hear Junko's voice? It was just making her remember everything.

His demands to see her body. His demands for her to do his homework. The way he'd broken up with her over text. The way they never talked while they dated. How hard it'd been for her to get over him.

The images were overflowing now.

Tears dripping in the moonlight, a fetal position…Her hand clasping a bottle of pills. Her being rushed to the emergency room…The way she'd gotten an addiction to ramen and couldn't stop to get over her pain. It still hurt to think about it.

Haru's hand tapped out a rhythm on her thigh. She always did that whenever she was nervous. She had thought that the open wound on her heart would've closed up by now. And it had. She hadn't even thought of the chance that a scar that would've been left behind. Hajime had ended it…So why had he sent her the text? Through her blurry vision, she could see Tsuna looking at her with a blank expression on his face.

"He likes you, did you know that?"

Haru's eyes bulged and she inhaled in the water in the mouth. For a long minute, she choked and coughed; desperately trying to get the water out of her nose. Makoto watched her in amusement as she flailed her arms around. "Say that again?" She asked in a hoarse voice. "Because I think I misheard you." Makoto poked her forehead.

"Didn't you just hear me? Tsuna-he likes you."

From the way Makoto's eyebrows were arched, Haru could tell that he meant to say that Tsuna liked her…that way. Hope beat in Haru's chest and she crushed it down. It'd been only two weeks. There was no way he liked her.

"Don't lie to me anymore," Haru growled. "Don't lie to me anymore. I don't like it." Makoto shook his head, his eyes wide. "No, I'm really serious this time. He likes you." Haru scoffed; something she wasn't used to doing.

Usually it was other people scoffing at her.

"If you lie to me one more time, then I'll shove my pencil case down your throat." She threatened, even holding up her pencil case for emphasis to show how serious she was. Makoto gulped. From the way his face expression was contorting…He was probably remembering the last time she'd gotten angry. Haru sighed when Makoto turned away.

She didn't need false hopes anymore.

Haru brushed a hand through her hair as she leaned against the door. She liked talking to Tsuna-san. She really did. But it hurt too. She had enough.

She had enough. A small bitter smile appeared on her face. "Bye bye." She whispered.

When she saw him, Haru acted the way she always did. And her heart still clenched painfully, but not so much. Not as much. She was sad, but she was also relieved. She was getting over him. She was getting over him.

Junko had patted her head gently when Haru had told her about her decision. "Next time it'll be better," Junko had whispered encouragingly. "It'll be better."

Haru hummed a broken melody as she pulled out her books. That's right, it'll be better…She thought this to herself as she pulled out her textbooks to study. She really couldn't see herself with Tsuna-san. It was a shame that she was pulling away when she'd put in so much effort…

But that was okay. Next time, she'd be wiser. Next time, she wouldn't suffer so much. And as the music flowed out from the speakers, she absent-mindedly traced out a few words onto the cover of her Japanese textbook.

First.

Love.

Regret.

Bitter. Bitter. Herbs are bitter. Well, this is the epilogue! For all you people out there who've dated and gotten hurt and for all you people who've gotten hurt over a crush, know this:

There is someone wonderful waiting for you. And that's really true. I think. I don't know if this epilogue is alright with you guys; but in the story, there a lot of moments from my life weaved into this. I don't know. This is rather angsty, isn't it? I was hoping that this story would've had a sweet, happy ending but in the end, I chose not to. Why?

As much as I love TsunaHaru, as much as I want to always give them fairy tale endings, I wanted to show that not all love stories will end up sweet and happy like sugar. There might be a chance that in the future, a happy ending might not happen for Haru concerning Tsuna. By the way, I'm not sure if this is just me, but Haru's life didn't seem to revolve as much around Tsuna in this one as it did in the last chapter. Has he impacted her life a lot? HECK YEAH. Is he still? I have no idea…Which is strange. Cause I'm the writer. (Insert face palm.) I tried to insert in other aspects of Haru's life that just didn't concern Tsuna. Have you guys noticed it…?

BTW. MOST RECENT KHR CHAPTERS. GO CHROME YEAH. A little 6996 there, no? Part of me wonders what's going to happen next when the rest of the me is screaming for Amano Akira-sama to put in some 2786. If only it'd happen...

Ah, before I forget, the title means Epilogue in Japanese. It's written in Katakana xD Boy am I glad I'm taking Japanese classes at school! I'll be back again…with more stories to share. I hope you'll be looking forward to it~