Something You Need But Can't Have

A Spongebob Drabble

Composed by: Koffeeholic

Cast: Squidward, Spongebob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs…

Setting: Bikini Bottom (Island)

Warning:

Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward are gay now.

Summary:

Valentine's Day is just around the corner and Squidward Tentacles is as lonely as a rotten Krabby Patty. He wants a particular blonde, but can't have him—he's taken. Only a confrontation might ease the pain. Nevertheless, there is always a possibility things happen the way you want.

Koffeeholic's Word:

I turned them into humans and put them on an island. Spongebob is a blonde with blue eyes and freckles. Patrick dyed his hair pink. Squidward—I have no idea how to explain him…

It's almost that special day, the day when you show the person who holds your heart that you care. That day is Valentine's Day and I'm just as lonely and unwanted as a rotten Krabby Patty down in the dumpster. But this mahogany-eyed blue hair's got a need this year—a certain blonde nicknamed Spongebob. Only he's taken by an idiot that doesn't even treat him right. And he is about to begin his lunch shift right about now.

"Hiya Krusty Krab!" he shouted in his playful voice as usual. "Just wanna say how much love is going to be served!"

And he didn't walk through the glass doors of this restaurant alone. His shirtless boyfriend, Patrick, clumsily skipped behind him with his pink hair bouncing to my annoyance. Even his green swim trunks annoy my eyes with those purple flowers.

"Don't you worry, Pat. I'll be back with your lunch in a jiff." The blonde leaned in and kissed Patrick on his cheek, receiving an audible giggle. Boy, I wish that was me.

Then he came my way.

"Hi, Squiddy! Get those arms ready for the lunchtime crowd!"

"Whatever." I could never understand why I couldn't push myself to show him affection, the coworker's kind. But the nickname he gave me does manage to make me laugh on the inside; it's true that I can multitask as if I had extra arms. The nickname "Spongebob" came to mind because the boy loved his hygiene. That makes me dream of him giving me a nice, slow bubble bath. I shudder at a wonderful fantasy like that.

Ruining what was running in my mind, a customer walks up to the cash register boat and rung the bell.

"What now?" I accidentally hiss.

"Looks like someone isn't in the holiday spirit!" the woman yells. "Anyway, I want a triple deluxe Krabby Patty with a side of small kelp fries and a coconut milkshake."

I sigh deeply and write down her order. "That'll be eight fifty." I turn to clip it to the order line for Spongebob. The woman sighed too, pulling out her little coin purse. I can understand how she feels about the price of such a small-looking food item. Mr. Krabs should consider lowering them and raise my salary.

"Here." She places the money in my hand.

I shout through the window, "Spongebob, you've got an order!"

Unexpected, he replies, "I'll get to it, Squiddy! I'm bringing out Patrick's lunch right now!" He threw the door open with his leg and waltzed on over to Patrick's table; a tray of two heart-shaped Krabby Patties, a large box of kelp fries, a smaller box of heart-shaped cod nuggets, and a tall kiwi milkshake that nearly brimmed to the top along with having kiwis peek out, was in his hands.

"Oh, goody, goody, goody!" Patrick chirps, rubbing his hands together.

"That's only practice for V-day! They'll be better by then."

Then Patrick stops Spongebob from returning to the kitchen. "Spongebob, could I have some more fish nuggets and you feed me?" He bats his eyes in hopes of his plea being accepted. "Pretty please?"

"But Patrick, you know I won't have enough money to buy Gary cat food if I make more. And I really have to get back to the grill. I'll make it up to you on Valentine's Day." Spongebob looked so sad. Patrick wasn't capable of holding a job so he could help Spongebob out. Poor guy.

Spongebob disappears into the kitchen and begins on the patties. Shortly after, the bell rings.

"Order up. One triple deluxe Krabby Patty, a small kelp fry, and a coconut shake." He sounded so sad this time. It's about to shatter my stone heart…

:::LOVE—EVOL:::

It was almost closing time. Spongebob was in the restrooms, doing what he did best—cleaning. I'm sitting in the boat, counting the day's earnings. It wasn't much as usual.

Then Mr. Krabs' door swings open. The redhead calls for Spongebob in a demanding voice.

"Yes, sir?"

"Come into me office, boy!"

I felt so sorry for what Spongebob was going to hear. So I could decide to change my feelings faster, I silently hopped from my post and put my ear to the cold metal door. I could hear fragments of conversation.

'Yer spending too much time cooking for Patrick! And yer gay lovin' is scaring away some of me customers! Yer losing me money!'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs! Please don't fire me! I have a pet to take care of!'

'You mean Patrick? Spongebob, me boy, I don't want to break yer heart, but if you want to keep yer job and a decent paycheck, you can't let the pink-haired boy come back into the Krusty Krab or you've gotta cut him loose. Understood?'

'Yes, sir…'

I've heard enough. I make my way back to the clock to end my day. All of a sudden, Spongebob slinks out of the door, almost ghost-like. I didn't realize that he was crying until the light hit him.

"I'm okay, Squiddy. I'll be fine tomorrow," he reassures as if he read my heart.

:::LOVE—EVOL:::

I wake up to the ringing of my alarm clock from the weirdest dream I ever had: Spongebob and Patrick were fighting.

'Patrick! Please don't hurt Gary! He's my friend!'

'And I am your boyfriend! Do as I say!'

'Well, this relationship won't last very much longer! It's either me or that stupid brain and greedy stomach of yours!'

It scared me. Spongebob was defending his strange-colored cat and defending himself. Then, it hit me. Valentine's Day is tomorrow and today is my day off. I hate to make my secret crush work so hard because of me, but it should keep his mind off of Patrick.

I put on my favorite classical music and drift back into my fantasy world. I hope tomorrow brings good to me.

:::LOVE—EVOL:::

Later that day, I woke up from such wonder dreams. Patrick was gone far away from the island and Spongebob was single. I soon discovered it was late. My jacket wasn't hanging over my closet door. I may have left it at the Krusty Krab.

I slip on some jeans and rush out of the house to fetch it, hoping someone would be at the Krusty Krab to open the door.

I'm out of breath running so fast. My face hits the glass doors painfully. Lights were still on and the top of an anchor hat paced back and forth through the kitchen window. The door eases open like magic (much to my embarrassment).

I limp into the kitchen to get to the closet, but as I enter, I horrible sight catches my eyes. Spongebob is under the sink, crying enough tears to wash the freckles from his face. His blue eyes are surrounded by pink puffiness.

"Spongebob, what…what's wrong? What happened?" I kneel to offer some napkins.

"Patrick and I broke up…He tried to hurt Gary…Tomorrow is…is…VALENTINE'S DAY!" he bawls.

'My dream came true?'

"It'll be okay, Spongebob," I say as I help him to his feet. "There are so many other fish in the sea besides him. I'm sure you'll find someone else to love you."

"Gee, Squiddy, thanks. But I thought you hate me."

Well, I guess it's time to tell him how I really feel. I may never get this chance again.

"Spongebob, I never did hate you. I loved you ever since you walked in to get a job; I just had a hard time expressing it. And I need you to be my valentine tomorrow."

Spongebob bats every lash in his eyes. "I'm not the type to get over relationships so quickly, but I do more than that. I'll be your boyfriend. Just promise to take good care of me and Gary."

"Of course I will." I bend over to kiss a patch of freckles on his cheek while I hoist him into my arms. We walk out in the same way, happy and can't wait until tomorrow. The only thing I may regret telling him is how I am allergic to cats.

:::LOVE—EVOL:::

Today is Valentine's Day. Spongebob waltzes through the doors as happy as he could be. Even I'm smiling with a present ready for him.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Squiddy!" he chirps as he leans over the boat to get a smooch from me. I don't care if the restaurant or Mr. Krabs gets disgusted. They can find somewhere else to eat. And he can find another crew.

I kiss back, gripping my present tighter.

"I got you a present, Spongebob." I place it in his hands, earning a wide, white smile.

"A jelly-fishing net covered in hearts! Oh, thank you! I've got something extra special for you!"

I can't wait to find out because I know it has to be good.

"It's a beginners' clarinet lesson!"

And I spoke too soon. But I love him and he's my boyfriend now…

Koffeeholic's Word:

Draggy, but Happy V-Day!

(my present was an atheist...)