There is a mood to be set on the day nationally known for its concept of love and happiness and friendship… The day where roses are handed out and cards splashed with fat, cute hearts are received. Cards are written inside and out with Be Mine? and I Wuv You.

And lovers… Well. Lovers.

They're tied to a four-poster bed with pretty red and pink ribbons and they wear a fat, cute heart-shaped blindfold while their partner feeds them custom-made candy hearts that say I hope U die and Hate U this much.

And they are incredibly, extremely pissed.

"You know I hate sweets."

"My, my, that hurts, Reborn. Then why are you here with me?"

"Touché, cow."

Reborn opens his mouth and another fake, sugary organ is placed on his tongue. He strikes before the giving hand can retreat and bites down hard on a wayward finger.

His lover yelps. "R-Reborn! Hurts… L-let go!"

He, after a moment, does so. "Your blood is much more appetizing than the candy hearts."

"Vampire!"

"Reborn." He opens his mouth diligently. And then he smirks. "What? No more candy hearts?"

"You bit me!"

"I swear I won't do it again."

"My, my, I wonder why I don't believe you..."

"Why not? I'm trustworthy."

"Hah."

"Feed me."

There was a fretful pause. Finally, unsure fingers wandered back to his mouth and a damnably sweet heart landed on his tongue.

"Gah! You said y-you wouldn't b-bite me again!"

He swirls his tongue over the small hurt, the tang of copper and vanilla-scented body wash overriding the chalky candy.

"You know better than to believe me."

"Bastard!"

Reborn can't see it, but he knows that the moment he releases the digit, Lambo retracts it and holds it defensively to his naked chest. He manages to maneuver a leg closer to the bare young adult and rub his thigh against Lambo's hip. "This is boring, cow. Do something else."

"H-hey! We did it your way last Valentines Day –" he feels the thunder guardian shudder against his leg, "– now it's my turn!"

"My way was entertaining." He thinks back to that wonderful day in February. Yes, he had been ordered by Tsuna (and isn't it just the funniest thing that that no good brat became his boss in the end?) to pay for the ensuing damages without assistance and Ryohei had acted as a personal bodyguard for the mentally scarred Lambo for nearly three weeks, but it had been fantastic nonetheless.

"Too bad. We get to do it how I want this year!" Lambo chirps. A hand glides over Reborn's leg, from his hipbone down to his ankle, and a soft kiss lands just above his belly button. "I-I want to do it this way…"

Reborn can practically hear his lover blush.

"If you wanted a romantic so badly, you should have gone on that date with Colonnello."

"… What date?"

"Two years ago, February 12th, 4:32 in the evening."

"… Not like you were paying attention or anything though, right?"

"I wasn't."

"Right. That wasn't a date, he just wanted to go out for dinner."

"And what, you stupid cow, is your definition of a date?"

"… Oh, no. It was a date!"

"Good going. Idiot."

"H-hey! I can just leave you tied to this bed and we won't do anything for Valentines Day!"

"If you walk out of this room, I will find you and there will be a repeat of last year."

Lambo, needless to say, does not leave the bed, much less the room. His hesitant kisses travel upwards instead of going down, questing hands tracing the planes and dips of his torso. Lambo nuzzles the thin happy trail and then moves to nibble on his abs. His tongue traces the slope of his pectorals and discovers the shallow of his collarbone while his hands pinch and twist his nipples uncertainly, a little fearfully, and then with greater confidence as he realizes that he isn't dead and Reborn isn't trying to break free of his bonds.

"No, the virgin act is not a turn on. Please relocate your mouth to my c-"

He smiles because he's getting just what he wants. Lambo's soft, warm lips meld into his and his little tongue darts immediately into his mouth, flattening against his as if he can catch his dirty words and swallow them before they can be spoken.

Reborn bites down on the intruder and molests it amusedly with his tongue.

It's minutes before Lambo can break free. He gasps for air and his young, lithe body is bent over Reborn's, shivering and warm and thighs rubbing wantonly against Reborn's sides.

He is almost positive Lambo has no clue how he ended up in his lap. For that matter, and he will kill anyone who calls him on it, he isn't that sure either. Well, it's obvious he crawled there sometime during his raping his pretty, annoying mouth – but the exact second is just a little beyond his memory.

"What is with you and biting tonight?"

"I'm trying to get rid of the taste of sugar."

"And you kiss me?"

"I could always kiss someone else, if that's the issue here."

"DON'T YOU DARE, YOU – …" Lambo chuckles. "My, my, Reborn, that isn't an answer at all."

Lambo is, after all, a young, attractive, bisexual male. Reborn isn't blind, he isn't deaf, he isn't even mute. The stupid cow has admirers and what better day to stuff one admirer's throat full of chocolate and sweets than on the day of love?

Lambo does taste like cocoa and vanilla and strawberries and grapes and something homemade, Reborn won't deny it. He won't deny that the sugary swirl of disgust is giving him a headache. But he will deny that there is something about Lambo's natural flavor that does it for him, like black coffee except it has more of a spark to it.

Reborn licks his lips. "I'm going to untie myself in three, two, –"

He smirks as warm, damp heat surrounds his cock, a wet muscle dancing around and along the ridge of the head. Lambo hums and one hand fondles his sac, the other on his thigh as he supports his upper body weight.

"Aren't you going to prepare yourself?" he all but purrs. "Prepare yourself for me, cow."

His little lover growls against the foreskin of his dick – and Reborn knows he is in a very precarious situation, insulting the guardian that has been for years vowing to murder him while his most sensitive flesh is between his very white, very sharp set of teeth – but Lambo loves him. And his cock at that. The hand on his testicles disappears, followed quickly by the sound of a cap coming undone near his calf.

Slick sounds of the cow penetrating himself aren't too far behind and Lambo pants and groans around his member as he continues to suck him off.

Reborn flexes his ribbon-bound hands and bucks his hips carefully, thrusting down Lambo's throat. Lambo chokes and swallows and then moans. "Put me inside of you."

He hears Lambo fuck himself harder, breath harder, shake harder. He releases his dick with a ragged gasp, hot air blowing across Reborn's sensitive member. "R-Reborn…"

"Lambo," he rumbles, because he knows the cow loves it when he calls him by his name. "Ride me."

Lambo crawls up his body, pausing with a gasp when his erection rubs against his. Even Reborn has to sigh in pleasure as Lambo grinds down against him.

"Close," Reborn says, "but not close enough. Move forward a little more…."

"So bossy." But he obeys anyway and his cry of pleasure and pain is music to Reborn's ears as tight heat slides down his dick like a fitted glove. "T-tolerate…"

"Don't tolerate," Reborn orders. This is the only time, truthfully the only time, when he enjoys hearing Lambo's voice rise into a scream, wanting him, needing him. "Cry for me, Lambo."

His lover gasps and keens and Reborn hisses as he is suddenly completely swathed in a pulsing, strangling canal.

And Lambo… cries. Sobs. He bows over Reborn's body and touches his forehead to his throat, nails digging into his pectorals and shaking so bad that the bed quivers.

Reborn waits… one second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Four. He swivels his hips carefully and Lambo sighs blissfully against his ear.

"You need riding lessons," Reborn taunts.

"You n-need to s-s-shut up," Lambo retorts. He sits up and moves hesitantly at first, rolling his ass, searching for that certain angle – "G-Gnnnn" – and finds it. His thighs flex, his nails in Reborn's chest grapple, and then he's bouncing on him.

Reborn thrusts up to meet every one of Lambo's down strokes and chuckles darkly as the pleasure builds and builds and builds slowly for him, faster for Lambo, and listens to Lambo breathe, to his heart beat frantically, to the dirty noises of their bodies joining, coming apart, joining, slapping, coming apart.

He knows the exact moment Lambo starts jacking himself off. Not because he takes a hand off his chest, but because the tune of the guardian's cries and moans change. His tempo changes.

Reborn doesn't like that at all. "Oh no you don't." He grabs Lambo by the hips and flips them over, coming out on top. He doesn't give Lambo a moment to adjust, immediately thrusting hard into him, deep, deep, deep like he can reach into his throat, and he throws the guardian's legs over his and goes even deeper.

"R-REBBOOOORRRNNN!"

He licks his lips. "At… your… service!"

It's too much for Lambo to handle, he knows. And he orgasms much sooner than Reborn does, but that's to be expected.

Reborn isn't nearly done with him and the little cow knows it, clawing at Reborn's chest, shoulders, and back as if he'll die if he doesn't have something to hold onto. Which he might. Reborn grabs one of his hands and entwines their fingers.

Lambo is on the verge of his second orgasm when Reborn knows he can climax with him. He takes it, pumping hard into Lambo's body and letting go of his control as Lambo arches against his body, connecting them from hip to shoulder, and screams, eyes blind and face red.

"REBOORN!"

There is a long, long moment of tense stillness, Reborn frozen as he bathes his lover's insides with his seed, the guardian's essence coming between them in long white strands. Slowly, regretfully, their bodies separate with a long, low whine from Lambo and Reborn leers.

"… H-hey… Hey, Reborn…" Lambo croaks drowsily, painfully, nails still embedded in his shoulders. He licks his lips carefully and gulps. "W-when did you… did you… you know…?"

Reborn tosses off the blindfold and lowers himself down into the cradle of his lover's embrace. He rests his head on Lambo's chest. "No, I don't know."

"You were… you know… tied down… now you're not…?"

"I've got skill."

"How long were you… you… fr…"

Beneath Reborn's ear, Lambo's heart has soothed into a lazy, slumbering beat. Obviously, Lambo is no longer among the conscious.

He smirks, because he knows he is just that good, and then brushes a kiss across Lambo's throat. "Happy Valentines Day, cow."

Author's Note: usopp45 wanted an RL Valentines Story, so I delivered! MWA HAH HAH! CHOKE ON MY LOVE! And, oh yeah, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!