Author Rambling: I posted some one-offs/oneshots (that is the word for them, right) and now I thought I'd try my hand at something a bit longer. We'll see how it goes. This is girl/girl, so if you don't like it, I'd advise you turn away. I sometimes like dark fictions, and slightly angst ridden situations. This fiction will be like that. There will be good moments too, I hope, but this fiction won't be completely sappy, and fun loving. Another thing is this isn't purely Rei and Minako. Readers beware of that. I'm not the best with longer fictions yet, so please bear with me. If you'd like, please leave a review. Oh, also, I don't have a beta, so this story is as it comes...

Chapter 1: Rei's PoV

Quiet... It's a damn crime against every bit of nature in existence. It leaves you wondering. Sometimes, you want to scream. Others, you want to cry. Solace, it's only fleeting by the amount of hours in a day, the clock ticks in a week. Hell, sometimes it doesn't make a damn bit of sense. Yeah, you get those lonely teens who never shut up...then you wish for something like this. They sit there and say their little sob stories. We all do. Every single one of us. Strength isn't only powerful. It's also so weak, you could squash it like a bug. At the end of the day, all we live in, is the emotional quiet.

Yeah, bugs fly by windows, refrigerators turn on, ice gets made, heaters click by the hours... Life sounds so fun doesn't it? Some idiots in this world, like myself, are left in solitude at times like this. Moments of such meaninglessness, that we sit and question the world. Sometimes the thoughts are simply based upon ideals. Other times, who we want to become shapes the current mental point into a dream based reality. Save the random animal, or god forsaken planet crap aside, lets face it, humanity is doomed. We know this from day one, as dark as it sounds.

You live so that one day you can die. Well, that's what some say. People have all kinds of crap to spew, don't they?

Screw em' then.

The dripping faucet is starting up again. What a waste of water, someone should fix that. But who? Me?

Nope, sorry, wrong number and try again later please. Now isn't that just the way the world works? So many want to be helpful, a handful of them actually are. It just sucks at the end of the day, nobody can help me. No one can answer my question. Well, I guess it is kind of hard. A few bubble heads I know would tell me it's all mushy stuff. He kisses you, you kiss him. You tell him you love him, and then next thing you know, he's your damned prince, a knight in shining-Damn it!

Oops, broke my clock.
...now I don't even have that any more.
I guess I shouldn't have hit the nightstand so hard.
My hand will be bruised tomorrow...

You know, there was a point in my life, in my younger years, where I honestly felt love would come for me. I have great friends, don't get me wrong. I just felt, well, ya know...like someone was actually going to tell me they loved me. For once I wanted to be the one. I wanted to be pursued. I wanted to be the girl just once, that turned the heads of everyone...and every man gazed in awe. Every girl would be jealous. Just once, that's all I could ever ask. Just one moment of glory for all of my hardships, all of the things I've lost. Just once, I wanted someone who gave half a damn about me.

Was that...never mind. Clearly I am sitting on a bed roses. At that age, I was an idiot. I just had questions, and in a moment of vanity, I wanted those questions answered. Back then, it really was that simple. When the questions changed, I don't really know. It could have been after dying and being reborn. It could be after seeing a future not set within stone. Still, I don't know who sparked the changes, or why. The only thing I recall, rather the only distinct memory I have, are the questions themselves.

Was it so much, so impossible, that I be loved?
Could it be so much a walking travesty that I become happy?
I am pretty, why can't people see how beautiful I am?
Why can't they tell me that I'm cared for?

That, ironically, was the mind of an angst ridden, depressed, teenage version of myself. One who hadn't graduated high school. One who claimed she'd seen all, and thought she knew all. However, even if I live in a world of peace, and at least attempted harmony, there is one question that fails me. One answer, I have never received. It's a rather stupid question, really. No one should be able to answer it, but still...

What is love?

That question will open new doors, and new answers. I know that. A few other things I often ponder, comes from the same root. Love. Will I ever understand it? Will I ever grasp hold of it? I've waited many long years, and everyone else has some measure of happiness. They're all content, more or less...but what about me? Am I missing something? Is there something my soul lacks... something all of the others have? Yes, I'm sure I sound selfish. I know I must. Is it so much to ask, that just once, I'm held, kissed, and told I'm loved?

I know running an entire kingdom isn't easy. We're constantly on the move. Royal meetings aside, we all have so much we live up to. Some of us are bound for duties. Others, held down by the laws of this world. A select few have love, romance, and a sense of self worth tacked onto all of the other jobs performed daily. A few, us unlucky ones, have their tasks by fate. Nothing else...and I, for lack of anything gained, have an understanding of something that no real mortal could possibly understand.

Why?
Simple.

Because of my many years I've come to understand that love, or lack there of, is very different than we think. It's more or less the standard love story, sub par, and written over a billion times over the course of a person's life. In my case, it was girl meets girl. Now you see, some would claim fate had me at the start. That such a thing would guide my life how it saw fit. As if fate was a deity, and not simply a term derived from fairy tales.

They're right, but that isn't the point I'm getting at.

My point is, only some people are made and built for the soul reason of romance. Many of us just sort of, well, lets say stumble across it, like they would tripping over a rock. It either happens, or it doesn't. Either way, the rock will still be there. Don't believe me? Don't worry, I don't believe myself half the time. It was once explained to me, that such a complicated thing as love, was not nearly as predetermined as everyone thought. It was not a set path, never forced into every step. This person likes to say, that love is more of a spirit in and of itself. It will either manifest, and carrying a life built and fed on emotion, or it will stay dormant, unknown for those intended, never felt by those who crave it.

I assume that this person, who considers herself a sort of guru on the subject, has a point. Looking back at my younger years, I call tell you why everyone thinks I'm always depressed. Why I'm told that I could never begin to understand it. All joking aside, I've figured out a few rules, laws within love. They're commandments by choice, so to speak. Rather silly really, but I remember my first real heated kiss, my first real crush. I also remember, my second, and my third. Hell I remember all of them. The realization, however, that comes far later.

At the time I thought I had stumbled upon an angel, however, life as we know it would again kick me in the butt. Not that I hadn't had enough altercations with it already. First my mother dies, my father abandons me, and as if all of that wasn't enough, I get thrust head long into a life of a guardian. A moronic moon princess someone I am told to protect. On top of that, die more than than I should have... gods the list is endless. It sounds like I'm looking for pity now, so I'll stop there.

During all of this, I wonder why the hell I didn't just stay dead. However, all of my demons aside, I've come to the realization that my life wasn't just a crap shoot. Why? Well, I'll get to that in a few moments. Let me tell you about my first real, well, crush...damn it, she's one of my best friends, and alright, she's still a lot more than I let on, but it doesn't really matter.

Her eyes were crystal blue. Her smile shone throughout the world as if a speckle of light glimmered in the darkness of the cold and often dreary world. Many would flock towards her, drawn in naturally by her charismatic smile and simplicity, if not often mistake her words. Indeed, the blond was somewhat of a ditz. She hadn't ever been known to stay her place, but she wasn't exactly a poster child for failed love and crude heartbreak. Yes, one Aino Minako had been gifted a dish best served cold. It wasn't sweet, nor was it bitter. It was just ice, a frozen reality. Nothing more. Nothing less. A girl her age surely built misconceptions about everything. It was easy how quickly she could be bitten by the notorious bug, however just like every simple bite, the venom slowly went away, a scar always left behind. It was small, and barely there, but just like every mark left upon the surface...

The stories told of deeper wounds.

She was young, no doubts there. Not that I wasn't around the same age mind you. I assumed that she had other plans, ones more important than my own. However, it turns out her plans, well, rather duty, were the same as mine. Worse than that, she knew things I didn't, and had access to a past life I had only dreamed about on rare occasions. Why did I fall in love with her, you ask me?

She's love incarnate damn it!
I didn't need a reason.
Rather, I believed I didn't.
I actually didn't understand a thing back then.
Irony, you must love it.
God, how I hate that word.

I'm a Senshi of passion first and foremost. Secondly, I'm a warrior and I'll burn my enemies into a crisp. And thirdly, I'm second ranking leader should something happen to our fellow Senshi in arms, you guessed it, Aino Minako. Gods above, sometimes I wonder why I don't just jump into the scared flame like a crazed lunatic. It would be so much easier. Oh, don't worry, I'll tell you. Just let me make some tea, and we can relax by the fire. Then you'll hear everything. I swear.

…..More later...

Edit as of 3/4/2012: Fixed a few spelling errors I missed.