So, here's the first story in what I'm referring to as my "Road to Babylon" series. Chronologically, it comes after "Cold Comfort." I'm posting all the chapters now so I can mark it as complete and focus on the next set of stories in this series, "Rules of Engagement" and "Convictions," which will further this overall story. Also, I have the horrible habit of writing something at the end that causes me to either redo something towards the beginning, or (as happened with this one several times) rewrite the whole thing.

As always, not only do I welcome any and all feedback, but I don't own any characters. Phooey.

Chapter 1: Correspondence

From: ****

To: ****

Re: Hey There

Ash,

I want you to know that you have nothing to apologize for. I can't imagine how I would have felt had you been dead for two years just to reappear working with Cerberus. I probably would have handled it just about the same as you.

I want to apologize to you. Ever since I woke up in a Cerberus base a short few months ago, I've been doing everything I could to stop the Collectors. I tried to get messages off to you, but I have a feeling either Anderson may not have passed them along to you, or Cerberus intercepted them. The only reason I even got your message is my yeoman, Kelly. I think she knew how important it would be to me, especially after Horizon.

I'm confident we won't have any problems with our messages getting intercepted now, thanks to a program my resident master thief gave me. I guess it makes any tracing or blocking of messages between two designated addresses completely impossible, though I have no clue how it fully works. I'm just a ground pounder, not a technician.

Truthfully, I guess part of me felt I didn't deserve to see you. I'm not comfortable working with Cerberus, even if it is to stop the Collectors. I've won over the crew of the Normandy, but the organization itself still stinks like a wet varren.

We're going through the Omega 4 relay soon to hit the Collectors at their base. I've got a good team, but we have no idea what's waiting for us on the other side.

Before we do this, though, I need to tell you something. You've been in my thoughts from the moment I woke up. I've missed you so much, and I don't want to lose you. Part of me feels like I already have. I know we're two different people than who we were, but I can't help but believe that there's still enough of the two of us that's the same as two years ago.

If we're able to succeed in our mission, I'll get a message off to you as soon as I can. I won't lose you either, Chief.

Be safe.

-Shepard

From: ****

To: ****

Re: Hey There

Omega 4? Shepard, you can't be serious!

I know you, and I know nothing I say will change your mind. But I meant what I said, Skipper, I can't lose you. Because I love you.

There, you made me say it. But you only get to actually hear me say it when you come back to me.

Please come back to me.

-Ash

** Error in sending message, recipient not found. Please check address and try again***

From: ****

To: ****

Miss me?

Ash, we did it! We not only made it through with no casualties, but we were able to destroy the Collectors, and their base! As good as it feels to have survived, though, the horrors of that base are something that is going to stay with me.

Even though we saved the crew… I'm sorry, we arrived too late to save the colonists from Horizon. I wish I was able to do something for them, but there just wasn't enough damn time. The Collectors were processing them to build a reaper. A human reaper. We destroyed it, along with the entire base, but it just doesn't seem like enough.

Also, I need to you to know that we now have nothing to do with Cerberus. Not only did I break away, but the whole crew came with me, even Miranda, the Operative who was with me on Horizon.

I don't really know what to do right now. I'm still a Spectre, but the Alliance hasn't reinstated me. I don't blame them; after all I did show up after two years with a Cerberus ship. I guess I just need a mission to point me in the direction to go.

I'm going to the Citadel to talk to Anderson, maybe he can get me in front of the Council. I doubt it'll do much good, but they at least will want to know about the Collectors. We stopped off at Omega for some emergency repairs until we get to the Citadel. I'm still a Spectre, so they'll still fix my ship. I should be there in about a week. If you're available, I'd like to see you.

Anyways, I need to go. I just got a message that Liara needs some help, so if I'll be stopping on my way to the Citadel. I don't think it'll be too big, but then again, she has been getting chased by the Shadow Broker lately.

Hopefully, I'll see you soon.

-Shepard

P.S. As soon as I opened my terminal, your last message came through. And just in case you didn't get the hint, I love you to.

From: ****

To: ****

Of Course!

Damn you, John! I was a nervous wreck! Next time, you can't just dump something like "I'm going through the Omega 4 relay soon" on someone! I'm going to have to make you pay for that.

But it's going to have to wait. I'm just leaving the Citadel for a month long deployment. I can't tell you where, but I won't be out of contact.

Anyways… I'm glad to hear you finally broke from Cerberus. If it was anyone else, I'd assume the crew wasn't happy, but knowing you, you've probably won their undying loyalty. When we have the time, you'll have to catch me up on everyone. I know Garrus, Tali, and Joker are with you, but I heard rumors of an asari justicar? And a master thief? I have no idea how you do it, Skipper, but you always seem to find a way to bring the more… unique, characters together.

Well, I guess we find ourselves in a… new, place, huh? We both said it… now what do we do? I know I have some leave time saved up, so let me know when you're free. I can't tell you how surreal it is knowing you're alive. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

Anyways, Skipper, I should be going. I have to finish packing for my deployment. I need to stop by Anderson's office before I go, he said he has a surprise for me.

Say "hi" to everyone for me, including Liara. I still feel bad for how I acted towards her when we were on board the original Normandy, especially considering how kind she was after you… well, you know.

I can't wait to see you. It's been too long.

In the mean time, let me know when you're back in the Traverse, maybe we can call each other instead of sending messages back and forth. You know me, instant gratification girl.

Take care, Skipper.

-Ash

Chat Log:

(unknown user): Ash?

AMWILLIAMS: Who is this?

(unknown user): Well, now this could be fun. Do you want to play "guess the mystery person?"

AMWILLIAMS: Not particularly. How about you tell me who you are, or I disconnect?

(unknown user): Is that any way to say hi to your former CO, Chief?

AMWILLIAMS: No way... Skipper?

(unknown user): You guessed it.

AMWILLIAMS: How the hell were you able to setup a chat?

(unknown user): Something we can attribute to my master thief friend. I know you can't really spare the bandwidth, so I won't take up too much of your time, just wanted to see how the deployment's going.

AMWILLIAMS: It's going fine. Oh, do you remember that surprise Anderson said he had for me?

(unknown user): Yeah, what was it?

AMWILLIAMS: A promotion! I'm a Lieutenant Commander now.

(unknown user): Congratulations, Ash! I knew you had a brighter future than you gave yourself credit for.

AMWILLIAMS: You always did believe in me, didn't you, Skipper? That's why you wanted me aboard the Normandy, isn't it? Or did you want to get in my fatigues even that early?

(unknown user): You know, Chief, sarcasm doesn't translate too well over text. Unless you were being serious , because I freely admit the thought had crossed my mind…

AMWILLIAMS: That's a breach of protocol, Shepard.

(unknown user): And if I didn't know that you were smiling when you typed that, I might be offended. Besides, I'm not part of the Alliance anymore, remember?

AMWILLIAMS: Well, from what Anderson and Admiral Hackett told me, now that you're free from Cerberus, they'd do everything to get you reinstated.

(unknown user): Really? I had no idea. I guess I better go talk to Anderson soon, then.

AMWILLIAMS: Yeah, you better. By the way, how did things go with Liara?

(unknown user): Well, I don't want to say too much, but I think it's safe to assume the Shadow Broker won't be causing us any more problems. I will say that it is good to know people.

AMWILLIAMS: Really? Well, this certainly makes the galaxy a little more interesting.

(unknown user):I'd say so. But I should let you go. I just got a message that Admiral Hackett is trying to get through to me.

AMWILLIAMS: Alright, Skipper. Hey…

(unknown user): Yes, Chief?

AMWILLIAMS: I just wanted to say, you know…

(unknown user): I know, Chief. I want you to be happy.

AMWILLIAMS: Jerk. I want you to be happy to.

(chat disconnected)

From: ****

To: ****

(No Subject)

Ash,

I wanted to send this off to you, to let you know my side of what happened. I know the news is all over the extranet by now, but I wanted you to hear it directly from me. I know you trust me, and that I wouldn't just go ahead and destroy a mass relay without thinking of the consequences. I guess I need to tell you everything that happened to help myself make sense of it all. I trust your judgment, Chief, and if you think, after I've explained everything that happened, that I've gone off the deep end, I'll accept it.

It started when I spoke with Admiral Hackett. An old friend of his, Doctor Keson, had been working on a project deep in batarian space, and had been captured. He asked that I go in, alone, and try to rescue her from the prison they were holding her. Knowing that batarians aren't really interested in the welfare of their prisoners, I agreed.

I was able to get her out of there with a minimum of batarian casualties. While there's no love lost between me and them because of Mindoir, I'm still no butcher. While Dr. Kesson and I were in a shuttle going back to her camp, she explained to me that they had been researching reaper artifacts, and found that the reapers were preparing to use the Alpha relay to enter the galaxy, far faster than we had expected. We had two days before they arrived.

Their project was aimed at destroying the Alpha relay by using the asteroid their camp was built on. With two days before the reapers started coming though, that would give us enough time to warn the batarian colonists to evacuate. Whether they listened or not would be another matter, but I insisted they be contacted. We're trying to save lives, after all, not take them.

I asked Keson to show me the proof she had that the Reapers were coming. She took me into a room where a beacon was being stored. But this wasn't a Prothean beacon, this came from the reapers themselves. When I said we had to destroy it, I was attacked. Everyone in the base had been indoctrinated. I did my best to fight them off, but I didn't have a team with me, and they had almost limitless numbers. I went down.

When I woke up in the medbay, it was only a few hours until the reapers appeared. I had to fight through the station personnel to reactivate the asteroid's thrusters. I tried to contact the batarians, God knows I did, but Keson cut the transmission.

Eventually, I just ran out of time. The Normandy was able to come in and get me. While they were on their way, Harbinger contacted me. He confirmed that they were coming through the Alpha relay.

After the relay was destroyed, Hackett came and saw me on the Normandy. Obviously, the Batarians want my blood. Over three hundred thousand lives lost. Hackett told me to be ready to face the music back on Earth for this, since the Alliance is going to have to do something about this.

Ash, I have no idea what's going to happen, but I have to answer for this. I know I'll be portrayed as a lunatic, but between the choice of saving those colonists or allowing the reapers to come through that relay… I had to choose.

I haven't slept since this mission. Part of me tells me that that's a good thing. I guess it proves that I am upset about the whole thing; that I'm not a sociopath, but I can't help but feeling like this is how Saren started. Am I really so different from him anymore? Even I see the parallels between me and Ahab.

I guess ultimately it doesn't matter if I end up getting thrown in prison,or turned over to the hegemony, but I just need to make sure you know that I wouldn't have done what I did if there had been any other way. I've never really cared about what people thought of me, but I couldn't handle if you thought of me as some madman.

Anyways, I guess I've explained as best I could. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me because of this, though I hope that's not the case.

I hope to hear from you soon, hopefully before I get thrown in the brig. Even if it's just to tell me to walk out an airlock, I'd like to hear from you.

Be safe.

-Ash

From: ****

To: ****

RE: (no subject)

Skipper, how the hell could you think that I didn't believe you did everything you could? I know you, and I know you wouldn't have destroyed the relay unless it was the absolute last resort. And I certainly know you wouldn't destroy a populated planet without trying to give them every warning possible.

And don't you dare bring comparisons between yourself and Saren. You're fighting against the reapers, he wanted to enslave everyone for the reapers. And while I'm impressed with your reference to Melville, I refuse to let anyone call me Ishmael. Though Queequeg might not be a bad nickname for Garrus…

John, I can't imagine what you're going through with this weighing on you, but I'm going to tell you that it'll be ok. I wish I could be there for you right now, but again, deployments and duties. Though I will be done in a week, maybe we can meet up at the Citadel? I think we need a face to face reunion now more than ever.

I'm here whenever you need to talk, no matter what.

See you soon.

Personal log entry, id: AMWILLIAMS

I need to be out there, dammit! I've been sitting here at the Citadel for three days. The last mission was a cake walk, just some boring escort job. I need to be in a firefight, that's what I was trained and built for.

I guess I'm just getting anxious. I haven't heard from John since his last email to me after the Alpha Incident, as the news has been calling it. I tried to ask Anderson about it, but he either wouldn't, or couldn't, tell me what was happening to Shepard because of it. I have a terrible feeling he's going to be turned over to the batarians…

No, I won't think like that. I know happy endings aren't realistic, but I think we're owed at least a few days where we can be together. I mean, not counting Horizon (horrible mistake on my part) the last time we even saw each other was when the Normandy was destroyed. It still sounds weird saying it to myself, but I do love him. I want us to be together, but we both know we need to find a way to stop the reapers before we plan a future together, or there won't BE a future.

Wow, future together. I just realized I said that. We're both soldiers, I have to be realistic that any future we have together is going to be difficult. If I want to jump out of my skin this much now, I can't imagine what it would be like if our relationship progresses to… whatever relationships progress to.

Damn, getting paged by Anderson. Well, I guess that's enough for one entry anyways.

(end of entry)

Chat log:

AMWILLIAMS: Hey!

(unknown user): Hey, you figured out how to reach me for a chat?

AMWILLIAMS: Of course. You're not the only one who has "resources."

(unknown user): Good to know, Chief. Sorry I didn't get back to you, it's been a… interesting, few days.

AMWILLIAMS: It's ok, Skipper. I'm glad to see you're evidently feeling better.

(unknown user): I am, thanks to you. I have some news for you, if you're interested.

AMWILLIAMS: As do I, but you go first.

(unknown user): Well, I know you've heard the scuttlebutt about the "Alpha Incident." I was called to Earth to answer for it. Well, to get the whole thing resolved… I was reinstated,then immediately faced censure. Basically, the Alliance is telling the batarian's "he wasn't working for us when he did this, but he's working for us now so we have control over him, now go space yourselves."

AMWILLIAMS: Wow, I didn't think they'd back you up like that.

(unknown user): Neither did I. I guess, from when I've been told, there are people high up the chain of command in the Alliance that believe us about the reapers, and they know I can't help if I'm rotting in some prison, or being publicly executed. So, I'm back to being Commander John Shepard, First Human Specter, and every bounty hunters' wet dream.

AMWILLIAMS: Including mine, but that goes without saying.

(unknown user): It's a good thing this is just a chat, or I'd have to explain why I'm blushing so much.

AMWILLIAMS: Ha, still easy to get a rise out of, I see. Well, Commander, I actually have some news that kind of goes along with that.

(unknown user): Please, inform me.

AMWILLIAMS: You may be the first human Spectre, but you're no longer the only.

(unknown user): You mean… congratulations!

AMWILLIAMS: Thanks! Anderson just told me yesterday. I had to call my family and let them know.

(unknown user): I'm so proud of you, Ash. What are your orders?

AMWILLIAMS: That's the thing, they haven't told me. I know they usually tell a Spectre what their first mission is as soon as they're given the title, but for some reason they wouldn't tell me. They said they weren't ready yet.

(unknown user): That sounds odd… they must have something in mind, though, or else they wouldn't have named you a Spectre. But I have all the faith in the universe in you, Chief. It's a long way from guard duty on Eden Prime, isn't it?

AMWILLIAMS: You could say that again. But it doesn't feel real yet. Trust me, I already upgraded my gear, but I guess I'm actually out there, I still feel like just any other soldier.

(unknown user): Well, you're not just any other soldier.

AMWILLIAMS: Ah, greeting card one-liners again? Don't you think we've progressed beyond that?

(unknown user): You may have your poetry, but all I have is my sappy lines. Besides, part of you loves it.

AMWILLIAMS: I just always think of the luggage line you fed me once on the Normandy. Even you have to admit that one was bad.

(unknown user): I knew it was bad even before I said it. I guess I was just trying to see if I could make you laugh.

AMWILLIAMS: Well, even if I didn't laugh then, I laugh about it now. But I have to go, Anderson said they should have my orders within the hour, and I have a few things to finish before I'm ready.

(unknown user): Alright, Ash. I'll see you soon.

AMWILLIAMS: You better get your ass to the Citadel quick, or else I'll be sent off somewhere before we can see each other.

(unknown user): I guarantee that won't happen.

AMWILLIAMS: Alright, take care, John.

(chat disconnected)

This was kind of an experiment in format. I think, for future stories, I reserve journals, emails, etc to just a portion of a chapter instead of the whole, but I figured this would be an interesting way to get the exposition taken care of. Thoughts?