So this is kind of a birthday present to myself… sorry to everyone expecting Prustria… maybe after I update other stuff hmkay? Warning: this is very 27 Dresses-ish in more ways than one… of course, a very different outcome is in place. ;)

Genderbending everywhere without much of a pattern because of reasons.

Felicia = fem!Italy

Francoise = fem!France

Julchen = fem!Prussia

Felicia straightened her skirt and pulled down the hem just a touch. She didn't want to seem too whore-ish to him… or did she? Julchen did tell her that he was into those kinds of magazines… No, no! It wasn't her. She was sweet, innocent Felicia, and that's who would win him over, and she'd win him over today. She just had to focus.

"Ve, Francoise!" Felicia shuffled over to her closest friend at the office, who was dressed in a white dress shirt, clearly belonging to a man, but she managed to make it look like a fashion statement. A dress from the night before sat in a paper bag that she held loosely. Felicia studied her attire for a moment. "Walk of shame?" she tilted her head like a bird expecting a bit of bread.

"It's not a walk of shame if you've been trying for years to get him drunk enough to take you," Francoise rolled her eyes. "Speaking of pursuing somebody for a long time… today's your day, isn't it?" She gave a catlike grin to the Italian girl.

"Um… no, that's, um, next week…" Felicia looked down, ashamed that she'd already given up.

"Felicia, honey, everybody knows except for him. He's absolutely clueless, and only you can break the spell," Francoise insisted.

"But-" Felicia began to protest that she wasn't ready, but Francoise silenced her.

"Crushes are juvenile, ma Cherie. You have to either let it go or act on it. Now get moving!" Francoise shooed her off with a light tap on the behind.

-x-

Before entering his office, Felicia took a deep breath, practicing the exercises Francoise had taught her so she wouldn't stress out. She fixed her ponytail, straightened her skirt, fussed over her shirt… and she needed the exercises again.

"GO!" Francoise mouthed urgently, making a pushing motion in Felicia's direction.

Felicia sent a dramatic look in return, before finally darting into the office. Tripping over her own heels, she stumbled awkwardly, caught herself on the pull cord on the curtains and let sunlight pour into the office.

Ludwig looked up from his phone conversation. "Oh, thank you, Felicia, I needed that… No, Julchen, I didn't forget who you are. I'm talking to somebody else… do you need something to do? …Julchen, I'm not talking to you! Roderich can solve your toothpaste problem! I'll call you back!" Frustratedly, he jabbed the phone back into place, then looked up at Felicia expectantly.

"Oh- um- I was just wondering what I'm supposed to be doing…" She could afford to get some work done before breaking her feelings to him, right? It was too early for romance, anyway.

"You're supposed to be sitting at your desk taking calls," Ludwig answered as if it were obvious. "This isn't any different than any other day. Is something wrong?" he noted the pale flush over Felicia's face.

"N-nothing, just maybe a mild fever coming on, o-or something…" She touched her toes together in a self-conscious posture.

Ludwig stood up from his seat and walked over to Felicia to place the back of his hand over her forehead. "You're fine," he announced. "Drink some water and you'll be set."

"Right… grazie!" Felicia nodded and wobbled unsteadily out of the office. Of course, Francoise was there to greet her.

"That didn't sound like kissing in there." She gave a disappointed frown.

"Shh! He might hear you!" Felicia frantically tried to quiet her friend.

"Perhaps it's better that he hears," Francoise countered.

"I promise, by the end of this day, I will say something! It's just that… that time wasn't right!" Felicia insisted.

Francoise rolled her eyes. "Of course. And then the next time won't be right. And the next one. And before you know it, the day will be over, and you'll be exactly where you started."

Felicia slumped over helplessly. "What if he doesn't even feel the same way?"

"Ma Cherie, you are adorably sexy, talented in the arts, sweet as honey… and you play accordion better than anyone I know! I'd be more concerned that he doesn't think he's worth it," Francoise placed a hand affectionately on Felicia's shoulder. "Just be yourself, and it will all fall into place."

"But… myself isn't brave enough…" She looked up desperately.

"It will all fall into place," Francoise repeated. "I promise." With that, she stood up, placed a kiss on Felicia's forehead, and sauntered off to her work station.

Confused but somewhat encouraged, Felicia sat herself at her desk to prepare for the day. Just as she was finishing, the phone rang. Glad for something to do, she picked it up eagerly.

"Ciao, this is Beilschmidt and Sons! How may I help you?" she answered cheerily.

"How long has it been since Luddy hung up on me? Five minutes? Is that long enough to call back?" It was Julchen. Because of the amount of times Ludwig's sister called in, it was easy for Felicia to recognize her voice.

"Oh, hi, Julchen. I don't think Ludwig wants to be bothered… he seemed sort of angry…"

"He's always angry, the total un-awesome downer. What's the difference?"

"Didn't he ask you to call Roderich?"

"Yeah, he's here now but he says he has no idea how the hell I got myself into this or how the hell he's going to get me out."

Through the phone, Felicia could faintly hear Roderich complaining. "I didn't phrase it like that!"

"God, Roddy, I'm having a phone conversation. Have some class!" Julchen returned before addressing Felicia again. "Also, Roderich broke a fancy vase thing. How attached do you think Ludwig would be to it?"

"I didn't break it! I believe that was you, tromping around with your dinosaur footsteps!"

"Um… Ludwig isn't very materialistic, I don't think… you know him better than I do…" Felicia twirled her finger in the phone cord, trying to piece together the situation at the Beilschmidt home. With little information, it wasn't easy.

"Oh, but you'd like to know him better, wouldn't you?" Julchen recalled tauntingly. "Today's your day, isn't it? Put him in a good mood for me, kesesese."

"Who told you?" Felicia blushed, trying to hide behind her computer screen. Ludwig's sister knowing about her affections was nothing new, but the fact that she'd heard about her plans was still a bit disconcerting.

"Duh, Francoise and I are like best friends," Julchen gave a snort of derision. "Seriously Felicia, he might be numbers-smart, but when it comes to people, he's dumb as bricks. You need to help him out. You can do this, I promise."

"I-I've never done this before, though… the boys usually ask me first…" Felicia fussed.

"Oh, please. The only person I know that's probably dumber than Ludwig when it comes to people is Roderich, and I managed to nab him."

"Once!" Roderich insisted. "And I was drunk! It wasn't a fair shot!"

Julchen's voice dropped to a whisper. "I'll get him in bed today without alcohol just to prove to you how easy it is." She resumed her normal, slightly-too-loud tone of voice. "Man up, Felicia! You better sex up Luddy today or I'll kick your brother's ass!" It wasn't easy to threaten Felicia, but Lovino was a good enough substitute.

"But-" Felicia began to protest.

Click.

She leaned back in her chair with a groan. Today would be harder than any day she spent working…

-x-

"You've hardly spoken to him today," Francoise pointed out.

"It's… a high pressure situation," Felicia insisted, deliberately busying herself with eating her gelato.

"What makes him so much more different than any other boy you've flirted with?" Francoise leaned over her friend's desk.

"That's the thing… he's not a boy, he's a man. He's smart and successful and I'm… not," she stared down into her cup dejectedly.

"Pull yourself together!" Francoise rapped Felicia on her head with a rolled up magazine.

"Ow!" she instinctively reached up to protect her skull. "I'm pulling! I'm pulling!"

"Good! Now you're going to go in there right now and do something!" Francoise, very exasperated at this point, grabbed Felicia's wrist and yanked her into a standing position.

"N-now? But why now?" Felicia stammered as she was shoved into the office, teetering uneasily on her stilettos. She caught herself on the door handle and closed it behind her. Ludwig looked up, hearing the distinctive click.

"Felicia," he greeted mildly.

"That's me!" she returned. "You're probably wondering why I'm here, so- um-" She strained to find the words, but they failed her again. "Julchen called, and says she's doing all right." As soon as she let another excuse slip, she cursed herself for being so flimsy.

"Ah." If Felicia didn't know any better, she would have thought that he almost sounded disappointed. "Thank you." He gave a dismissive nod, and Felicia turned around to hurry out of the office. "Good luck, by the way," he called after her.

"Huh?" Felicia spun on her heels to face him again.

"People keep saying something about today being your day. Do you have an audition or an art thing…?" he prompted.

"Oh, uh- yes! I'm just not sure if the, ah, director will like me," she wrung her hands nervously.

"You'll be fine. What's not to like?" Ludwig resumed writing, telling Felicia that he had work to do, and it was time for her to leave.

"Thank you…" she said quietly, skittering off, only to run straight into a pair of boobs.

"It's breaking my heart how tragically impossible your love is!" Francoise sobbed, pulling Felicia into her chest.

"Fran- Francoise!" Felicia gasped for air until the woman finally released her.

"You're making me cry, Cherie! You don't want your dear friend Francoise crying, do you?" she wiped her tears away dramatically.

"No! I'm sorry!" Felicia, feeling guilty, wrapped her arms around Francoise's neck, sniveling pathetically into her shoulder.

"There, there, sugar…" Francoise rubbed soothing circles on Felicia's back.

"Is there anything I can do?" Felicia begged.

"Just one… for me please, sweetheart, just go clean yourself up and do what you came here to do today." Francoise kissed each of her tear-streaked cheeks and spun her around towards the bathroom.

Felicia fluttered away, immediately rushing to the girls' room to wash up. After a quick touch-up, she returned to her desk to calm herself down. Waiting there was a message on her answering machine. Curious, she pressed 'play'.

"Hey Feli, it's Julchen, just letting you know I kept my promise. It was even awesome-er than I expected. He's sleeping like a little baby right now, kese! PS, how effective is birth control? At least 99%? I think I took mine… hm. Catch you later, girlie!"

Felicia puffed up her cheeks like a chipmunk and blew out the air determinedly. This time. This would be it! Nothing- absolutely nothing- would stop her! Oh, the screensaver was so mesmerizing… Focusing! She stood up, tightened her ponytail and marched over to Ludwig's office. With one last deep breath, she stepped in and locked the door behind her.

"Felicia, what are you-" Ludwig began, but trailed off as Felicia approached him with the poise of a runway model. She descended on him, taking hold of his tie and straddling him. The dusting of a blush across her face completed the image of his fantasies.

"Don't say anything… I'm scared enough as it is…" Felicia mumbled, touching her forehead to his. Tentatively, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her lips to his.

Despite Felicia's wishes, Ludwig spoke. "This is better than I imagined…"

"You… imagined this?" she echoed in disbelief. A redness she never expected to see told it all. Reluctantly, he nodded. It was all she needed to reconnect, weaving her fingers into his hair.

-x-

"They're making love!" Francoise squealed happily, her ear pressed to the office door.

"Yeah, Luddy!" Julchen cheered, laughing her odd chuckle. Roderich, towed there by Julchen, was clearly unhappy with his position. He grumbled a sarcastic 'congratulations', rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Should we, like, pop a bottle of champagne or something?" Alfred wanted to know.

"That's the worst idea I've ever heard. You'll get us all fired," Arthur spat back.

"Mon lapin, there is no need to be so negative," Francoise chided.

"I'm not your rabbit! I don't belong to anyone, and I'm a lion at the very least!"

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