Folie à Deux
By Sychron

Rating: T
Pairings: None. Kinda.
Death Note: Do not own.

"Lawliet," Doctor Light Yagami said firmly, "There is no Mu. There is no Death Note. You're in a hospital – a mental hospital."

Heaven, hell, paradise, purgatory – wherever humans went when they died, was simply a small, suffocating room with a single bed and desk.

L knew it, because he was dead, and he was there on the bed; left to die again beneath white blankets.

But he wanted to be out; to be alive. To be anything other than trapped between four blank walls that threatened to asphyxiate him any second. This second.

He was L, the world's greatest detective – and he truly did not like Death.

This was something he'd wish on someone like Kira, but even he knew that Death Note users went to Mu. And Mu, the nothingness, had to be better than a small, suffocating room with single bed and desk – whatever the hell this was.

To think 'The Greatest detective' in the World would suffer this fate when mass murderers like Kira get nothing.

He startled when one of the walls moved – no, it was a door. The door opened, and Kira walked in. Kira, covered with a very peculiar lab coat, but with his usual pristine, ironed shirt.

"Kira…" hissed L, scrambling back, clutching his blanket tightly around him.

"Doctor Light Yagami," said Kira. Kira sighed, as if this was the thousandth time he had to repeat the same phrase, in the same tone, to the same person. "I am Doctor Yagami, as I've been telling you every day for the past four years. I am still Doctor Light Yagami. And before you start again, Lawliet, you are not L, the world's greatest detective, and you are not dead."

"You …really hate me, don't you, Kira?" L snarled, a vicious twist of lip he hoped would convey exactly how mutual the hate was. "You killed me when you were my only friend. And you're still standing here, lying. Shouldn't you be in Mu? Why are you here? And now, you're going to lie again, right?"

"In Mu for using the 'Death Note' to kill thousands of people?" questioned Light.

"That's what the Death Note said."

"Lawliet," Doctor Light Yagami said firmly. "There is no Mu. There is no Death Note. You're in a hospital – a mental hospital."

It was times like these when Doctor Light Yagami felt the strings of anguish beat through his veins. L Lawliet was clearly brilliant – his vivid imagination could have made him one of the greatest inventors, authors, playwrights, or directors alive. Instead, he fell victim to his inane intelligence; trapping himself in an imaginary world with an imaginary murderer that killed using a notebook. And somehow, he, Light Yagami, ended up as the mass murderer in Lawliet's imaginary world.

Light Yagami strongly preferred his job as L Lawliet's primary care physician to detective L's megalomaniac murderer.

When Lawliet didn't speak, Light tried again, "Look, I – we, we've tried everything. Everything. If we can't get you out of this fantasy world, there's only one option left. We have to remove it by force."

L Lawliet gave Light Yagami a cold glare.

"Get out, Kira."

"I don't know what to do!" said Light. Exasperation overlapped exhaustion until Light felt that there should be another word for how he felt.

"I don't either," agreed Soichiro Yagami. Chief of Staff in the hospital, and Light Yagami's father, Soichiro Yagami looked over the patient's folder one more time.

"He thinks he's the 'Greatest Detective in the World', and that I'm a murderer that can kill with a notebook. Of course, he's got to catch me for Justice," Light repeated the case, just for the hell of it. Light paused for a moment before he continued, "And he thinks I'm from that world of his. That's why he's rejecting my presence so much. Nothing I say convinces him that I'm not Kira, the imaginary friend that betrayed him. And, as if to show how delusional it all is, he even thinks he can live on a 24/7 sugar diet in that world of his."

"It makes sense to create a scenario where he's allowed to despise, hate, and avoid you," Soichiro said. "He doesn't like you, or what you say in reality. So he created a fantasy where you've lie to him many, many times before killing him. Therefore, he doesn't have to believe you. I guess his sugar addiction came from the bitterness he finds in reality."

"L Lawliet is frighteningly clever. I don't doubt he can be a great detective. He can be anything, if he wasn't so trapped in his world," Light said regretfully.

"But he is. The boy thinks he's dead."

"He's not!" shouted Light. It wasn't like Light to lose his composure, but this time was not the first, and he knew won't be last. His self-control lashed at Lawliet. "He's not dead, but he doesn't stop trying to be dead!"

L Lawliet, the once brilliant valedictorian of Tokyo University, had fallen to this. Unable to free himself of his depression, he made 16 suicide attempts before the hospital fully restrained him. Then, two months after, he trapped himself in a reality with killer notebooks, Death Gods, and detectives.

Now, he convinced himself that he was dead and another death would bring him out.

Since hospitalization, L Lawliet had made over 124 suicide attempts over the four years. To add to the trouble, the staff had to force-feed L Lawliet anything that wasn't high quality confectionery.

"Doctor Light Yagami," his father finally said, when Light took a deep breath and calmed down. "If you can't convince him soon…we really have to take action."

Action, to extract the brilliance and imaginary world of L Lawliet.

Lobotomy.

Light left the room in silence-he stopped to slam the door.

When he visited his patient again, half an hour before midnight, Lawliet had calmed. L's disease happened in bursts, Light noticed. When he forgot about the part where he died, he was clever, pleasant, and polite. Yet, L Lawliet could never stop being Detective L Lawliet.

"L," Light said, standing near the patient, the folder heavy in his arms. He hoped, for the last time, that living in the fantasy with L Lawliet would allow Light to extract it.

"Light-kun, how are you this evening?" L greeted, patting the area near his lap.

Light took a seat.

"I'm fine. Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" Light asked.

Apparently, he was not Kira tonight. Light briefly wondered who he was to the patient now.

Light Yagami, when his memory was wiped?

Light Yagami, the brilliant, pre-Death Note boy?

Doctor Light Yagami, patient L Lawliet's primary care physician?

Light hoped that Lawliet could see the last one, the boy seemed keen on avoiding the truth.

"No, I just want Light-kun to stay with me," said L quietly, his black eyes soft but alert. L took Light's hand gently into his own. "Light-kun is always my friend, my only and first friend."

Light's heart lurched uncomfortably in his chest. It was times like these…

"What if I am Kira?"

Please, please, please. Forget your fantasies, Lawliet.

"If Light-kun is Kira, I must bring him to justice, but Light-kun will still be my friend," replied L promptly.

Unable to respond – do anything, Doctor Light Yagami simply pulled L Lawliet close and hugged him.

"You'll…always be my friend too," whispered Light.

This time, Doctor Light Yagami wished he was Kira.

For, if he was Kira, there was no way he couldn't manipulate a way out of this.

Folie à deux: Misleading title, maybe. Folie à deux, in all medical reality, is a "shared psychotic disorder" where two individuals are trapped in an alternative, false, and shared reality.

Lobotomy: Scary medical procedure where they severe part of your brain. Mostly renders the patient zombie-like if done correctly. Gives the patient a one-way ticket underground if done incorrectly. Thankfully, it's illegal in reality now.

For now this is a one-shot.
But, if enough people like the idea, I'll see what I can do to make this even more messed up.
Maybe it can be a real Folie à deux party.
If I do continue, I will most likely take it into a new level of confusion, and not a happily ever after.

So, review, and tell me what you think, please. (:

Edit: There will be an update: This will no longer be a one-shot as originally planned.