Disclaimer - I own none of the characters or settings used here. This work is fictional. This is a non-profit fan work.

A/N: This one is a challenge fic from Thrythlind. "The children of X and Y raised by Z, crossover". My X and Y are Malice and Z is Ranma. Im bouncing Ranma ideas off Thrythlind and theoretically Touhou ideas off GaleBread, although he hasnt got back to me yet.

"Hey 'Kane, I'm heading out … um … wanna come?" Ranma's call was boisterous, but rapidly became uncertain as his offer approached. He knew, both instinctively and from hard experience that their current problem wouldn't be solved until one of them worked up the nerve to put the other on the spot. He also knew quite well that their fathers would make matters worse in some way once they realised he and Akane's tense interaction had nothing to do with their relationship going unusually well or a prospective cure. Actually he suspected they would be on hand making things worse whenever they got bored at least until Akane was pregnant.

"To look for …? Um … no … I think I should stay here and help Kasumi today. Um … Tell me if you find anything?" If anything Akane was more nervous about their current disagreement than Ranma was.

Ranma nodded stiffly as he left, but Akane had looked away so she wouldn't have to see the tension between them. Once out on the street Ranma let loose a sigh, in the battle against Safron they had killed and died for one another, but a year later she couldn't decide if they should live together when they left for collage. Ranma found he didn't mind either way, if she would take him it would be a great comfort to share a room with her, both from a rent perspective and because it would be sharing with … well … her, the woman he killed for. But if she couldn't stand the idea of living together yet and preferred they lived apart then he understood, after all he had a bit of trauma from their parents to work out too.

But her indecision meant that he would be wasting another day in long boring inspections of inner city apartments because everything he saw today would likely be taken by the time he found out for sure whether he should be looking for a place that would fit them both or a place he could afford alone.

Ugh, collage. That was one more headache, not because he didn't want to go, or because he couldn't decide. In fact his enrolment was already finalised. He would start full time when the new school year came around and he was actually looking forward to it. He was accepted into a genuine masters degree in education. Knowing he was that good was a private relief and pride for Ranma, since the law would not allow him to set up a formal dojo without at least a coaching qualification and he wouldn't allow himself to be merely the bare minimum in anything.

A chance comment from Kasumi had pulled his mother right onto his side in this case, and even now she gushed about her manly son already achieving something his father could not. His father and Happosai, as well as Akane's father when he could be dragooned into the argument, were the true source of pain here, each insisting that a mere degree from a 'civilian' authority meant nothing but a waste of his time and that he would be ready to teach the art whenever a true master granted him the authority (each had different ideas as to who had the right to be granting that permission of course) as well as a slew of more petty excuses to keep the pair under the Tendo roof and under their watchful eyes.

Ranma couldn't help but smile at his next thought though. Akane was enrolled in a drama degree at the same campus, so it's not like they would be far from one another. Maybe they could get single apartments to allow for alone time given they would be in the same place all day too. Or perhaps he could take on some more work and afford an apartment large enough for two if she decided to live together and just live there alone if she would prefer to be apart at times.

Significantly cheered Ranma set out to get some rental inspections in before he had to head to work that afternoon.

Ranma bowed with no small respect to master Misono, there was a lot of gratitude in there as well. It was fair to say all of Ranma's plans to escape the Tendo house relied on the old master. The pay wasn't extraordinary, 'Ranko' was heading out to the waitressing job he needed to make ends meet right after the last lesson, but the fathers didn't need to know that. Master Misono was a very rare find, a master martial artist who Happosai couldn't help but acknowledge, without being an ancient pervert like the old troll himself. With that they couldn't just pull him back claiming it is unfitting for him to teach at some lesser dojo, and teaching Misono ryu, at the grand master's request no less, rather than musabetsu kakutou silenced any protest they made about him not being an official master.

They had no true right to stop him anyway. Master Misono's patronage simply insured they wouldn't ignore that fact and make an attempt anyway. But Misono ryu, like musabetsu kakutou, was a martial art, not one of the martial sports that was currently popular, and the dojo saw nearly as few students as the Tendo's. So more often than not Ranma took his wages in free lessons and the protection offered from the fathers. Dumping the last of his water bottle over his head rather than drink it, Ranma walked out of the back alley he had ducked through as a shortcut as a young woman with a figure that was even harder to believe was Japanese than her bright red hair.

Ranko worked at a bar in the arcade opposite a train station, and it was her ability to work both waitress and bouncer jobs at the same time (admittedly for only three quarters the pay of each) that allowed the martial artist the sort of funding he needed to move out and attend a collage in another district.

As far as the other waitstaff and barman were concerned 'Ranko' was a junior master at a local dojo, free of charge as a favour to a family friend. None of them knew which dojo of course, he couldn't risk them turning up and seeing him rather than her, but none of the other staff doubted her qualifications after she mopped the floor with an armed robber the day before she was offered the job. The fact that she was also drop dead gorgeous and could apparently still outfight a dozen men while waiting tables was just icing on the cake.

"Yo Hide, whats up? Sorry I'm late, the dan level class ran overtime tonight,"

The barman looked up from the table he was polishing for the barest moment to cock a disbelieving eyebrow, "Riiight, I can tell by the way you aren't the slightest bit winded and your hair isn't even messed up,"

"Perks of being the master, all I have to do is say 'Some of you have been letting your personal training slip, so tonight we review the basics', it's the students who have to do the sweating and mussed hair thing,"

"Whatever," this time Hide didn't even look up, "'Late' or not, you're still here half an hour before the rest of the waitstaff,"

"Yeah well as a bouncer I am supposed to be on site as soon as you unlock the front door, whether you hang the open sign or not," Ranma was halfway through the bar now, on her way to the employee lockers and the shower therein.

Hide wouldn't let her bouncer comment pass however, having been off roster the night Ranma's prowess was demonstrated he still doubted that such a small girl could be effective security staff, "Just go shower so you don't stink up the place and make sure you don't distract the kitchen staff while you loiter about waiting for the other waitresses to show,"

As she dismissed his comment out of hand and kept wandering however Hide's head snapped up, "Actually, once you're clean, why don't you go grab the creepy twins out of the kitchen and keep them out of the way too?"

That stopped Ranma short and she actually turned back to ask, "Creepy twins?"

"Pair of girls Tooru found and is trying to feed. He claims they were in the store already when he opened up for the day, but it's pretty obvious he just found some homeless kids and wasn't heartless enough to turn them down. I figure he'll have gotten some food into them by then and you can sneak them off without triggering his soft heart again,"

"Huh, okay," Ranma just waved and headed for the shower, privately thinking that he probably wouldn't have the heart to throw a pair of kids onto the street either.

Entering the kitchen, a freshly washed Ranma exchanged pleasant waves with her coworkers, before glancing at a small table in the corner, out of the way of the staff preparing for another night catering for the usual mix of informal business dinners, drinking snacks and late night grilled food the bar offered. A pair of tiny girls were seated there, slumped slightly listlessly. They were truly tiny, they probably wouldn't stand even to waist height on someone as short as Ranma's female form. Despite their lack of interest in the variety of tapas and more traditional Japanese drinking snacks spread before them, and their fairly healthy faces and builds, they gave the impression of being starved to near death somehow.

The girls were perhaps eight or ten, clearly twins, they were identical as far as Ranma could tell, the only readily apparent difference was their clothing. While both wore their hair in the same style, a long fall to their mid-back held out of their eyes by a red ribbon, the closer one wore her ribbon in a wide bow at the back of her head while the one on the other side of the table wore hers atop her head, giving a bunny eared impression. Their dresses were identical in cut, frilled monstrosities in the popular gothic lolita style, the closer with blue trimmed in white frills and red ribbons and the bunny eared one in red with white frills and blue ribbons at her wrists and throat.

"Hey Tooru, whats the story?" Ranma gestured to the slumped twins.

"Aah! Ranko!" Tooru's eyes lit up when Ranma came in, as always. Tooru, the head chef, was actually the son of the bar's owners and pulled double duty as manager while they dealt with other businesses they owned deeper into Tokyo proper. Ranma privately suspected this was at least in part a test for the soft hearted young man. He also suspected the chef was deeply smitten with his female form, but as long as it didn't interfere with work and he stayed … non-Kuno … about it Ranma needed the jobs too much to really complain, "They teleported in when I was opening the shop. They seem really hungry but I cant get them to eat, so I think they need some magic food,"

Tooru was also born and raised in Juuban district, which meant he thought of things most people considered 'strange' as merely 'uncommon'. Frustratingly upon hearing Ranko came from Nerima he naturally assumed she was of similar position and he didn't hesitate to announce such theories to her. Even when people he was usually too shy to mention them to were openly listening.

Having avoided even a little bit of the Nerima martial arts weirdness in her workplace so far Ranma just smiled indulgently and played dumb, "Sure thing Tooru, lets get them some magic food then …"

With a faintly humorous smile for the benefit of her other coworkers, that she didn't really feel in the face of her slightly worried apprehension that this could at last be the infiltration of her new life by her old one, she grabbed a spare seat and spun it over to sit with the two girls.

Or at least she tried to. As she passed into arms reach of the pair she felt it. A huge drain, like Ninomiya sensei on a bad day, but the energy being ripped from her wasn't ki. It felt a little like the ghoul's splitting cat's hairs technique and whatever she used to animate that ice statue to attack during the phoenix pill race. It also felt a LOT like her curse activating. A moment of panic filled her as she fell sideways off the chair and the world went black.

Ranma's first panicked thought on waking was that everyone must have seen her transform and now she was going to have to look for a new job, or at least get badly beaten for using the female change rooms. When a blind grope of her own chest revealed that she was still a she, thoughts moving faster than they normally could ever achieve outside of a duel or Neriman 'incident' insisted she had felt her curse activate and the fact she was still a she meant she must be locked again.

Fortunately panic was leaving her now and she was able to avoid dashing off to use the employee showers to test that. Whether she was locked or not, running off to check right now would just make things more suspicious, so she would wait until her shift was over to discover her fate.

Sufficiently calmed Ranma checked her surroundings and was surprised to find that she must have been out at least an hour, judging by the sounds from the bar and the fact that the kitchen staff were only glancing over to check on her between rushed duties, rather than all gathered round like they would be if she had woken up after just a few minutes. With a start Ranma realised there was a weight on her lap, that she had apparently been sleeping seated on the sofa kitchen staff used on their breaks rather than the chair she had been sitting on when she fainted. The weight on her lap turned out to be a pair of little girls and she found herself stroking their hair before she remembered just why she had passed out and why she should be wary of them.

"Ahh you're up," His tasks finally at a point where he could take a few minutes off to check up on her, Tooru came to sit opposite her in an arm chair, "So … what's really going on?"

That took Ranma somewhat aback, "What? I'm the one who just spent, apparently a few hours, unconscious. I was kinda hoping you could tell me what's up,"

Tooru looked at Ranma speculatively, "You know you cant hide your magic from me forever. I know you aren't just another normal person. I can see it, like when you said you were going to give them some magic food I saw the energy leap out of you and into them. After you passed out they started calling you mama and they ate the food we gave them like normal kids. Now everyone else, even the other people who saw you feed them, thinks they're really your kids and they're just here because you're having a tough week and you cant get someone to take care of them while you work today, even though there is clearly no way you're old enough to be their mother. They think you passed out from all the extra work you've had today having to keep an eye on them at both of your jobs,"

"Mama?" the girl in red stirred gently, rubbing against Ranma's caressing hand before trying sleepily to sit up.

Unthinking Ranma just smiled down at her and gave her hair one last tousle, "Shh Hourai, go back to sleep, it's been a big day," even as Ranma froze in terror at the realisation he should definitely not have known that name, the girl, Hourai, nodded absently and pulled the hand off her head before curling up, back in Ranma's lap, with the hand now clutched to her chest in both of her own tiny hands.

Tooru's triumphant grin said everything about his own thoughts on the situation, she couldn't deny being a witch now and she may as well give in and tell him all about the magic that had always fascinated him. What actually came in reply was a dull thud as a rolled up newspaper slammed into the back of his head.

"Just make sure she's ok to travel and tell her she's to go home for the night," Kanade, the one assistant chef who simply wouldn't tolerate Tooru's unprofessional behaviour, looks out from behind his cringing form, "If you're well enough to work tomorrow feel free to bring them in and let us watch over them in here while you take your shift, they've been perfect angels tonight. But if your workload is that bad you should definitely take time off to arrange someone else to watch over them after school until your shift is over. We all understand it can sometimes be a bit much … well except Tooru obviously,"

As she made to smack him once more and he scrambled away, Ranma found herself smiling gratefully, "I think I will have a quick shower and do that Kana'. You guys will be ok without me for the night?"

"Che," the feisty older girl smirked even as she pretended to be disgusted, "Even if they aren't as good at it as you we do still have bouncers you know, get going,"

With disturbing familiarity for a motion she had never made before, Ranma shifted the girls so that she had one sitting on each hip, with their heads resting on her shoulders and made quiet soothing sounds. Even as she smiled gratefully and made her way to the change rooms her mind moved a million miles a minute trying to grasp the direction of the latest insanity to enter her life.

The girls stirred awake again when she set them down on the bench in the change room, but were content to sit quietly while their mama had her shower and changed to take them home. Ranma was, by now, quite comfortable with taking a cold shower in the women's change room with other girls present, but the urge to let a little hot water flow and find out whether she was locked was strong and at war with the awkwardness of the thought of two little girls who called her 'mama' seeing her turn into a man.

In the end she gave in and splashed her face with a handful of hot water from the sink. He was pleasantly surprised over all to find himself male, despite the strange feeling of suddenly being male in his frilly waitressing uniform. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, the girls gave him only the faintest interested glance before going back to whatever quiet game they were playing while they tried to stay awake while he had his shower.

A quick splash of cold turned him back into her before she slipped out of her uniform. The shower was cold too of course, she would have to remain female until she was at least a few blocks from the bar after all. The pair of girls sitting nearby didn't bother her shower at all, even though there wasn't even a curtain separating her from view, it was almost exactly like bathing in mountain streams with her father back before they were cursed.

Wrinkling her nose slightly and her now quite foul red Chinese silks, she slipped on the spare white set she had packed for after training and pulled a thermos from the bag as well.

On filling it for the walk home she clapped her hands, "Ok girls, lets head home,"

The girls were getting increasingly irritable as Ranma lead them back to the Tendo dojo. He was again surprised by knowledge he shouldn't have when he realised he had already chalked it up to them getting tired and needing sleep. In the end however he just gave up on that line of thought, At least whatever weirdness I'm in for now seems to include instructions.

Halfway home he had fished out the thermos and turned male again. Just like the first time the girls didn't so much as blink, although now they called him papa, rather than mama, which was probably a good thing too. About that point he had also picked the drowsy girls up, again one on each hip, and let them doze off on his shoulders.

He nudged the door to the Tendo dojo open with his foot and saw almost everyone gathered in the entryway, the fathers obviously on their way out drinking, Nabiki just tightening her shoes to head out on some inscrutable errand of her own, with Akane helping Kasumi handle a huge laundry basket down the adjoining hallway.

Suddenly Ranma realised that whatever knowledge had been shoved into his head regarding the girls was a trap of its own. Armed with that knowledge he had felt fairly relaxed and confident. Because of that he hadn't given a single thought to how he would explain the latest drama to everyone else the whole way home.

Then, as one, the tiny girls stirred from their slumber and murmured confusedly, what was probably the worst word they could have come up with, "Papa?"