A/N: This is a one-shot that has been haunting me all day. I just had to write it down. Had to. Had fun as well :) I hope you enjoy!

What a scandal

Well, shake it up, baby, now, shake it up, baby

Twist and shout, twist and shout

C'mon c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now, come on baby

Come on and work it on out, work it on out

Another party thrown by the all-star team. Not so fancy as the last time, though.

Caroline takes a glass of champagne Klaus gives her.

"I'm shocked nobody has been killed so far." She smirks.

"Um. Elijah locked Kol somewhere for the safety of our guests." Klaus says. He likes how she looks in this tight dress, it makes him so hor–

"Really? No evil plans this time? Unbelievable." She shakes her hair.

The band is playing some good oldies.

"I loved the sixties, you know." He sighs. Caroline just downs another glass of champagne. Funny, this feeling. Bubbles. Her stomach flutters when he takes her hand and leads her towards the dance floor.

Well, work it on out, honey, work it on out

You know you look so good, look so good

You know you got me goin', now, got me goin'

Just like I knew you would, like I knew you would

"I don't feel like dancing," she tells him but doesn't let go of his hand. And then a mischievous grin appears on her face. "Let's go somewhere else." She loves champagne. Her head is spinning.

The wall in a hallway on the second floor of his mansion cracks when he pins her to it and kisses her roughly on the lips. The picture on the opposite wall falls down with a loud bang when she switches positions and pins him instead. Her left hand plays with his curly hair while the other hand wanders over his chest and stomach. They kiss – they devour! – each other impatiently, bouncing from one wall to another, getting closer, step by step, to a bedroom door.

"Damon, we can't– " Elena whispers but pulls his face closer into a kiss.

"Yeah, we definitely can't–" He agrees, then rips her strapless top off.

"It's so wrong–" She breathes and unbuttons his black, all-villainy shirt.

"Yeah, it's so not right–" He mumbles and slides a strap of her bra down to kiss her collar bone.

The bed they are laying on is sinfully soft and they both sink into its expensive green covers. The bedroom is relatively big – it has to be because the bed is large enough for, like, four people. No Damon, it's NOT a suggestion. The rest of space is occupied only by a high, big mahogany wardrobes. The other door leads to a bathroom and judging by the Originals' taste, it is – it must be – luxurious.

"We need to stop–"

"Yeah, we need–"

So they stop… only to get rid of Elena's mini skirt.

One look at each other and the game is on again.

The shower runs and runs but Rebekah apparently does not care as she is kissing totally naked Matt under the stream of water. Matt is kissing totally naked Rebekah back and they could swear the steam on the shower glass wall isn't induced just by the hot water.

She leans by the shower wall, her hands around his neck, her legs wrapped around his waist. A commoner, you said, stupid brother? No commoner kisses like that.

By the time they reach the bedroom door Klaus is shirtless and Caroline is almost dress-less as well. They also may have some bruises here and there, with the special stress on there, but neither of them cares because, well, how many bruises would stay on a vampire? None at all.

Only few pieces of underwear cover Elena's and Damon's bodies as they engage in a battle of lustful touches and passionate kisses.

"Damon–"

"I know," he pants. "It's wrong." He kisses a sensitive spot between her breasts.

"N-no. Don't stop."

And the Golden Pants Award for the best act of seducing goes to Damon Salvatore, the vampire gigolo! He smiles proudly.

Rebekah definitely likes making out under the shower.

And the feeling of a heart beating next to her when hers is, for the lack of better word, dead, is somehow comforting. Matt's warm skin and breath on her neck turn her on. Yes, she's turned on by a human. A commoner! Hah!

Don't stop, you gentleman, and kiss the lady. More.

And some more.

And–

Just when she is about to take things to a new level, they hear a loud noise.

What the fu–

Caroline is being pressed against the bedroom door, the top of her strapless mini dress pulled down to reveal her black bra, and the bottom of the dress pulled up to reveal her black pants.

Her hair is ruffled, and the rest of her red lipstick is smeared on her face. Klaus obviously doesn't care because at this very moment his jeans are unbuttoned and ready to take the immediate flight to any place on the floor.

Klaus grabs the door handle and press it down.

"Aaaah!"

They fall into the bedroom and down on the wooden floor.

THUD!

"What the fu–" Damon gapes with his mouth open.

So do Elena, in her polka-dot underwear, laying right under Damon. Shocked.

Klaus is laying on Caroline who is laying on the floor. Botch speechless.

Both look up blankly towards the bed on which the older Salvatore and Elena lay.

Damon comes up with the most intelligent comment he can muster. "Fuck."

"Um." Good one, Elena.

Suddenly the bathroom door opens.

"–yeah just a moment, I will check what this noise– Holy shit!" She screams when she sees two almost naked couples in the bedroom. Then she remembers that – damn it – she's only wearing a towel.

"Rebekah, what's wro–" Matt doesn't end his sentence as he finds himself next to the Original Blonde, standing in a similar white towel, similarly half-naked.

"What. The. Hell." Rebekah doesn't really remember the last time she was as dumbfounded as in this moment. Even when their crazy witchy mama decided to go all Dexter on them.

"Rebekah?" mutters Damon.

"Klaus?" stammers Rebekah.

"Elena?" gulps Caroline.

"Matt?" pouts Elena.

Matt doesn't get to say anything because all three couples hear a loud–

BANG! The wardrobe almost moves. BANG!

"The wardrobe." Klaus, still laying on Caroline, states the obvious and points towards the big mahogany wardrobe next to the bathroom door.

The hear a loud crack and the wardrobe door burst open.

Somebody drops to the floor but in the blink of the eye he stands up, hands bound by a pair of silver handcuffs. Damn you, Elijah, and your stupid precautions!

"Kol?" Klaus raises an eyebrow.

Kol, seriouslyy confused, takes a look at what is going on in his bedroom.

His bedroom!

There is one naked vampire-doppleganger couple on his bed.

His bed!

There is one naked vampire-human couple in his towels.

His towels!

And there is one naked vampire-vampire couple on his polished wooden floor.

His, well… floor.

Kol shakes his head with disbelief, his eyes wide.

"I don't want to live on this planet anymore."