Characters: Light, Misa

Rating: K+

A/N: I noticed a lot of authors have multi-chapter fics where they just post random cracks. So here is my very own Cracks in the Mirror. Look inside, and you shall see the twisted rendition of your own visage, muahahahha… eh. Ok, please don't be scared. As I have mentioned, this is entirely crack, humor, no seriousness, please do not judge the quality of my writing by these ficlets, oh and they will probably be of varying characters, pairings, and ratings.

And for this particular installment: I don't have anything against environmentalists; I just don't like it when they try to be all self-righteous if their logic is flawed.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

Save the Shinigami Trees!

"Light…"

Over six years, Light had significantly exercised his selective hearing. It follows that he had trained his ears to exclude any sound waves of Misa's frequency.

"Lighttttt," Misa whined with more urgency.

"What?" he finally snapped, not tearing his eyes away from the TV where Kira's Kingdom was playing.

"I think we should get a Death Notebook."

"We already have two."

"No," Misa persisted. "I mean a notebook, like a laptop. Then we could type up the names in a Word document instead of writing them on paper."

Light sighed internally and directed his attention to his laptop, where he commenced typing notes on how he would like to have Demegawa die for his insufferable antics. He might just include Misa while he was at it, although honestly, suggestions like this were nothing new to him. Just last month she'd wanted to decorate the cover and pages of the notebook with stickers and illustrations to somehow mask its purpose.

"Misa, you're missing a crucial point here: a laptop cannot kill." Although admittedly, it would be convenient for planning Demegawa's very detailed death.

"But Light, you're so smart, I'm sure you could figure out a way to program the laptop to kill. Maybe Ryuk could help you. And it would be safer, because you could password protect the files. And most of all, you could save the environment!"

Well, that's new. Light actually swiveled around on his chair to stare at Misa, sprawled on the couch. "What in the world are you talking about?"

"Light, writing in the note uses so much paper! I bet you've killed as many trees as you have criminals!"

"Misa, the note isn't made from trees. It's from the Shinigami realm."

"How do you know they don't have trees in the Shinigami realm? If you kill those trees too, there won't be enough to do photosynthesis, and then global warming will be exacerbated and the polar bears will all drown!" Misa wailed.

Light shook his head, turning back to his work. "You need to stop smoking Shinigami weed," he muttered inaudibly. Although it seems to have magically given you the brainpower to pronounce five-syllable words—in English.

He really needed a new, smarter tool, preferably not another environmentalist junkie… that Mikami guy didn't look like a tree-hugger. Maybe he would do.