Wow, I am so sorry it took me this long. I've had it written for weeks, but was too lazy to read over it once. So sorry guys!
I watched her all through English class. Even if only the back of her head, I never got tired of watching. Her hair was so colorful, deep burgundy that always let me pick her out in a crowd. That comforted me somehow.
Not that I'd ever need to pick her out of a crowd. She wasn't anyone special.
Aw, fuck it. I was in love with her, wasn't I?
I didn't know how the hell I was going to dig myself out of this one. She wouldn't answer any calls. She pointedly avoided any eye contact. It was like my existence had been thoroughly scrubbed clean of her life. It made me feel like shit. Especially since I thought she said she loved me. I guess I was that easy to forget.
I watched her rise from her seat and realized the bell had rung. What I didn't realize it that I was following her, until I saw myself brushing her hair off her neck and over her shoulder. The move that never failed to make her sigh this time tightened her shoulders.
"Hey," I said softly, hoping not to startle her.
"What do you want?" She asked coolly, not even turning to look me in the eye. I wanted to grab her by both of her shoulders and forcibly spin her around, but figured it wouldn't help my case in that moment.
"You haven't been answering my calls." I told her, evading the question.
"I was under the impression it didn't matter to you what I did." She said tonelessly. "Now what do you want?"
I grabbed her arm, hard enough to keep her by my side, but not enough to leave marks. I hated her, in that moment, for knowing what she was doing to me. It was cruel and manipulative. And passionate and probably for the good of both of us. So much like her. "Look, stop trying to make me say it, babe. I suck at words."
"Let go of me," she said, voice cracking, desperately trying to shake me off. I let go, stunned into action by the unexpected urgency in her tone. She wasn't the unfeeling, heartless bitch I'd always made her out to be. The uncharacteristic emotion made me sick to think it was my own fault. I was glad she was facing away from me. I didn't want to see that emotion splayed across her face. "How the hell do you expect me to know what you want to say without you actually saying anything. I'm not a fuckin' miracle. I don't want to know what goes on in that fucked up head of yours."
I had to speak then, but I was at a loss. All I could think to say was, "Actions are supposed to speak louder than words."
She turned to me then, and I was assaulted by her tearful eyes and angry scowl; deep breaths and hot cheeks. "How am I going to be able to know what you mean when I can only interrupt you actions as I'd like. You're just a fuck-buddy Suigetsu, you're never supposed to trust them."
I couldn't pause to realize the inevitable repercussions before scooping her into my arms and forcing her into a kiss. I could only think 'God, I've missed this,' before her palm turned my cheek a harsh scarlet.
"Rot in hell," she told me, before swiftly turning away and making her way down the hallway. A couple oohs from stupid teenage observers did little to distract me. I took off in the opposite direction, head down. I don't know why I never could listen.
I skipped the rest of the school day, speed-walking to the park where I could think, leaning against some tree I'm sure had been around since the beginning of time. I needed to cool off. Or regain some dignity or something.
I needed a smoke. Desperately.
I took a drag, smoke dangerously filling my lungs. I watched as it swirled off my bottom lip. I lifted the cigarette of my lips so I could stare at it. I wasn't really a smoker. I only smoked sometimes when I was pissed or unsettled. And I never smoked in front of the guys since they were probably the only ones who cared enough to give me a hard time. No one ever gave me grief about it.
Until Karin. I lit up one day after some argument with my father and she gave me this look of sheer disgust. She started ranting and raving about how that shit would kill me and it wouldn't matter to her but was repulsive and if I didn't stop she just might have to leave before I even got any.
"What's it to you then, if you don't care?" I asked her, annoyed. She looked caught off guard, and hunched her shoulders in a fraction.
"I don't." She tossed her hair over her shoulder almost too casually. "But someone much care about you, right?"
I smirked to myself, dropping my cigarette in the dirt and snuffing out the orange flame with the toe of my shoe. She made me put my cigarette out back then too, the little bitch. How can she be mad at me when she couldn't just say she cared them, like I still couldn't. If it wasn't for that fight and her letting it slip, she still wouldn't be able to say it.
With a pang, I ran through her words from earlier. I don't think I'd ever heard her call me Suigetsu. It was always some kind of insult, or Sui when we were in bed. Everyone called me Suigetsu, but from her it seemed strangely impersonal—removed. What I wouldn't give…but that was it, wasn't it. There wasn't much else I had. People didn't care for me unless they had masochistic tendencies. I drove everyone around me insane. I was all good for one night, but no one ever stuck around. Somehow she managed to though. Until she realized how pointless it was even trying.
I pushed my hair out of my face. I was such a pussy. I couldn't even man up enough to tell her that I loved her. I wanted to take ownership so badly it was a physical ache.
I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket and checked the time. I could still make it, if I ran. So I sprinted.
After all, I didn't have anything to lose, except for her, and it was too late for that, wasn't it?
I ran all the way back to the school, just in time to lose myself in the throng of druggie burnouts of my generation. Almost desperately, I combed the crowd for her face, but with little success, until I spotted her head bobbing up and down, cherry red, as she strode a couple of yards away. Needless to say, I had to shove and force my way through the crowds to reach her quick enough, leaving a trail of pissed off students in my wake.
I grabbed her shoulders and twisted her my way the second time that day. I was hoping for a better outcome this time around.
"I love you," I said, trying not to appear out of breath. "You're a crazy-ass bitch, but I love you."
Karin gave me this look of incredulous outrage. Frozen like that for a few seconds, I was worried she's short-circuited for a moment. Then she hit me in the chest, but with less force than before.
"Oh my god, I fuckin' hate you!" she half-screamed. Still visibly upset. "What the hell do you think you're doing taking this long?"
I didn't wait for her to launch into one of her full-fledged rants before pulling her up in an embrace and kiss her as urgently as in my power. Instead of slapping me, this time she did nothing but relax into my hold, snaking her arms around my neck firmly enough that I could never escape a second time. I menerized her lips on mine again and wondered: why did I wait this long?
I pulled away at last. "Better now?"
Karin closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and met my eyes. "I think so."
I grinned down at her, interlacing my fingers with hers. She shot me a puzzled look as I started to pull her away.
"Where are we going?" she asked, though not necessarily upset for the first time in an eternity.
"Home." I answered. She leaned into my shoulder in an uncommonly affectionate gesture.
"I'm already home," She said almost dreamily. I wrinkled my nose.
"Are we really going to be one of those couples?" I wondered. She shared a similar look of distaste.
"You're right; I was just trying it out. It left a bad taste in my mouth." She then became a bit more serious. "Are we a couple then?"
"Nah," I said. "Just in love. Couples are stupid."
She shrugged and looked back in front of us. "Works for me."
Completed. Hope you liked it!