Title: Repairing Broken Bonds of Affection
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Shane Walsh, Rick Grimes
Spoilers: None
Warnings: spoilers, language, violence
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: prompt from livejournal's twd_kinkmeme - Spoilers, 2.12. Can someone please just re write that whole scene? Get Rick to talk him down and not end it that way. Please? It'll be a bandaid for my wounded heart.

Rick truly can't believe that Shane's got the gun pointed at his face. He'd followed Shane through the woods, knowingly tracking a body he knew they'd never find because he knows Shane needs him. It's a trap he lets himself be strung into. It had been gnawing him, carving at the inside of his stomach. The way Shane stops, boots twisting in the broken leaves when he turns to look at him and the eyes are searching his, dark and uneven, like he's trying to convince himself he needs to do this – to kill Rick – before they're walking again.

The open field leaves them bare to a cold wind their swirls away the plumes of gray from their breath. Rick's staring down the dark barrel and the fingers on the trigger are trembling. Shane keeps licking his lips, spitting blood onto the grass and Rick keeps his arms held out.

"You couldn't live with doing this," He says. Rick doesn't miss the momentary falter in Shane's hands. For the barest of seconds, they go lax around the trigger, like the gun might drop from the suddenly limp fingers. It's as if the weight of the gun slipping from his hands startles him and Shane tightens his grip again, knuckles white. Rick knows Shane couldn't live with this, knows he couldn't actually reason with himself with killing Rick, that the lapse he's already suffering from would crack open and he'd be swallowed up. He's heard the whispers from the others, heard Lori speak quietly to him in the night; they say he's dangerous, he's melting into insanity. But they don't know Shane, not like he does.

Rick takes a step forward and immediately, Shane takes one back. The unsteady, worried flicker is back in Shane's eyes as he studies Rick's face. For a moment, they turn down and the lashes quiver. Rick knows he's fighting with himself and he wonders how long Shane's been suffering so blatantly front of him, so torn and lost, and he's never noticed. Shane's been standing on this precarious perch with no one to pull him back even as he's kept everyone else pushed away so they don't fall with him. Shane's been needing help; he's been giving all that he can give with nothing back, and no one's once looked his way or offered a hand in return. He's listened to everyone, he's protected them – but he's ignored and everyone turns him into a problem when everything he's kept bottled is boiling up and he's cracking open. Rick begins to wonder when the last time he got Shane alone and just asked him how he was.

"Shane please," Rick says, his words speaking around a throat that's too wet. Shane looks up at him and Rick watches a visible recoil roll through his body when he speaks Shane's name. He curls his fingers in a heeding motion, speaking quietly, "Come here. Come to me." Shane doesn't move, but Rick watches as the gun lowers and it is level with his chest now, not his eyes. There's a guarded hunch to Shane's body that Rick wants to break through — has to break through, "You belong here Shane, you belong with us. You belong with me. Come here."

He watches as Shane's eyes shift to the knife that's tucked away in his belt. Rick reaches down and he hears the sharp intake of Shane's breath and he holds up his other hand defensively. Shane's gun is trained on him as he makes careful movements to the gun at his holster and frees it, setting it on the ground and lays the knife beside it. Rick stands again, aware that he's unarmed now and that if Shane really intends to kill him, he'll have no fight in doing so. But Rick knows he won't be dying out here, not today, and not at the hands of his best friend. Shane's broken; he's confused and he's complex and as Rick takes a step forward and Shane's feet stay grounded, he begins the journey forward into truly bringing Shane back that he should have started months ago.

"You're going to give me the gun Shane," Rick speaks gently and Shane lowers the revolver once more, eyes wide. There's something in them, a niggling darkness that's been festering so deeply and is roiling to get out. But Shane's in there, Rick knows it, "You're not going to shoot me. You're going to give me the gun and you're going to come to me." Rick reaches out and wraps a hand carefully around Shane's wrists. Shane's hands are shaking violently now and there's a clarity dawning on his face that had been so clouded moments before Rick started talking him down, that he's finally comprehending he'd just put a gun to Rick's head and was prepared to eliminate his entire existence. But Rick's forgiven him already because he loves this man and knows that it wasn't actually Shane who'd turned that weapon on him.

Rick pulls at Shane's fingers, opening them and slowly slides the gun from his grasp. He lets it fall with a solid thud onto the grass. Rick flips Shane's hands over in his own and watches as they tremble. Shane's breathing is ragged and uneven and he's looking down at the ground, shaking his head back and forth, like he's trying to shake the all-consuming darkness from his mind that's been eating at him, absorbing his being.

Rick wishes he could banish it in that moment, that he had seen this earlier and hadn't let it get so god damn far. This is going to take some work, but he's going to get Shane back because Shane's already taken the first motion forward to return. Rick reaches a hand up, placing it on Shane's neck, squeezing hard.

"Come here," Rick says again one last time and this time Shane takes the step forward. Rick can feel the thrumming tension in Shane's body when he takes the broad man to him.

"Rick-" Shane chokes out and all of a sudden, he's crying. He's bawling actually, pressing his face into Rick's shoulder, arms wrapping around him and twisting his jacket in his fists. Rick envelopes him into his embrace, pressing a kiss to his temple as Shane sobs against him and Rick can feel the raw, open wounds of his heart and mind in his unyielding cries.

The wind is cold but Shane's burning hot against him with his suffering soul bared and there are better angels out there somewhere because Rick can see now with eyes he hadn't had before and can finally bring him home.