That Scoundrel Lee

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

"So," asked Mai one lazy afternoon, shortly after the defeat of Ozai when the gang was all gathered in Iroh's tea shop, "What did you get-up to while on the run from me in the Earth Kingdom?"

"What do you mean?" asked Zuko, "I mean, I wasn't on the run from you in particular. I mean, I didn't even really think about you, just Azula."

Wrong thing to say, Mai did not look happy, "Of course you weren't thinking of me, Lee," she sneered, "Not when you had, what was her name, Jin?"

Zuko blinked, "Huh?"

"Who's Jin?" asked Toph.

"Zuko's ex-girlfriend," replied Iroh, "One of a string of broken hearts my nephew left across the Earth Kingdom."

"There were more?" queried Mai, now more interested then angry.

"Oh yes," said Iroh, "My nephew is quite the player. You should be careful Mai and keep a very tight leash on him," he advised.

"Uncle Iroh!" protested Zuko, "Please don't lie!"

"Who's lying," demanded Iroh, "It's absolutely the truth. Lee was quite the scoundrel. I mean, the tale of Prince Zuko is beautiful and romantic. In love with the same girl since his childhood, ripped from her by his cruel father who banished the good prince from his beloved kingdom! The Prince returns to his childhood sweetheart after making some questionable choices and sacrificing his better principles! Only to realise the errors of his way and abandoning her for the greater good before returning to her forever as the Firelord!"

"It better be forever," muttered Mai, "The spirits knows I have been abandoned enough time and endured enough waiting."

"O you poor dear," said Katara half-joking, half-serious, "I don't know how you put-up with him!"

"Me neither," said Toph, punching her affectionately.

"You really need a better way of showing affection," commented Mai as she rubbed the spot Toph had punched.

"O I am sure you and Zuko will have a fairytale ending," commented Iroh, "Lee on the other hand, is a different story. All who have loved Lee have had their hearts broken!"

"What are you talking about, Uncle?" demanded Zuko.

"It started with an innocent healer named, Song," said Iroh, "O she was so beautiful, so caring and she fell for Lee at first sight. She took care of Lee's uncle free of charge and even invited Lee and his uncle to her house. Song was such a generous soul and her mother was quite the cook! Song spent all evening trying to impress Lee, trying to cheer him-up because she perceived his spirits were low. She even showed him her scars to assure him that she did not care about his."

"Wait!" cried Zuko, "How do you know that? Were you spying on me?"

Iroh ignored him and went on, "She spoke to him about hope and asked him to take heart in the fact that the Avatar had returned!"

Aang smiled, "Sounds like a wonderful person!"

"But alas, Lee was not moved and broke her heart by stealing her ostrich-horse," concluded Iroh sadly.

"You did what!" cried Katara, "After she nursed your uncle and was so kind to you? That's... that's horrible!"

"What! I needed a mount!" protested Zuko.

"But why would you steal it from Song?" demanded Suki, "Surely there are better ways of letting a girl know you aren't interested in her!"

"I..." Zuko didn't know what to say, "I sent it back!" he finally cried, "After I was done with it and the Order of the White Lotus got us to Ba Sing Sa, I arranged for them to take the ostrich-horse back to her. I even attached a note!"

"What did it say," wondered Katara, "Sorry Song but I am a jerk. Next time, fall for someone more worthy?"

Zuko glared at her but before he could respond, Mai jumped in with, "Knowing Zuko and his eloquence with words. It probably said something like 'here's your ostrich-horse back'" Zuko looked disturbed, "By the spirits, it actually did say that!"

"What!" cried Zuko, "I didn't know what else to say!"

"You are the worst!" declared Suki.

"And yet you have not heard the worst of it," said Iroh, "Lee's next romantic conquest was a very handsome but very troubled boy named Jet."

"Jet!" cried the gang in unison.

"Uncle!" screamed Zuko, "Jet wasn't in love with me!"

"Ah but he was, nephew. In fact, he was fairly obsessed!" declared Iroh.

"Obsessed with proving we were Fire Nation because he saw you firebend your tea!" cried Zuko.

"No, his obsession began before that. As soon as he laid eyes on your scarred but still handsome features, his heart started beating for you," said Iroh.

"Uncle!" pleaded Zuko, "Stop making stuff-up!"

"But it is true!" replied Iroh, adamantly, "The way he found any excuse to be close to you. To share words with you... he would have ravaged you if you would have only let him!"

Zuko groaned as the rest of the gang, except for Suki and Mai - who had not met Jet, tried to get the X-rated images of Zuko and Jet doing it out of their minds.

"But alas, it was not to be and Jet became another victim of the scoundrel Lee," continued Iroh, "Forced to vent his sexual frustration through combat, Jet challenged Lee and the two fought a spectacular duel on the streets of Ba Sing Sa when Jet was arrested by the Dai Lee. Jet and Lee, never met again..."

"Because Jet died," Toph informed all who might not know, namely Mai and Iroh.

"Really?" asked Iroh, "That's even worse! I wonder if Jet's last thoughts were of Lee, the boy he had loved so passionately."

"Once again, Jet was not in love with me!" cried Zuko but no one was listening to him.

"Poor Jet," said Sokka, "I never liked the guy but you just can't help but feel sorry for him and his ill-fated love."

"I give-up! I give-up!" declared Zuko as he started bashing his head against the nearest flat surface, which happen to be the pi-sho table.

"By contrast," said Iroh, "Jin got off lightly. She was a sweet, pretty girl who met Lee at a tea shop. Lee was working there and so Jin came everyday. Drinking the cheapest tea but a lot of it, just so she could prolong the time she was around Lee. Finally the girl got up the nerve to ask Lee out. Lee was ready to refuse, but fortunately, Lee's uncle was there to intervene and Jin got to go on a date with the boy she had taken such a fancy too. What happened on that date... nobody knows but Lee returned declaring that the date was nice, yet Jin never returned to the tea shop... the two facts did not add-up. So we must conclude that Lee broke Jin's heart! Just like he did with everybody else," concluded Iroh in a sad tone of voice.

"Of course he did," said Mai in her characteristic bored tone of voice, "That's why she was so eager to throw icicles at him."

"Oh?" said Toph, "Jin got some revenge did she?"

"Yes, yes she did," said Mai, "See, you would think that Zuko sided with Azula because he wanted to go home but in typical Zuko fashion, afterwards, he actually declared he was not returning to the Fire Nation. Don't ask me what he was thinking, I strongly suspect even he didn't know what he was thinking," Mai informed them, "Anyway, Azula decided that she would use me to entice Zuko back to the Fire Nation and tricked us into having a dinner date. It was going as well as can be expected given I was having dinner with the Prince of Angst!"

Sokka laughed, "Prince of Angst, I have to remember that!" Zuko shot him death glares.

"But Azula and Ty Lee were hiding in the bushes and it was only a matter of time before they gave themselves away. So Zuko and I decided to just leave and wander the streets of Ba Sing Sa when we ran into Jin. Jin wasn't unhappy to see Lee and was a little jealous of me. So I can only conclude that the date had gone fairly well. Anyway, it seems that Lee told Jin he used to be a juggler from the circus and tried to pass me off as a circus knife thrower," Mai grinned, "Good thing I actually am a knife thrower and I took full advantage of the fact by putting a fish on Lee's head and giving Jin some knife throwing lessons with some icicles," Mai laughed as she recalled the moment, "Oh the look on Zuko's face when Jin missed and he tumbled into the fountain to avoid being impaled," she laughed again but then smiled a smile that wasn't sad but wasn't happy either, "A lot had changed," she concluded, "But it was good to know that some things hadn't," Zuko took the cue and put his arms around Mai, pulling her close.

"See what I mean," pipped in Iroh, "Zuko is a romantic but Lee, Lee was a scoundrel!"

"Kind of makes me wonder," added Aang, "What you got up to as the Blue Spirit."

Mai pulled away in shock as the rest of the gang exclaimed, "You were the Blue Spirit!"

"Yes, yes he was," admitted Iroh, "The scourge of the Fire Nation, who terrorised the denizens of the Earth Kingdom for weeks, stealing from the rich and poor alike! I only saw the booty that the Blue Spirit could carry back to his cavernous lair," said Iroh, "Did the Blue Spirit also steal hearts? That I do not know..."

"Maybe he didn't steal hearts," said Toph, "Maybe the Blue Spirit stole virtues!"

"I did no such thing!" protested Zuko, "I am not that kind of a man!"

"Zuko isn't, but we are talking about the Blue Spirit here," said Toph.

"That doesn't even make sense!" protested Zuko.

"Mai," said Suki, "Are you sure you wouldn't be happier with someone else? I can look for a nice Earth Kingdom boy for you if the Fire Nation boys are a bit wanting," she offered.

"South Pole doesn't have much to offer," Katara pipped in, "But the North Pole seemed to have some nice boys our age! Just say the word and we'll go on a vacation to the north to find you a nice waterbender!"

"My mom is something of a matchmaker," Toph joined in, "So if you are a snob and only nobles will do, I can introduce you to my mom. She has the details of all the eligible Earth Kingdom nobles! In fact," she added, "Isn't King Kuei single? Maybe we can hook Mai up with him! That'll help with the peace too!"

"Why am I friends with any of you!" wondered Zuko, "Stop trying to give away my girlfriend!" They all laughed but continued to tease Zuko and Mai as they spent a lazy afternoon in Ba Sing Sa.

Author's Note: I hope you like this silly little fic. The bit about Zuko and Mai meeting Jin is from the comic "Going Home", which basically showed how Azula convinced Zuko to return to the Fire Nation. Also, no I don't think the Gang was ever formally told that Zuko was the Blue Spirit. I mean, during the Boy In The Iceberg they showed the Blue Spirit rescuing Aang. Katara, Suki, Sokka and Toph were probably smart enough to figure out that Zuko was the Blue Spirit since Aang had previously told them that Zuko rescued him from Admiral Zhao but they were never shown to be explicitly informed that Zuko's criminal identity was the Blue Spirit. Thanks for reading!