It has occurred to me that I forgot all the disclaimers sooo…

I am not Eoin Colfer, and, as much as I wish I did, I do not own Artemis Fowl and co.

`Kay `kay, on with chapter 3!

"Artemis? Artemis wake up. Wake up Mud-Boy!"

Artemis opened his eyes to see Holly leaning over him, with a marker mustache on her face.

"What? Artemis What`s so funny?" asked Holly as Artemis started laughing.

"You have a mustache on your face!" said Artemis in between giggles. Holly frowned and ran over to a mirror that was hanging on the wall. She tried to wipe it off.

"Don't even try, I think it's Sharpie, it won't come off that easily!" he said laughing again.

Holly turned to him; her face was red and would have made her old commander proud.

"Artemis, what did you do to my face?" she screeched

"Wha- me? I didn't do anything! I don't even know how I got here!" he gestured around the kitchen, and finally noticed that it was a mess. "What happened in here?" he asked looking around.

"We can discuss that later. Right now, I have to kill you for drawing on my face!" Holly screamed as she ran towards him, and tackled him to the ground.

"Why did you draw on my face? Does it look like I have a mustache to you? You think it would be funny huh? Well how funny is it now?" she screamed, pinning him down, and wrapping her tiny hands around his scrawny throat, and squeezing.

"Holly please let go I can't breath!" he managed to choke out.

"I bet it's not funny now! This'll teach you do draw a mustache on my face!" she then started banging his head on the floor, not hard enough to actually damage anything, but it did hurt.

"Holly… stop!" he tried to say, but under the circumstances, it was kind of hard. Butler had walked in and seen this but it looked like she would kill him, and that wouldn't be good. As funny as this was to watch, he decided to step in and help his charge. He picked Holly up off of Artemis, but she didn't let go of his neck, so Artemis was lifted along with her, which didn't help because she tightened her grip on his neck. He clawed at her fingers, trying to free himself.

"Holly, why don't you put Artemis down, and we can talk about this," said Butler, and Holly let go of Artemis, who fell gasping to the floor.

"What…was that…about?" he panted.

"I don't like it when people do that to me, and it makes it worse when it's permanent," she said.

"Okay, your hatred of facial hair aside, how exactly did I get here, and why does it look like it snowed in here?"

Holly looked down at her feet. "I put some sugar in your tea, and you went all crazy, you got a bunch of sugar and did this," she said gesturing around at the mess. "You even poured it on yourself."

He reached up to his face, and felt the paint on it. The sugar had stuck to the wet paint and when he brushed it, the sugar fell to the ground. He brushed through his hair and discovered it was full of sugar. He stared at his hand in amazement. "This is sugar?" he asked as he started to lick his fingers.

Butler dived forward and yanked his hand away from his face, glad that they hadn't made it to his mouth.

Artemis seemed to realize what had just happened and looked furiously at Holly. "I told you what happened when I ate sugar. Why did you deliberately put it in my tea?"

"I thought it would be funny! I didn't know this would happen!" she defended herself.

"Butler, what else have I destroyed?" he asked.

"Nothing more than a few vases and this room, but I'm sure we can clean it up."

"Good, that's better than last time. I shall help you clean this mess up," and he left the kitchen to get some brooms.

"Has he ever cleaned anything in his entire life?" asked holly.

"No, he has not. I don't even know if he can work a broom," Butler said.

Artemis came back with a few brooms, a little broom, and a dustpan. He gave Butler a broom and Holly the little broom and dustpan.

Butler and Artemis swept up sugar into piles while Holly would sweep the piles into the dustpan and throw it away in a trashcan. It took all of Artemis` willpower not to start eating the sugar piles.

After about an hour, the kitchen floor was completely sugar free, and Artemis had tried to eat the sugar only three times. Butler had gotten some rags and was now cleaning the counters with Holly and Artemis. He noticed that Artemis` cleaning became sluggish and his eyelids were drooping.

"Artemis, why don't you go lie down? You must be tired." He said. "And Holly, I'm sure you're probably in enough trouble as it is being here for so long, so go on back to Haven. I can get this cleaned up in time." Both Artemis and Holly started to argue, but he was right, so they headed upstairs. Holly collected her stuff from Artemis` study, and Artemis washed the mustache off of Holly using nail polish remover and soap and water. After her face was clean, she said goodbye. He is tired she thought. He looks like a zombie. She walked out the front door and flew away. Artemis watched her go, and shut the door when she shielded herself. He walked up the stairs to his room and fell onto his bed and immediately fell asleep.

When Holly had shielded, she turned on her communication.

"Did you get all that Foaly?" she asked.

"You know very well that I did. I'm glad I gave you an iris cam, that'll be great for entertainment and blackmail! I'll have to show Trouble that, honestly! Where do you think he keeps his marshmallow shooter of death!" he said laughing. She smiled. Somehow, she didn't think she would get into too much trouble with footage like that.