A/N: This was inspired by a post on Tumblr where both brothers dream that they fail to save the other the day after the bar fight. As always don't own anything here, just playing in the sandbox. Enjoy! (also thanks to ShazzyZhang for helping with a re-edit)

Sometimes Connor dreams that he's too late to save Murphy. It's a never ending dream where he's on the roof of their building, holding the toilet in his bloodied hands and jumping off to save his brother. But his aim is off and instead it crashes to the left of the Russians, shattering into a million pieces on the hard ground. And just as Connor hits the ground before he blacks out he hears the sound of a gun firing and he knows Murphy is dead; himself next.

Then it starts all over again but this time just as he gets to the roof there's the sound of gunfire; Checkov deciding not to wait any longer to exact his revenge from the humiliation of losing the bar fight. Dropping the toilet, he rushes to the edge only to see the mobsters standing around Murphy's body, a hole in the back of his skull and blood all over.

Tossing and turning, Connor dreams that he can't break free and no matter how much he pulls against the base of the toilet it just won't give. No matter how bloody his wrists get, the cuffs digging into his skin, it stays attached to the floor and he has to kneel there-listening to the faint sound of a gun going off and knowing that Murphy was laying on the ground, dead.

The sound of a gunshot echoing in his mind, Connor sits up with his heart thudding in his chest and his mind frantically hoping that it was just a dream and not reliving one of the most horrible moments in his life.

Some nights Connor tossing and turning in his bed wakes Murphy up and he always knows what his brother is dreaming about.

He has the same nightmare.

In his nightmare Checkov goes ahead with his original plan of killing Connor in their loft, right in front of Murphy. He's left kneeling on the floor, looking at his brother, blood pooling on the toilet. As he stares at Connor's lifeless body, Murphy hears the sound of a hammer being pulled back and then a gun firing.

Murphy watches as Checkov is killed by the falling toilet and Connor falls from the building, only he doesn't land on the other Russian but on the asphalt and there's a sickening 'thud' as Connor's skull is split open. His brother is dead on impact and all Murphy can do is watch in shock as dark blood slowly makes its way towards his knees.

Sometimes Murphy dreams that after he takes care of the other Russian he scrambles over to Connor, but in searching for a pulse doesn't find one. He had been willing to risk his life to save Murphy, and even though he had landed on the Russian, the impact had killed his brother.

Unlike Connor's, Murphy's mind is just too cruel to let Checkov pull the trigger- they just vanish and Murphy is left alone with Connor in the alley while praying that his brother is still alive and he has the strength to carry him all the way to the hospital.

He understands what Connor dreams about so when his brother startles awake he doesn't say anything.

Murphy just gets up and hands Connor a cigarette while sitting on the side of the bed while they both light up. Still not saying anything, they sit there in the dark until Murphy places a hand on Connor's shoulder telling him without words, "It's alright brother, I'm here. We're here. It was just a dream."