The First Time

His body laid on top of hers, covered in sweat. He was breathing heavily right by her ear, trying to regain his breath. She, on the other hand, was happy that it was all over and had the overwhelming desire to get away from him as soon as she could. At last, he pulled away from her, lying beside her on the bed, a satisfied look in his brown eyes.

"I'm going to shower," she said quietly, getting up. She walked to her clothes drawer, taking out a black tank-top, pink pajama bottoms and a pair of underwear. She held her clothes close to her body, attempting to cover some of her nakedness and trying not to turn to look at him.

"Don't take too long, Leaf," he told her, a seductive undertone in his voice. "I'm hoping for another round later."

She tensed up at that, her hair standing on end from that comment. She remained quiet, walking out the door. There really was no need for her to cover up her body since no one but she and Blue were in the house. Her house, actually. Her mother and Daisy had gone to Red's house, giving his mother some company since the boy had practically disappeared from Pallet Town. Blue came over to her house on his own accord, wanting to spend the evening with her. She gladly accepted, and she had thought it was going to be a quiet evening. She never expected it to escalate into something far more passionate.

She gagged at the thought, but for different reasons. It wasn't because she had sex with Blue but because she even did such an act. She originally planned to wait until marriage, and she believed that Blue would be the one she'd marry. Ever since puberty hit her and she received "The Talk", her mother desperately tried to make her see the value of waiting until marriage. And, it worked. It was, after all, something Leaf had planned, but that plan fell apart tonight.

She entered the bathroom, locking it as soon as she was inside. She set her clothes on the counter and looked up to see her nude body in the mirror. She stepped back a bit, looking at her reflection. She found reddish spots on random areas of her neck and left shoulder. She sighed in frustration, wondering what the hell she should do to cover them up. It wasn't her mother she was worried about—her mother had seen previous ones she had—but Professor Oak. She worked as his apprentice, helping him with his research and doing her own field studies. She even helped design the new Pokédexes, but they were currently sitting in the lab. Oak told her that he was waiting for exceptional trainers to give them to, almost in the same manner he had waited to send her, Blue, and Red on their own adventures.

Every time the professor saw a hickey on her, despite how hard she tried to cover it, he'd give her a questionable look. It was a look that asked if she was doing anything more than that with Blue. At the time, she wasn't. Now, it was an entirely different story. She had done "the unspeakable", the taboo the older generation considered disgraceful and offensive. Although, she didn't give two shits about the taboo. What she's done can easily be hidden from the eyes of society. She only had to worry about Blue, who had the tendency to brag about his accomplishments, and even that wasn't too much of problem for her to handle. And if she played her cards right, her mother's intuition wouldn't be able to pick up on tonight's events.

Her eyes wandered away from her neck, something else catching her attention. Slowly coming down her thigh was blood, which alarmed her. She grabbed some toilet paper and used it to wipe the blood away. Leaf looked at the floor to see if any of it had fallen, and luckily, it didn't. A sigh of relief escaped her mouth, the feeling of panic fading away. Really, why was she so startled when she knew where the blood came from? She wasn't ignorant to sex because she did her own research in that field. She occasionally went to the library and read books about it there—Arceus forbid her mother finding such books in her room—, and she would use her computer to look up anything else. She was also no stranger to pornography, but she only watched out of curiosity and to see what the opposite sex enjoyed in bed (pool, couch, bathroom, kitchen, and outdoors).

She had the water run in the tub, waiting for the temperature to get warmer. She watched the water fall, going back to her thoughts. Her desire to learn more about sex created a newfound curiosity in Blue, one that made her want to learn the more hidden aspects of him, both physical and psychological. Because of internet pornography, it made her curious of how her boyfriend's more intimate parts looked like. She then wondered what it was that he liked in a woman. To find out the latter, Leaf looked under his mattress when she was waiting for him to come home from Viridian gym. She knew of the magazines but never looked at them until that day. She opened one and began to read, looking at the pictures of scantily clad or outright nude women. However, it made her feel a little insecure because one article said that if a woman doesn't properly satisfy her man, he'd look somewhere else—it wasn't, exactly, in those words. It also scared her since it was probable that Blue could leave her, and he wouldn't have any trouble finding someone else.

Leaf set the water to the showerhead, the water giving a quiet, steady stream. She stepped inside, closing the shower curtain when the water hit her body. She grabbed a bottle of shampoo, squeezed out the liquid, and began to wash her hair. Seeing that article in Blue's magazine confused her on what she had to do. She didn't want to have sex for she was saving that for marriage. But what could she do to satisfy him until then? She had some ideas, but she wanted to know what Blue wanted. So, she outright asked him. The question caught him by surprise, and it also slightly embarrassed him. The alternatives he told her were a few things she knew about. Though, she was rather uncertain of performing them, especially since this would mark the start of their sexual life. But, it was like training Pokémon, right? The more Pokémon battled, the stronger they got. Likewise, the more she, and he, practiced, the more experienced they'd get.

She rinsed out the shampoo from her hair and added more shampoo for another wash. Her first sexual experience was when she and Blue were alone in his house. That day, she was wearing a white sundress with red-orange flowers on it, and he was wearing tan pants with a black shirt. She was laying in his bed, reading a book to get more information for a report she had to write, while he was playing a game on the NES. She could tell that he was already getting bored after the first five minutes. He always did like to do things that were exciting and posed a challenge. Ten minutes in, and he was already fed up, shutting off the console and TV. He stared at the dark screen before getting up and lying beside her on the bed. He leaned in and began to kiss her neck, which she found to be a bit of a nuisance since she was focusing on her studying.

"Stop it, Blue," she said, moving a little away from him. "I need to study so I can write a report for Professor Oak."

"I'm bored, though," he said, getting closer to her.

"Then go entertain yourself or something."

"I want you to entertain me."

"What do you mean—"

He suddenly took the book from her hands, dropping it on the floor as he got on top of her. She was about to push him off, but he grabbed her wrists in his own hands, pinning her arms to the sides, and looked at her with a devilish smirk on his face. He leaned his face close to hers, his mouth right by her ear.

"I want you to do something for me," he said in a low voice, lightly biting at her earlobe. She shivered a bit, and she knew exactly what he was talking about. She may have been dense before, finding it difficult to pick up on emotions unless they were blatantly obvious, but she's no longer that person. It was Blue, after all, who made her more observant of emotions, particularly his. And what emotion was he feeling now? She could deduce only one: Lust. Her stomach felt like it was tying knots inside her. She wasn't so sure if she can go through with what Blue expects from her.

"Will you be okay with it," he asked, now looking into her eyes. Despite how nervous she felt, she nodded, her mind telling her that everything will be okay. She needed to gather as much courage as she could and try on her own. She was usually the uncertain one, the one that was a little afraid to try new things no matter how much she wanted to learn about it. Blue always encouraged her, pushing Leaf to take action and chances. And she had to show him that she didn't always need his help to take risks. She did explore the land of Kanto, which in itself was a huge risk.

At her nod, he smirked, obviously very pleased with her answer. He guided her right hand, which he still held by the wrist, down his body, stopping right over the zipper of his pants. Leaf felt her face blush, her heart beating rapidly out of both anxiety and excitement.

"Touch me," he ordered, kissing just below her jaw.

"You're going to have to let go of me first," she said playfully, doing her best to keep her voice even.

He released his hold on her wrists, and she took the opportunity to push him away gently into a sitting position, his legs over the edge of the bed. She sat on his left leg, which was between hers, and kissed him as a distraction. Her hands, which were on his chest, glided down to his pants, undoing the button and pulling down the zipper. She pulled away from the kiss, looking down to see what she was doing. She also really wanted to see how he looked like there. Leaf reached into his black boxers, delicately grabbing and pulling out the source of her curiosity.

It wasn't the first time she saw a penis thanks to pornography and pictures in books, but there was a huge difference between seeing one in videos and photos and seeing one in with your own eyes. However, seeing Blue's brought a pleasant surprise to her. From the look of it, he seemed to be about seven inches.

"You like what you see, don't you," she heard Blue ask, picking up the conceit in his voice. She looked back up at him, trying not to blush but failing miserably. Sometimes, she wished he could be more modest, but that self-confidence of his is what she's always admired the most about him, fearlessly doing what he wants without a second thought. One tends to envy and want what one can't have. But, compared to how she was before meeting Blue for the first time to now, she had far more confidence. Not as much as him, but it was something.

As Leaf stared into his brown eyes, she could see the challenge in them, daring her to continue. She gripped him gently, her left hand moving up and down along the length of his penis. He suddenly closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. She had to admit that she was very amused of this effect on her former rival… Not to mention herself. She was feeling a light burning sensation in her own private area, and she knew that she was aroused, the exact same feeling she felt whenever she saw those videos on her computer. She couldn't help it either, not with the way he'd gasp, trying not to moan, how flushed his face was, which she found to be irresistible, and the growing erection in her hand.

Blue moved his left leg slightly, and that was enough to create some friction between her underwear and his pants. She gasped, quickly covering her mouth with her right hand. However, he opened his eyes to look at her, obvious that he heard the sound she made. He pulled her hand away from her mouth and leaned close to her face to kiss her. It was an open-mouth kiss, but Leaf didn't mind because they've kissed like that many times before. Through the kiss, she could feel some of his low moans, which added to her frustrating arousal. His right hand was on her hip, but the other was under her dress and stroking her thigh. She shivered as his hand moved further up, making her stand on her knees. His hand rested right between her legs, over her white and blue striped panties.

He didn't even wait for her permission—she would have allowed him, anyway, in her clouded mind—to start touching her, his fingers stroking outside her underwear as she continued to do the same for him. Leaf rested her head between his neck and shoulder, trembling at his touch. She kissed his neck, trying not to moan even though they were alone in the house. He moved her underwear to the side so he could touch her without anything in the way. She couldn't contain the moan that escaped her mouth when he rubbed at a very sensitive spot—her clit. How did he know to touch her there? She figured he must have done his fair share of research behind her back.

She moved her right arm so that she was half-hugging him, leaning against him for support. She jerked him a little faster, causing him to growl. Her moans were like gasps, but with far more fire.

"Oh, Blue," she moaned into his neck, the first words spoken since this started. At hearing his name, he turned his head a bit to kiss her hair. Leaf could feel the pleasure he was giving her steadily grow, making her eyes water at the intensity. This was very different from watching those videos, mainly because she wasn't the one touching herself. She did masturbate occasionally to help her deal with the sexual frustration she had for Blue. It was a safer alternative than having sex. But, it didn't compare to the feeling she felt now knowing that it was him pleasuring her.

Her body trembled, having reached the peak of that pleasure. For a moment, she was breathless, until she moaned loudly, her right hand clenching at the back of his shirt. She could feel part of her underwear get damp, and he brought his hand away, partially hugging her now. After that great high began to settle, she was breathing heavily, her heart pounding from the excitement. Her right hand released Blue's shirt, her fingers lightly tracing over where his spine was. She felt him shudder and then felt what seemed to be liquid on her left hand. He groaned as she began to slow her movements on him, looking down to see what had happened. There was a trail of white coming from the tip of his penis. It had dripped over her hand, some of it on his pants and boxers. She looked up at him, both of them panting and with flushed faces. They could see the more-than-happy look in each other's eyes, appreciative that they felt something so great together. She managed a smile, leaning forward and kissing him, his arms now around her in an embrace.

"Blue! Leaf! I'm home," yelled an all-too-familiar voice from downstairs. It was Daisy. They froze in place for a second before they scrambled off the bed.

"What do I use to clean my hand," whispered Leaf, looking around for anything.

"Just use one of my dirty shirts in the laundry basket," he told her, fixing his boxers and pants. "I have to go to the bathroom to clean up."

He quickly, but quietly, walked out of his room, heading to the bathroom. Leaf ran to his closet and grabbed the first shirt she saw in the basket that was there. After cleaning and calming herself, she left the room and went downstairs to welcome Daisy from volunteering at Viridian's Pokémon Center. It was to buy some time for Blue. After five minutes of conversing, Blue came downstairs, looking the way he normally did. However, when his eyes met Leaf's, they both blushed, thinking of what happened a couple minutes ago.

Leaf realized she was staring at the tiles of the bathroom, water from the showerhead hitting her back. She picked up a little towel and scrubbed a bar of soap against it, creating some foam. She then began to clean her body with it, starting with her neck. After that day, she felt closer to Blue. It was, after all, the most intimate moment they've shared, and it wasn't the last. They experimented when they could after that, usually at night in the comfort of either of their beds. Of course, they had to be as quiet as they could be lest they wake up Leaf's mom, Professor Oak, or Daisy, depending on where they were sleeping at. Even so, it wasn't every night they were together, or whenever they could have some time together. Sometimes, Leaf loved nothing more than to sleep in his arms, and she definitely enjoyed doing other things with him, like ride their bikes down Cycling Road, have an occasional Pokémon battle, or aimlessly walk around Pallet Town just talking about whatever came to mind.

When Blue came over to her house earlier today, she was just watching a movie in her room, and he watched it with her, sitting side-by-side on the rug in front of the TV. She was wearing a pale blue shirt with a low-cut collar and denim capris while he was wearing a dark green shirt with blue pants. The movie itself was about a group of robbers who wanted to rob a bank and make off with as much money as possible without getting caught by the police. By the end of the movie, they, surprisingly, were able to do just that, which impressed Leaf because the plan they used was logically sound. After the ending credits, he held her hand in his, a serious look in his eyes.

"Leaf, I found an apartment in Viridian," he said calmly.

"You did," she asked, slightly tilting her head. "Are you moving out of Pallet?"

"Yeah, it'll make things a little easier for me because of the gym."

Leaf nodded, understanding what he was explaining. Certainly, it was best to live close to where you work. Viridian wasn't too far away either, so she could easily walk over there to visit him instead of having her Pidgeot fly her there.

"Will you move in with me," he suddenly asked, catching her by surprise.

"A-are you serious," she asked, her mind not quite comprehending what he said.

"What? You think I'm just asking you because it'll be funny to tell you it was a joke? How cruel do you think I am?"

"You surprise me sometimes."

He raised an eyebrow at her, and she smiled and laughed. She loved to tease him just like how he loved to tease her. She brought her face close to his, kissing him gently on the lips. When she pulled away, there was a light blush on her face.

"I'm pretty damn sure that means 'yes,'" said Blue, a grin on his face. Leaf just smiled in response, giving a small nod. He suddenly pulled her close to him, crashing his lips against hers. At first, the kisses were small and sweet but became more passionate and intense. Leaf wasn't sure how, exactly, that happened. All she knew was that they ended up in her bed, his body over hers as their hands began to explore each other. Their last sexual encounter was about a week ago, so he was hungry for physical ecstasy. He dominantly kissed her neck, occasionally biting at the sensitive skin. Her hands were under his shirt, feeling his chest and back. From all their nightly experiments, she found out that it was turn-on for him whenever she touched his back, and both she and Blue discovered she liked to have her legs touched. She'll admit that they were a little odd to have such erogenous areas, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

She tugged his shirt up, causing him to stop kissing and help her take it off. He eyed her shirt mischievously, lowering himself and taking the bottom of the shirt in his teeth. As he pulled it up, his hands immediately grabbed and squeezed at her breasts, which were covered by her white bra. Leaf was blushing madly at this display, watching as he let go of her shirt when it was above her breasts. He stared at her chest for a moment, most likely out of admiration and desire. Leaf couldn't understand why he always did that whenever they undressed. He made it seem like it was the first time he's laid eyes on her boobs.

"You like what you see," she asked, unable to hold back her smirk. She tapped at the silver pendant of his necklace, which dangled right over her body. Blue looked up at her and smirked back at her.

"No, I love what I see," he replied, placing a kiss above her cleavage line. "You should be proud to have perfect handfuls."

She pulled off her shirt, tossing it to the floor next to Blue's shirt, a little embarrassed by his comment. She lightly pulled at his necklace, urging him to lower himself. When he did, she kissed him again, her left hand on his back while her right was feeling his chest and stomach. He was nicely toned, probably to enhance his appearance and therefore boost his ego. She wouldn't have cared, but it was a bonus that he took care of himself. Her hands then moved lower to the button of his pants and undid it. Blue smirked into the kiss, his right hand easily undoing the button of her capris with just his thumb and forefinger. Even in bed, he had to one-up her.

She slid out of her capris a bit, which made it easy for him to slide his hand down her underwear. He didn't waste any time rubbing her clit, which made her gasp loudly and break the kiss. He began to suck at her neck and shoulder as she moaned at his touch. Despite that it was a pleasurable action, somewhere in Leaf's mind, she was bored of doing this. Mutual masturbation was one of two things that benefited the both of them. Cunnilingus was out of the question because Blue didn't find much pleasure (for himself) in that. If it were fellatio, he was more than happy to let Leaf go through with it. They did try the "69 position" and that made things a little more exciting for them. Even so, she wanted something different. She wanted…

"Blue, more," she moaned, grabbing his hand to make him stop.

"What," he asked, pulling his hand out from her underwear. He stopped sucking at her neck, getting up so that he was face-to-face with her.

"I want more," she said, panting a little. "Please, I want you."

"Are you sure? Didn't you want to wait—"

"Blue," she said sternly, growing more frustrated by the second. "Now. I want it now."

In her mind clouded by carnal desire, her plan of waiting until marriage went flying out the window. The simple need for her boyfriend made using logic and reason impossible. Blue stared at her for a few seconds before he sat up, reaching into the back pocket of his pants. He pulled out a square-shaped packet, which Leaf recognized as a condom. She gave him a questionable look, silently asking him why he had that in the first place.

"Sex Ed. class," he told her, catching her look. "The teacher was giving them out for free, so I got one. It's still good to use. I only carried it just in case."

Leaf gave a small nod, remembering how her mother refused to let her take the class in high school. She tried to explain to her mother the importance of knowing safe sex, but her mother told her that abstinence was the only way to be safe. Of course, Leaf researched the matter herself since she couldn't take the class. Blue, however, was able to take it.

Blue pulled down his pants and boxers, Leaf taking off the rest of her clothes so that she was ready for what was next. Their clothes were piled on the floor nearby. After Blue put the condom on, she opened her legs to let him position himself, very eager to finally have sex. He placed his hands on her hips, lifting her up so he could enter her easily since he was standing on his knees. She could feel him right at her entrance, slowly going inside. Before she could even form a single thought of doubt or backing out on this decision, he penetrated her in one swift motion.

Now, Leaf always held an ideal of sex, thanks to the many novels she's read. Nonfiction provided facts about sex, but fiction gave her an idea of the emotions and intimacy of the act. The woman was usually shy about sex, very inexperienced or somehow avoiding the topic and knowledge throughout her life. The man was either just as ignorant or knew a little more than her. The time it took for them to have sex was slow and romantic so that both would get more comfortable and accustomed to the other. The woman was, more often than not, a virgin, making sex a little more difficult for her. When the man penetrated her and she cried out, he didn't move, patiently awaiting her signal to continue. Time would be unbearably brutal during that. Then, she gave him her permission, and he'd start moving, always slowly. She'd feel pain at first, but it would blossom into pleasure the longer sex lasted. After however long the author wanted the sex to last, the man and woman would orgasm together and lay together in bed, basking in the afterglow.

Leaf soon realized that both she and Blue were the exception to that rule. For one, they both knew about sex and even partook in some alternatives of it. Second, neither is shy about showing their bodies to the other. Hell, Leaf was bold enough to reveal her body to him for the first time by stripping. She thought that if Blue let her see all of him, then she should step out of her own insecurities and let him see all of her. Why should she hide herself from him when he trusted her enough to not hide from her? Why be inhibited even in private? She found no reason to do or be either.

As for the third point… Blue didn't wait for her okay to start thrusting in her. At the moment when he took her virginity, she cried out in pain, covering her mouth to not allow any other noise to leave her mouth. She watched as he tightly closed his eyes, probably trying to accustom himself being inside her. With his hands on her hips, he pulled out a bit before pushing back inside, creating great pain for her, and repeating his actions. She kept her right hand over her mouth, her cries of pain sounding too much like muffled moans. In her mind, she wanted to scream for him to stop, and yet, the memory of that magazine flashed vividly before her eyes, stopping her from saying anything.

Leaf stared at Blue's face, flushed and obviously enjoying what he was doing, pun unintended. Who knew how much he wanted this? She should try to pull through and give him the satisfaction that he's been waiting for. But dear Arceus, it hurt so much. It felt like he was ripping her apart. She held back her tears, knowing that it would alarm him if he saw her crying. She began to wonder, in the middle of his thrusting, when she'll start feeling the pleasure that those damn books seemed to promise would happen. She turned her head to see the clock on her wall, reading 6:02. It definitely wasn't very long since this started. She tried not to think how long it could last. Blue picked up his pace, Leaf pushing her hand against her mouth forcefully as her left hand clenched at her bed sheets.

"How much longer," her mind screamed, resisting the urge to make her body immediately get away from him. She quickly pushed that thought away, trying her best to find some pleasure in what was happening. That was impossible, especially with how agonizing this pain was. To her dismay, he went faster, and she freed her grip on the sheets to muffle her yell, now using both hands. She heard him groan, and he began to slow down. She pulled her hands away from her mouth, setting them to her sides. He set her down carefully and lay on top of her, panting from the exertion. She was just more than happy that it was finally over.

Leaf noticed that she was scrubbing herself with the small towel roughly, her skin getting red in some areas. She threw it on the floor of the tub, angry that she wasn't feeling the least bit clean. No matter how many times she scrubbed, she felt filthy and disgusting. She turned and shut off the water, sliding the shower curtain and grabbing the towel that was hanging on the rack nearby. When she brought the towel to her face, her anger transformed to sadness, and she cried into the towel. Guilt and shame soon accompanied that sorrow, making her feel like she was the most repulsive person alive.

She stepped out of the tub and dried her body, tears falling down her face. This was not how she imagined she would be like after having sex. In those books—those horrible books full of lies—the woman was always so happy, so fucking happy, that she did "the unspeakable" with her partner. She had no regrets because it was out of love and that automatically made her actions free of consequences. It was nothing like that in real life. Leaf regretted doing what she did, perceiving it as a mistake that should not have happened. And she knew—she damn well knew—that there were consequences for her actions. She was ashamed that she let her hormones and lust get in the way of thinking clearly, making her forget that she was supposed to wait until she was married. She was also beginning to doubt that it would be Blue that she'd marry, which made her feel all the more revolted with herself should she marry someone else.

None of that compared to her betrayal of her mother. Her mother was never worried to leave Leaf and Blue alone in the house. Reason being that she trusted her daughter to not have sex until marriage. Leaf held true to that expectation. She, technically, never had sex with Blue… Until today. Today—a couple of minutes ago to be exact—she betrayed her mother's trust just because she couldn't control herself in the heat of passion. Did it mean that she was a whore? A slut who'd jump at the chance to have sex? Leaf wasn't so sure, but she felt like one, adding to her shame.

Leaf dried her long, brown hair and hung the towel on the rack, wiping her tears away with her hands. She then put on her underwear, now aware of how sore she felt in her private region, and quickly put lotion on her legs and arms, trying not to look at her body too much. With that done, she changed into the black tank-top and purple pajama bottoms she brought with her to the bathroom. She grabbed her hairbrush, which was also on the counter, and brushed her hair and messy bangs. When her hair was detangled, she walked out of the bathroom, unable to look at her reflection any longer. Once out in the hall, she leaned her back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. She was a little afraid to go back to her room, afraid that Blue will see her exactly the way she saw herself. She swallowed her apprehension, slowly walking to her room. She opened her door, peeking in to see if Blue was still nude. To her surprise, he wasn't, already wearing his green shirt and boxers. He was lying in her bed, reading one of her books.

"You took a while," he said, glancing at her. "I was starting to think that you drowned."

"I was spacing out," she explained calmly, stepping inside and shutting the door. "I want to lay down for a bit."

As she walked to her bed, he watched her intently, almost as if he was analyzing her. He set the book down on her nightstand, moving over so she could lie beside him. However, she lied down almost by the edge of the bed, lying on her side so that her back was facing him. She was hoping he'd understand that she didn't want to be near him at the moment, but he ended up getting close to her, his arm over her and his face in her damp hair. He breathed in her scent, his hand over hers.

"So," he began, pride so obvious in his voice. "Was I good?"

"Y-yeah," she replied, biting her tongue to keep herself from crying. She noticed a little too late that she answered with a shaky tone.

"You're lying."

His hand moved from hers and grabbed her arm, turning her around so that she was face-to-face with him. She inwardly shrank at the disapproving look in his eyes, which broke her will to hold back her tears for any longer. She sobbed, covering her face to keep Blue from looking at her as she cried.

"Leaf, why are you crying," he asked, alarmed by the sudden tears.

"I-it hurt, Blue," she gasped in between sobs. "It h-hurt so much!"

"It hurt? Why didn't you tell me that," asked Blue, raising his voice.

"I j-just wanted to make you h-happy."

"You idiot! It doesn't make me happy knowing that I hurt you—" He pulled her hands away from her face, making her look up at him. "That wasn't what I wanted at all."

"But, if I didn't make you happy, you would have left me," she hiccupped, tears staining her cheeks. "It said so in your magazine."

"What magazine?"

"The one under your mattress."

"I… I don't really read those. But that's not the point! Leaf, if all I wanted was sex, I would have left you a long time ago. Did I do that? No, because that isn't what I want."

Leaf looked at him with shock, as if something horrible was revealed to her.

"Did I force you into having sex with me," she asked, more tears coming down.

"No! It was my decision, too."

She looked back down, crying steadily. Blue sighed, pulling her close to him and embracing her.

"Leaf, I always thought that if we ever had sex, it'd be great for the both of us. This isn't what I imagined it would be like."

"M-me either."

He looked down at her, placing a hand on her cheek to wipe her tears, and gently smiled.

"Everything's going to be okay," he assured her. "Stop crying."

"What if my mom finds out?"

"Why does that matter? You're moving in with me, aren't you? Besides, it's not like you can change the past or anything."

"Unless I can time-travel."

"You say weird shit sometimes," he said with a laugh. "One of the things I love about you."

Leaf smiled, hugging him while leaning her head against his chest.

"I love you, too," she said happily.

"It'll be different next time," he told her, kissing the top of her head. "I promise."

Though Leaf was disappointed that things didn't turn out as they did in both her mind and the novels she's read, she was fine with that. She had a great guy who loved her even when she felt lower than dirt. Her mother will most definitely be angry that she's had sex already, but what can she do? Things will probably be strained between them, but Leaf will have Blue to help her through. It's like what Blue said, she couldn't change the past, and so she might as well accept what's happened tonight.

Leaf still believed that having sex tonight was a mistake, but… it'll be a memory for her. A memory that she'll share with Blue. Even if he wasn't the one she'll spend forever with, she highly doubted she'll ever forget tonight. After all, how can you forget the first time of anything?

A/N: Not too long ago, I reviewed (and fell in love with) a story called "These Words" by Cherrie S. xx. She replied back to ALL of my reviews, and somewhere in the middle of the messages, we made a deal to write smut on Conflictingshipping. I'm not sure if this story counts as smut or if I should even be writing it. I guess this can be considered canon to my "Critical Hit" stories since Leaf's personality is the same as in the series. Just to clear things up, Leaf and Blue are seventeen in this story. I might add a second chapter, but, um... I need some feedback. Seriously, I have no idea if I'm good at this or not because it's the first "smutty" story I've ever written.