A/N: Because the world needs more crack.

I wish.

This is a series of KHR crack drabbles. Pairings you'll find here will include: 1869, 2759, DS(in the next chappie that's already been written out), DaemonElena.

And might include: GiottoG, 10069.

Pairings in this drabble: 1869.

Why Hibari Decided to Cut Off Mukuro's Hair

At the first glance, there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.

In fact, if you caught Hibari in one of his rare tender moments, you might have gotten him to admit what was right about it. And a tonfa to the face shortly thereafter, but that comes as a complimentary when you ask Hibari anything about the indigho-haired illusionist. Especially questions that directly stated or indirectly implied if he was banging the other.

And God, were there things right with it. There were so many things right with it that Hibari couldn't even think about them without his breath hitching and blood rushing to certain parts of him.

...I was talking about his cheeks. Get your mind out of the gutter, pervert.

For example, how it felt so right and soft between his fingers on the (daily , but Hibari refused to admit that to himself) occasions where he slipped in the other male's room while Mukuro was sleeping, silently stroking his hair and standing guard in case the sleeping male had one of the nightmares that plagued him every so often, and which he never told anyone about, but Hibari knew all about all the same.

Of course, he always took care to leave before the other woke up.

And how perfect and just right it felt clutched between his fingers when they kissed.

And how right it was to drag his slender fingers through when the illusionist was on his knees, soft mouth enveloping him-

Damn. He did not need to get hard right now! People were still up and about, and he refused to let anyone see him with his mortal enemy.

That, and the fact that the pineapple wasn't talking to him. Due to, you know, the whole thing about him charging into the other's room, grabbing his ponytail and slicing it off.

With the spikes on his tonfas.

Ouch.

But it really wasn't his fault!

He just couldn't stand it when he saw Byakuran doing ... that.

"Mukuro-kun~ What a nice surprise meeting you~ I missed you, you were such an interesting person~"

Everyone stared. Mukuro twitched.

"Kufufu, so then I take it you make a habit of killing people who are interesting to you?" he paused for a moment, before smiling widely. "Oh, I mean trying to kill."

"D-don't start this, you two." Tsuna squeaked, reverting to his dame-Tsuna personality.

"Only sometimes~ When they are as threatening as you~" Byakuran smiled back, all marshmallows and happiness.

Mukuro's eyebrow stopped twitching and his smile became a tad less venomous. Notice the emphasis on the tad. Not that he was particularly hateful towards the Gesso, it was just that he was hateful towards pretty much the whole human race.

"You are an entertaining person yourself."

The white-haired Gesso laughed.

"Mukuro-kun's hair sure is shorter than I remember it. I almost didn't recognise you from the back~~"

That wasn't what aggravated Hibari.

What annoyed him was that Mukuro had started growing it out after that.

(Though in all honesty, Mukuro had been growing it out from way before then. But you know what they say, jealousy -cough, love is blind.)

And it had seemed to him that Byakuran had started visiting more and more after that little incident.

( Well, what would you expect? He was forming an alliance with the Vongola. Not that Hibari could be bothered about taking such things in consideration when he felt his lov - mortal enemy, was being threatened by someone other than him, even if any half-witted person could tell it was completely baseless.)

So after the fifth visit in the month, he decided on the above-mentioned course of action,

Charging in Mukuro's room and ...

Hibari groaned inwardly as he remembered the mess, a teary-eyed Mukuro ( almost, because Rokudou Mukuro did not cry, damn it, not even over spilt blood - err, cut hair.) screaming things in Italian, Japanese, English, and a bunch of other languages - some of which sounded like they belonged to a civilisation older than Mukuro had any right to know about - and spewing curses left and right as Chrome and M.M. cradled him in their arms ( 'Too close.' Hibari's mind growled not too helpfully.) and Chikusa and Gokduera holding back Ken from attacking him, the silverette telling him what a big idiot he was, also in Japanese and Italian (What was it with bilingualism?).

"Kyo-san? Are you alright?"

I would be fine if I had had any hopes left of ever getting laid again.

A/N: How was it? I know, lame ending, lame fic. But it sounded so funny in my head... (its a weird place in there, lol.)

Review? Pwease? -stares with puppy eyes-

Mukuro- Bani~ you did what to my hair?

Hibari: I liked his hair that way, herbivore. Also, I'm not getting laid?

Me: -gulps- Ermmmm...

M.M.: -comes charging in- YOU DID WHAT TO MY MUKURO-CHAN YOU -censored-

Chrome: S-sorry, but I'm afraid I'll have to punish you, Bani-chan.

Me: C-chrome? Just tell Hibari to bite me to death~3 3

Hibari: Gladly, herbivore.

Me: Literally *_*

Mukuro: ...Oya, what kind of a sick fetish is that?

Everyone else: -sweat drops-

Hibari: -proceeds to beat her up anyway-

If you want to see a pairing, tell me so. These are just short drabbles, so I'm willing to do pretty much all pairings - crack, rare pairings, pairings I don't usually do ... only no uke!Tsuna. I can't write an uke!Tsuna. He always turns into the HDW! or Boss!Tsuna somehow otlotlotlotl.

A-anyway, review?