Disclaimer: The characters of CSI:NY do not belong to me however this story is of my own and should only be used after permission has been asked and given. No copyright infringement intended and no profit is being made.

Summary: Danny and Lindsay are going to learn that sometimes you must lose, in order to gain.

Notes: Well, you've probably heard this a fair too many times from me but I have to, once again, apologise for the delay in updates. I know that five months is a heck of a long time so if anyone is still reading this then thank you so, so, so much for your patience. As much as I'd love to be a professional writer, this is – somewhat unfortunately – a hobby for me which I know can be frustrating for readers when they want the next instalment and it just isn't coming but it's equally as frustrating for me when my hobby just won't cooperate. I'm currently in my third year at university and am so very close to finishing (what?! I mean…how?! What happened to being twelve years old and writing my first, very clumsy, fanfiction?!) that I want to cry from elation, trepidation, exhaustion, and any of those other 'tion' words which relate to this feeling. If I'm honest I need a little boost, a little pick me up, so I finally finished this chapter which has been oh-so-nearly-but-not-quite done for a while now; usually I like to write seven pages for a substantial chapter but my rustiness just wasn't creating a flow therefore it is shorter than usual. This wasn't easy getting back into but I've tried, at least, to ease myself back in but, having said that, I can't promise anything. To be honest with you, I just miss DL too damn much so I needed some kind of fix. But enough of the diary entry, let's get on with the show, eh?

The Parent's Apple

The child's bedroom was illuminated by a wallflower nightlight which cast its rosy glow across the room, falling over Lucy Messer as she slept with one arm clutching a stuffed snow leopard which her parents had purchased to protect her from the vampires who could be lurking in the darkest corners of her room. Danny stood in the doorway, observing the three year old. After a long and gruelling eighteen hour shift, followed by a quick burger in a twenty four hours diner with Flack, he was thankful to finally be home. The plan had been to quickly check on Lucy before heading to his own bed but he'd found peace in watching her sleep. His body slowly and noticeably relaxing as his bunched muscles eased and the frown lines marring his face softened. Pulling the door almost all the way shut, he retreated to the bedroom he shared with his wife, finding an image as comforting as that of his daughter sleeping.

The bedside lamp was switched on with Lindsay lying on her side, hair fanned out on the pillow as she curled into the comforter with a book open in front of her. As a youngster he'd never seen the appeal in domesticity however it was the simpler things in life that he now found pleasure in: Lucy's final kiss before bedtime, Lindsay kneading moisturiser into her callused hands, free Sunday mornings spent in bed reading the paper with a pyjama clad Lucy settled between them, coffee made to his own unique specificity, and, most importantly of all, the way his girls told him they loved him with complete certainty.

He crossed the room in a few easy strides, Lindsay barely noticing as she was absorbed in her book, and crawled across the bed to press a kiss to her pyjama clothed shoulder. She looked up and noticed him for the first time, a sleepy, crumple faced smile greeting him and causing a knot to tighten in his abdomen.

"Hey," she intoned.

"Hey." He lent forwards and pressed an insistent kiss to her mouth. One hand pushed the book out of her hand and towards the edge of the bed where it toppled to the floor with a dull thud.

"I was reading that," she protested weakly.

"Read it later." His mouth slanted more persistently across hers, his tongue seeking entrance which, after some light teasing, she granted him. Wrapping an arm around his neck, she pulled him flush against her body, feeling his heat even through the layers of clothing and bed sheets. He trailed kisses to her ear, his stubble scratching the soft skin of her cheek before catching her lobe between his teeth. A soft sigh escaped her and it was a blessed sound to her husband. Lindsay's free hand fumbled along the bedside cabinet until she found the switch for the lamp which she pulled, plunging them both into darkness with a click.

The hum of the refrigerator was the only sound to break through the still apartment as the clock crept closer to three o'clock in the morning. A car backfired in the street below and Hendrix woke with a quick growl, instantly alert. The Great Dane puppy flicked his head back and forth before determining that there was no imminent threat and instead gave a long stretch, yawning wide. Climbing out of his dog crate, Hendrix wandered over to his food and water bowl which he lapped at noisily. His ears perked up again as a repetitive tune pierced the silent apartment and he gave a bark, trotting towards the safety gate which he jumped up against, interested in the commotion.

From the master bedroom down the hall, the ringing cell phone cut through Danny and Lindsay's sleep, jerking them both awake. Lindsay snapped the bedside lamp on and picked her phone up, squinting at the caller display with a cobwebbed mind.

"What is it?" Danny groaned throatily.

"My phone," she answered.

"I thought you weren't on call?" he half-asked, half-stated.

"I'm not," she answered before answering the phone and pressing it to her ear. "'Lo?"

Danny dragged himself up from the bed even as exhaustion settled in his body and headed out of the bedroom towards the kitchen, figuring they would need coffee – and a lot of it judging by the yawn which tore through him. Hendrix jumped up and down, barking excitedly as Danny unlatched the safety gate. "Shh," he scolded lightly, "you'll wake Lucy."

To take the sting from his words, he gave Hendrix's head a quick pat on his way towards the kettle which he flicked on, letting the water boil as he spooned coffee granules into two different mugs. A second yawn escaped him and he scrubbed a hand down his face; too many long shifts and not enough sleep were catching up with him. The water bobbed and the kettle clicked off as it finished boiling and Danny poured the steaming liquid into each of the mugs before fixing them to each of their specific tastes; milk and half a spoonful of sugar for Lindsay, black and bitter for him. He gathered the mugs up and carried them out, letting Hendrix follow him back to their bedroom where Lindsay had finished talking on the phone and was sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from him. Hendrix bounded over to her and nudged at her hand with his wet nose, begging to be stroked but she took no notice. Her back was taut with tension.

"I made us some coffee," Danny began quietly, not wanting to startle her.

She turned to face him and he immediately knew something was wrong. Lindsay's face was white and etched with grief.

He set the coffee down on the vanity table and crossed the room to her, sitting down beside her and taking her trembling fingers in his. "You wanna tell me what's goin' on?" he gently requested.

"It's my mom." Lindsay stared down at their entwined hands, the words lodged in her throat. She drew in a shaky breath. "She's had a heart attack. Dad says they were getting ready for bed when she just collapsed. He called an ambulance and they've been at the hospital since, she's apparently unconscious at the moment but the doctors don't know what's going to happen. Dad was waiting until he knew all the facts before ringing…"

Lindsay broke off from the clipped sentences and drew a couple of deep, steady breaths. Danny stroked her back in firm circles. "Is he by himself at the hospital?" he asked.

"No, Jeremy's with him," Lindsay replied, referring to her eldest sibling. She rested her head on his shoulder, sinking into his solidarity. He knew that right now shock and disbelief were keeping her emotions in check but soon reality would cave in on her. "They think it's a blood clot caused by the smoking."

Danny thought back to the argument Lindsay and Kathleen had had whilst her parents visited for Thanksgiving; for years Lindsay had hoped that her mom would give up smoking, he now only wished that it wasn't too late. He liked Kathleen; she'd always treated him like another son and made him feel welcomed into the family despite his and Lindsay's less-than-conventional relationship. Whether meaning to or not, Kathleen had saved his and Lindsay's marriage with her choice words during their separation when they'd been too heartbroken and unsure of themselves after the miscarriage to repair the damage and he therefore felt he owed a huge debt to her.

He glanced down and realised that Lindsay was silently weeping, the tears sliding down her face unchecked. She quietly admitted, "I'm mad at her."

Danny held her tighter. "I know." He kissed her temple reassuringly. "But that doesn't matter right now."

She nodded and sniffed. "I know," she repeated back to him.

"What do you wanna do?" he asked softly.

"I want to go out there," she said without preamble.

Danny nodded. "I thought you'd say that. You drink your coffee and I'm gonna get the laptop." He gave her temple another kiss and squeezed her shoulders to him once more before rising from the bed with purpose and heading to the living room. Her voice caught him in the doorway.

"Danny?"

He half-turned back towards her. "Yeah?"

Lindsay gave him a half smile. "Thanks."

He half-smiled back. "Drink your coffee. I'll be right back."

A/N: So, there we have it. Like I said; rusty, right? I can't promise that the next update will be soon because my writer's block and busy schedule is still holding me down but this was just a little something to let you know that I am still around – very much alive and kicking. If you want to leave a review then thank you! But similarly, I'd love to just hear from any of you for a pick me up; keep this old girl goin', eh? Thanks everyone!