Note from Zee Techie: This was fun! Never written a story where people were drunk and I can say this was fun to do! *grinning*

Dedicated to: Temarcia and n.s.c.m for spawning the idea of drunk minions and the thought of chocolate vodka!

And thanks to all my fellow minion-mods. You guys make this all possible!

Disclaimer: I didn't make it, therefore I don't own it. …don't sue me. ;A;

…

Why did everything seem so far away?

His feet pounded furiously against the ground beneath him as he made his way back to their current home. He was trying so hard to put some distance between him and the enemy chasing him down. Fear had him in a tight grip, one that he found himself unable to escape no matter how hard he ran. The pain was starting to build up in his chest, his lungs were begging for air. His throat was starting to go dry.

'This shit really needs to stop…seriously!' He thought angrily. He veered off the straight path and started leaping over obstacles, junk that had been long abandoned in the wastes, 'I knew I should have participated in gym class!'

…

He had him in his sight.

His finger was set on the trigger and he could have easily pulled it but he didn't. It was better to not try and explain to the Captain how the only minion who knew anything about medicine died. He lowered the gun and chuckled, "Who's laughing now, Gromov?"

"What's so funny, Mr. Snippy?" He turned and looked up. Standing over him was his Commanding Officer, simply called The Captain. He had his mug in hand that was most likely filled with radioactive tea.

"Nothing, Captain…just watching Engie run." Snippy commented as he turned back to watching Gromov through his scope.

"Poor Mr. Engie, he works so hard. Why don't you go and help him." The Captain stated.

"Bwah? He's being chased by mutants! I'm not going out there!" Sniper stated firmly, "I'd rather you make me go on watch without sleep than go out there."

"Snippy…you are zee sniper! You snipe things! Now go and be a good little sniper!" The Captain proclaimed, "Or you'll face my fabulous wrath!"

Nothing the Captain said made sense but he understood "wrath" and walked out from the sanctuary of their base.

…

He hit the ground when he heard gunfire.

The bullets has whizzed right by him, missing his face by a few inches. It scared the life out him. He actually stole a glance behind him and saw that the mutant that had been chasing him was leaking fluids. Staring ahead he saw the shooter perched on a rock, reloading the gun and cocking it.

"Gromov, if you don't want to have a bullet lodged between your eyes…move the hell out of my way." Sniper stated as he aimed the gun. The Engineer wasn't about to argue with the only person capable of saving his ass. He moved quickly and dove behind the rock that his fellow minion stood upon.

The Engineer peered over the rock and saw the mutant was roaring at the marksman. Behind the goggles, amber colored eyes looked up at Sniper. Despite his facial gear covering what was beneath Alexander could feel the deadly concentration emitting off the man. The gun fired in rapid succession, each new bullet took three seconds to reload. Five bullets were fired and each one hit their target.

'Is that…a new gun? Where the fuck did he find a new gun?' The Engineer thought, 'And why…does he look so…NO! I'm not thinking about that low life like that! I'M NOT SOME SCHOOL GIRL!'

He looked over and saw the thing fall dead. His eyes widened in shock, daring to steal another look at the marksman. He found those blue lenses staring back at him, "You alright there, Gromov? Didn't wet yourself did you?"

He had to register the words being said to him before he felt his face getting hot. He rose to his feet and dusted himself off, "I'm fine. I should thank you but without me you all would be dead within the week."

Sniper jumped down from his rock and started walking back towards the base, Engie not far behind him.

…

The night had finally come.

Alexander found himself wide awake. It wasn't that he was scared from today's events, oh no. Between Pilot's snoring and Captain's sleep talking it was hard to get a decent rest. He couldn't blame the marksman for being on watch tonight. He glanced out and saw the aforementioned minion sitting on the remnants of a chair, rifle in hand.

He found out today it was a new gun.

When the engineer questioned it during their trek back to base he discovered it was not just any gun, but one hell of a fire arm. How Charles ever got his hands on an Anti-Material Rifle was beyond him but he handled the weapon with such finesse that would be the envy of any soldier, 'Seriously? I'm thinking about Charles with a gun…how is that hot! That should be frightening! That's a powerful firearm that could shoot through buildings! Or me…'

He shook his head and rose to his feet, walking over to a corner near the far end of the building. There was a cooler with his name on it. He opened it and grabbed one of the contents within. It was a never opened bottle of Chocolate Vodka, "We finally meet…"

He cracked it open, pulled off his gas mask and took a big swig.

It was smooth going down and he enjoyed the taste. These things cost nearly half his paycheck since alcohol had been copyrighted by the Good Directorate. Every other week he'd buy a bottle and store it, saving it for a special occasion or when it was 'one of those days'. Picking up the cooler he walked outside, taking sips from his bottle. The marksman turned and looked him, "Bwah! Are you drinking? Where the hell did you get alcohol that wasn't touched by the radiation!"

"Been saving these ever since before the fallout, have one if you want." Engie said as he took a seat on the ground, taking another long swig, "I promise they aren't poisoned. This stuff is too good to even taint."

The marksman still looked a bit wary but grabbed a bottle, pulled off his facial gear and cracked it open. He took a testing sip. Chocolate flooded his taste buds and while it did burn going down, it felt so good. Giving in he took a chug and let out a relieving sigh, "That…that's good. How the fuck did you afford this? I could barely afford cheap coffee."

"Remember, I made more than you." The Engineer stated with a smile as he finished off his bottle. Tossing it aside he grabbed another one. Sniper took another swig.

A few more bottles later…

"Feeling lightheaded yet?" Engie asked as he tossed aside his fourth bottle.

"No, just trying to get over the fact that I got to taste alcohol again before I die." Sniper slurred a bit as he took the last swig of his third, "With the Captain running this fucked up army, I'll probably die soon. He always sends me on these freak assignments that put my life on the line and for what? A rant about insubordination and not getting it done fast enough?"

Engie stared at him, almost feeling bad. Out of them all, he did do the most work and was the one that was being patched up at the end of the day. He took another sip, "I…thank you."

"For what? I didn't do anything, remember? Without you we'd all be dead within the week." Sniper remarked a little harshly.

"Listen, Snippy…Charles. I was…I was wrong when I said that." Engie said as he stared at the ground, "I mean, yeah I know more about medicine than all of you but…you're the one who saves our asses. You protect us and…you don't get thanked enough."

The marksman snorted, "So, you're admitting you're wrong for once. That's a new one, Gromov. What's next? Going to say that you're not as smart as you let on?"

Alexander remained silent, sensing the bitterness in Sniper's voice. He didn't know what to say to make things right, 'Why should I care? We've never gotten along anyway. Probably never will…'

Sniper stole a glance down at Alex, noting the slight sadness in those amber irises. He felt the guilt begin to settle on his shoulder. He was never going to live this down. With a sigh he dropped onto the ground next to his ex-supervisor, "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have snapped at you. It's the alcohol…"

Engie nodded his head, "You're a lightweight."

"And you're a cute drunk."

Both stopped breathing.

Sniper couldn't believe he just said those words and Alex was trying to make sense of them. Amber and blue irises connected briefly, "I…you know what? No more alcohol."

"Yeah…" Alex muttered in agreement, "Should we…head inside?"

"I'm on watch but you can if you want." Sniper responded quickly. Neither of them ended up moving. As the night progressed it got colder. The wind actually started blowing causing Engie to shudder and try to huddle further into his jacket.

This didn't go unnoticed.

Whether it was the alcohol or because he felt bad he wrapped an arm around the engineer and pulled him in close. Alex was about to protest but something made him stop. The scent of gun smoke and chocolate coming off Charles, it was…intoxicating. He felt his face become hot and buried it in the marksman's jacket, hoping to hide the obvious blush.

"You alright, Alex?" Sniper asked.

"'M fine…" Engie replied. Charles set the gun down and reached over, lifting Alex's face so their eyes connected. He saw the tint of pink on Engie's cheeks and smiled.

"You're even cuter when you're blushing." Sniper whispered. Alex almost yelled at him to stop calling him that but he never got the chance. There was a pair of lips upon his, ceasing his verbiage. He could taste the chocolate and booze, the smell of gun smoke became more potent.

'I…I'm…what…?' His thoughts couldn't make heads or tails of anything. It slowly began to shut down, allowing his body to have complete control. He relaxed into the kiss, allowing the marksman to the lead.

Sniper shifted to his knees. One arm was wrapped around the Engineer's waist and the other cupped the side of his face. Alex's arms made their way around Charles' neck, clutching onto his back. The marksman put a little more pressure into the kiss, pushing against Alex until they hit the ground. Somewhere in the middle Charles' gloves came off, being tossed to the side. They snaked beneath the thick, fur jacket then under the shirt beneath. The Engineer's breath hitched in his throat at the contact but didn't protest.

…

The next morning the Captain and Pilot were standing over them, "Captain, I think the jiggly slug hurt Engie!"

"We will wake zem soon! Let's get breakfast, I know where Engie keeps his food stash." The Captain responded as he started walking away. Pilot hesitated for a moment before following his Commanding Officer.

Back on the ground Engie snuggled closer to Snippy, a smile on his face.

…

End Note from Zee Techie: I'm…so sorry. That was horrible! But I wanted to get it finished and…yeah. *looks ashamed* Sometime in the future this will be revisited and revised. ;A; Please don't kill me right now…