Hello,

I'm excited to be posting this new fanfic. I had some nice ideas for a Santana/Brittany fanfic, but I wasn't sure which one to pick so then I thought: why not mix them together?

I hope you will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing about the two of them. I can say that this fanfic will be slightly angsty, but I hope you guys can appreciate it.

Please feel free to leave me a review to let me know what you think of this start.

The Wonders Of Our Lives

Chapter 1

I heard a small knock on my door as I lay on my bed staring at the pale ceiling. "Mija, open the door. I need to talk to you." My mother's voice sounded from the other side of my locked bedroom door.

I continued staring at the ceiling, hoping my mother would just leave me alone if I didn't answer her.

After a moment of silence I heard another voice in the hallway. The deeper voice belonged to my father. He sharply whispered something to my mother, his voice sounding angry. Words that I couldn't decipher. I heard my mother's calm voice assuring him, sending him back downstairs. He grumbled something before I heard his footsteps on the staircase. I followed his steps in my head until they were too far away for me to hear.

I knew my mother was still on the other side of the door, eventhough she didn't make a sound for what seemed like at least ten minutes. I let out a brief sigh before I pulled myself up from the bed and made my way over to the door. When I had unlocked it, I walked back to my bed, sitting down on the edge.

My mother calmly opened the door when she heard it unlock and sat down next to me in silence. She brushed her hands over her plain, dark skirt to straighten it. She cleared her throat but she didn't say anything.

I folded my hands in my lap as I let my eyes wander through my dark room. The usual neat room now looked messy. It wasn't a surprise. I had been practically living in my room ever since...

I swallowed my thoughts just as quickly as they came to mind. It was something that I had learned to do over the past couple of weeks. Thinking about it – about her hurt too much.

I could feel my mother's eyes on me. I knew she was worried about me. I didn't want her to worry. I was trying very hard to hide my feelings from the people around me, but I couldn't pretend to be happy. I couldn't sit down and eat dinner with my parents pretending there was nothing wrong. I was doing a good job hiding my pain away. Hiding it in my room, that is.

I felt exposed sitting on my bed with my mother. This room had so many memories. Memories about her. Memories that brought all of my feelings with them. But that was it – they were only memories now. Memories that would eventually fade away.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I felt the familiar sting forming in my eyes. No. I couldn't cry anymore. I had been crying for too long. I wasn't going to break down in front of my mother.

My mother shifted in her seat, facing me. "Cariño," she started. I waited for her to continue. I thought she would try to say something to soothe me or cheer me up, but when she didn't continue, I figured she knew that no words could make me feel better at that moment.

She reached forward and placed her hand on my arm. She squeezed it gently, assuringly, and somehow it made me feel slightly better. I turned my head to look at her face, searching for more assurance. Assurance that I needed now more than ever, eventhough I knew it wouldn't change anything about the situation.

Her face was solemn. She seemed to have aged many years over the last couple of weeks. Her wrinkles were deeper and more visible, and her eyes looked tired. Ever since... Ever since a certain blonde stopped visiting the Lopez' house.

"Cariño, your father and I are worried about you." She hesitated when I looked away, my eyes tracing over a picture on my nightstand that I had looked at many times in the previous weeks. It was a picture of the two of us. Her blue eyes sparkled as she rested her head in my lap, showing her white teeth in a wide, dazzling smile. "Your school called today," she changed the subject, though not entirely, "Mr. Schuester told us he missed you in Glee this whole week."

Of course I hadn't attended the Glee meetings this week. I wouldn't be able to deal with all the looks of sympathy. I didn't think I could see that four eyed loser without ripping his head off. This was all his fault. He was lucky that he was still alive at this point. Alive...

Suddenly tears sprang into my eyes. I couldn't hold them back any longer. I couldn't wipe them away to hide them from my mother. I just sat there, unable to move any of my limbs as the tears streamed down my cheeks.

My mother swiftly took me in her arms and rocked us back and forth like she always did whenever she tried to make me feel better. "Mija, Santana." She kept on whispering in my ear with her slightly Spanish accent.

I touched the charm bracelet that resembled the friendship Brittany and I had. My body started shaking uncontrolably, and I couldn't stop myself from breaking down into huge sobs.

"I can't live without her, mamá." I cried. I cried more than I had ever cried in my life. I hadn't cried in front of my parents for a long time, but now that I did, I let all those years of frustration, hurt and sadness out.

My mother continued rocking as she caressed the back of my head, holding me against her chest while I shook.

"Why don't you go visit her–" She started, but I silenced her by swiftly leaning out of her embrace.

"I can't!" I said, louder than I intended. I didn't want to yell at my mother, but I couldn't stop myself at that point.

"Why can't you? You two used to be so close. I don't underst–" Again, I silenced her.

I hopped off the bed in frustration. My mother didn't know why I couldn't go. She didn't know how much I cared about her. How much I loved her. She didn't know about my love confession. She didn't know that she meant more than just a best friend to me.

She also didn't know that she had turned her down for the boy that had caused this all.

"I just can't. It hurts too much." I said, pleading my mother to just drop this painful subject. Of course she didn't.

"Why don't you go with your friends?" Her mother asked, cocking her head to the side.

I scoffed through my tears. None of those kids were really my friends.

"What about Quinn?" Quinn wasn't my friend. She and I had been close at one point, but it had more been like a competitive friendship. We always tried to be better than the other and somehow she always seemed to win. She had been captain of the Cheerios, she slept with Puck, she dated the most popular guy in school, and everybody liked her more than they liked me. Everyone except for that one blonde girl. That girl that had won over her heart so many years ago.

"Or that boy Sam? Are you still dating him?" Her mother continued when she saw the look my face when she mentioned Quinn.

Sam. Funny story. I had only started dating him because he was with Quinn. It was another part of our competitiveness. Quinn had Sam, so I wanted to take him from her, and that's exactly what I did. I had stopped seeing him as soon as I finally admitted my feelings for her though.

"Why don't you go with that nice boy Artie?" She softly said.

I whipped my head around, sending tears around my room. I could feel the anger rise up in me at the mention of his name.

"Why the fuck would I go with Artie?" I spit out his name is disgustment. I was furious.

"Because he is her boyfriend. I'm sure this is just as hard as it is for him as it is for you. Maybe even harder. He loves her." She explained calmly.

I don't know what pissed me off more: her calm voice or her ignorance. She really had no idea how I felt about her. I had loved her ever since we had become friends. She meant everything to me. Artie was the person that had ruined everything. It was his fault that she didn't want to be with me. And it was his fault that she...

"You have no fucking idea how damn hard this is for me. This whole thing is his fault! He deserves to die. I want him to die!" I cried furiously. I desperately gasped for air. I felt like I was drowning in my fury and tears.

"You don't mean that. It was an accident." My mother said in that same calm voice. She stood up and pulled me into her arms. I didn't want to be held by her. I didn't want her to comfort me if she was so damn clueless about all of this. I fought her embrace. I smacked against her chest with my furious fists, but she didn't let go of me.

Finally I gave in. I stopped my struggle and let myself cry like a child against my mother's shoulder. She held me tightly and after a while, I could feel her body starting to shake against mine.

There we stood. In the middle of my messy bedroom that was filled with memories of the blonde and me together. We held eachother together in our tight embraces, her more than me.

Mourning over the girl that I loved more than life itself.

I felt a warm, strong hand on my shoulder. A hand that I knew belonged to my father. I slowly pulled my head off of my mother's shoulder and turned to face him. He had a urgent look on his face as he looked me intentionally in the eye. It made heart speed up in fear.

"Brittany's parents just called," He began softly. I could feel my heart tear when he mentioned her name. They hadn't mentioned her name all week. I had made sure that they shouldn't mention her name in my presence, but somehow this time was different. This time it was urgent.

"Brittany is awake." He finally said, a gentle smile washing over his face.

And with those three simple words, everything suddenly changed. It was as if the sun started shining again after it had been down for a full week. It was as if my heart started beating again after I heard the news of Brittany's accident.

The world started spinning again now that Brittany was awake.

Please leave a review and let me know what you think.