A/N: I wrote this at the request of someone on my tumblr. I wasn't originally planning on posting it, but I ended up really liking it :P
Crash Landing
The Planet Express ship came skidding to a halt in the middle of the desert. There were scratches all along the left side of the ship, digging deep into the hull. Billows of black smoke seeped out of the engine and little golden sparks shot in all directions and landed in the dirt.
"Typical. Your only job is to drive the bloody ship, Merlin. We'll be lucky if it even gets off the ground again," Arthur said as he looked out the window, flailing his arms. "In the middle of the desert, too."
Merlin sighed and leaned his forehead against the steering wheel. "Oh, I'm sorry, next time we run into an uncharted asteroid field, I'll let you drive."
Arthur turned back to glare at him, but Merlin wasn't paying attention. The door to the bridge slid open and Morgana appeared, leaning lazily against the doorframe. "What the hell. Did we crash? Merlin, did you crash the ship?"
Merlin kept his head on the wheel and mumbled something that sounded like, "Not my fault."
Arthur pointed at Merlin, then held up his hands. "All him. I didn't touch anything."
Morgana sighed. "Oh well." She reached behind the door frame and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Cracking it, she added, "So where are we, anyway?"
Arthur shrugged, but Merlin turned around with an exasperated expression. "We're on the right planet, just…not the right side of the planet."
"Awesome," Morgana said taking a sip of her beer. "I'm going back to bed. But please wake me up when you call to tell Uther the bad news. "I imagine that's going to be hysterical." She stepped back through the door and it slid shut behind her, leaving the bridge very quiet.
Merlin got up and crossed to the window next to Arthur. Peering out the window, he could already tell that some of the damage was extensive. "We're never going to make this delivery on time."
"Probably never going to make it at all," Arthur said, grinning.
Merlin rolled his eyes. "Thanks for your confidence. I need to go inspect the damage. You're coming with me."
"Why?"
"Because I'm probably going to need help," Merlin replied, frustrated.
"You've got that right," Arthur said under his breath, pushing a lock of blond hair out of his eyes. Merlin gave him a withering look as he went over to retrieve the small green toolbox that would probably be of no use in this particular situation.
He opened the hatch and Arthur followed him down the stairs and out into the dusty air. "This really isn't the most pleasant planet."
"What did you expect?" Merlin said wearily as he traced a hand across one of the gouges in the hull. "The place is mostly desert."
"Next time Camelot Prime needs a delivery, I say we ignore them. I don't know what they want with the thing anyway. It keeps trying to eat me."
"That's because you keep sticking your fingers in the cage." Merlin set the toolbox down in the dirt and wandered along the edge of the ship toward the engine. "Brilliant. We damaged the engine in the crash." He glanced at the billows of smoke that were still escaping from around the engine.
"We didn't damage anything, Merlin," Arthur started.
"You're right. It was the asteroids, dollop-head" Merlin said matter-of-factly and went back to tinkering around the engine. A few minutes later he emerged again, grease streaking his face and arms. "Arthur, could you hand me a wrench?"
Arthur opened the toolbox and retrieved the first wrench he saw. He went over and handed it to Merlin, smirking. "You've got some…." He trailed off and attempted to wipe a streak of grease from Merlin's cheek, but he only succeeded in smearing it further.
"Yeah, that happens when you climb inside the engine of a spaceship," Merlin replied and automatically turned back to work.
Arthur sidled up next to him, throwing an arm over Merlin's shoulder, "Can you fix it?" he asked, much closer to Merlin's ear than he need to be.
Merlin sighed and put a hand on Arthur's chest, pushing him back. "Maybe. But not if you're hovering over my shoulder the entire time. And I thought we had a talk about personal space."
"We did. I chose to ignore you. Head delivery boy, after all. I don't have to listen to you. You just drive. And not particularly well. Come on, Merlin…"
"I'm the captain. Two steps back. Right now," Merlin instructed, waving his wrench behind him. Arthur groaned and crossed his arms over his chest. He took two deliberate steps back and stood there staring at Merlin.
Merlin shrugged and went back to the engine. He worked for a few minutes in silence, but then he suddenly let out a low groan and turned around, tossing the wrench into the dirt. "It's useless. The damage is worse than I expected. I can't fix it here." Merlin hung his head, feeling utterly defeated.
"How about this," Arthur suggested in an attempt to cheer him up, "We'll call Uther and tell him what's happened Then…we'll find another way to get the Questing Beast to the city."
"What other way?" Merlin asked as he scooped up the toolbox and headed into the ship.
Arthur trailed behind him, the cogs turning in his head. "We'll think of something."
Merlin sat in his captain's chair and pressed the com button that would link their feed to Uther's back in New New York. Arthur jumped up suddenly. "I'm going to get Morgana. She'll kill me if she's not here to see this."
Arthur left the bridge, and Merlin sat there wondering how many other ways there were to get a Questing Beast from point A to point B. There couldn't possibly be that many. Just as he was getting discouraged again, Arthur returned with Morgana, who had a bright smile on her face and yet another beer in her hand.
Merlin sighed and pressed the button, waiting for a response. It took a few seconds, but then Uther was staring up at them from the screen, looking utterly confused. He shrugged under his white lab coat and blinked at them. "You're not finished with your delivery already?"
"Um…not exactly…we…"
Arthur cut Merlin off. "We crashed. Well, Merlin crashed. Either way, we're kind of stuck in the desert."
"Of course you are. Will you be getting out any time soon, or should I start searching for a new crew?" Uther asked, then wandered away from the screen mumbling, "Though, you'll be harder to replace than the last bunch, I think…"
"Uther!" Morgana snapped from behind them.
"Oh, yes, right, of course," he said as he came wandering back to the screen. "I'll let the city know your delivery will be delayed. But I fear that's all I can really do from here. If you're not back in a week, I'll assume you're dead and your jobs will be reassigned." Uther pressed a button on his end and the screen went blank.
"That went well," Arthur said, looking a little green.
"Yeah, well he's your relative," Merlin complained, getting up and crossing to the window again. Morgana followed suit and walked over, raising her beer toward the horizon. "At least the desert's pretty."
Merlin raised a hand to his forehead, and shook his head. "What are we going to do?"
Morgana shrugged, turning to leave the room. Merlin heard her chuckle as the door closed behind her. "You know," Merlin said to Arthur, "Sometimes she's more of a prat than you are."
"Was that a compliment?" Arthur asked, leaning against the window as he tried to draw Merlin's gaze away from the desert in front of them.
Merlin gave a noncommittal shrug, still preoccupied with figuring out how to make their delivery, but also how to fix the ship. Both of Camelot Prime's suns were setting over the hills now, and whatever they decided to do, it was probably best to start again in the morning, once they'd gotten some rest.
Arthur chuckled at the intense expression covering Merlin's face. "That's not a face people normally make when looking at a beautiful sunset."
His humor was met with another noncommittal shrug. But, Arthur didn't let this deter him. He snaked an arm around Merlin's waist, pulling his thin frame against him. Merlin shot Arthur a warning glance, but Arthur just reached up and tucked a length of black hair behind Merlin's ear.
"Personal space, Ar-" Merlin began, but Arthur put a hand over his mouth.
"Fine. I'm not perfect. I'm cocky and rude, and I like to make fun of you when you crash spaceships. But you can't tell me there's nothing here."
"This is ridiculous," Merlin mumbled under his breath, and pushed Arthur back, extracting himself from his arms. "I'm going to get some sleep, you probably should, too."
Once Merlin was gone, Arthur sat in the captain's chair for a while, thinking. He almost dozed off a few times, and once he dropped the can of Slurm he'd been drinking and had to go find a towel to wipe it up. Just as he was drying the last few drips of green liquid from the floor, an idea came to him. He tossed the towel on the counter and went to the view-screen.
After pressing a series of buttons, he rocked back on his heels, waiting. A few seconds later, Gwen's face appeared on the screen. Her cheeks were almost as pink as her track suit, and she was breathing heavily. It took Arthur a few minutes to notice she was on a treadmill. "Arthur!" she said happily, despite her breathlessness. "What is it?"
"I need you to help me with something. Is Lancelot still working for that Zapp Brannigan guy?"
Gwen blinked at him for a second with a bewildered expression on her face, then switched off her treadmill. "No, actually, he's got his own ship now. Why?"
"Uther didn't tell you about our little mishap?"
"Um…well, he said something about maybe needing to find a new crew, but he says that a lot. I didn't assume too much from it," Gwen said sheepishly. "What happened?"
"Asteroids. Crashed in the desert. Somewhat stuck. But, we're at least on the planet we're supposed to be on. Do you think you could get Lancelot to help us make this delivery? And maybe he'd have someone who could fix our engine?"
"Well, I can get Lancelot to do almost anything," Gwen replied with a smile while racking her memory. "Let's see, you guys were headed to Camelot Prime, right? Because I think Lance's ship was somewhere in that sector as well. At least it was the last time I talked to him. I'll talk to him. If he's close he should be there in a day or so."
Arthur nodded and pressed a big red button, cutting the transmission. He smiled, hoping this plan worked. He wandered into his room and threw himself onto his bunk, wondering if Merlin was asleep. He woke suddenly to Morgana's face hovering inches above his.
"Rise and shine!" She said cheerily.
"Ugh, what's wrong with you?"
"What? I'm sorry, other peoples' failure just brings out the best in me," Her smile widened and she walked away, tracing a hand lightly along the bulkhead and humming to herself.
Arthur shook his head and swung his legs out onto the floor. Groggily, he ran a hand through his hair, trying to tame the bed-head, but his attempts proved fruitless. He shuffled out to the bridge, where Merlin was sitting on the floor sorting engine parts and ignoring thoughtless questions from Morgana. "What're you doing?"
"Looking for a medium-sized power coupling," Merlin replied flatly.
"Oh," Arthur replied, glancing across the metal parts strewn all over the floor. He bent down and picked up a circular object, holding it out to Merlin. "Like this?"
Merlin's eyes widened in surprise and he took the coupling from Arthur's hand. "Exactly like that. Thanks."
Arthur smiled and walked over to the fridge, rummaging around for a can of Slurm. Just as he started chugging and the sleep started to clear from his head, there was a loud knock at the main door of the ship. Arthur glanced up. Merlin appeared confused, but got up to open the door anyway. Morgana hung back and announced, "Watch out, they're probably robbers."
When the door opened Lancelot beamed up at them. There were nearly a dozen members of his crew behind him. "Heard you guys could use a little help. What's this about a Questing Beast and a broken engine?"
Merlin's jaw dropped as he waved Lancelot and his retinue into the ship. He narrowed his eyes as Lancelot passed, "How'd you know?"
"Apparently, Arthur told Gwen to make me come and get you," Lancelot answered with a smirk, "So here I am."
Merlin was so surprised at Arthur's initiative that he nearly dropped the power coupling. Without thinking, he ran over to Arthur and threw his arms around his neck, kissing him on the cheek. Arthur blinked, confused, and raised his Slurm above his head so Merlin wouldn't spill it.
"What happened to personal space?" Arthur asked with a light chuckle.
Merlin reached up and snatched the can of Slurm from Arthur's hand and thrust it in the direction if one of Lancelot's crew members. "Hold this."
Merlin dragged Arthur by the hand a little further down the hall, then turned and pressed him up against the bulkhead. Arthur's eyes lit up, amused. "You're a prat. And you're rude, and you have no concept of personal space. But, on occasion you…surprise me."
Arthur didn't wait; he just pressed a quick kiss to Merlin's lips. Merlin hesitated for a second, but then melted into the kiss, losing his hand in the base of Arthur's hair.
A beer bottle went whizzing by them and shattered against the wall. "Damn it, other people have to walk in these halls, too, you know. Get a room."