Hello! This takes place sometime before Bella and Edward are married, but has no specific time. Also, the banana lollipop joke was a true story, so don't just think I'm perverted! Please review! Enjoy!

I don't own Twilight; otherwise I would be in a mansion on a private island instead of dreading doing my science homework.

Edward POV

I'm sitting next to Bella and she is in one of her absurd moments that make me love her even more. She doubts her own attractiveness. She can't see how appealing she is to everyone.

"Bella, love, you don't see yourself clearly."

She mumbles under her breath, but I easily catch the words, "Look who's talking". I pretend I didn't just hear that.

"You couldn't hear what every person in Forks High School was thinking on your first day of school. Shall I make a list of who's fighting for you? You know some people, but some would surprise you."

Suddenly, she cuts me off, blushing that deep crimson that I love.

"Edward, don't be ridiculous!"

"I'm serious; I'll start my list straight away!"

"But-"

"No! Maybe this way you'll finally be convinced of how desirable you truly are!"

One blush continues into another as she says, "Well... Fine. You always win our arguments, so there's no point in fighting." My beauty slouches back to let me proceed. I smirk and recount the tale of Bella's first day of school in Forks.

"My family and I came in promptly that day, and I heard a buzz of 'Bella' in the minds around me. I quickly inferred that we had a new girl. What I couldn't immediately tell was how sexy she turned out to be."

"Oh come on! Stick to the story. None of that!"

"Don't interrupt this! It's true, love. I'll follow the time line of your day, regardless of when I heard their thoughts. Sound good?"

"Well, I don't really want to do this anyway, so..."

"So that's a yes. Let's start with Mr. Mason."

"My English teacher?"

"Yes. He was first. Don't worry, he's not on the list of people who desire you, but he did think you should hook up with Eric."

"Ew, Eric? Why?"

"Well, he felt bad for Eric, and you actually acknowledged his existence. For some reason, he had a daydream where Eric whisked you away to a private island where you... well... Let's just say it wasn't classroom appropriate."

"Oh dear God. I'll never be able to look at him the same way."

"Next, there was obviously Eric. As you noticed, he was the overly-helpful, chess club type, so his thoughts were better. He simply thought you were pretty (a grave understatement), and he wanted to ask you out. He thought you would shoot him down though, so he never asked, lucky for me."

"Aww. Poor Eric. I wouldn't date him, but I still liked him."

I laughed at this comment.

"Up next is Mr. Varner. Your Trigonometry teacher was quite... interesting. You look like his stepdaughter, who he hates, and he immediately disliked you. He made you introduce yourself in front of the class for the sole purpose of embarrassing you."

"That evil bastard! I knew there was something up with that guy. Please tell me he did not 'desire' me/his stepdaughter. "

"No, he didn't, but I may as well tell you all the dirt from your first day of school, not just those who desire you. After Trig, you went to Spanish-"

"Not Señor Taco!"

I chuckle at her elderly Spanish teacher's nickname.

"No, not him; Tyler. You didn't know him then, but he was there. He was staring at you the entire period. He just kept staring at..." I trail off, unsure of how to continue.

"Where? Just say it, Edward."

"In his words 'Damnnnnn. She's fine! That voluptuous ass! That rack! I'm gonna get some of that!'" I shake my head. "I won't go on."

Bella had a look of disgust on her face.

"That's partly why he asked you to prom. He figured he'd get lucky later that night."

"Fuck Tyler!"

"He wishes."

She groans at my joke, but I think it was pretty funny.

"That's why I constantly hated Tyler."

"No kidding"

"Next was your lunch table. There were only a few notable people: Jessica and Lauren."

"I'm scared."

"You should be. Jessica was going to use your 'new girl' popularity to gain status and then dump you like a... a..."

"Like a chubby person at a fashion show?"

"Unfortunately for you, and that person, yes. She ended up liking you though, so she rethought her plan. Now Lauren. Here's the thing: she's bi. Once she saw you, there was no going back. I saw you two in some sort of porn in her mind. I had no idea she was so flexible!"

"Ok, gross! Move on."

"Well, I guess you can figure out her thoughts. You know how she hates you?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Well it's because she wants you so much, but she knows you'll never be interested in a girl, much less her."

I see some wheels turning in Bella's mind, and I wait to see what she's thinking.

"Says who? Does that interest you?" she says provocatively. She removes her shirt and starts to close in on me.

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. I'm not budging on this issue."

"Damn it. Fine."

Thankfully she puts her shirt back on, because otherwise it would be difficult for me to concentrate on my story.

"Continuing. You probably want me to skip my family, and when you start talking about me."

I grin, and she blushes, quickly replying, "That would be nice."

"Ok, Mike's next." I let out an involuntary growl.

"Get over it"

"We'll see how you feel after this. Mike had just come from English, where he had a British teacher. Well, she gave out lollipops, and the teacher exclaimed 'Oooh! I've never had a banana sucker before!' This caused every guy in the class to think of girls sucking bananas. Specifically theirs."

"That's disgusting."

"So when he saw you, it didn't really help. He had visions of you being very seductive for hours after you met him. He also always dreamed of-"

"You know what? I think that's enough of Mike."

"I agree." I shudder. "Who next? Any requests?"

"No! I'm done with this! I'd rather not know the dirty thoughts in guys', and I guess girls' minds! That's way more information than I needed."

"Are you sure? I have much more!"

"No more! How about you tell me about girls' reactions to you!" She smirks slyly.

"Uhhh, how about I don't." I can't even count in my vampire mind how many times I've heard girls wanting to make out with me, and often much, much more.

"Aha! So you can dish it out, but you can't take it?" Bella accuses.

"That's right." She starts to protest, but I use her weakness against her. I sweep her into a passionate kiss. I can tell her thoughts of other girls are gone. Just to be sure, I slide my hand under the back of her shirt. She shivers with what I hope is pleasure, and not cold. She continues to try and undress herself, but I slowly pull away. It nearly kills me not to take her here and now, but I manage. I peck her on the lips one last time, and entwine my hand with hers.

"I'll get it out of you eventually," she whispers. Not sure if she means sex, or the girls' reactions, I simply chuckle.

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