A/N: Dedicated to Mononoke-hime x sukai kurora: for reviewing all seventeen chapters so far even though you had just stumbled upon the story at seventeen; for pushing my reviews over two hundred; and, most importantly, preserving in writing over one hundred stories for the fanfiction community. That was a lot of work I'm sure, and it deserves to be recognized.

Just as Sasuke closed his eyes a sickening scream pierced his ears. Sakura! His mind screamed. In a flash he had slammed the bathroom door off of its hinges, prepared to face down Madara. His wife was currently cowering on top of the toilet seat, still screeching out that sound that curdled his blood. To his great relief, no enemy shinobi was lurking in the shower she had just emerged from.

"Kill it! Kiiiiiillll it!" she demanded, clutching the mint green towel she had around herself for dear life.

Sasuke looked down.

On the floor sat a very large, completely brown species of tarantula; or so Sasuke assumed. It was large, long legged and surprisingly not hairy. He could make out its pincers quite plainly even from three feet away. It looked like it would be fast, but the creature seemed too confused by Sakura's screaming to decide how it should react to her. Upon Sasuke's violent entrance into the room, it scuttled backwards towards Sakura- who began screaming bloody murder. It froze, seemingly deterred by the noise she was making. Sasuke had always considered spiders as intelligent, but caught between two apparent threats, this one seemed at a loss.

Normally, he didn't pay too much attention to insects or spiders, but this one was bigger than most- it could even be poisonous- besides, he needed Sakura to stop screaming and he doubted that would ever happen until the thing was dead. So, he had to kill it. Sasuke frowned and picked up her discarded nin sandal. Taking a cautious step toward the creature to avoid scaring it off, he raised the weapon over his head and-

"NO!" Sakura yelled.

He stopped mid-swing.

"You can't do that!" she hissed. "It might jump or something! Besides, it will make an awful sound when it- well, you know, dies. Take it outside and kill it or something! That shouldn't be more than thirty feet."

"And just how do you suggest I do that?" he questioned.

"You...you could carry it," Sakura said hesitatingly, shivering at the thought of actually touching the huge spider.

He stared at her. There was no way in the world he was picking that thing up in his hands and carrying it anywhere. The thought was simply ridiculous. If it bothered her that bad, she could just get over it…or, she could leave. "Sakura," he sighed, "be reasonable. I can't; you'll just have to deal with it, or leave if you want."

"I can't!" She wailed. "It's- I- I just can't!"

"Then deal with it." He raised the shoe again.

Sasuke had never been in a domestic argument with a woman before. Obviously most women were flattered that he deigned to speak to them, and were only too happy to do his will. Or so he chose to believe. Sakura, however, was quite the exception, and with a spider the size of Fire Country in her bathroom this was a fight she was not in the least about to lose.

In the end, Sasuke was convinced that a solution should be found elsewhere; he'd just have to think outside the box. Thinking outside the box to defeat unusual opponents was something he was good at. That was also one of the reasons he had been such an infamous criminal. Not that any of that did him any good against this stupid spider which Sakura for some stupid reason wouldn't let him just smash.

Suddenly, an idea struck him and he turned on his heel and exited the bathroom.

"Sasuke, where are you going?" Sakura hissed. He kept walking. "Sasuke, don't leave me! Please," she was begging him. "Sasuke!" She was expecting him to protect her, yet she didn't fully trust him to do so. Maybe he should have explained, he thought as he raced up the steps. Maybe that was part of their problem: lack of trust in each other. But then, said a sadistic voice in his head, Ino trusted Sai and look where that got her. It's a good thing Sakura doesn't trust you, you would end up hurting her even worse than all those other times. He violently shoved those words from his thoughts. He couldn't deal with the angst at the moment; didn't want too, even. After that dinner with Sakura and her family, he almost felt normal, whole, sane- healed.

Once on the roof, he quickly summoned one of his smaller snakes and gave it orders to kill the spider he was about to trade places with. After it's acknowledgement of his request, Sasuke quickly formed the hand seals for replacing himself with an object, hoping that it would work for him even though the spider was alive. That day when Kakashi had taught them the jutsu to replace themselves with logs in battle, Sasuke doubted the old man ever intended for him to modify it to destroy the tarantula terrifying Sakura in their bathroom.

Sasuke always counted it his own personal miracle afterward (in his private thoughts of course) that the jutsu did work the way he had needed it too. He found himself practically nose to nose with Sakura, in the spot which the spider had occupied only a millisecond before. Meaning, he assumed, that it had found itself on the roof where he had stood just a moment before, being killed by a snake.

Upon seeing him and only him in front of her, Sakura's paranoid features sharpened into shock before softening significantly into relief and joy. On what he could only explain as a sudden impulse, she wrapped her arms around him and squealed delightedly, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

She obviously had no, or little, idea what she was doing, he concluded. There was no way she was logically thinking right now, or she wouldn't be hugging him- much less saying those words. The next instant Sakura seemed to realize that too, because she abruptly froze and drew back.

At least, she tried.

"…Um, Sasuke….we- I have a predicament."

Glancing down at her pink head he raised an eyebrow. "Hn?"

"Um, well, you see I got carried away and hugged you not thinking and- well, if either of us move even a millimeter I think…Ithinkmytowel'sgoingtofall," she rushed out.

It took Sasuke a moment to decode her words in his head, but when he did, his ears turned pink. "Then…what do you propose we do?"

Sakura was silent for a long minute. "I…I don't know. Surely there's some way you can turn around or something fast enough not to see? Then I can grab my towel and fix it enough to where you can walk out. Only…"

"Only?"

"I don't want to step where the spider was. Or be alone in here again. Another one might show up." She cringed.

"Sakura, you are a kunochi of the Hidden Leaf," Sasuke reprimanded.

"I know. On the job, I don't let it bother me but at home I- well I just can't help it! It was on me, Sasuke! That huge leggy thing was ON MY BODY!" she cried. "And I just don't want to walk on the floor where it was barefoot, or be alone just now...I'm sorry," she whispered.

He really was in no way prepared for this. As a child, he had thought Sakura weak; now he was getting used to her being strong- not only strong enough to hold her own physically, but she was one of the strongest people emotionally he'd ever met- second only to Itachi and Naruto in fact. Still, her reaction to the spider, under the conditions of stress and emotional strain she'd been experiencing lately, was understandable. She was bound to snap sometime. He had several times already. But now that she had, well, he had no idea what to do with her now.

With Sakura clinging to him by necessity throughout her hysterics, however, he somehow couldn't find it within himself to be upset with her like he should have been. He sighed heavily. "One crisis at a time, Sakura. Fix the towel; I'm not looking." He covered his eyes with a hand to illustrate his words.

She drew back and it was only a moment before she said meekly, "Okay."

Sasuke opened his eyes and found her securely wrapped back up. He noticed that this time her hands never left the spot where she had it clasped. Alright, one crisis down. "I'm going to bed," he told her as he turned to the doorway.

"Sasuke! You can't just leave me in here!"

He looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, you can. But it wouldn't be nice!" She backpedaled. "And you're supposed to be nice to me!"

Hmm. He thought he remembered making a promise like that a couple nights ago. He sighed. This was so- so troublesome. Hn. Troublesome woman. "What do you suggest I do about it?"

"I- well, I don't know," Sakura mumbled.

"Hn."

"You don't have to be so smug about it!" she cried. "You could- you could carry me!"

He froze. He had carried her before- lots of times since he was twelve. But all the times he could think of at the moment she'd been unconscious or asleep. Right now, she was most definitely not asleep. The smart thing to do would be to just keep walking. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. Sasuke wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to why that was; but he told himself that it was because her screeching was fresh in his mind, and it was impossible for even him to sleep through that. "Fine," he snapped at her, turning on his heel and marching back to the short little woman who was forcing him to do things he never would have dreamed of doing in a million years just by asking him to. "But I get to sleep in the bed."

"Oh…okay; as long as you protect me from any more spiders." Wait- he hadn't meant for her to be in the bed too... Sasuke mentally sighed.

Wherever Itachi was at the moment, Sasuke knew his older brother was laughing at this as well.

He swept Sakura up into his arms like he always had before, and refused to look into her eyes or think of how ironic it was he was carrying her bridal style- and always had. He sat her down the moment his feet hit the carpet of the bedroom like she burned him. She might as well have; burning would be less painful than the way she made him open up.

He lied back down in his spot facing the bathroom (he had planned on shanghaiing the bed tonight the whole time, only in his original plan Sakura had been too timid to actually sleep in the bed too), and closed his eyes. He heard the closet opening as Sakura dug out an old outfit to sleep in. He began trying to calm his racing mind down, as Sakura changed. Thoughts flew around his head like a flock of birds; he wasn't even able to pin one down long enough to figure out what exactly was bothering him. During his time with Orochimaru, Sasuke could almost fall asleep on command, pretty much anywhere, for exactly the amount of time he wanted. Tonight however, he couldn't seem too. Sakura slipped into bed and flopped like a fish for thirty minutes trying to find a comfortable way to lay on her tiny slice of the bed. Still he couldn't sleep. Scenes from the day played through his head like a video on fast forward. Sasuke rolled over to face the other direction and back again. He tried all the successful techniques that had helped in the past- nothing worked.

It appeared it was going to be an uncomfortable night trying to stay in only the grand foot of width he was allotted on the bed- brooding about nothing. He was close regretting not just sleeping on the floor anyway, but he had to admit that even as limited as space was, the bed was still softer than the floor could ever hope to be.

Sakura rolled over, her shoulder accidentally brushing his back.

"Sasuke," she said softly, "are you still awake?"

If he hadn't been, he doubted her voice would be enough to wake him. "Aa."

She remained silent, but he could tell that she wanted to talk, or babble, or something. She probably wanted to ask him some bothersome questions about the past he didn't want to answer. Because you know the answers will hurt her; they'll destroy any myths she's made herself believe about your goodness, mocked the voice in his head.

So on some out-of-character impulse, he beat her to it. "Why did that spider bother you so much?"

As if they were playing opposites, Sakura didn't answer. The seconds ticked by on the clock in the other room, Sasuke counted one hundred and twenty-four before he heard Sakura suck in a deep breath and start softly, "It was years ago, when you were still gone. The details aren't that important. Let's just say that I ran into Deidera's exploding spiders alone. I already had a form of arachnophobia, and that encounter was very violent. I- I was covered in them, Sasuke- covered. I thought I was going to die then. But I'm not even sure that's why they bother me so much. Maybe it's that every time I see a spider now I think of that moment, when he and the Akatsuki were going to destroy my friends, my home and my family and I was completely helpless. But I- I over reacted tonight. I'm sorry. I should have controlled it better."

"Hn," he responded; only this time it wasn't a derisive "Hn" of agreement, it was one of understanding- almost one of empathy. Almost.

The next morning, Sakura woke up first; she was making breakfast in the kitchen when Sasuke emerged after his own tarantula-free shower. Sakura placed the simple breakfast on the buffet and handed Sasuke a fork as she began eating on the other side of the counter.

"I want to ask Shino to come over and take a look at the apartment. I've never seen an insect like that in Konoha before and I want to be sure that something isn't wrong," Sakura commented after five minutes of silence.

He frowned. With possible involvement by Madara, he supposed it never hurt to cover all your bases when it came to safety, and he understood spiders bothered her, but surely having Shino go over the apartment wasn't necessary; besides, he'd start asking questions and they'd have to explain- and that was definitely a breach of security. Of course, with her emotional involvement in this, he doubted she had thought of all that yet. He'd just have to point it out for her. "He'll ask questions."

Sakura frowned at the countertop. "Shino can keep secrets. Plus, if this is permanent, he'll find out sometime; it might as well be from us."

"Madara's still out there. The information could cost him his life," Sasuke argued.

"So what, we're just going to stop living because some walking corpse could come up from his grave at any time? That could be years, Sasuke. This "underground" living is impractical. We have to have a baby born in a year, remember? That's not going to cause rumors!" she bit out sarcastically.

"Are you ready for the rumors? For the constant danger? Are you ready for people to attempt to kidnap you because that would give them a way to hurt me? Are you ready to be the wife of an Uchiha? Are you ready to share my curse?" Perhaps this was really the question that needed to be answered. Maybe the reason this had been so hard on both of them was they had been avoiding the answer. Or maybe the answer was just "no".

Sakura speared an onigiri just a bit too hard, her fork clashing against her plate answering for her.

"I didn't think so," Sasuke sneered, turning on his heel. He was surprised by the bitterness he felt at her response. Some foolish place inside of him had hoped that she would still be willing to do anything, go anywhere, for him like the twelve year old girl she had been. At least she had yanked her head out of the clouds. He should do the same.

"If I could trust you, I would die for you."

He stopped in his tracks.

"Did you hear that, Uchiha? If you hadn't destroyed my trust in you I would do anything for you. Go anywhere. So earn my trust, and then you can call my shots. But not until then!" Sakura's fork clattered to the counter. "I'm going to bring Shino here. I'm going to see Ino again today. And I don't care what you think!" She turned on her heel and marched out the door.

He almost snorted as he finished his trip into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Where did she think she was going to be able to get to? All she had was thirty feet if he didn't follow her; and there was no way he was going to follow her and "lose" this fight.

…But maybe this wasn't so much of a fight. Sasuke thought back on her words for a moment. Perhaps this was really a diplomatic compromise. She was promising to be willing to endure whatever his heritage and past actions threw at them, as long as he proved she could trust him. As the vivid memories of his almost killing her flitted before his eyes, he decided she did indeed deserve that.

He felt Sakura reach the end of their thirty feet, and grimaced. However, she stopped moving, and he was able to breathe easier. Tsunade yelling at him about her passing out again would be beyond "troublesome".

But now that he had decided to call a truce, he supposed he needed to find a logical reason he needed to go to Sakura. As he glanced around, his eyes fell on her sandals setting neatly by the bathroom where he'd sat them this morning when he'd went in to take his shower. Sasuke smirked to himself. Bingo.

He found Sakura sitting exactly thirty feet away on the steps of a random house, barefoot, and somewhat repentant for her foolishness for leaving the house without her shoes. He tossed the sandals at her, and caught a glimpse of her smile before he started walking down the street toward the hospital.

"Does that mean we have an official cease-fire?" She called after him while she quickly slipped on her sandals.

"Aa."

"Does that mean you admit that I was right?" She needled.

He threw her a look before nodding in defeat. "It does."

He could swear he could feel her grinning at his back before she caught up with him.

"Make your visit quick," he ordered when they approached the hospital.

"Sasuke, she's my best friend!" Sakura protested.

"We can come back, Sakura," he pointed out.

"Later today?" She asked uncertainly.

"Hn."

"Hn," she mimicked.

He shot her a look.

She laughed.

He realized he didn't mind as much as he thought he did.

"Give me an hour," she promised as he leaned against the wall of the ward Ino was being kept in.

True to her word, she did keep the visit to about an hour. She returned with a brave, but wavering smile. "What now?" she asked. He raised an eyebrow in question. She shook her head and repeated her question.

"I want to get my weapons back from Naruto," he explained.

Sakura nodded and they walked to the bridge in silence, content to be alone with their own thoughts and memories.

"Ahh. Sasuke, Sakura, good to see you out this morning!" greeted Kakashi as he approached from behind them. "You're not training are you?"

"No, Kakashi-sensei. Just out for a walk," Sakura smiled. "I for one could use some socialization, even if the great Uchiha ice cube doesn't seem to think so." Sasuke shot her another look.

"Good, because I'd like to talk to you…alone, if you don't mind, Sasuke?"

He frowned. This had to be important, and he wanted to be a part of it. After all, he was her husband now. But, he knew Kakashi would never tell as long as he was around and he stood a good chance of hearing it from Sakura later. So, he turned silently and walked the rest of the way across the infamous bridge alone. A hot breeze blew across his face, lifting up his hair and blowing it in his face. He frowned. He never had liked breezes, but this one seemed artificial, like the result of a jutsu. He quickened his step slightly.

Sasuke found Naruto at the training grounds. Not surprising, but the fact he was training with Hyuuga Hinata, well that was. The date must have gone better than Sasuke had expected it to. It was about time the Dobe got a clue.

Sasuke couldn't help himself and flashed by the blonde, flicking him in the back of his head.

"Oi! TEME!" He roared.

Hinata jumped, tripped and they went down together.

Sasuke smirked.

"What was that for?!" Naruto glared, fighting down a blush as Hinata attempted to get off without fainting.

"Where's my katana, Dobe?"

Naruto scowled. "You interrupted my date- err, training for that?!" he asked, incredulous. Hinata "eeped" at Naruto's utterance of the "d" word.

"Yes," Sasuke replied simply.

"Egotistical jerk."

"Moron."

"Teme."

"Dobe."

"Sasuke-san!" Hinata said forcefully, bowing low before the Uchiha. He blinked. Naruto gaped. "I believe that the Hokage would have your katana in her possession, as you were turned over to the village upon your return and all your personal property with you. Perhaps you should check there?"

"Hn. I will." He turned to Naruto. "Have you kissed her then? Is that why she's stopped stuttering so suddenly?"

Hinata went bleach white and fainted. Naruto caught her immediately, not bothering to stop glaring at Sasuke. "Stop being such a selfish prick," he snapped.

Sasuke didn't remember Naruto snapping like that before. He obviously cared about Hinata more than he realized. Sasuke inwardly smirked; he found his former teammate's situation amusing. They would be a happy couple. Probably the only functional one in Konoha at this point.

"My apologies, Hyuuga-san, kissing that toad is quite disturbing for you, I'm sure," he told the unconscienceous girl.

"Hump. You would know," Naruto grumbled behind him. Sasuke pretended not to hear as he walked away.

Sasuke slowly walked back the bridge. One of the worst things about his childhood had been the fact that he belonged nowhere; nobody had wanted him any longer. Because of that, Sasuke didn't do the whole "third wheel" thing. But with this stupid jutsu on them, he couldn't just walk away and avoid the situation like normal. No, he had to hang around Sakura and wait for her to do things, like finish a private conversation with their perverted old sensei.

But as soon as he came into sight, Kakashi called out to him. "Sakura informs me that you are looking for your katana and such. It's a good thing we ran into each other then. Tsunade gave them to me about a while ago and I misplaced them," he explained, scratching the back of his head. Sasuke frowned. That wasn't like Kakashi. But he took back his weapons without comment. "I'm afraid I haven't saved you a trip to the Hokage's office, though; I merely delayed it," he explained as Sasuke slipped his sword into place. It felt slightly awkward to have it on again after a year without it. He would have to train thoroughly soon. "She wishes to see the two of you tomorrow, to check up and discuss a few things," Kakashi finished explaining before he waved goodbye and walked on with his nose stuck in a certain orange book.

Neither the famous copynin nor Sakura saw the slip of paper Sasuke artfully placed in the final pages of the book as Kakashi walked by him.

"Okay then, off to see Shino," Sakura commented with the sort of false cheer one uses when encouraging children to "be good, we're almost done with the grocery shopping." He nodded though and said nothing, secretly smug in the confidence he would have all the information he needed to fulfill his goal of repossessing her by midnight.

A/N: I would just like to point out here that this chapter is twice as long as normal. I need some feedback on the length of chapters. I know the ones I put out are generally pretty short, but that enables me to update a lot faster. This took a lot out of me, and quite frankly, if it wasn't for the break I had for the past couple weeks, this wouldn't have happened. So: longer chapters or faster updates? Which makes the overall story flow better? Which would you rather have?