A/N: This is an AU fic of what would've happened in the arena if Katniss hadn't had the nightlock berries with her. I know the idea is sort of overused, but I'm still not afraid to do my shot, and I hope you all will like it. I took a few sentences from the actual book in the beginning, but I didn't necessarily copy-paste the whole thing, of course. I might've made a few grammatical errors because English isn't my first language, so I sincerely apologize for any mistakes I made here.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games—the character, the books, or even the movie.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

"Your Guardian Angel" - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

It takes a few moments to find Cato in the dim light, in the blood. Then the raw hunk of meat that used to be my enemy makes a sound, and I know where his mouth is. And I think the word he's trying to say is please.

Please, kill me now. Please, make it stop. I just want to die. You both can win and live happily ever after, I don't care. Just kill me.

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into his skull. Peeta pulls me back up, bow in hand, quiver empty.

"Did you get him?" he whispers.

The cannon fires in answer.

"Then we won, Katniss," he says hollowly.

"Hurray for us," I get out, but there's no joy of victory in my voice.

Somehow, we make it back to the lake, letting them take Cato's body with the hovercraft. I scoop up a handful of the cold water for Peeta and bring a second to my lips.

A mockingjay gives the long, low whistle, and tears of relief fill my eyes as the hovercraft appears and takes Cato's body away. Now they will take us. Now we can go home.

But again there's no response.

"What are they waiting for?" says Peeta.

"I don't know," I say. I get up to find my arrow that bounced off Cato's body armor. As I stoop to pick it up, Claudius Templesmith's voice booms into the arena.

"Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed," he says. "Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor."

I stare at Peeta in disbelief. Our eyes widen as we realize that they never intended to let us both live. We were so stupid to even believe that they would let two victors in this game.

"Well… what a surprise," Peeta mutters sarcastically, making it to his feet. His hand travels to his belt, pulling the knife out and holds it out toward me.

Before I am even aware of my actions, my bow is loaded with the arrow pointed straight at his heart.

He stares at me, eyebrows raised, the knife gripped in his hand tightly. I can't read him from his eyes, but I swear I see a glimpse of mixed emotion—anger, desperation, exhaustion, and surrender. Just a second before I decided to shoot at his heart, he lets go of his knife.

It falls into the lake, splashing the water all over his feet. I take a step back, still holding my bow and the arrow that's still pointed at his heart. I don't know what to do, now that for real, only one of us can get out of this hell alive. Should I just kill him and go home? Or should I stab my own heart with the arrow and let him be the victor?

Who will be the victor? Who will be the last to die in this arena tonight? I don't know.

I don't want to kill him.

I owe him a lot of things. He once saved my life with the loaves of bread he gave me. He let me go home alive. He let me feed my family. He let us live. And isn't it inappropriate to pay him back by sticking my arrow in his chest?

But I still want to live. I want to see Prim, my mother, and Gale and his family. If I die today, who else is going to keep my family from starving? Gale has his own family to deal with, I can't make him worry about my family too.

And what if my death will crush my mother like when my father died? Who's going to take care of Prim?

Only one of us can be the winner. It's either me or Peeta.

It's all in my hand now. Peeta won't kill me. He's weaponless, he has nothing but his bare hands, and he can't kill me without a weapon because I have one. It is me who needs to make a choice. I have a bow and an arrow, I'm ready to kill. Kill him, or kill myself. But I can't do either of those. I can't kill him. I can't kill me. Faking my love or not, I still want both of us to live.

"Just do it, Katniss," he says, loud enough for me to hear. He sounds so weak. He has lost too much blood. I realize I have three choices now. Kill him with my arrow, kill myself with my arrow, or let him be, let him die of bloodloss, and go home alive as a victor.

And the third choice is not an option for me. I can't just sit there and watch him die slowly and painfully. I don't have the heart to do that while I wait for his cannon to fire.

"Go ahead, Katniss. It's okay."

No, Peeta, it's not okay. I can't kill you, not after all the things you've done for me.

"No," I say. "No, no, no, no. I can't." I shake my head furiously and throw the bow away from me. "I can't!"

"You have to!" Peeta insists. He makes his way toward me and grabs my shoulders, gripping them and shaking me, as if wanting to snap some sense into me. "You will live, Katniss. You will not die, not here, not now, okay? Kill me!"

"Are you crazy?" I shriek. "I can't kill you! I will not kill you!"

"Just do it, Katniss, I want it. I want to die. I want you to win," he leans forward and kisses my dry lips softly. He's only making it harder for me to kill him. He pulls away and lowers down to pick up my weapons and thrusts it back into my hands. "Shoot me. Before the mutts come back or something—I don't want to die like Cato."

I shove the weapons back and glare at him, "Then you shoot me! You shoot me and go home and live with it!"

He lets out a humorless laugh, "You know I can't use bow and arrows." And then he sighs deeply. "Katniss… just… do it. I'm okay with it."

"I don't want you to die, Peeta. I want us both live. Or… or I die and you live. I don't want to kill you."

He buries his face in my hair and murmurs into my ear, "Think of it, Katniss. Think of Prim and your mother. They both need you. They can't live without you. Don't you want to see their faces again? And… and Gale. He needs you too. You're going to hurt him… them… if you die instead of me," he starts to babble about home, about how much he loves me and that he doesn't want me to die for him.

And you think I haven't thought about it, a voice in my head says.

And then I think of the berries. Nightlock berries. The ones that kill Foxface by accident. I pull away from his embrace and look around the arena.

"Katniss, what are you doing?" Peeta says. He falls to his knees and just sits there while I try to find the berries. It must be here, somewhere among the bushes. I have to find it.

Minutes pass as I thrash around the bushes, and as the clock ticks Peeta get weaker and weaker.

Where are those berries? I need them. I can't take it anymore. It's the only way to end these games.

"Katniss… don't… the berries… no…" Peeta says weakly. I didn't realize I was thinking that loud.

Finally, I give up. I can't find the berries anywhere. I drop on my knees in front of Peeta, tears now threatening to fall down from my eyes.

"Peeta… I don't want you to die," I whisper. "I don't want to kill you. I can't… I can't let you die." Because if he dies, a part of me will die with him.

I didn't realize I was already crying until Peeta's thumb brushes softly against my cheek, wiping away the tears. "I love you, Katniss," Oh, I think, he's still keeping the act, "I don't want to be alive if you're not. I can't live without you."

"Then the feeling is mutual!" I say. "Do you think I want to live knowing that I was the one who took away your life? I don't want to live with guilt, Peeta!"

"You don't have to feel guilty. This is what I want."

"You can't leave me here alone," I argue.

He smiles sadly, "You're not alone. You have your family. And you have him."

Gale. I still have Gale. And maybe, if I live, someday I will change my mind about not wanting to fall in love and have kids. Maybe someday I will marry him, I will have a life with him, with little kids with dark hair and grey eyes. Maybe someday I will move on over Peeta's death. And he knows damn well I will move on eventually, because I can.

"You won't be alone," he cups my face in his hands and kisses me. Once, twice, again and again and again. I kiss him back and I can't stop. But soon he stops and I fall into his chest and he wraps his arms around me. I don't care if the whole citizen of Panem are watching us cry together, pitying ourselves. We are lovers, poor, star-crossed lovers who can't do anything against The Capitol's will.

Finally, he pulls away and stands up to grab my weapons and takes my hand, ordering me to stand up. And soon, the weapons are back in my hands. "Peeta…"

He cuts me off, "Do it, Katniss. I have nothing to lose."

I shake my head, "But I do, Peeta. If you die… then I have to lose you. I don't want to have to lose you."

"You know I love you, Katniss," he kisses me once again. "It's okay. You'll be alright." You'll move on.

I close my eyes as the tears start falling down again. "I love you, too, Peeta."

I don't know if it was for the audience, or if both of us really did mean it, especially myself. To be honest, I wasn't thinking when I let those words slip through my lips. But that doesn't matter, whether I actually have been loving him the whole time or not. In a few seconds, he will be gone, and our love won't matter anymore.

Slowly, he takes a few steps back, and my arrow is already pointed at his heart again. I stare at him one last time, even if it hurts. His mouth seems to form a word, something similar to the word "please", just like what Cato was trying to say before I shot him. But I can't be sure, because my vision is blurred with tears.

I think he nods and gives me a sad smile.

This is it. This is the last time I will ever see him. I hate myself for letting the Capitol win, for letting them do this to me, but what else can I do? If I decide to rebel against them by doing some stunts too keep both of us alive, more lives are gonna be at stake. Not only Peeta's will be taken away, but maybe also mine, or even our families', and I can't let that happen. This is the risk that I have to take, sacrificing one life for many others (and I'm sure Peeta understands it, too), and I remind myself repeatedly that I am here to protect Prim, not Peeta, and as selfish as it is, it's true. My goal wasn't to keep Peeta beside me for my personal needs of affection, though now I think I need him more than I had wanted to.

I close my eyes, and my arrow flies. After a few moments of deafening silence, the cannon fires.

I drop to my knees and bury my head in my hands as I hear the voice of Claudius Templesmith.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victor of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, our tribute from District Twelve, Katniss Everdeen!"