The Choices that Led to my Destiny

I looked down at the berries in my hand, nightlock, I had seen it many times before they grow all over district 5. The boy had been stupid, he tried to make a meal out of these; the girl had been smart she stopped him, told him what they were. I rolled the berries around in my hand thinking back on my life. Even before I was born I was destined to be here.

District 5's choice

In district 5 the medical district, no births are natural, young couples go to the research facility to pick their offspring. Any trait they desire, intelligence, strength, beauty they could provide. Babies were born in test tubes if they were not perfect they were not valued. After 7 failed attempts my parents had the perfect baby girl. She would have gleaming red hair, would grow tall and strong, with a cunning mind a child who would win the games and bring honor to her family. I did not choose to be born.

My Father's choice

"Daddy please don't hit me, I didn't mean to get the question wrong, I'll try harder next time it was only one question".

Despite my pleas I felt his hand as he struck my face, then he left the room, I sunk to the floor my vision blurred by unfallen tears. The way he looked at me with such disgust, I could see the disappointment in his eyes. What happened to the Daddy who loved his perfect little girl, why won't that Daddy come back, why did he leave this man in his place? Was I no longer perfect in his eyes, what did I do wrong? I did not choose to have an abusive father.

My Mother's choice

"Mama, why does Daddy hit me I thought I was perfect?"

"Sweetie he's like that because he wants you to succeed and you are not trying hard enough".

"But Mama doesn't he love me anymore?"

"We will love you once you have won the Games".

I wanted to run, to hide, to disappear but I could not control my life. This was the first time I truly understood why my parents had me, at age 7 I knew I was destined for the Games. Why didn't Mama love me? I did not choose to have a mother who doesn't care.

My parent's choice

She was perfect. I was 14 and she was 7. She had gorgeous blond hair, shiny blue eyes, and a petite frame. She was not bred for the games; she did not have to train for she would never be reaped. She didn't have to work for Daddy and Mamas love. Daddy didn't hit her, Mama didn't hate her. Even I marveled at how wonderful she was, why didn't my parents see me the way they saw her. She was innocent and she was loved. I did not choose to have a perfect sister.

The Capitol's choice

"Mama I'm scared what happens if I'm picked".

"Sweetie you will be picked your name is on every female slip".

"But Mama, I don't want to go, I don't want to die".

"You won't, this is why you were bred, and you will win and bring honor to our family".

And just like that she was gone, melted back into the sea of people, and I a 15 year old girl, left standing alone destined for the games. I did not choose to be reaped.

My choice

I looked down at the berries in my hand, contemplating my options. I could easily take out the rest tributes; they are battered and broken, while I walk the forest unscathed. I am strong, I am stealthy, and I am smart. But maybe I am too smart because I know what will be awaiting me when I return. She said he would love me, she would love, I would bring honor. But what good is that, I know the truth if I win I will never be free. I will return home to a Daddy who hurt me, a Mama who never cared about me, and a perfect sister who everyone loves. I raised the berries up to make sure my family saw them.

"I am sorry Father, I am sorry Mother, I am sorry Lilith. I will not be coming home. I was bred for the games, I was smart, I was strong, and I could win. But I am smart enough to know that if I return home I will never have control over my life, I will always be a pawn in your games, and I have made my choice".

With those words I poured the handful of berries into my mouth and swallowed. The effects were instant my senses dull, my vision blurred and everything went black.

I am Jaqueline Amarixe and I choose my death