A/N: I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

The failure of ANDROMEDA nearly murdered this story outright, but I'm stubborn enough to pick up the pen once more!

Sorry for being gone so long, I have a nephew to look after now. Not to mention I'm working nearly seven days a week. I've been messaging the author who was helping me write this, but I haven't got any response soooooo...

...either the PM system has gone wonky or they're busy, I guess.

Who knows?

Anyway, here we are, a nice, simple interlude to grease the gears and get the creative juices flowing again.

Sorry if its short, but, hey, I'm baaaaaaack!

"This is why we can't have nice things!"

~?

Live and Learn (Interlude)

Aria frowned.

Anyone who knew her-who truly understood the Queen of Omega's dark heart-would have run shrieking for the hills by now. T'was a small smile, scarcely more than a smirk, almost invisible amidst the pulsing neon lights of Afterlife. She'd condemned countless beings-men and women alike-to death without so much as a second thought, all while wearing that very same scowl. Indeed, it was often the last thing her victims saw before their demise. She was angry. Downright furious really. And why shouldn't she be?

Idiot brat. What was thinking?!

An increasingly large part of her considered slapping the young man before her with a singularity in recompense for his earlier temerity...no. That might actually kill him in his weakened state. Hmm. Perhaps a hard punch would knock some sense back into him. Yes, she rather liked the sound of that, and would've acted on it too, were it not for his injuries. As things stood, she couldn't do much beyond give him a harsh tongue-lashing. Her operative had landed on death's door and only blind bloody luck had prevented fate from shoving him through.

Well, luck and a very determined Quarian girl.

The though almost made her smile.

In the end, she chose neither.

Inwardly, she resolved to teach him a lesson for this later; after all, she'd forbidden him from throwing his life away. Wouldn't do for him to think she'd gone soft in his absence, after all. Liselle would never let her hear the end of it; after all she was still absolutely smitten over the boy.

"Quite the story, there." outwardly she hummed, crossing her legs. "So? What happened next? Don't leave me in suspense."

...I am not nearly awake enough for this shit." a low, muffled growl answered her, struggling to make itself heard over the deep bass roaring around them. "Why did I agree to this again?"

This time, Aria did swat him; right upside the head. "Because you're an idiot; a loyal one at that."

Blue eyes crinkled as he smiled.

"Ow! Can't deny that."

Yes, the subject of her inquiry lounged before her unfazed, uncaring for the heat of her gaze. Were it not for the sundered state of his hard-suit, his broken organic arm, and the fresh latticework of healing scars stitched across his face. she might've discredited him outright and kicked him off Omega altogether; dismissed his story as little more than hearsay. She was no stranger to wild tales from deep space; some of them told by her own operatives no less. But this...no. This encompassed far too much to be ignored outright.

Those haunted blue eyes told her all she needed to know.

Rumor had it he'd left known space to convalesce, to heal from his injuries. Convalesce. Ha! She knew better. The little bastard could be faking it for all she knew. Sounded like something he would do. Still...

"This...Reaper of yours." she considered him, tilting her head. "You're saying you killed it. Alone. By yourself. Care to elaborate?"

Naruto shuddered.

"Not really...

There it was, that faint look of horror again. Just what had he been through? By all accounts he looked as though he'd just stepped off the battlefield. Goddess, he probably had. Still, she'd asked for a report. Surprisingly, he'd chosen to make it in person. The fact that his body was literally being held together by Medi-gel and his healing factor...well. That wasn't her concern now, was it? If he was foolish enough to limp back to her in his current state then he could probably take a hit or two. Maybe. Hmm. She had hit him rather hard...

Bah.

"You still haven't answered my question...Naruto."

The Phantom's eyes lost their glazed look, becoming strangely sad. Almost...forlorn, even. Aria sensed a story there, but chose not to pry too deeply. Odd that he'd come here alone. She would've thought he would have brought someone with him at the very least...

"Hmm?" he blinked at her. "What? Sorry, bit of a headache here...

Mildly annoyed, the Asari waved him on, beckoning for him to continue.

"We won...I think." he clicked his tongue in exasperation. "But it doesn't feel right." When she didn't pry, a rare look of anger flitted through those wild blue eyes. "The others want to go the Council and make...a report or something, to warn them, but I don't see the point. Who's going to believe us? No one."

"And yet you're telling me first." Aria answered archly. "Why?"

"Because I know you'll listen." he leaned forward on the lounge, glaring. "I saw it, boss. Its real. They're real. They need to be stopped.

"So you've said; I'll take it under consideration." she relented. "Still, you look quite pleased with yourself despite what you've said. Where's the rest of your entourage?"

Perhaps mollified by her acceptance of his statement, the whiskered warrior shrugged her praise off with a smile, the pulses of Afterlife lending his whiskered face an almost ethereal glow.

...all of three seconds from tearing strips out of my hide." he replied easily, that strange flicker of emotion vanishing as quickly as it came. "Tali's gonna kill me for sneaking out; I literally woke up and came here. Didn't even have a chance to see her. Eh, you know how it is. You save one world, you've saved them all."

Aria almost laughed outright. Oh, you blind bloody fool, how can you be yet so clever sometimes, yet so dafably dense...

Ah, yes. That reminded her.

"On that note, I found something that might interest you." when all she got was a baffled look, the asari waved him forward, presenting a datapad in her hand to the baffled blond. "One of my scouts happened upon an undiscovered world at the edge of the Perseus Veil. Given what you've told me about your past, I thought you might want to see it for yourself."

Frowning, the Phantom snatched it out of her hands.

"What are you ta-EH?!"

Blue eyes bulged as he beheld the image.

Reality stared him in the face and laughed; he was looking at five stone faces, beaten, battered and scarred by war, but still the Stone Faces...

...of Konoha.

He was looking at home.

"I...you...how the hell is this possible?!"

Before he could further ponder this strange twist of fate however, the universe decided to throw him a proverbial curve ball. If one could call a curve ball the complete and utter clusterfuck that followed. In that moment, his keen ears betrayed him; for they caught wind of a harsh crash. Ordinarily he would've paid it little mind; Omega was well known for its lack of order, and such squabbles were relatively commonplace. Indeed, Naruto might've dismissed it entirely were it not for the soft, menacing hiss that followed. Moments later a sharp, accented voice of complete and utter doom swelled in his ears:

"You're supposed to be in bed, you blond bosh'tet!"

Naruto turned positively pallid.

"Shit, shit, shit! Hide me!"

Aria simply smiled.

"No."

A/N: Don't worry, we'll get plenty of fluff and good stuff next chapter. I wanted to save it for you guys.

Wait till he realizes the surprise she has for him...

YES, I went there with that last line. Worry not, the next chapter will be far longer than this; as I've already said, 'tis merely an interlude, something to get the gears spinning again. I do hope you'll stick around as we move into the second arc; at this point, nothing Bioware says or does will bring me down! FOR THE FAAAAAAAAAAANS!

So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would Ya Kindly?

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R&R!=D